Paul McKenna "I can make you thin" support thread

[Breathmiller]

I found out about this book and audio this week from another thread and poster (thanks @ppeatfruit) and am finding it useful.

I found an old support thread from years ago but I dont think its still active.

Does anyone who is interested in this want to chat and support?
Or anyone who has used it in the past with good results want to give hints and tips?

I have tried every diet going and have had real issues with yoyo dieting but my big aim this year has been to make food not such a battle.

I feel this might just be the way forward for me. But I'm aware I'm in very early days.

Ugh losing weight! Not loosing 🙈

@Breathmiller great to hear how positive this sounds. I’ll take this as my tip for today. Feeling a bit blue, so dark and depressing here and didn’t get out for a walk yesterday. But, I can’t change that but I will read my book at lunchtime!

@MariahLucas, it is utterly miserable here too. So depressing. I took the kids out for a walk before "school" this morning and we got so wet. I normally find a walk perks me up, but I just came home a bit cross and annoyed. The rain seems pretty never ending here at the moment. I've got the SAD lamp on and trying to stay upbeat, but I definitely struggle when there's no sunshine for weeks on end. Definitely need to get some music on today to try and cheer us all up here, and make myself a tasty lunch to enjoy!

Sorry to hear of the blues going around. It is such a relentless rollercoaster this lockdown malarkey isn't it?

I have been the queen of ticking things off this week. Home schooling going better this week. He definitely needs A LOT of support though. But some parts are really fun. We did art together yesterday and PE and health and well-being. I have to watch my patience levels when he's writing though. I was always a real pencils lined up on my desk kijd of gal and loved writing and making it all neat. His neatness levels for writing and just watching him struggle with it is painful. You know one of these things that just seem soooo easy to you that you can't quite get your head around how someone can make such a hash of it?! Digging deep for my smiley supportive face sometimes with a few moments of going out the room to silently scream into the ether. anyway, we are getting there. And I am now in working mode for the next few days so dh has taken over the role of teacher.

I've also started one of these apps for cleaning my house and i tick off jobs as I go along. And my walk/run, yoga, dance burst song . It's all go here.

We have snow again and due more tomorrow and I have an exciting trip out!! Woohoo. For my first ever mammogram!!! But hey, it's outside! In the real world! With other humans! Let's hope it doesn't snow so much that I can't get off the farm.

Food seems not to be such an issue. Just eating for fuel and enjoying every mouthful. Although I have been determined to use up all the food in my house so there hasn't been any treats to tempt me. Can i keep it going when the fridge and cupboards get stocked up again on Friday?
I'm going to say "Yes I can, because I can trust myself around food" 🤞 and hope that it sticks in there somewhere.

How are we all doing today?

I still haven't weighed myself but I am definitely seeing a difference. I have a big puffy winter coat and its always been a little tight, especially when I have my big warm hoody underneath. But today i went out with the hoody and the coat and it buttoned up no bother and felt much looser than it did at the start of winter.
I also fitted into a sports bra top yesterday that I hadn't worn in a while as it was uncomfortably tight.

And the great thing is I'm never hungry. I feel hunger sometimes but it's not something that I have to act in straight away. I am definitely recognising the difference between real hunger and emotional hunger. And if it's emotional I seem to be looking to other things to nourish me.

I do feel it has taken me a bit of time to get this. It wasn't an instant fix. But I do feel much lighter around food. And my attitude to my body has changed.

I finished the 21 days yesterday so restarted today. I do feel less hungry but don't have scales and don't think I have lost weight. I've still been eating a fair bit of chocolate which I still see as a reward type of food , BUT I feel better about myself and am being more active. Will definitely carry on and hope for more improvements.

