How to lose half my bodyweight in two weeks?

[fairynick]

Okay maybe not. But I go on holiday two weeks today and fatty over here has done such a poor job of diet attempts over the past few months.
I know weight loss should be about a health and fitness journey, but no time for that anymore.
I would love to lose 8lbs in two weeks. Probably unlikely but does anybody know any stupid crash diets that could get me at least most of the way there?
(Also, yes I know this is unhealthy and yes I know it will mainly be water weight lost but I am DESPERATE)

I do 5 :2 and if I want to up weight loss I go to three fast days. For a fortnight you could do alternate days.

What has worked for you in the past?. I know slim fast and meal replacements are a no go for me but if it is only for 2 weeks you might manage.

Low carb with intermittent fasting is probably your best chance. Or the 800 diet.

Ooooh alternating days is a really good idea thank you!!
I've tried a few things in the past, and low carb is definitely the best way for me.

Not sure if I'm familiar with the 800 diet, I'll look into it, thanks!

Or alternatively, Dukan works well?

Myfitnesspal - plan your day's food the day before.
If possible, prepare parts of your meals for a few days at a time, so you don't spend ages every day preparing food - it doesn't take much longer to prepare 3 day's worth of chicken portions/potato salad etc, than it does to prepare 1 portion. Store it in the fridge in tubs. Much easier (I've only just started doing this - lightbulb moment, honestly!)
No added sugar, if at all possible. If you really can't cope without a sweet treat, have a small one, make it a proper treat, and really enjoy it. Don't just wolf it down because you're hungry. Sweets aren't food. Eat more fruit if you want something sweet.
Also, try not to eat white anything processed - bread, pasta, rice. Eat wholemeal, or find an alternative.
Also, if you can, exercise. Short bursts of intense activity are better than an hour on the treadmill. But, having said that, do try to increase your general activity levels too - try to increase how much you walk generally.

I have been trying to lose the last of the baby weight for several weight for years, literally, & it's only since I've been doing this that I've started losing again.

Hahahahhaha, at this point I'm considering all options!

Right I'm off to Tesco to get lots of boring lettuce and chicken, going to make a giant salad now for my lunches for the week. Then probs chicken and some sort of veg, maybe sweet potato for teas. Thanks so much!

I lose approximately an extra 2 lb if I do 2 fast days in a week. But not if I do them every week, my body seems to get used to it, & it becomes less effective, it seems very unfair.

Cabbage soup diet?
You'll no doubt be farting for England, but it might be worth it for a quick fix.

Jillian Michaels intense week workout (sorry can’t remember the name) promises to make you drop a dress size & loose 7 pounds in a week - two workouts a day combined with diet. It worked for me! It goes back on again, it’s not designed to be sustainable but it does work for a short term goal

Bear in mind that if you lose loads of weight in the next couple of weeks it will mostly be water and go back on when you're on hols if you're eating and drinking normally.
I would suggest (also) doing some exercise daily so you feel better about yourself, and looking after your skin - daily body brushing, moisturising etc.
When I see plus size models nailing it in bikinis they all seem to

• have great skin
• hold their heads up and move with confidence
• smile
• have hair done, nails painted or at least manicured, lippy on
• if white, have a bit of a tan.

I just lost 8lbs 1 oz in 2 weeks. 1200 calories max, faithfully logged in MyFitnessPal. Moderate carbs. V little exercise tho- it actually makes me hungry then I binge...
Mainstays of my meals are: Chicken, salmon, boiled eggs, big green salads with low cal vinaigrette or light light mayo, bone broth, raspberries, 5 calorie jellies (bleughhh but needs must), Activia 0% yoghurts- vanilla add your own cinnamon) and far too many coffees with lacto free milk.
Was surprised by scale of weightloss and expect it to settle to 2lbs max per week from now on.

And exercise! Lots of exercise, you can easily burn through the calories if you walk, swim or bounce (I love my mini trampoline)

600 calories an hour burned up on a mini trampoline.

Keto or Atkins induction would get 8lb off. No exercise required whatsoever. Carbs kept below 20g - basically I would eat meat/fish/omelette and salad/green veg for two weeks if I wanted 8lb off

www.jaduncan.com/2006/04/how-i-lost-stone-in-week.html

You likely won't lose a stone in a week but it'll definitely kick start your weight loss. I think the "chemical properties" part is bullshit, it likely works because it's very low cal, but it's a nice short easy to follow plan and not (totally) miserable.

I’m in a similar position. I go to Australia on 16th June. I’m just being strict with MFP (1200-1350 cals a day). I’m running every day, sometimes twice a day. I also have four spin classes booked in, and will go on walks too. I’ve lost 2.7 lbs in 3/4 days.

I’ve previously done the 800/blood sugar diet and lasted 3 days but if you can stick to it it’s worth it.

Good luck x

I lost a stone in 2 weeks on exante, am not convinced it's sustainable long term but was effective as a short term fix.