Why can't I stick to anything?

[Psychologika]

For context: I'm 36, 5'8" and weigh 115kg. I've only become overweight in the last 3 years (combination of divorce and giving up smoking). I've always been at BMI of 23 for my whole adult life up until then.

I hate how I look, I really want to get back to being healthy, but I just can't do it. I've started many different ways of eating (low carb high fat, 5:2, intermittent fasting, calorie counting etc), and I can't stick to anything beyond about 3 days. I'm of the opinion that any of these things will work, as long as you're consistent so it's not about finding the perfect diet, as it were.

Why can't I do it? I'm miserable and it's impacting on my mental health, but I just can't do it. I eat too much of everything and drink a bottle of wine a night. I have given up the wine in the past but find myself replacing it with more food, so the impact on my weight has been zero.

I'm now so overweight that it just feels like losing it all will be impossible. How do I find the motivation?

I suppose it depends on the calories in the food OP. It's probably still far fewer than on a bottle of wine plus snacks.

You can develop a strategy to sort this out, but first you need to really want to.

@onlinelinda I agree.

@lazylinguist i need to think of something else I enjoy...hmm

Update: I've not drink any wine since I wrote the initial post, which I'm pleased about! Not really missing it! Will hopefully make some more changes gradually

Also a single mum who looks forward to that bit where work is done, kids are in bed and my reward is wine and nibbles. I literally double my calories for the day in about 90 mins before bed. OP, when I'm in the zone and doing well I substitute wine for weak g&t or just T if I'm really in a good mood. Fentimens flavoured ones are really nice.. Its about having something different than what you've been drinking all day so it feels like a treat. I try to keep my hands busy with jigsaw, craft, knitting or something.. That really helps.

Well done on ditching the wine op.

If you need some motivation I find trying on an item of clothing that is one or two sizes too small helps you keep your determination.

If it helps, I had a severe word with myself a few weeks ago and said to myself that if I couldn’t lose weight in lockdown, I never would. This is because I can’t go out, so there’s no tempting cakes in Starbucks, no kids’ parties to go to, no nights out or meals with friends. Literally zero temptation.

So I’m low carbing. I like it because it’s easy (there’s only one rule) and it stops my cravings completely - I’ve watched my kids eat Easter eggs every day this week and barely been tempted.

I’ve tried every diet I can think of and can’t stick to anything, I have 16 stone to lose and I’m worried about my health if I don’t lose weight ☹️

Sharon, you’re among friends. Do you truly have to lose 16st? If so, I think your GP should be involved in this?

Yes I feel so ashamed to say but yes I do have 16 stone to lose 😭 I’m 30 and have 3 little kids

Have you see a health care professional?

Very well done OP. You can do this.

Following with interest as I am in the same boat

Psychologika yes I regularly see my gp due to anxiety and she just told me to go join a slimming club

@Sharon89 what do you think it's getting in the way for you?