I'm finally ready to do something

[Opus17]

Good morning everyone,

I've made this thread with a new username so it can remain completely independent of my other posts as I'm not sure how personal it will get 😄 I'd like to use the thread to hold myself accountable and just share ups and downs, because I really am fed up and unhappy of constantly battling this.

Back story is that I started putting on weight as a child, my eating was never regulated, I was allowed to go into the fridge whenever I wanted and I often got given processed foods for dinner. I started becoming aware of the fact that I was overweight when I was around 9 years old. I have yo-yo'd my entire life, I'm now 32. I have a really weird relationship to food and until I was 23, it was complete ignorance. I knew eating a lot and eating rubbish was bad but I was completely ignorant to calories. I didn't understand about calorie deficit etc. Nor did I weigh myself. So I don't actually know what I was, I just remember the sizes.

I learnt all about calories and deficit through the fasting diet. I did this for a few months and shifted 20lbs when I was at my heaviest. I then lived a very happy, calm 2 years where I naturally lost another 20lbs without really making a huge effort because I was very busy. I was still overweight but much happier and healthier.
Then a complete shit storm came. 2 family deaths, pregnancy loss, secondary infertility and a cancer scare for a close family member. I fell into a very dark place and of course, the weight crept back on. I started to reach a number I said I'd never reach again so this prompted me to start focusing on getting it off again. I danced Zumba at home and counted calories and I found RH fitness. They helped me get off some pounds and my clothes fit again! But we started IVF, I got pregnant straight away and I didn't count anything as by now, I knew how to eat well and I just walked. I maintained my weight throughout pregnancy. I put on 40 lbs but it was all baby and water weight (I had pre-eclampsia in the end). So a week after giving birth, I was exactly the same weight as before I got pregnant.
Breastfeeding had me starving so I ate whenever I was hungry but I still didn't put on any weight. The problem is, I've now fallen back into some old habits and breastfeeding much less but still eating loads! (DS is just over a year now) and I'm back up again at a high weight.

I'm completely fed up with this yo-yoing. I want to live longer, I want to be healthy and I want to feel comfortable in my body. I want clothes to fit and I want not to feel self-conscious when I go out. I want to do martial arts again but I feel so embarrassed about my weight, I don't go. So it's stopping me from living.

I'm going to do Team RH again. I'm going to gradually get back into it so for the next two weeks, I'm going to focus on hitting 10,000 steps and hitting my calories.

Then I will up my steps to 15,000 and focus on the macros. This is the best way for me. I can't stop everything cold turkey, and rh allows you to still have your two chocolate digestives a day, and I'm not very consistent with working out but I love walking.

So here goes! I'm not going to state my final goal weight as I personally find that demoralising. So I'm going to do it in increments. Nor am I giving myself a time limit.

32 years old
Starting weight: 210.6lbs
1st goal weight: 199lbs

I'm using this to document my days, reflect on how I'm doing (also bad days and why), to hold myself accountable and maybe wake myself up to why I fall back into old patterns and try to recognise anything that I maybe haven't before.

Feel free to ask any questions or if you're doing something similar to jump on the thread.
Good luck everyone and I really do feel like something has finally clicked with me so here goes!

@Bigbus oh that sounds lovely, I hope you had a nice time! I never heard of noom. I feel like there's so much out there I don't know about! Makes me wonder if a different method will work for me.

So my weekly steps totalled 62,405 and my weight average is 210.5lbs.

Usually I'd feel awful I didn't make the 70,000 and beat myself up but I'm not doing that this time round! Reaching that many steps this week was actually a positive for me as I never reach more than 32,000 (the last three weeks for example were 32,000, 23,000 and 31,000). I need to work towards that 70,000 mark but 62 is a good start. Not worried about my weight either due to some very bloated days Wednesday - Saturday. Next week should look better than the loss of .1lb 😂

Have a good start to the week everyone!

