Mutual support thread for those currently losing or working towards losing a lot of weight

[UntilYourNextHairBrainedScheme]

This is a mutual support thread for anyone who wants (and needs) to lose a lot of weight, is mid way through losing a lot of weight, or is nearing the end of a big weight loss and wants to continue to support and be supported as maintenance approaches.

The previous thread has been massively helpful to regular posters, as we share both our losses and our plateau or gains, congratulate or console, and talk about what works for us while understanding that different things work for different people, and we are all different ages, all have different families/ households/ people to plan around, different commitments, different working lives and different health conditions which partly determine our approaches.

We are all on this journey together - this thread is for us to encourage one another, post updates, chat about what we're doing, how we're doing, share stories and thoughts and sometimes wander slightly off topic if we want, but everyone posting should be somewhere along the journey towards escaping high BMI obesity.

The previous thread was started by someone who no longer posts and initially asked how to lose 9 stone - it developed into a support thread for people with varying amounts left to lose but all of whom started out with at least 5 or 6 stone + / 30 or 35 kg + to lose, very roughly...

No links to selling sites or unsolicited "helpful" lectures please - mutual support from existing and new posters all actually living this big weight loss now, or just starting out, welcome!

Previous thread here:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/weight_loss_chat/3894410-i-need-to-lose-9st-help

Hmm think sensible and grounded might cause anyone who knows me to laugh long and hard. And after my wise words yesterday I had seconds of dinner and a Mars bar, so Iclearly have some learning to do as well. So it’s back to basics for me, no snacking, no seconds, no sweets.
@MamaNewtNewt
On the plus side, I’m sorting my summer clothes today so giant mess everywhere, but stuff that was too small last year fits again, and that is good. It has occurred to me that smaller clothes means less storage issues. Can’t wait.
Hello again to @Fatcatthincat and @stuckanddesperate.
@ScottishBeth thrice is a lovely word.
@mama newt newt. glad the yoga went well. You reminded me that the daily abs exercises I started yesterday got forgotten this morning due to a cat vomiting situation. So, I will clear a space and do it.

Thanks for the welcome all. I’ve managed a day without snacks even if the meals weren’t perfect. I used to really enjoy yoga so that will be tomorrow’s target to do a yoga with Adriene but maybe not one as demanding as you @mama 😃

Another newbie if that's ok?
I'm 5' 3in and weight 13 stone - BMI 32. I'm very slightly built under it all, so I'd like to get down to 9 stone.
I've put on another stone over lockdown with the special love of wine, cheese and anything else from the kitchen if I'm bored!
I need some like-minded people who can help me stay motivated...

Welcome BrendaLee

Stuckanddesperate well done on your good day yesterday.

A lot of medium grade shit happened today in various areas of my life, work and personal, combined with being very sleep deprived post hardcore incident packed 20 hour late- night - early solo shift and a stupid weird 8 days and counting is it peri or is it weight loss or is it something else period... Felt really miserable all day. Lots of nagging worries about one child's health and another's pretty serious school issue and residents at work with worrying new developments and other systematic work shit.

Had a bath. Avoided refined sugar but ate 4 apples, a banana and two handfuls of nuts and am now on my third beer. Bah humbug!

@UntilYourNextHairBrainedSchemeA very restrained response under the circumstances enjoy the beer.

Zebracat thank you, I cannot tell you how much willpower was involved in not having a whole loaf of bread and butter... weirdly biscuits or chocolate felt like a crappy, tacky option but I suspect only because I've steared clear through pure willpower for almost a year. It's hard today through.. Some actual life-changing stuff has happened - not for me, which doesn't matter much at nearly 46 bit for DC3. I'm very upset on his behalf and feel some very personal, unfair decisions have been made which impact his entire life - I feel guilty about not having done things which aren't allowed but might have helped - I have a sense of injustice and guilt... I'm angry upset and feel responsible and that one individual has toomuch power... argh I can't explain except to a parent in the identical situation in Germany!