That's great about the clothes fitting Breathmiller! I'm looking forward to getting to that stage! I hope the mammogram went okay, and glad home schooling is going well (although i feel you pain on sometimes having to go away and scream into the ether!) We actually finished ours just after lunch today, so managed to do some "arts and crafts" decorating a robot box thing DH made with the kids a few weeks ago and DS happily made random shit out of folded, chopped bits of paper for a while. We also had a break from the rain!! So had a walk and saw blue sky! Not much exercise today as i've been very achey, although i did manage stretches and some beginners yoga with Adriene last night, and will do some more stretches or something once the kids are in bed. Think I'll shove some tunes on while i finish cleaning the kitchen and try and get a bit of a boogie done. I'm definitely feeling more in control around food. Was a bit of a greedy gannet at tea today, but still don't feel overly full, and haven't had the urge for any pudding, so that's good. I just so hope this actually works. I'm definitely eating less, especially stuff like biscuits, chocolate etc, so "diet mentality" me is like "WHY AM I NOT THIN YET!!!" but i know i need to just let it take it's time and remember I am changing years of ingrained bad habits. Trying to trust that it will fall into place and the weight will decrease, slowly but surely. And goodness, i need to get on top of the house. I'm finding it a real struggle at the moment, with home schooling and DH working on a deadline, so he's basically never around to help. Just about managing to keep it from descending into "mega shit tip" :D
I hope everyone's having a good day

Hello! I'd like to jump on the thread with a question if I may? I'm on an iPhone 11 and so am a bit put off by reviews saying the app doesn't work properly on an iPhone. What's everyone's general experience? Really want to download it, but not if it doesn't work!

hi @DontBeShelfish, welcome!! I've got a new iPhone SE and it works find on mine, so i would imagine it would be fine for you

Welcome dontbeshelfish
Sorry, I can't help on that as I have a Samsung. Let us know how you get on if you decide to try it.

I hear you misskatamari on the inner voice saying why isn't this working quicker.

Ive actually just weighed myself and haven't lost anything since the last time I logged my weight on the 11th of December! I did do it after Christmas but didn't log it anywhere and can't remember what it was. Although i remember feeling the same and getting so hacked off I stopped it altogether and not only binged but stopped listening to the audio. That's when i downloaded the app.

But.. i am going to try not to let it make me downhearted this time. I know I didn't do it so well over Christmas so must have put on a bit then.
I am half a stone down from last summer.
And I do feel slimmer. I'm not sure exactly how if I haven't lost actual weight though
But this week I have seen big differences. Everything I have fits me better. In fact I just put my bra on and it went from the loosest setting easily into the next one in without me trying. Usually my bra is really too tight even at the loosest hole.
My clothes aren't as tight and I am running and exercising more and enjoying this way of eating and moving so it's obviously working in some way. I'm definitely changing shape. So I am going to keep at it and see what happens on the weight front but not go by it. Maybe I'm getting more toned with doing more exercise? I definitely feel stronger.

Apart from feeling a little (hopefully temporarily) downhearted by the scales I do feel so much better in myself in regards to food and body image so I'm in this for the long haul. Maybe its time to ditch the scales.

@DontBeShelfish hi, iPhone 11 works fine for me, just finished my session this morning.
It is lovely and bright here today so will try to close the laptop at some point and go for a decent walk. The pavements are clear and a lot of snow seems to have melted.
I’ve not been at my best this week but I don’t feel guilty (for the Ice cream) or that I’m going to sabotage myself on a constant basis, it’s a lifestyle change and it’s only the 3rd week of January
Sending you all unmumsnetty hugs for the weekend, let’s have a rest from homeschooling, work etc etc
I am aiming for a lie in tomorrow, but when that fails I’ll go out for a walk before I start the ironing!

Yes mariahLucas it's the weekend here. Half day on a Friday. Ds is currently ripping up this week's timetable with it all ticked off. And my laptop us switched off too. Yeeehaaaa!!
It's the weekend!

Thank you all - downloading it as we speak!

Lockdown has highlighted and exacerbated my problematic relationship with food, which stems from being pushed to clear my plate even when I was full as a child - it was very much feast or famine in our house, we were quite poor and so when we had food we were taught to make the most of it. White buttered bread with everything, including jelly!

Fast-forward to lockdown 1 and I quickly realised that I was using food as a means of controlling my feelings on the situation; I was shopping weekly, cupboards groaning with food, because it was something I could prepare for and regulate. Of course, we also hit up takeaways constantly and drank far too much.

Aside from pregnancy I'm the biggest I've ever been. All carried around my middle, and it's starting to cause me back problems. So am hoping this app will be the catalyst to major changes for me!

