I'm finally ready to do something

[Opus17]

Good morning everyone,

I've made this thread with a new username so it can remain completely independent of my other posts as I'm not sure how personal it will get 😄 I'd like to use the thread to hold myself accountable and just share ups and downs, because I really am fed up and unhappy of constantly battling this.

Back story is that I started putting on weight as a child, my eating was never regulated, I was allowed to go into the fridge whenever I wanted and I often got given processed foods for dinner. I started becoming aware of the fact that I was overweight when I was around 9 years old. I have yo-yo'd my entire life, I'm now 32. I have a really weird relationship to food and until I was 23, it was complete ignorance. I knew eating a lot and eating rubbish was bad but I was completely ignorant to calories. I didn't understand about calorie deficit etc. Nor did I weigh myself. So I don't actually know what I was, I just remember the sizes.

I learnt all about calories and deficit through the fasting diet. I did this for a few months and shifted 20lbs when I was at my heaviest. I then lived a very happy, calm 2 years where I naturally lost another 20lbs without really making a huge effort because I was very busy. I was still overweight but much happier and healthier.
Then a complete shit storm came. 2 family deaths, pregnancy loss, secondary infertility and a cancer scare for a close family member. I fell into a very dark place and of course, the weight crept back on. I started to reach a number I said I'd never reach again so this prompted me to start focusing on getting it off again. I danced Zumba at home and counted calories and I found RH fitness. They helped me get off some pounds and my clothes fit again! But we started IVF, I got pregnant straight away and I didn't count anything as by now, I knew how to eat well and I just walked. I maintained my weight throughout pregnancy. I put on 40 lbs but it was all baby and water weight (I had pre-eclampsia in the end). So a week after giving birth, I was exactly the same weight as before I got pregnant.
Breastfeeding had me starving so I ate whenever I was hungry but I still didn't put on any weight. The problem is, I've now fallen back into some old habits and breastfeeding much less but still eating loads! (DS is just over a year now) and I'm back up again at a high weight.

I'm completely fed up with this yo-yoing. I want to live longer, I want to be healthy and I want to feel comfortable in my body. I want clothes to fit and I want not to feel self-conscious when I go out. I want to do martial arts again but I feel so embarrassed about my weight, I don't go. So it's stopping me from living.

I'm going to do Team RH again. I'm going to gradually get back into it so for the next two weeks, I'm going to focus on hitting 10,000 steps and hitting my calories.

Then I will up my steps to 15,000 and focus on the macros. This is the best way for me. I can't stop everything cold turkey, and rh allows you to still have your two chocolate digestives a day, and I'm not very consistent with working out but I love walking.

So here goes! I'm not going to state my final goal weight as I personally find that demoralising. So I'm going to do it in increments. Nor am I giving myself a time limit.

32 years old
Starting weight: 210.6lbs
1st goal weight: 199lbs

I'm using this to document my days, reflect on how I'm doing (also bad days and why), to hold myself accountable and maybe wake myself up to why I fall back into old patterns and try to recognise anything that I maybe haven't before.

Feel free to ask any questions or if you're doing something similar to jump on the thread.
Good luck everyone and I really do feel like something has finally clicked with me so here goes!

I've read the first post and last post on this thread and your weight is the same as 7 weeks ago? Not trying to be unkind but whatever you're doing isn't working. I lost 9 stone in 9 months and kept it off, you have to be strict while you're losing, you have to miss out. I had 800-1000 calories a day and lost a stone a month. Fucking hell it's hard though.. but worth it. Hope you can find what works for you OP X

Just read you're still breastfeeding so have a baby, scrap what I said! I couldn't even think of losing weight when I was feeding, even when not breastfeeding.. I needed the sugar to operate as a normal human being Hats off to you for trying.

Hi @Opus17
Hope you are good? Not sure how helpful this thread has become but happy to start a new thread to compare notes.

@Handsoffstrikesagain @SergeiL
Thank you both for checking in! Apologies. Mother-in-law is here right now visiting and I wanted a proper chance to reply to everyone which I never got!

Things are going ok! I weigh myself everyday and then it's the average but ive been seeing the 208.0 this week which is nice. It's going exceptionally slow but I'm not getting too hung up on it while I'm still breastfeeding. Instead I'm focusing on changes. So biscuits are completely gone from my afternoons now and now I'm getting rid of the sugar in my coffee. No takeaways have been ordered at all in nearly two weeks which is a big deal for us. Focusing on getting the food under control really.

Handsoff - that's great you're another 2lbs down despite the wine! When I stop breastfeeding, I'm likely going to do some fasting as well.

Sergei - I hope you've had a better week and things are going smoother at work?

Can i join too? Im getting bigger by the second.

@coodawoodashooda of course! Welcome! I started the thread just to try get my eating under control and lose a bit of weight but it's going much slower than I had planned. But hoping to really get into it and restrict more when breastfeeding is over.