My little boy, my baby, my youngest, came home today distraught and I couldn't help him. He was completely proportional in his response and he only turned ten this week. The grades hisclass teachwr unilaterally decided to give gim today - at ten years and 7 days old - determined hid future and she has decided to gove him CCC instead of BCC - he's 10. This makes such a complete, indescribable difference I can't explain to people in the UK. Honestly I can't explain how fundamental this is - and how deeply personal because its discretionary...

My older children had grades entitling them to choose their future schools so DC3 is indescribably upset, especially because his geades sit exactly on the boarderline whete absolutely everyone knows teachers have full discresion.

He's distraught. Tbh I am too.
We are appealing but this involves 3 full 8 hour days of tesing, which I know isn't going to bring out the best in my stress sensitive DC 3.

Its public knowledge that primary schools have to aend at least 33% of Children to the unqualified schools but dc3 has a dyslexia diagnosis which we made sure he had so his spelling wouldn't condemn him. I feel so guilty and simultaneously so frustrated because I have given up so very much work time to his assessment and therapy, and I know that although he's not average he's astoundingly intelligent in some areas - not only is his vocabulary in both English and German more extensive than most native speakers of either language,but the ideas he had are more profound and well realised too...

I'm pretty upset and angry.

I feel your pain @UntilYourNextHairBrainedScheme. We had a similar nightmare here in Sweden with my DD. Teachers also do the grading here and they failed her for everything except English. We ended up having to move house to get her into a different school where the teachers were horrified. She went from failing everything to distinction in everything (apart from PE and Swedish) in just the few weeks it took the new school to assess her.

Hang in there. It feels overwelming while you're stuck in the middle of it, but you will get through it.

@UntilYourNextHairBrainedScheme I'm sorry to read about you and your son's difficulties. It seems like such a subjective decision for one person to make about a 10year old. I hope you manage to resolve it somehow.
A few apples, nuts and some beer is very restrained of you under the circumstances

Thanks - sorry about the rant yesterday - too much beer! I ate sliced ham from the fridge and two musli bars before I went to bed - why I still default to eating when I'm upset and stressed I don't know - deeply ingrained habit I guess

77kg this morning which is a small gain - was 76.5 earlier in the week and I had sort of hoped to be 75 point something, especially given it should be the week after my period which is usually a week I lose in ... Oh well, onwards and up/ downwards

Oh @UntilYourNextHairBrainedScheme, that would be very upsetting after a week in a spa, after a full on overnighted it would be impossible for anyone. I really dont think that you need to worry that your default is emotional eating. When we are really really tired and suddenly find ourselves dealing with something hard and an upset child, it’s actually really sensible to take on some fuel. I bet you did everything right last night and that you will sort this. And don’t feel guilty.

@ScottishBeth - that’s such a good approach to a small gain, not letting it derail you, just figuring out how to be next week.

@Zebracat - how are the exercises going? Do you mind if I ask what you are doing and how often?

@Stuckanddesperate - yeah I couldn’t do that session everyday, once a week is enough, but wouldn’t mind something more gentle daily. Will have to see the sessions you mentioned.

@BrendaLee - welcome to the thread.

@UntilYourNextHairBrainedScheme - sounds like you’ve had a tough time, hope things improve soon. Also rant away, the way I see it this thread is supporting each other to be healthy and that includes talking about the things that lead us to overeat or make less healthy choices.

I’m struggling this weekend. My calf is getting there but still not right and I’m currently laid up with a prolapsed haemorrhoid . After getting into the habit, and it really helping my mental health, I’m struggling with being so inactive and am craving exercise (a phrase I NEVER thought I’d hear myself say). I’m also just feeling sorry for myself and wanting comfort food, I’ve managed to stay off the sugar (I daren’t have any as I cannot do moderation with sweet stuff) but have been hitting the cheese pretty hard. Not looking forward to weighing in tomorrow, that’s if I can even stand long enough to weigh myself.