Great to have you on board dontbeshelfish a lot of what you say resonates with me too. Growing up with not a lot of money on a single parent family in the 70s I was also praised for 'eating well' and clearing my plate. White bread and butter with everything to fill you up. And clearing the plate and asking for seconds at free school meals was positively applauded. No money for snack though I suppose so meals were meals. I was also applauded for having the same gigantic appetite as my big brother. Until i became a teenager (a pretty troubled and neglected one) when I started to binge and put on weight. Then I was laughed at and berates for being 'fat' and a 'greedy pig'. I ended up with an eating disorder that nearly put me in a childrens unit. It has become apparent that my mum has her own battles with food and now in a home struggles to put on weight (dangerously so - she is scarily tiny) and has probably battled an eating disorder and definitely anxiety her whole life. So i don't blame her anymore. She had her own demons.
I do remember a few years ago when she was with it still having a conversation with her about how it was just as hard for her to eat more as it was for me to not binge. Two sides of the same coin. It was the first time ever there had been that clarity and understanding between us. I suppose when she has nearly been hospitalised for being so low weight I couldn't help myself form thinking "well- for God's sake woman! Just eat!! Its not hard!" But of course conversely she for years has been thinking about me "what's the problem? Just don't eat so bloody much. Its not hard!"
It just shows though that eating issues are never just about the food. So much more to unpick.

It's why i think this helps me so much more because of all the postive thinking behind the hypnosis. Once I start to like and appreciate myself more then I am much more likely to start treating my body better. And the voice of ' fat greedy pig' can just drift away.

Didn't mean this to be so in depth.

Good luck with it.

Sorry for huge rant at the beginning. I thought i had put paragraphs in

Also just checking in with how everyone is doing?

I had a Friday night binge last night and Saturday breakfast in bed of coffee and biscuits.

Well, not a binge as used to be. But still letting go of control of what I was eating. I think I need to do that on Friday still. I have stopped drinking now for nearly 6 months and its like my last bastion of old habits still lingering on - Fridays being my let go night. (And Saturday mornings too a bit). I didn't eat nearly as much as i used to but its interesting how i feel.

I don't feel good after my biscuit breakfast. I am really noticing that I don't respond well to lots of sugar. Something I hadn't noticed before.

@Breathmiller I'm sorry to read about your experiences growing up. It's very interesting to hear your ideas about your mum not being able to eat v your previous tendency to overeat. It's so true that food is such an emotional concept for many of us.
In relation to weight loss or not, I watched a TV show that Paul Mckenna did the first time I tried his plan. I don't know if it's still available to watch - it was over 10 years ago now. But he encouraged people to be guided by the way their clothes fit initially and not to be preoccupied by weighing themselves too often. I know that some people measure themselves - waist circumference, etc. Paul Mckenna might have recommended it on the show - I can't quite remember. It is possible to observe measurements being less before weight loss kicks in. That might be motivating for you?
The important thing is not to stop all the good work now. You are developing a new relationship with food. Your old relationship has lasted for a long time - you won't change it in just over a month. It will take time. But don't be discouraged.
You are motivating the whole thread here! So be kind to yourself and concentrate on how this new way of being around food is making you feel happier and lighter. You aren't imagining it - it is happening. Trust the process and learn to trust your body.
I am getting lots of inspiration from everyone on this thread, especially you.

I definitely identify with the "clearing the plate" metality growing up. I think it was definitely encouraged as being a good thing, and is just a habit from such a young age to do, that we've learned to override fullness queues from very early on. I'm really trying to make sure I don't pass this along to my kids, as I really hope they can grow up without the issues i have with food.

I totally hear you on the Friday night thing too @Breathmiller! I had a couple of glasses of bucks fizz last night, which instantly made me hungry, so i ate loads of crisps. Thankfully I don't drink often, so will aim to knock that on the head for a while, but I definitely have that "aagh it's finally friday, relax after the stress" feeling, which i usually have used binge eating food to deal with in the past. I was pleased though, as earlier in the evening I had a really down wobble, it had actually been a good day, and I'd had a catch up with my friend on the phone, but then i watched "the briefing" and just ended up thoroughly fed up. In the past I would definitely have just eaten my feelings, but i didn't yesterday, which is a big achivement i think.

