Has anyone just thought ‘fuck it, maybe I’m just a bit fat now?’

[Rainallnight]

I’ve been a size 8/10 all my life, apart from a few blips.

Now mid forties, weight has been steadily gaining, exacerbated by lockdown and a couple of bereavements.

I’ve made some efforts to lose it, losing a few pounds and then just going back to my old ways. I have a very sweet tooth.

I’m just overweight on my BMI, though I feel it looks worse than the numbers suggest because I’m short and don’t carry weight very well.

I love clothes and nothing really fits me any more.

But I’m finding it SO hard to get motivated to lose weight. I just can’t be arsed. And I know all the health reasons, and I’m really pissed off about my clothes.

But I still can’t.

And maybe I should just join the substantial percentage of British women who are overweight, say fuck it, and buy a bigger pair of jeans.

Has anyone done this?

I’ve been trying to think of this as self care rather than a diet- making sure all the things I eat are nutritious and good for me rather than just providing my daily quota of calories, seems to be working for me this time

I also don’t think now’s the time to beat ourselves up about weight gain.. being kind to ourselves is so important. This makes me cry as it’s so beautiful

Me

Really hear you OP. Sort of accepting my shape has changed since having kids, but also, have started getting fit (it really makes me feel better) and acknowledging that although I eat fairly "healthily" I overeat (because I love food and have few other pleasures to myself!!) so trying to lose a bit, but don't have any huge goals other than to keep going very slowly downwards.

I'm not actually overweight but look like I have a very large middle. Because of this, finding clothes that don't look awful/like I'm pregnant is really hard and I don't want to make it harder.

I still eat chocolates, chips etc, just a bit less often and in a bit smaller quantities. I always vowed to myself I wouldn't give up what I loved just to be thin or anything, but I'll be honest and say I have a higher bar as to what I think is worth eating, now that I realise how bad it can be for my weight!

This is absolutely me! Size 8/10 until I hit 40. Now 11 stone and size 12. And gaining. Loving finally having tits! Gave up smoking so I did eat more.
But I feel uncomfortable. I have my first roll of fat and a belly and it just doesn't feel right.
So this week I've started calorie counting with my fitness pal. My first diet!
Just eating less crap and moving more. Am on 1400-1500 calories a day plus IF. Being careful though. And using my spin bike more.
Just trying to knock a stone off little bit by little bit.

Well done to the posters who managed to lose, loving suggestions. Good to know it's achievable 🙂

I’m another one who initially thought fuck it. Size 14 isn’t so bad. Trouble is, I kept getting slowly bigger. There was no point where my weight stabilised, I gained about half a stone every 2 years and I wasn’t wearing the extra weight well at all.

I had to put the brakes on, get into reverse and lose it. I’m now back to a size 8 and look and feel much, much better.

Yes but then I got fatter and ended up with a BMI of 28. I'm now trying to get back to a healthy weight.

Yes I've felt like this! But as others have said - the weight doesn't stop increasing. I had a baby during lockdown last year and made no attempt to stop comforting myself with food until very recently. My weight was creeping up and I felt like I was on a train gaining speed so gradually I didn't realise I was miles away from where I wanted to be!

It's totally fine to say 'I'm just a bit fat now' as long as you know what to do to maintain that weight and take care of your health and fitness at the same time. I decided I needed to take a hard look at everything I ate and every time I moved to establish a new relationship with food and exercise. This doesn't mean I won't ever be fat again, but I will be empowered.

Yep I’ve thought this - 46 in peri with now 11st but only 5’2’’ - I don’t want to be unhealthy but I am jacking motivation to get off my arse and exercise and sort my eating habits. I blame lockdown and a move to WFH…

almost daily.

I hate being fat. I can't accept that this it, yet I'm unsure as to how I could lose weight (lots of obstacles).

so round and round I go. literally

I had surgery in March and got terrible redlux and lost 10lbs in about 2weeks. I thought great, only another 10 to go. I put it back on. I ended up buying some bigger shorts and T-shirt’s for summer. I’m a 14 so not huge but I look awful in the store windows and photos and have lovely clothes I don’t fit. All past attempts over the last 4 years have failed, except for the time I lost 20lbs and I can remember how! At least I only put 10 back on.

Can’t

So I’m just trying to up veg and fruit, have a couple of meat free dinners, only have alcohol fri /sat, less processed food and reduce snacking

This thread has actually inspired me to realise I don’t want to let myself go! Currently 11.8 & really want to get down to early 10st. I’m 42 & like previous posters have said time isn’t really on my side to manage it.
I’m too fond of wine & crisps, they go hand in hand for me so I really need to knock this habit on the head.
We have a hol in 2 weeks but I’m going to calorie count until we go away in a bid to limit the damage then seriously sort myself out when we are back.
I’ve got a family wedding next year I want to look fabulous for. My problem is that I’m all or nothing so I need to find the balance
The comment about putting on 1lb a week is 4st in a year is terrifying.