Morning all! Checking in. I started on reducing the wine last week very successfully but only starting proper low carb today as wanted to enjoy the last few days of school holidays. I haven’t weighed in today as having a period from hell but I think last week’s efforts equated to about 3 lb.

78k steps last week but no additional exercise so my goal is to introduce something new this week, maybe slow jogging.

How is everyone doing?

@Opus17 well done on the steps. Definitely don’t be beating yourself up. I hear you on the bloating front!

@SergeiL that's an impressive amount of steps! Good luck with the week ahead.

I've fallen behind with my steps the last two days (7000 each day) but my calories were spot on. Either I'm hitting my steps and going slightly over my cals or the opposite! 😆
It's all about doing little changes though until it all links up. DH is back at work tomorrow after 3 months paternity. I'm looking forward to having the days with my ds again and it also means lots of steps as I go out twice a day with him usually! Just to the park but I always walk the longer way so there and back is 4,000 steps minimum.

Cals are spot on again today and we're planning a walk together when they come back from playgroup. I still feel like mentally I'm feeling different and very motivated though so that's a positive.

@Opus17 well done. When I lost a large amount of weight before, whilst the steps made me feel good and motivated me to carry on, I reckon the weight loss was 95% food so you should be seeing some progress I think. I have a dog so my steps are a bit easier to get! Once you have got your days to yourself, there will be no stopping you!

Ok. Keeping posting as it is keeping me going, even if no one else is around.

So 4lbs overall loss in 2 weeks. Week 1 was off alcohol only. I started proper low carbing and no alcohol on Tuesday. So it’s ok. I thought I would have lost a little more but hey ho.

Not giving up!

@SergeiL I'm glad that posting is helping keep the motivation up! 4lbs in two weeks is amazing, well done! With low carb, do you allow yourself a certain amount and weigh it? Or do you just avoid as much as possible?

And thank you for your previous comment! I find I don't eat awful or a lot but I eat too much for my lack of movement so getting the steps in is essential for me as I don't want to eat less (I just end up hungry and binging!)

Sorry for my lack of replies. It's crazy how much energy a 14 month old can zap from you and I'll be writing this Master dissertation for a few months yet so I'll be back sporadically but will still try to post every couple days :) As it is keeping my motivation up too.

I made my 10,000 steps yesterday, and I'm on 7,000 today with another walk ahead of me (twice a day out with toddler is great for the steps haha).

Hope you're having a good day so far!

Well done on the steps! I have been a bit rubbish on that front due to the heat as the dog really struggles in the hot weather. Having said that I am just back from a 40 minute walk and am on track for my daily steps.

With regards carbs, all I do is completely avoid bread, pasta, rice and potatoes. I then have a rough idea of other veg that is high-ish in carbs and avoid or limit that. I have eaten loads of salad and veg this week and do feel better for it, although had a bit of a headache which as I recall from before is normal to start with.

Having a 14 month old and doing a masters sounds massively challenging! Well done.

Be great if you manage to check in albeit sporadically and we can keep each other going and hopefully some others will come back too!

@SergeiL thank you! Ah yeah I understand not heading out as much in the heat with the dog! I actually prefer walking when it's cooler/in the rain 😅 how did you go over the weekend?

My 2nd week saw 56,000 steps (so worse than last week), and my average weight for the week is 209.6lbs so at least there's a loss there even if it's a small one.

Disappointed in my steps, I could've done much better. I decided on Saturday to study instead of go for a walk then yesterday we went on a day out so I thought I'd be able to play some catch up but only made 11,000 steps.

This is the first full week with my son so it'll be easier getting the steps in. My eating seems to be going quite well for the most part but I do eat over some days, to try not do this, I'm going to try save more calories for the evenings.

Wish everyone a lovely week ahead!

That should say how did you get on over the weekend!

Well done on the loss! Keep going!