@MamaNewtNewt
I posted a link up thread. I can’t seem to Post it today, sorry. They are on YouTube as 5 abs exercises for women over 50, from something called, sickeningly, the Fit Mother Project. Insanely fit male doctor in a tight red T-shirt.. He says they take 5 minutes, take me about 20. But I am getting better, although I worry about my form. But I’m also doing a lot of front crawl. My body is starting to look quite firm, although sadly, still rectangular.. I want a waist!
Sorry that you have these health issues. They do sound grim. Will the haemorrhoid resolve itself and just pop back or will it require an intervention?
I get a lot of bad days with gout, so I’m trying to do whatever I can on the good days. I keep hoping that the diet and lifestyle changes Ive made will make the gout go away, but sadly hasn’t happened yet.
Oh and don’t talk to me about cheese. Dh and I have developed a costly artisan cheese habit during lockdown. Current favourite is Sharpham Rustic. I tell myself it’s easier to eat less if it’s really good, and I do weigh it. Try and limit myself to 50 grams a day, but left lunch too late yesterday and had 100 grams. I won’t do that again.

Morning everyone, I'm 84.3kg this morning. I'm happy with that loss.
Looking at my spreadsheet I can see that I've lost 25% of my original body weight and have lost 77% of the 40kg target I set for the year (I actually needed to lose 50kg but that seemed too overwhelming at the time and thought I'll deal with the last 10kg when I get there).
I'm very focused on getting under 80kg now, which will also drop my BMI under 30. I've promised myself a gorgeous skirt from Wrap when I get there (so I'm also saving up).
Wishing you all well today xxx

@alphaechokiwi well done, you have made such good progress.
I love Wrap, want to know which skirt now.
I am 96.7 which is a .3 loss and ok, but I hoped for more. I think I put every slip up on here, but of course don’t record the majority of days where I eat properly, do my exercises and just get on with it. Apart from a bit too much cheese 1 day, a snack size Mars bar and a small second helping of veggie curry, I did everything right this week. But of course looking at that now, it probably is 500 calories. Hmm I have nothing to whine about.

Good morning,

Stayed the same this week - still at 101kg.

Annoying when it feels like I have been trying all week but it happens.

The good news is I went for a walk last night for the first time in 18 days, and I have been doing planks and sit ups this week.

It's this one @Zebracat www.wraplondon.co.uk/fashion-ZB86-SMWDRSK/dresses-skirts/linen-maxiskirt.htm

I'm short, and it might totally swamp me, but I love the idea of it with a vest top and sandals for the summer. I'm guessing it will be 4-5 weeks before I dip under 80kg so perhaps there'll be a sale in the meantime 🤞.
Well done on your loss this week. I feel your frustration. Some weeks I do everything right and lose almost nothing. Other times it seems like I can get away with a few blips and still see a decent loss. Metabolism is a strange and wonderful thing! The important thing is that the direction of travel is downwards I suppose.
@Rebuildingconfidence - well done on the walking and the planks.... hopefully the scales will reflect your hard work soon. I've started to do some planks and strength training at home on the days I don't swim and while I don't think it contributes much towards weight loss, it does help with waist measurement, baggy skin and overall shape.

Love that skirt,Alpha. Lots of money, but if it works on you, you could wear it for ever. It is quite similar to a dress I got , reduced to about 20 quid in the H&M sale.
@Rebuildingconfidence. Well done on the walk and the planks. I’m doing them too and I hate it, but I can feel that it is working. I was desperate to be under 100 and it seemed to take forever, but it happened in the end. And now Im desperate to be under 95.

@ScottishBeth I've been thinking about your question everyday since you asked it. IS it a big deal if it takes a year? It sort of feels it but in the grand scheme of things probably not. My issue is taking a year to lose weight just to sit on a waiting list for potentially another year... It's a hard one! But your question has been helpful as it's made me address the reality of my situation. I need to get to grips that this isn't going to be quick, it probably IS going to take a year, and the sooner I come to terms with that the better my mental health will be, so thank you for asking, genuinely ❤️. I don't know anything about the adoption process, I bet it's so stressful! I hope it doesn't take too long overall for you and as I keep saying to myself, will be worth all the effort in the end!

