Will I ever lose my hanging gut?

[foreverhanging]

I have decided that enough is enough - since becoming pregnant in 2016 I appear to have put on 4 odd stone and it's getting worse. I am going to join a gym - I can do healthy eating etc but I don't think it's enough so I'm hoping the gym will give me an edge to help me lose it and keep strong.

I used to be beautiful (albeit still curvy with big hips) but now my boobs are tennis-ball-in-socks-like and I have massive stretch marks on my enormous legs, fat arms at the top, huge hips, a double chin and worst of all a hanging belly which I just wonder if it'll ever go ? I'm not sure how my skin can stretch out to the disgusting awful shape I am now and then go back even if I lose the weight - surely I'll be left with a hanging bit?

I’m recommending him constantly but consider joining James Smith Academy. There’s an unlimited free trial and if it’s for you, there are standard and premium options for membership. The premise is move as much as possible - 10k steps a day every day and stay in a calorie deficit (there’s a calculator for you to work this out) and hit your protein target. There’s no such thing as cheat days and no food is off limits, you’re just becoming accountable. The support group is amazing. People of different shapes and sizes with different goals all spurring each other on to succeed.
You don’t have to sign up, I’m not affiliated in anyway so gain nothing, but just look at the website and give it a go.
It’s changing my life and my opinion of myself. I’m learning to love myself because of it.

I really feel confused as to what the best thing to actually do is? Diet? No diet? No sugar? No meat? Gym or no gym? The information is so confusing.

Weight is predominantly down to what you eat.

I would use MyFitnessPal stick to non processed foods and the balance of carb/protein/fat. Eating lots of refined carbs increases your sugar cravings.

More exercise will be good for you but don't rely on it to lose weight for for health/fitness.

Hello. Can I join the chat. I've gradually put on weight after children and am now 5 stone overweight. I'm by far the biggest of all my friends/colleagues and I hate it. I need to do something. I've started c25k which I'm doing very slowly but it's so hard. My dc have ASD so I'm very tired with sleep deprivation, stress and I comfort eat so much.

Hi @Didiplanthis of course. It's such a struggle. I wish I was a naturally thin person!

Ive never been naturally thin, even when really fit and active (And young) I was a good size 14. I've been thinner than that but it's always been really hard work and unsustainable. My DM has always had issues with food having been a fatter child but has been a skinny adult who barely eats and constantly comments on my size/food choices etc. My MiL is a size 4. Never comments directly about me but has always going on about other fat people she knows with derision It doesnt help ! I get so sad about it. I know I'm the fat mum on the playground. Although I had a bit of a break through today when I went and my c25k (in a very quiet park) wearing running leggings as it's so hot for joggers and was able to think f**k you to anyone that might judge me for it. I decided they'd complain more if I was naked !!!

Op DO NOT DIET and for gods sake don't buy any scales, you at at risk/have an eating disorder. Sort out your feelings about yourself first. You say you were wheats mocked and felt like the fat ugly one, you need to work in this and realize you are not. Yes your body has changed and yes you don't feel like you, but unless you learn to like yourself you will carry on punishing yourself by destroying your body by binge eating.
Do not listen to the pushers promoting diets. Diets DONT work. Each diet you try and fail the more you self loathing you will have.
I was always the fat ugly sister and I grew up with my mum and sister constantly on diets, I will never be thin enough. I've been under weight and over weight at the moment I'm a bit over weight but I'm learning to like myself and I'm trying to nourish my body with fruit and veg but I'm still not putting any foods off limit because I know I'll binge if I do!

I'm a mess. I swing between wanting to never eat again to eating loads when I do? How do I get help for this? Surely a GP would laugh me out of the door.

You need counselling/therapy. You can asked to be referred by your GP it depends what services your area offer.

The eating is a symptom of your depression/unhappiness so focus on that your still not over your PND and don't feel like your self and that you are comfort eating and full of self loathing.

Do they specialise in it or do they just send you to talking therapy? I had talking therapy before but I felt that it was useless

Who are "they"?

I am no specialist, so you may want to check this advice, however:

My understanding is, that for weight loss, your best bet is a LOT of low level exercise (eg walking). You burn calories around 3 times faster while walking than you do while resting (as opposed to gym-type exercise where you're burning it at 6+ times normal rate). The difference is, high intensity exercise leaves you tired, hungry, and therefore less likely to be able to resist re-consuming the calories you've just burnt. Whereas a long walk might burn similar amounts of calories, but leave you less exhausted and hungry, and therefore it's easier to stick to a diet that leaves you in slight calorie deficit.

The trouble is of course, finding the time to do all the walking. Good luck

With talking therapy "not helping" it could have been a few reasons:

It wasn't the right time/you weren't in the right place to do it

It wasn't the right person/you didn't gel

It was too short and you hadn't built a relationship with the therapist where you were open/honest or never made it to the underlying reasons of how you feel about yourself

It was only meant to be a short term fix to get you through the worst of PND.

Truly if you don't address the emotional reasons for over eating then feeling good about yourself isn't going to happen I'm sad to say.

I 100% agree with RandomMess. If I were you Op I'd revisit the Gp.

I don't know random. I don't know what I'm talking about.

I do know why it didn't work before, several factors:

• therapist didn't remember who I was each week and I had to tell her from the beginning each time
• I would tell her what I was feeling and she would dismiss it saying 'everyone feels like that'
• she would just hand me the same leaflets every week and say 'sorry I don't have any leaflets about confidence'
• I felt like I couldn't tell her exactly how I felt (wished I was dead, unsupported, crying all the time)
• had 11wk + old dd with me and had nobody to have her and she would cry or feed or fuss and I wouldn't remember what I was saying

I put on 4 stone when I was pregnant and I lost it but it didn't happen overnight.
Well done for joining the gym , you will reap the benefits- time to yourself, exercising helps with your self esteem and mental health also.
Eating healthier can only be a good thing, focus on how well and energised it makes you feel.
You'll get there with the weight loss but see it as a marathon rather than a sprint!
ps while all this healthiness is going on you start to feel so much more positive you will hardly notice the physical things that are making you feel so down at the moment!

Well definitely see someone else, the person you saw was utterly awful and probably made you feel worse!!!!

@RandomMess I'm in a completely different area 2 hours away now so hopefully I'll have a better experience here

I really hope so, don't think it could be worse!!!

Hopefully your GP/PCT will have a good service, start saving up in case you need to pay privately.

“Do not listen to the pushers promoting diets. Diets DONT work. Each diet you try and fail the more you self loathing you will have. “

^this is hilarious. Pushers promoting diets? Changing your lifestyle to healthy eating and cutting out crap is hardly diet pushing. Everyone is trying to be supportive to the OP and help her achieve her goal.

I’ve seen no live off maple syrup alone for months on end or stop eating. Just eat healthier.

Despite making excuses for many years it really as simple as eat less calories and move more.

You need the same weight of chocolate and crisps for your body to be full as you do Brocolli. However the Brocolli doesn’t have the same results on your weight!

I've been healthy today and I'm hoping to carry it on. I agree my problem is the emotional side of it. If I didn't feel so shit about myself all the time I would be less likely to binge on bad things. If I can manage my feelings any other way than eating I'm sure I'd be ok.

Key for me is not having the treats in the house and not drinking alcohol because then I binge on chocolate, crisps, anything really!!!

I know it sounds patronising but be grateful for your body.

Try your best too anyhow.

Ah I never drink so that's never been my problem. It's just the eating