Currently have some cookies baking, so will try and make sure to eat one mindfully if i want it after dinner (I'll ignore the "test" one i just wolfed down standing in the kitchen ). I made welshcakes for DH the other day and think i only had 2 out of the whole batch, so i'm feeling much more like I can have "treats" without having to mindlessly eat too much. Still haven't had a biscuit or chocolate bar since starting this, purely as i just haven't thought about wanting one, so something must be working at least!

@Duckdown that's a great reminder to do measuring. I remember doing Rosemary Conley years ago, and she had a "magic measure" thing, where you clipped on coloured clips for you starting size, and had moveable ones for as you slimmed, and it was amazing to see the inches going down! Really motivating, especially for times when the weight wasn't changing.

I hope everyone is having a good weekend. We've had a bit of snow here, and had a chilly walk. Most of my morning was spent batch cooking lasagna, which was knackering, but i've now got a stash for the freezer yaaaay! I love that eating this was means i can still cook and eat the meals we enjoy.

duckdown thank you. That was so lovely to read. And motivating. You're right...I feel slimmer, lighter and my clothes are definitely fitting better.

I am also finding other things to make me feel better ratherthan sitting on the sofa eating. More active things. We all went sledging this afternoon. It was so much fun..and trudging that sledge back up the hill was good exercise. But most of all, we all had fun. Even the teenager who has had a hard time lately with one thing and another.

Then home for a tofu stir fry packed with veggies. I had a small bowl and enjoyed every mouthful and was genuinely full after eating slowly. I do have some ice cream for later with cherries and raspberries but will wait and see if i am hungry for it. Everyone had theirs after dinner but i realised i wasn't hungry. So it was no hardship. If I'm hungry later and would like some I can.

Hope you are all having a lovely weekend. Thank you for all your support. I'm loving this thread

I hope my post wasn't triggering for you @Breathmiller! Please accept my apologies if it was - and it didn't read like a rant to me. I fully appreciated everything you said.

Today was my first day so I mindfully ate my breakfast and interestingly, was so full afterwards and had a tummy ache! Unfortunately I had my COVID jab earlier (NHS) and so have come home and wolfed down a pile of crisps as a reward.

Tomorrow is a new day!

@dontbeshelfish oh no! Not at all. Really. It didn't upset me, just got me thinking is all. I see my mum and how she was when I was younger with much more compassion these days and I have made peace with it all. I think it's how i can much more objectively look back and see where habits of mine formed without bitterness or blame. It has helped me to move on and do something about it.

So great to hear you got your vaccination.

Hi everyone
How are we doing today?

Today's thoughts....
I just did the self sabotage exercise with the two hands and I am finding it useful each time it comes up.

When I have done it in the last few weeks, I have felt like I have self sabotaged or binged with almost an angry fervour. And he's right, it probably comes from a place of "well, I'll muck it up at some point so I may as well do it now" mentality. And so, I took that word 'anger' and changed it to 'passion' and put that into my exercise. Put music on and just bloody run! In the same way I would fill my plate (and my face) and just "bloody well eat and eat and eat!"

Now, I really feel I have let that go. That feeling of angrily stuffing my face out of emotional hunger. But I am still over eating sometimes. Okay, much less than before but I wanted to explore why.

Then, doing the practice today I had a thought of why I had 2 bowls of snacks last night in front of the telly. I was hungry a bit but not really enough for the second bowl if I'm being honest (i deliberately used my tiny bowls and had half crisps and half healthier snacks but nevertheless...it was unnecessary) . So why did I have a second bowl?

I realised in my self sabotage practice today that it's because I liked the taste. That was all. I simply liked the taste in my mouth. It is a much gentler feeling than the anger/passion before but still, it wasn't eating due to hunger.

So I realised I could put the feeling of 'liking' the taste of that food to 'liking ' the feeling of losing weight and feeling good in my body.

