What made your brain click so you started losing weight?

[Youaremysunshine14]

I hope the title isn't too baffling! What I'm trying to get across is that I know losing weight is as much a mental challenge as a physical one and if anyone has need tips on how to make my brain engage in the process, I'd love to know them.

Background: I've been a yo-yo dieter since my teens so I'm pretty confident I know everything there is to know about how to lose weight. I've read The Obesity Code, am savvy on low carbs, glucose intolerance etc etc. I know about the body's set point and why it rebels against LCD et etc. I know about the benefits of intermittent fasting etc etc. I know that commercial diets are designed to only work in the short term and that the diet industry's success is built on a failure rate of 98% that guarantees return customers etc etc. I know all this and more (I've even tried hypnotherapy!) and yet still I'm overweight by three stone (I've been in denial about it for ages, but today I realised I'm now proper fat and can't put my arms down by my sides properly).

I've just turned 50 and I don't want the final third of my life to be blighted by ill health caused by obesity. But how the heck do I flick the switch in my brain that makes me stick to a healthy eating plan and stop scoffing crisps by the multipack-load? What worked for you? I really don't want a health scare to trigger me finally taking action – I want to sort myself out before I get to that point. I'm hoping this post, and taking some accountability, might spark something, so do share if you have any tips!

You haven't killed the thread, herecomesyour19thnervousbreakdown! It's the stupid new site glitches still mucking stuff up.

Thanks everyone else who has shared – SlippersAreNotTheOnlyFootwear, are you my twin?! One of the things I struggle most with is the idea that, if I want to be a healthy size, I do need to eat a heck of a lot less of the food I absolutely love and it's such a sabotaging thought. But, for me, finding out I'm pre-diabetes will be a relief because then there's no excusing I can do. I will have to take myself in hand if I want to be healthy in my old age.

BUT. Since posting here and receiving so much brilliant advice, I have experienced a bit of a shift. The past few days I've been naturally gravitating towards healthier food (I haven't eaten crisps in four days, which is nothing short of miraculous, and I've not craved them either) and have made a point of eating fewer carbs. I went to see my GP yesterday for something unrelated and we had a long chat about how I struggle with diet mentality after years of disordered eating and how the way we eat as a nation has become so warped since the Seventies (i.e. for many women it's become a feast or famine thing of yo-yo weight loss) when dieting became popular. She's sending me for blood tests on Thurs for check for pre-diabetes and cholesterol and has said if my levels are high she can help me access support that focuses on wellbeing rather than calories in, calories out. So that's good.

She did ask though if I drink (I do at weekends, but not every day) because alcohol is the enemy of raised blood sugar and if I drink more than is healthy I should tackle that. So I'm going to. I also went for another swim yesterday morning and did 13k steps. But probably the best thing was that I had a long chat with my OH last night about it all. He's a typical male in that he can just exercise and eat less and the weight melts off him with little effort and he's never understood why I don't just "move more, eat less". I explained in detail, for the first time, just how disordered my eating has been throughout my life since I was 15 (I'm very good at hiding multiple crisp packets so he has never really known how much I eat) and how it's much more of a mental challenge for me and he was really kind about it. So I feel like I'm not having to slog away on my own this, that between him and my GP I finally feel supported. Here's to turning that corner!

You're so right about self-sabotage.

One of the things I struggle most with is the idea that, if I want to be a healthy size, I do need to eat a heck of a lot less of the food I absolutely love and it's such a sabotaging thought.

How about reframing that thought? Instead of feeling that you must deny yourself something lovely when the urge for a second packet of crisps hits, or for anything that you know you find difficult to stick to one of, tell yourself:

"I'm looking after myself".

It's powerful.

This thread is so important because for so many of us losing weight and being healthy is a mindset issue not an information issue. There’s tons of info out there about how to lose weight but unless you get clear in your mind why you are doing it, it is hard to do and even harder to maintain.

I hear what you're saying about reframing but it's the mental shift towards thinking like that which I struggle with. I have been reading up about the brain's Reticular Activating System (RAS) though, which regulates motivation and focus amongst other things, and according to what I've been reading, it IS possible to change deep-rooted thinking, you just have to keep faking it until you make it! I think, for me, learning about how I can overcome the mental challenge of thinking I can't lose weight will be what makes my brain finally click.

I think the other thing I get my head around is not weighing myself. I need to go by how I feel and not by the number on the scale (which my GP said is never an accurate indication of health and fitness), at least in the short term while I'm getting going.

