Has anyone just thought ‘fuck it, maybe I’m just a bit fat now?’

[Rainallnight]

I’ve been a size 8/10 all my life, apart from a few blips.

Now mid forties, weight has been steadily gaining, exacerbated by lockdown and a couple of bereavements.

I’ve made some efforts to lose it, losing a few pounds and then just going back to my old ways. I have a very sweet tooth.

I’m just overweight on my BMI, though I feel it looks worse than the numbers suggest because I’m short and don’t carry weight very well.

I love clothes and nothing really fits me any more.

But I’m finding it SO hard to get motivated to lose weight. I just can’t be arsed. And I know all the health reasons, and I’m really pissed off about my clothes.

But I still can’t.

And maybe I should just join the substantial percentage of British women who are overweight, say fuck it, and buy a bigger pair of jeans.

Has anyone done this?

I was on the cusp of exactly this about 6 weeks ago but I couldn’t bring myself to do it (health reasons as well as appearance) -
The day I had that thought I went and joined slimming world and I am now half a stone down and feeling much healthier.
Staying how you are is a valid choice though!

Thanks for the reply @ihavespoken. What were the health reasons, if you don’t mind saying? I know all the major ones and usually they’d really concern me, esp as I have young DC. But I’ve found myself going, ‘well, it’s not like I’m obese, so maybe the risks aren’t that bad’

Me.

Mid forties like you. Always been a size 10, three kids one after the other, now a size 16.

Magnificent boobs so it's swings and roundabouts

And what was it that tipped you over the edge, so to speak?

Yes but I don’t actually feel comfortable I just need to find my motivation….after the summer hols I’m sure it will reappear. Hopefully.

It’s annoying actually as twice in lockdown I’ve lost weight & got to where I want to be. Once through diet & exercise then thought fk it…the pandemic is never going to end so drab all the wine & ate all the crisps….second time through anxiety due to the pandemic which I wouldn’t recommend.
3rd time lucky?

The problem with that approach is that you likely will just continue to put on weight albeit slowly and as you get older it gets way more difficult to lose .

I am with you. I am 47, peri menopausal but at my happiest with my work life balance. I am overweight, maybe need to loose a stone or so but quite frankly, I cannot summon up the motivation right now.

You're me! I started latest calorie controlled diet on Friday and am already boring my dh to death. But whilst I'm super keen to drop that half a stone, for me it's more about taking control of me again. So no I'm not giving up wine (drinking 2nd glass now) but if i want the wine I can't have the chunks of cheese, bars of chocolate etc. Basically a bit of sacrifice/reward at the moment coupled with my exercise of swimming. And I'm just gonna do one week at a time and forgive myself for the odd binge day. My aim right now is to not put on more weight and eat better. Give yourself small, achievable targets. Don't keep thinking about the magic target look/weight because it's too much to think about at once

That’s great advice @Angelik
Defo one day at a time is a good approach.
I use the nutracheck app for calorie counting. It’s really good.

@Rainallnight

Thanks for the reply *@ihavespoken*. What were the health reasons, if you don’t mind saying? I know all the major ones and usually they’d really concern me, esp as I have young DC. But I’ve found myself going, ‘well, it’s not like I’m obese, so maybe the risks aren’t that bad’

They aren’t anything too bad - I have been suffering with acid reflux which is unpleasant but not a big health problem. I kept telling myself I would stop eating shite to help the symptoms but I just never did. I thought- do I want to go the rest of my life necking gaviscon and feeling that none of my clothes are comfortable, or should I try and address it, when it’s completely in my control to take charge of the situation. Basically I couldn’t justify continuing to feel a bit down about my unhealthy lifestyle when it was in my control to fix it.

**disclaimer - I know it’s not that easy for lots of people and I don’t mean that everyone should just be able to flick a switch, but it just happened that it was the right time for me

I’d gone from a slim size 12 to finding a size 14 tight and was heading towards the top of my BMI.
I was sat on the sofa with my Buddha belly rolls, stuffing my face & drinking wine, & just thought “enough”. I did NOT want to buy size 16. I definitely did not want to end up on BP medication and statins like my large DM.

I got on the scales the next morning, logged my weight on My Fitness Pal and worked out my TDEE and reduced the maintenance calories by 20% after reading about how MFP kept calories too low and unsustainable.
tdeecalculator.net/

I weighed and logged every morsel, it was a real eye opener to see a Tesco sandwich & bag of crisps had more calories than a portioned out roast dinner! I didn’t log any exercise on MFP as that gave me extra calories to eat back which not only stalled my weight loss but actually saw me gain a few lbs.

I’ve been a size 8/10 for the last 18 months. I’m slimmer now at 50 than I’ve ever been in my life because I keep a daily track of my calories.

Taking care of myself weight wise has also made me take the huge step of giving up alcohol. I was drinking far too much too often, I come from a family of alcoholics and was in danger of heading in that direction. Being able to take control of my weight also made me feel able to take control of my drinking.
I started dry July in 2020 and I haven’t had a drink since.

@Notashandyta

Me.

Mid forties like you. Always been a size 10, three kids one after the other, now a size 16.

Magnificent boobs so it's swings and roundabouts

If I had any boobs to speak of I’d have been much happier about how I looked I must say!! However I have tiny boobs so I don’t go lovely and voluptuous when I put weight on - bah

You want to be confident no matter what size, do you feel confident now that you have changed slightly? Don't live hating yourself xxx

Me. Cannot lose weight since I hit 40. Now I exercise more than ever so at least I’m toned and relatively healthy. My bum is like a big peach thanks to about 200 squats a week!