I'm kind of reminded of Kate Moss' saying "no food tastes as good as skinny feels". But in a more healthy way. " No overeating of any food tastes as good as a healthy fit body feels"

It has dawned on me that even though this is taking time (longer than the quick fix dieting) it really is making long lasting changes. Even though i over ate a little last night I actually can't remember the last time I ate so much I felt uncomfortably bloated and sick.

I meditate daily and teach meditation. I am always telling my students just to stick with whatever focus we are working with the focus (the breath or a mantra - whatever) with no expectation of the outcome. And if we get distracted (which is natural) just come back to the focus with no judgement. I feel this is the same. I just keep coming back every day to the practices of this. Just listening every day and letting it do its work.

And it is working in so many ways. I am more positive, I feel better in myself, I am more active, I have more energy and I am much more relaxed around food. The fact my clothes feel looser is just an extra bonus.

Keep going everyone. Have a fab Sunday whatever you're up to.

Well done on starting @DontBeShelfish! I hope you're feeling okay after your jab, it must be a relief to have had it.

I think that's the biggest difference I'm finding with this way of eating @Breathmiller, the changing to mindset of it not being a "diet" but a way to actually, properly, change habits we have had for years and years. It feels like it's actually helping me to change the habits and thoughts etc that I've had for a long timed which have resulted in me being overweight, and I'm so hopeful that it will stick. I know that I just can't "diet" in the traditional sense of the word. When you struggle with emotional eating and binge eating, it just doesn't help. You use willpower for a while, be it days, weeks or months. But eventually I fall off the wagon and just go back to mindless eating and emotional eating. I feel hopeful that this might actually be changing that 🤞🏻. Just being able to feel free from emotional eating would be an amazing change for me, so even if I don't lose weight, I will be so happy to just be able to "eat like a normal person".

Thinking of meditation, do you have any tips for advice for people to make it a part of their day consistently? I guess it's making the decision to actually make time for it and make sure you stick to it.

Years ago, before kids, I used to go to a weekly meditation class at the local Buddhist centre, and I loved it. It's something I always mean to do, but then life gets in the way and another day has passed without actually finding the time to do some. I got a child friendly cd recently actually, as DD(7) kept having anxious freak outs, and I thought it might help. We've done it a few times, but I could aim to do it before bed with them nightly, and that might be a good way to start building the habit in. I'm sure they would both benefit from it hugely too.

I hope everyone is having a lovely Sunday. No new snow here but it's very cold and icy! I tried to have a walk this morning abs the pavements were awfully slippy, so I came home and sat in the garden to at least get some fresh air. Since then we've played lego and some computer games, so definitely having a lazy day here. Hoping to play a board game with dd now we've had lunch (we've got a lovely new one called Calico, where you great patterned quilts to attract cats, which is just so nice. It's for adults but we played the other day and Dd "got" it (and beat me!) so I think another play is in order). Happy Sunday everyone!

And thank you everyone for this thread. I'm finding it so helpful.

misskatamari
The cd sounds a good thing to do together. My ds9 and I have been doing just 10 minutes a day together as he's also a bit anxious. We put a timer on and sit and notice what's going on for us for a minute then just sit in peace for the rest of the first 5 minutes. Then we do some movement together. Again just 5 minutes. A mini sun salute then some warriors with affirmations (I am strong! I am brave. I am confident). It has really helped him.

But for your own practice, did you have a favourite meditation at the Buddhist Centre? 4 stages of mindfulness breathing? Metta Bhavana? Just sitting? Maybe you can recall your favourite one and use that. Or just sit with the breath as your focus and anchor.

Make it small to begin with. 5 minutes. 2 minutes even! But daily. And generally it's best at the same time each day. It creates the habit for the space.

I like to do my practice first thing, then it's not only done for the day but it sets me up for the day. I know that can be hard with little ones though.

Can you find a small space? It can even be as simple as sitting up in bed before you get out and being with the breath. Then maybe you can find a space in the house (I have a practice space in my attic room) that you can go and sit in for 5 minutes.

If you make your space a yoga mat then you are set up straight after meditation to do a few simple postures.

But I would start with finding 2-5 minutes at a similar time and space every day to focus on the breath. Then a longer practice may just evolve in that space naturally.