I meant, 'I think the other thing I need to get my head around...'

I hope others do find it as useful as I am, CherryOh. Because I know everything there is to know about how to lose weight – it could be my Mastermind specialist subject! – except how to convince my brain that I can be successful at it.

I was always naturally reasonably slim until my 30s and cancer hit and I put on two stone with steroids. I lost it on slimming world but then yo-yo dieted for years. It’s hit me recently that I’m in my 40s now, heavier than I’ve ever been and have had surgical menopause and if I don’t do it now it will be so much harder next year. So I looked for women in their 50s who look amazing and looked at what they do. This led me to Gwyneth Paltrow who I think looks a beacon of health. So I bought the Tracy Anderson 30 day method book off Amazon and started it. I haven’t done the exercise (can’t work the DVD player) but am walking much more and following the diet I’ve lost 8lbs in two weeks. What’s amazing for me is that I’m not thinking about food for the first time in ages - I’ve picked a couple of lunches and dinners from the plan, and eaten those on repeat and the only time I’ve thought about food has been before the weekly shop to decide which I’m picking. I know it’s very low calorie, but I am not hungry amazingly. I’ve done low carb before and tend to stall for ages which I find demoralising. I’m not saying this is a silver bullet and I know the weight loss will slow but I have bags of energy, my dodgy hips don’t hurt as much and even though it will take a while I can see me sticking to this. What has struck me is how sweet it is, she uses honey or agave in her salad dressings and maybe this natural sugar stops me craving (and binging on) chocolate. Just a thought and a suggestion - of course I may come back in two weeks and say I’ve stopped and am fatter than ever, but for now I don’t believe I will.

OP - I think we x posted or I missed your last posts. I don’t want mine to throw you off course as I think you have the right attitude and mindset! Wishing you (and Al of us) all the luck!

Logging every morsel of food into myfitness pal

You haven't thrown me off course at all! Why I started the post, and what I'm most interested in, is what triggered people to really sort their weight out. The brain shift. How people then achieve weight loss it is very much up to them as the individual, so if the GP/TA approach works for you, that's brilliant! For me, it's knowing how people started the journey, rather than the journey itself, if that makes sense!

What made you start doing that, Springsunshine1?

Also, what you said about repetitive meals struck a chord, as it's something I had started doing a few weeks ago with my breakfast (as you can see, I've been building up to starting this thread for a while!) and it's really helped. I have 3 heaped tablespoons of full-fat Greek yogurt topped with a few blueberries and bits of walnut. Not only has it helped reduced my carb cravings and helped my digestion, but having the same thing every day has stopped me overthinking what I need to eat to be healthy. I just have it on autopilot now.

I remember going to some womens business forum thing a few years ago & the speaker talked about how we women need to make good choices in our mid life (or earlier- but most there were 40+) to avoid the issues that would arise in our old age.

Not IF they arose, but WHEN. As they would - from lack of exercise, poor dietary options & not prioritising our own health.

It took a while to sink in but her words have stuck with me ... & I don't want the poor mobility my Mum has, really tricky dietary health too (Mum had a gastric bypass too 40 yrs ago) & other stuff.

I wont live forever i know haha, but I dont want to be a burden to my children because of something I could change now.
I try to eat low carb/Keto & feel much better- have lost about 11kg so far, maybe 10 to go.
But everyone has to get to that point of decision in their own time & place. I could have done this 25 years ago but my mind wasn't in the right spot for this to happen then.

I lost a stone and a half last year through combination of joining a slimming club and counting calories on an App. Also 10,000 steps everyday. Unless you have issues with mobility it is a reasonable goal and great for mental health.

The decider for me was coming up to early retirement this year and like you not wanting this part of my life feeling miserable about being overweight. I had a recent NHS health check and everything was in the healthy range, blood pressure, cholesterol. I felt really proud of myself.

Joining a club was key, the weekly weigh in and friendly camaraderie made all the difference. I still pop in for weigh ins when I can. Also regarding your fear that you will be eating rabbit portions for the rest of your life, not true. Once you have lost the weight, which is the hard denial bit, maintaining weight is straightforward. You can eat more to maintain, just not snacks, sweets etc which is a bad habit. If you binge one day, cut down the next. It is lifelong effort, unfortunately, but being able to fit into clothes is really worth it. Good luck.