My weekend wasn’t the best for eating but I don’t tend to be as strict at weekends anyway and I knew yesterday would be a challenge as we were out all day. Today is a bit of a write off due to hating Mondays and being knackered but I am optimistic for this week being a good week overall!

Hope this week’s walks with your son go to plan! I need to try a bit harder on the steps front this week!

I did something quite similar to Team RH last year. Basically a lot of walking and other exercise, allowing me to eat more than on your average diet. I was also having sugary treats, just smaller portions. I lost 3 stone but the spoiler is that it didn’t last. I put half the weight back on and developed really strong urges to binge that I found I couldn’t control.

Sorry if it sounds like a downer but there is a sort of happy ending (I hope). I realised that the calories in calories out model just doesn’t work for me and I was relieved to find that it wasn’t just me being a failure, it’s been scientifically proven in the book mentioned above. I have since lost the weight I regained (apart from one kilo) following the advice by Andrew Jenkinson - cut all processed food and reduce carbs (not to keto levels but enough to stop hunger). I have also been combining it with Fast 800 and Jason Fung’s advice but it more or less comes down to the same thing - insulin makes you fat (not excess calories), carbs trigger insulin and if you lose weight, your body fights like hell to get you back to where you started unless you drastically change what you eat. Having chocolate digestives for me is like having a small bit of crack for a drug addict. Not sustainable.

The issue I have with people like Team RH is that for the most part they’ve never had a weight problem. They don’t understand what it’s like when your body feels out of control. They tell you it’s simple (calories in calories out) but for someone who has issues with overeating, it’s as ‘simple’ as saying ‘just don’t sleep’. Eventually your body will win out. 15000 steps is a lot. I have done it a handful of days over the past year or so but daily it takes a lot of time that you might not have if you’re busy. A brisk 40 minute walk is about 5,000 steps so you need 3 of those every single day. If you have a commute to work that you can walk or a dog or a school run, you can do it but if it’s just forcing yourself to go for a walk, that will be tough because you have to do it every single day, probably for the rest of your life.

It’s obviously up to you how you proceed but it sounds like you have a complex relationship to food that someone like the Team RH lot don’t really get. They tend to blame those who don’t succeed when it’s way more complex than that. All I will say is read some of the books mentioned and think about it.

I am doing low carb so not really sure what Team RH is but I can’t imagine it is ever a bad thing to try and do lots of steps.

Nothing wrong with it at all but Team RH relies on you hitting a very high number of steps every day. If you don’t, you don’t lose weight (or not enough to keep you motivated).

@SergeiL It's difficult to keep the calories under control when you go out and about, this is what I find difficult. Weekends are always much harder. Yesterday, I managed 8,000 steps, today we were out at playgroup this morning so I'm on 7,500 and we will go to the park after naptime to 10,000 will be done today. Hope your day is going well so far! (I understand about Mondays lol)

@Ontherebound34 Thanks for the long post and the advice! I read through it last night (only getting a chance now to reply of course) but as the book has been mentioned a few times on this thread, I went ahead and bought it last night. I'm open to read and see if it helps. I see what you're saying with Team RH. 15,000 steps just isn't attainable for me (as can be seen in this thread - there are lots of days I haven't even made 10,000) and although I love Richie and Rachael, it does make me feel like shite when I'm made out to be lazy cause I can't get my steps in. Sometimes, I'm just exhausted and when I have a free 45 minutes (so when DH is back from work for example and can take the toddler), I have to choose between shower, dissertation, cleaning the kitchen or going for a walk, and sometimes a walk is just bottom priority.
I've been counting calories for 8 years and it makes me feel in control but I'm still overweight so clearly it's not doing wonders. I guess I'm scared to stop calorie counting and throw away the scales as whenever I've briefly stopped in the 8 years (although these were usually hard times like MMC or family death), I always put on. I guess it makes me feel like at least I'm not putting on again as I've never gone back up to 240lbs which is what I was when I started calorie counting. I actually did the 5:2 with that as well for a few months and lost 20lbs but I found myself to be quite grumpy and dreading those days so in the end I stopped.
If you don't mind, can I ask you, do you have to really restrict all carbs? Would I have to give up my morning weetbix and my evening veggie pasta? I just don't know if getting rid of all carbs is the best thing for me either. I also eat a lot of peppers and peas so they'd need to go too. And is fasting something that you'll just keep doing forever? Or will you stop when you reach the weight you'd like to be? Because again, I don't see how I can fast forever when I'm grumpy and hating those days (although maybe it would be different now I'm 8 years older).