Also wanted to say that I will reply to everybody properly when mil has gone! (Monday!) If I get a chance before then I will but it'll likely be Monday. Hope everyone has a relaxing weekend!

Just a quick update while the whole house apart from me is still sleeping 😅

The last two days I've seen the 207s! My average weight is now 208.0lbs so nearly another half pound off this week. Again steps have been less (32,000 so far without today of course but we're going out this morning when everyone is up so I'll have likely around 40,000 for the week), but I decided to completely stop stressing about steps and exercise and focus more on the food...which seems to be working! Very often this weekend, I've been offered muffins / chocolate/ ice cream (mil visit 😆) and usually I say yes yes yes. This time, I've thought about whether I'm hungry and the fact I'm making so much effort to cut sugar, and said no all but one time. DH and MiL were scoffing two bowls of ice cream last night and I had nothing, and didn't even feel sad about it.
Still no takeaways, we've been cooking. Mil made a lovely sausage, carrot and potato soup, today we're having homemade quiche and salad.
It might seem small and silly but saying no to food when visitors are here / in a different environment is something huge for me. And probably explains my weight loss into the 207s (lowest weights was 207.5 this week) without me actually making much effort.

Hope everyone else is having a good weekend. I still plan to reply to the other messages when mil has gone!

Sounds good OP!

I had a week away over half term and did not calorie count. We are out a lot and wine was had most days! Despite this, all the walking meant that I've seen the 180's this week! So starting weight in September was 210 and yesterday I was 189.8. I'm just going to carry on with the MFP calorie counting. I'm averaging about 1500 calories per day at the moment. Have lost the Will to restrict more than that. Will try to quit wine until Christmas too.

Hi everyone,
sorry I've been very absent. My deadline is fast approaching for my master dissertation so I'm really needing every half hour for that at the moment but DS is sleeping now and I thought I'd write a proper reply now and sacrifice some study time!

@MsRedhook have you been fasting? how has that been going? I hope you've managed to break the plateau and it's helped you along mentally. --- I've come back to this because I've just seen you replied yesterday. That's great you're seeing the 180s now, that must be a great feeling and give you some motivation to keep going. 1500 calories in itself is a good number.

@CookPassBabtridge not at all, it's tough seeing that despite making some changes, I'm only down 3 pounds in 2 months! I do think it's the breastfeeding which is stopping me from losing weight. DS will go a few days not feeding then he'll teethe or become ill, and suddenly he's wanting to feed 4 times through the day again, and I find I'm then starving for a few days and eat everything in sight. So my focus just now is to make small changes and at least stop putting weight on, which for the time being, I'm doing at least!

@Handsoffstrikesagain thanks for checking in again! I'm actually doing really well still with my very small changes thanks! Biscuits are still gone, still haven't ordered a takeaway (I think it's been nearly 3 weeks), the sugar in my coffee is gone - I've been working on that this week, stopping the sugar in the last coffee of the day, then the 2nd coffee etc (except the very first coffee of the day...I can't bring myself to stop that yet). How has you week and weekend been?

@SergeiL how have you been? How have the last few weeks been?

My weight average for last week was 207.6lbs so another half a pound off from the week before. I'll take these half a pound losses, at least the scales are moving now, even if it's slowly. I'm doing zero exercise though apart from short walks with my son, averaging 5-8,000 steps a day so not very much. I'm back to Taekwondo tomorrow, so will likely weigh in high after that because of my aching muscles but in the long run, that'll aid the weight loss.

Mentally, I still want to do it. And I don't feel the need to buy biscuits or chocolate or sugary things right now. I'm snacking on ham or cheese, trying to follow reduced carbs and sugar.

My goal now is to just do my best to get to the 200lb mark for Christmas.

Sunday check in.

I've stayed exactly the same weight-wise this week, but I ended up eating quite a bit of sugar the last few days and just generally eating too much, so I've seen an increase in my daily weigh-ins already.
I seem to still be stuck in the same place with the weight barely shifting. I have made changes that have stuck - no more mid-morning toast, no more afternoon biscuits, no more sugar in 3/4 of my daily coffees, no carbs for lunch, still no takeaways and losing the craving for them now which is great.

But something still has to give cause I'm still stuck. Usually when I try to lose weight, it comes off so the fact it isn't this time is making me wonder why - if it's breastfeeding still then great, I have an explanation but if it isn't then maybe I'm just not doing enough.

We'll see how this week goes. I wasn't out as much the last week and I missed the walking and fresh air which helps me mentally and I'm guessing contributed to the increase in my sugar consumption the last few days - when I fall into my "fuck it" attitude. But I'm shaking that off again.
Progress not perfection!

Going to take a break from this thread and not update for a while as it's a bit dead in the water now anyway.
I want my master dissertation in by Christmas so it's a lot of pressure and I'm stepping back from a lot of things right now to focus on that.

If anyone does still read, good luck to you!