Being healthier rather than weight loss focused

[aspiringnurse]

After nearly two years (had my DS August 2018) and constantly battling between wanting to lose weight, starting slimming world, losing some then putting it back on.. over and over again.. I have now tried to be more focused on being healthy rather than focusing on the weight loss (I am still unhappy with my weight but I feel like I need to step into a healthier mindset before thinking about it anymore) ... what steps can I do to be generally healthier in body, mind and overall?
I feel like all I do is go through the same vicious cycle of being upset, restricting myself then bingeing, then getting upset again and going through this over and over again..
I would ideally just like to fit into my summer clothes which fit when I was half a stone lighter than I am now

If anyone has any tips please share them!

I know exactly what you're saying. I feel like I've always been on a diet, but end up bingeing and gaining more than I lose each time. I am taking a different approach to it this time, which I'm documenting on a thread in the calorie counting section.

I'm using myfitnesspal and have set my calories to be only a small amount under what I would have to eat to maintain. Rather than cutting down to a small amount, or telling myself I can't have certain things, or counting syns or points, I'm eating what I want but sticking to those calories (if I ate any more I'd be gaining weight so I have to learn to stick with these calories).

As this week is going on I'm finding myself fancying better foods, and I'm eating decent meals but nothing is not allowed. I'm picking up what my bad habits are and why I'm overweight (snacking) and this will be something I work on slowly.

My weight loss will be very slow (but I've been on a diet for 17 years already, what's an extra 12-18 months?!) but if I want to speed it up a little I move more rather than eat less. I mean it's only been a matter of days, but usually even by this point in a diet I've 'blown it' or had an 'off plan day' whereas this week I'm genuinely enjoying planning my meals, especially knowing that I'm not cutting anything out.

I'm hoping that this means I will eventually make better choices naturally and will be healthier in the long term.

I feel the same. I’ve spent years controlling what I can or can’t eat and have only ended up heavier! I was just about to start yet another diet to lose the same weight I’ve been wanting to lose for 30 years (which I then gain back again plus a little bit more...) when a friend gave me ‘The Fuck it Diet’ book to read. It points out that for the vast majority of people diets don’t work and you just end up with an unhealthy relationship to food whilst messing with your body’s natural weight set point and metabolism . So for the past couple of weeks I’ve tried to eat intuitively instead ie Eat what I want when I‘m hungry. I cook from scratch and naturally eat 16:8 anyway as I don’t usually feel like breakfast. I run three times a week, do strength training exercises and walk everywhere. I am hoping that my body finds its ‘natural’ weight in time which might not be as slim as I once was - or would have once liked to be - but I am looking forward to having a kinder relationship towards food and my body.

I find this tricky too. One of my favourite foods / snacks is pecan nuts, but they are phenomenally high in calories, more than chocolate. I prefer them to chocolate and tell myself they're probably better for me but I can't out argue the calories!