I find it so demoralising in the sense I don't know what is correct. TeamRH say carbs don't make you fat, but the new book says they do. Some people say fasting is good for you, other says it's not sustainable and unhealthy. I'm starting to realise it's a constant battle and sadly one we'll have to fight our whole lives I reckon.

Guess I'm feeling a bit meh today! But I'm not going to turn to chocolate or a pizza because of it lol

It’s so complex isn’t it? I can totally understand that it’s overwhelming. Also, one important thing is that everyone is different so it’s very hard to have totally hard and fast rules. Team RH might be the answer for you but I know it’s not for me. Ritchie and Rachel have not got a history of weight problems and come at this as people who are very active, are active for a living and probably don’t have a screwed up relationship with food. That’s why terminology like laziness and motivation is used when others can’t keep up with something that’s actually quite difficult. As long as you don’t fall into the trap of blaming yourself. It’s not your fault if you can’t keep up and the level of steps may not be realistic.

So for me, I probably will stay lowish carbs in the future because it’s the only way that my hunger can stay in check. I will eat more calories once I reach goal weight. Also, it’s not no carb, just no grains. So for me, no weetabix or pasta (but again, it might be different for others). Peppers are absolutely fine and so are a few peas. I don’t feel at all deprived and I don’t crave carbs at all. That’s a huge contrast to when I used to fantasise about cake and pizza all the time. I do 16:8 fasting which is essentially just skipping breakfast which I can do long term.

I think if you feel good on the Team RH plan, go for it. But it’s always a good thing to be armed with knowledge about other ways of eating too, in case it doesn’t work out.

I think the key is you are ready to do something, and the something that you do needs to work for you. There is no magic bullet if your head isn’t in the right space. I lost loads of weight low carbing. Then things started to go wrong in my life and due to various stresses, I fell off the wagon. I wasn’t in the right head space to make a salad instead of grabbing a sandwich, roast vegetables instead of boiling up pasta. I am in a better headspace now (although this week has been a struggle due to lack of sleep) so I think I can get going again.

God I just ventured on to the Facebook page and saw stuff like this. Just no. To me, it just shows their total lack of empathy with people with a history of disordered eating. I won’t comment on pushing Diet Coke and skimmed milk. One thing I really like about the books mentioned above is that they do not blame the individual or suggest that you are greedy, lazy or a failure. You’re not. Some people might like ‘tough love’ (although it mainly seems to be insults) but I rarely find it effective. There were many reasons why I gained weight but I know it wasn’t because I was a fat lazy pig who inhaled takeaways.

Wow! That is horrific.

So I have been struggling a bit this week so I don’t think I will lose anything but hopefully won’t gain either. I still feel in the right mindset - just one of those weeks when stuff goes wrong!

@Opus17 how are you doing?

@Ontherebound34 thanks for sharing how you do things! I also actually saw that post this morning and kind of rolled my eyes. I've never really done that before but I feel like recently my eyes are being opened up to the fact I'm not just a lazy failure when it comes to weight loss!