I'm sorry to hear some of you are having difficult times. I'm very inspired by your ability to still care about how "on plan" you are considering as I really struggled with that before.

I weighed in today and have lost 1lb (which I think is about .45 of a kg..). In the spirit of accepting that 1lb is good enough, I've ordered myself a new book as a reward 😊
I'm also going to add in a few snacks this week where needed, to see if maybe I'm not fuelling myself enough 😬 Just things like...some pepper/carrot sticks with hummus and nuts on days where I'm doing a lot of exercise, at first and see how it goes. I feel really nervous about it, is that ridiculous??

My average calorie intake is actually only 1200 a week 😳 I thought it would work out closer to 1500 but apparently doesn't, I've never looked at the average before and assumed I balanced low days out with higher days. And I do an hour of exercise a day so I've really not been being kind to myself!

Oh well done @WeightlossKin. The other point is to maybe take a spreadsheet showing your weight loss to any appointments. Sadly medical professionals see how difficult it is to lose weight, and sometimes, I think, assume people will fail, but if you show your results, that is different. And a pound is great.

@Zebracat -I love that dress! Although that style of dress tends to make me look even shorter and wider.....Not flattering on my pear shape - hence looking at a skirt version. It is extremely spendy for a skirt but most of my wardrobe is from eBay, thrift+, or sales, so I don't feel too guilty about the odd splurge on something that should last for years.
@WeightlossKin - well done on your loss this week. I do think part of a successful weight loss approach is coming to terms with how long it will take. At the start of all this, I plotted a graph showing what a 0.8kg a week loss would look like over a year. I log my actual weight each week on the graph too. It's helped me come to terms with that frustration around the slowness of it all. I can see I'm on track and where I'll be in September if I just keep on doing what I'm doing....I like spreadsheets though. Another way to look at it is that a year or two will pass, whether or not you lose this weight, so what do you want to do with that time and where do you want to end up?. I sometimes find it helpful to think about what my future self would advise me to do right now.

I can't respond to everyone just now, but just wanted to pop on!

@alphaechokiwi that is a gorgeous skirt! What a lovely treat for you! Also your graph sounds like a really good idea. It is hard to come to terms with how slow weightloss is, but it's better to be realistic.

@WeightlossKin it sounds like you're doing really well. Well done on the 1lb this week. And yes, experiment with different ways of snacking and things. I think it can take a little while to find what works for you.

@Rebuildingconfidence it's frustrating when it feels like you've done so well, but it doesn't show in the scales. It won't always though. And the exercise is brilliant - well done!

In case it's helpful, here's my graph...

I can’t believe how close your weight loss is to your projection. My graph on my fitness pal looks like a very pointy mountain range.
I just got a message to update my BMI tracker. My BMI is 33, and I need to lose 25 kilos to get to a healthy weight. Feel a bit miserable and overwhelmed now. Shame because I was having a really good day.

Yes @Zebracat - it's tracking very closely. It tells me to just keep on doing what I'm doing and I'll keep moving along that line....a motivational tool I suppose.
I'm so sorry you are feeling a bit miserable. It can all get overwhelming sometimes. We're at a similar point - I'm shorter than you I think because my BMI is 31.7 and I have a 23ish kg left to lose to get to a healthy BMI. I don't like to think about how much is left much or what the timescale is. I try to focus on the moment....but it's hard when you're feeling good and something sideswipes you..... all I can advise is to maybe disable your tracker and try not to let it derail you. You've shown tremendous grit to get this far.... you've definitely got the right stuff to go all the way and to stay there xx

alphaechokiwi wow that is impressive and quite unexpected that the graph travks so closely! How did you know to go with .8kg per week before you started?

Zebracat I'd find the apps and tracking more likely to bring me down too, so i avoid such things like the plague! I wondered aloud about doing couch to 5k snd DH reminded me that I hate being told what to do - by technology as much as by people - and it'd make me irritated and defiant and I'd give up to spite it - all absolutely 100% true and would I'm sure be equally true of any kind of weightloss app! I'd delete it if it brings you down when you were having a good day! This is 95% a psychological challenge, as we all know...