@Daisy829

This thread has actually inspired me to realise I don’t want to let myself go! Currently 11.8 & really want to get down to early 10st. I’m 42 & like previous posters have said time isn’t really on my side to manage it. I’m too fond of wine & crisps, they go hand in hand for me so I really need to knock this habit on the head. We have a hol in 2 weeks but I’m going to calorie count until we go away in a bid to limit the damage then seriously sort myself out when we are back. I’ve got a family wedding next year I want to look fabulous for. My problem is that I’m all or nothing so I need to find the balance The comment about putting on 1lb a week is 4st in a year is terrifying.

I know just what you mean about all or nothing. I recently did a three week exclusion diet but Christ it was boring and so was I But I need to realise that all these things I love are so so bad for me in long run. Health and mental health

DS is 7 months and I’m 2 stone overweight (a stone over pre-pregnancy weight). I’m resigned to it at the moment and am buying cheaper clothes in a bigger size (thank god for Vinted).

I’m still breastfeeding and wasn’t one of those lucky people who lost all the weight breastfeeding. I think once I stop and the hormones are gone, I will hopefully lose a little.

In the meantime, I’m embracing my two dress sizes bigger body that is managing to successfully feed my boy, buying bigger jeans, moving as much as I can in the day and eating as well as I can.

@MaverickDanger I think that’s totally the right approach with a newborn. Your body is doing an amazing thing. My youngest is nearly 7yo so I have no excuse!

I hear ya. I'm 2 stone heavier than I want to be and like other people am struggling to find the motivation. I am 44 and need to take it in hand as I look dreadful

This is where I was a few months ago! My DS turned 9 months and started eating a lot more solid food and my weight started going up! That's when I decided to make some more effort with food and exercise. It's so important to give yourself grace. Buy the bigger jeans, take some time to make the changes.

Try swapping the crisps for airpopped popcorn with a bit of butter and loads of seasonings. I eat this about 3x a week with wine (account for the calories with a lighter dinner). Yum!

I've thought about it some more because I remembered that in September, when kids went back to school I felt very conscious about my arm fat and would rather wear a cardi & feel too hot than let people see it.
And I usually don't care what people think!

But after the Easter holiday I thought "sod it, I don't care to hide stuff. I'm fat and that's it"
I don't care anymore who sees what. So I guess I had given up on some level.
BUT I haven't given up on the idea of losing weight someday.

If that makes sense

I thought this during lockdown. I am old and my daughter said just give up mum so I did. I’ve yo-yo dieted all my adult life because I hate to be fat. I gained 2 1/2 stones very quickly and I had nothing to wear I couldn’t get in anything. I had to do a next day delivery on a skirt and some jeans from marks and spencers because the only pair of jeans that nearly fitted me, although a tight, had split.

I am now a month or so in and trying so hard to lose it. I’ve never been nearly this big and it felt like I was wearing a huge duvet constantly especially around my middle. It’s taking a lot of losing but I never ever want to be that big again. Being fat/overweight is definitely not for me but if you don’t mind the weight fair enough, nobody‘s business!

I've totally thought this recently!

Although il still be starting healthier eating/drinking in September as usual (I'm a teacher so September always has a new year's feel) I had a revelation on holiday in July that in 10 years time, il look back on photos of this holiday and think 'oh how slim and gorgeous I was!'. Just like I look back on photos from when my dd was a baby and I wouldn't wear a bikini because of a few faint stretch marks. I can't believe now that I thought so negatively about my tiny, flat tummy.

I've since had twins and a c-section leaving me with lots of sagging skin and a belly button hernia which although the extra weight doesn't help, I proudly wear my bikini at the beach now.

I drink too much and eat crap when I'm not focusing, so I do need to tackle that, but I'm setting myself tiny goals. My first goal is to not add any weight during these last two weeks of the holidays!

I believe it comes to you when you finally stop bashing yourself for not being a picture perfect VS model and let you just be you. Life is too short to be in constant fight with your own self over some perfect body and there are so many other things that bring joy. I'm not talking about falling down the rabbit hole of eating crap simple because 'Oh whatever I'm fat anyways so fuck it', it's mostly about accepting yourself and stop being so obsessed with reaching some ideals.

Around 50 I felt the same as you. Had been a size 8 for many years (only 5 foot tall) and just thought sod it a size 10 is not the end of the world. The follwoing year I was a 12 and the year after a 14. My DH said it didn't matter but I thought if it goes on like this I will gain a size a year and be morbidly obese by the time I retire.

I found the motivation and the 5:2 diet. I'm now 65 and am between a 6 and an 8

@Floralnomad

The problem with that approach is that you likely will just continue to put on weight albeit slowly and as you get older it gets way more difficult to lose .

It's the opposite actually. I essentially 'gave up' about two years ago. I have actually maintained my weight for the first time in my entire adult life for most of those two years. Granted, it's not a weight I should be, but you get the point.

I have yo-yo dieted for 20 years and I am still fat. There will be someone along in a minute to tell me I'm wrong, I haven't found the right plan yet and that I'm going to die of a heart attack I'm sure. But I'm just not putting myself through that bullshit anymore. It's funny how when you stop following everyone else's ideas and use your own, just how much easier life is. I exercise three times a week and eat three meals a day. I stopped binge eating for the first time in my adult life about 18 months ago too.

I've made peace with where I am.