Yes. And it was a bloody slippery slope!

After I had DD I refused to try to 'lose the baby weight' as I was sort of protesting (internally) about the unrealistic expectations on new mothers, women being judged on how they look, etc etc. Result was not just staying a bit overweight, but piling on about 4.5 stone.

It was a mindset of, I'm a bit fat now, never mind, doesn't matter if I eat a load of crap then.

DD is now nearly 5 and I'm fighting to shift the weight. Covid was the push for me. Finding out I was CEV, but in addition to that being overweight increasing my risk.

Tbh even without covid I think I would have decided to try to lose weight, covid just brought an urgency. I was at a stage where I hated to see myself and was embarrassed to go out where people could see me. I also had constant pressure on my throat if I was looking down (at my phone, for instance) from my double chin which was making me feel light headed.

It was a real wake up call.

I used to feel the same until one day we got an impromptu invite to a VERY swish party, with only 4 days to go I felt fat and unattractive, we couldn't go in the end because my other half got called out to work suddenly over that weekend, I was kind of relieved if a tad upset that the decision had been taken out of my hands, but from that day on I vowed that I don't want to ever feel like that again. Hopefully the same people will have another posh party but next time I'll be ready!

@Wimowehwimowehwimowehwimoweh

I’d gone from a slim size 12 to finding a size 14 tight and was heading towards the top of my BMI. I was sat on the sofa with my Buddha belly rolls, stuffing my face & drinking wine, & just thought “enough”. I did NOT want to buy size 16. I definitely did not want to end up on BP medication and statins like my large DM.

I got on the scales the next morning, logged my weight on My Fitness Pal and worked out my TDEE and reduced the maintenance calories by 20% after reading about how MFP kept calories too low and unsustainable.
tdeecalculator.net/

I weighed and logged every morsel, it was a real eye opener to see a Tesco sandwich & bag of crisps had more calories than a portioned out roast dinner! I didn’t log any exercise on MFP as that gave me extra calories to eat back which not only stalled my weight loss but actually saw me gain a few lbs.

I’ve been a size 8/10 for the last 18 months. I’m slimmer now at 50 than I’ve ever been in my life because I keep a daily track of my calories.

Taking care of myself weight wise has also made me take the huge step of giving up alcohol. I was drinking far too much too often, I come from a family of alcoholics and was in danger of heading in that direction. Being able to take control of my weight also made me feel able to take control of my drinking.
I started dry July in 2020 and I haven’t had a drink since.

Can I just say, well done you

The problem though is that you're likely to just carry on gaining - even a 1lb a week is over 4 stone in a year. I'm 41 (size 12) and actually slimmer now than I was at 18 (size 18) but it takes a lot of hard work.

Thank you hanketypankety I am hugely proud (and relieved!) about the alcohol free bit

Interesting to read the gaviscon comment, I am having to rely on it more and more, especially after drinking. I only used to drink once a week, ah.d. A bottle of wine but Cv 19 has caused this to increase to two or three times a week. Vicious circle with this and gaviscon!

I've really bit the bullet as my weight was creeping up. I don't carry weight well and although I'm 5'7 10 stone makes me look chunky. It had been creeping on and I didn't think anything would change it but by making an effort it has.

Like a PP I have been calorie counting and have gone down to 9'6. It's been a real eye opener seeing how many calories are in different things. Ive always eaten quite healthily but I'd stopped only eating when hungry. So now I'm counting but have also cut out crap and it's really worked with me losing a pound a week. For me that's been fab as I the half a stone off has meant I can fit into things that I hadn't been able to fit into for a while.

I want to get back to around 9 stone, 9 stone 3 as that will make me feel a lot better and mean I won't need a new wardrobe!

Not so much, though fuck it but just can’t get the motivation to diet. I don’t want to get any bigger, I’m a size 16 and I think if I continued to gain weight I would need to do something.

At the moment, work is breaking me and I don’t have time to exercise or the mental energy to sort my diet. I work shifts, eat at odd times, it’s a bit shit really. Plus I’m menopausal which doesn’t help at all.

I hate being the size I am though. And my shape has changed, I’m much rounder now, used to be very pear shaped.

I hear ya, OP, and can relate.
I really can't be arsed to lose the 10 or so kilos but I know I need to because I feel crap physically and in terms of appearance. Also my risk of diabetes and cardiovascular disease has likely doubled plus the weight is taking it's toll on my MSK system (along with my age-early 40s).
But my motivation is zero.

@Wimowehwimowehwimowehwimoweh what you've achieved is amazing! Well done! I keep saying no more booze but not commiting. But I did give up smoking last year (quit smoking app says 1year 4 months 3days 15hrs!) so yay me. Like a lot of people the past year has been very difficult - work stresses mostly which I have to learn to manage how I respond to and have only just started on really. I stopped taking citalopram (for anxiety) a week ago and am feeling the difference not in positive way EXCEPT the diet is a way of managing myself, my self control in consumption and emotional response. It ain't easy - I was a misery on Sunday but that was Sunday. Today I was happier. I ate well. Engaged with my dh (we've booked a night out), did some positive stuff at work. Baby steps...