In 2018, planning a trip to South Africa for a wedding. I was almost 19 stone and knew I'd be terribly uncomfortable in the heat. I lost 3 stone in 3 months and felt so much better in myself. Sadly, I stopped bothering when I came back and put it all back on.

Today, I got a bit of a kick up the bum by waking up with a big split in the sole of my foot. I've had terrible problems with cracking heels for years, except after I lost that 3 stone. Now they're worse than ever and I'm hobbling around on a bleeding foot today. I'm diabetic, so keeping my feet in good condition is essential, but being obese is messing them up badly. So I'm back on the wagon now. I don't want to be a 42 year old obese woman shuffling around on bandaged feet because I can't stop stuffing my face.

It's hard because I have ADHD, so I'm prone to shitty impulsive decisions, and I find it hard to stick to anything for long. I have to work really hard at motivating myself, finding ways to keep it interesting (I log on myfitnesspal, I have a weight monitoring app, I browse mybodygallery for inspiration) and ways to reward myself that don't involve eating (I browse clothes that I'd like to fit in!).

I think one important thing is to think of it as taking care of yourself, rather than depriving yourself. Once you get your head around that, it's much easier.

Regarding mindset, I think I saw it as a series of goals. Retiring in six months, lose weigh, check. Next goal start joining thing groups for retirement, yoga, learn to draw, literature workshops. A series of goals to reach to ease into retirement. Seeing the numbers go down on the scale each week gave me a buzz. Once you get going it's great but it is slow and you need patience.

We are both trying to get back to taking charge of different aspects of our life. We had started to retire. We were both very fit and healthy Covid struck, all the spare time, all the activities we planned, the visits All cancelled. Like many of us. Eating and drinking was about the only way we could celebrate.
Now we are trying some self discipline, but it's difficult. having lost the momentum.

A combination of things. This time last year my Dad was diagnosed with terminal cancer and he died in October. He was very fit before this and the Drs all mentioned how being fit helps fight cancer, even though he was terminal he was 'well' for a longer time because of his level of fitness.
I have Lupus and the extra weight I'm carrying is putting more pressure on my already sore joints.
I caught sight of myself in a shop window, I was pulling at my top to cover my belly and it wasn't a good look at all.
I have lost weight over the years, I always gain after being on steroids for a Lupus flare, but it has gradually crept on still.
This time I've decided not to count calories which is my preferred way but I'm just mindful of what I eat and letting myself get hungry.
I've also got a puppy that needs walked, my old dog couldn't walk the last year or so due to arthritis so I let my walking slip as well.
So far I've lost 5lbs in the last 3 weeks.

Oh I meant to add that when Dad was sick I started swimming as a gentle exercise to start me off, I also found it helped to relax me as I was very tense with the whole situation. I still go and average 70 lengths 3 or 4 times a week in a 20 m pool at the gym.
The only problem is I'm always starving after it 😄

For me it was when covid started. I'd always exercised so let myself get away with murder but I never curbed my food at all.
When the evidence started emerging that overweight people were more likely to suffer with covid more severely and it increased likelihood of death it kicked me up the arse. I thought about catching it and dying and then of my son getting older and realising that I maybe would've lived if I wasn't fat. And I didn't want him to feel abandoned and that I chose food over him.

So maybe quite a dramatic spiral of thoughts which is very typical of me. But I lost 3
Stone so it worked! I kept it off until I got pregnant and as soon as this baby is born,
I'm back on it. I can't wait to get back to my "thin" clothes. Every time I feel like over indulging, I look at my thin pictures and it spurs me on.

eenymeenymineymo I wish I'd been at that speech! I can see how motivating it could be to hear someone say it so starkly. That is exactly what I fear now I've turned 50 – that I won't be healthy enough to deal with the inevitability of ageing. Well done on your phenomenal weight loss so far! That's really inspiring.

Cocolapew I'm so sorry for the loss of your dad. It is true that being fitter does help people deal with illness though, even if it does prove terminal. I'm currently watching my MIL deal with a multitude of (non-terminal) health issues that have been made so much worse by her being vastly overweight. She has pretty much lost her mobility.

Sometimes I say to myself the little ditty,
“ nothing tastes as good as looking good feels”
it doesn’t always work but it helps 🤩

Update: I've just had a call from the Diabetes Prevention Programme and I'm now booked in for my initial assessment and first group session. Even if my blood test is borderline I'm still going to take up the place because I think if I don't do something now I'm just going to continue being obese.