@SergeiL I'm doing well thanks! I'm sorry to hear you've been having a bad week - sometimes that just happens. Don't let it get you down, sometimes life does that. How has today been?
I managed 13,000 steps on Tuesday, 9,000 yesterday, and so far today I'm on 5,000 but I have an unhappy DS who got his men B jab yesterday so I'm a bit knackered today. I seem to be thinking a lot about everything I've learned this week from my counselling session (I think I said this already but we had a really good chat about this a week and a half ago, and she made me realise that I was always so hard on myself and I beat myself down when I don't make my steps or calories that it's hard to get back up and when I think about that paired with what ontherebound is saying it actually makes me realise that Team RH isn't actually for me cause they make me feel like utter crap when I don't make my steps and so I go out to push myself, don't manage then feel awful. My counsellor said that the first step is to understand it's a long process and it needs to come out of positivity). I guess I've been having an epiphany haha. I had a huge chat with DH and realised the two times I lost weight naturally was my first year at uni and one of my years abroad - I didn't weight calories these years, and I walked loads. I didn't weigh myself either but I remember the clothes sizes getting smaller and smaller.

I'm realising with Team RH, I end up eating more than I actually need in an attempt to make the macros, so I'm not actually listening to my body. On Tuesday, I was full in the evening and I had only eaten 1500 cals that day. Usually I'd be cramming in the next 400. I'm not completely ditching the food weighing yet but I've decided to just do what I did in those two years. Also, my daily aim is now 8-10,000 steps so I don't feel dreadful when I see 8,500 steps at 8pm!

After starting the week a bit confused, I've decided to just not really listen to anyone and just do what I know is best for me but without the guilt and beating myself up! It's a bit scary cause it feels like I'm losing control but with my change in mindframe, I'm hoping it'll see results while being happy doing it.

Sorry that turned into an essay! But I guess this is the whole reason I started this post. To share thoughts and reflections, and I feel like it has already helped me move on from something which wasn't working.

When I say don't listen to anyone, I mean Team RH / other diets etc.
I read it back and it sounded like I meant people on this thread! I'm actually grateful for the posters here who have been supportive and also helped me see that Team RH are not actually for me.

I understood what you mean and you are spot on. Well done - sounds like you are making great progress physically and mentally.

I am trying not to write off the week but my daughter is poorly today and I am rubbish when one of the kids are ill. I focus on them and don’t look after myself. So I am not eating the right things but I am not eating much of anything so it’s not all bad!

I am planning a big house clean at the weekend and I know that will help my mood and positivity.

Sorry to hear your daughter is poorly, it's so difficult when they're ill. Definitely sounds like you just need to go easy on yourself at the moment! My DS couldn't nap today at all and eventually passed out at 2:45, he's still going so not sure we'll get our afternoon walk in as he's still going and I don't want to disturb him cause of the jab.

I hope your daughter feels better soon, this change of weather brings lots of colds and bugs around.

Well yesterday ended up being a complete write-off. 5,500 steps and a McDonald's got ordered 🙈
My son didn't wake up until 5:45pm (I love how jabs mess up sleep!) So we didn't get out for our afternoon walk, I was exhausted after dealing with an unhappy boy all day, and couldn't be bothered making the bake. So DH suggested we order and focus on getting DS to bed before midnight 🤣
So I consumed 2100 cals and only walked 5,500 steps. I can do better than that and I know it but I'm going to just get right back on it today. I've decided to try and wait longer before eating when I feel hunger and just be a little hungry for a while. I'm always thinking about my next meal and when to eat it and I'd like to stop thinking about it so much.

I'm still reading the why we eat too much book, albeit slowly but it's been interesting so far.

Have a good day everyone, and hope your daughter is feeling better sergeiL.

Morning @Opus17 it has been a rough night but she seems a bit better now. I, on the other hand, am broken! I think you are right - I need to go easy on myself. Also - in retrospect - starting a new regime plus giving up wine whilst getting the kids settled back into school and managing extra curricular dramas was a little ambitious! And now with illness in the house, I am not beating myself up about things slipping - and neither should you! Sounds like you were kind to yourself yesterday and did the right thing for your family.

Onwards and upwards!