Will I ever lose my hanging gut?

[foreverhanging]

I have decided that enough is enough - since becoming pregnant in 2016 I appear to have put on 4 odd stone and it's getting worse. I am going to join a gym - I can do healthy eating etc but I don't think it's enough so I'm hoping the gym will give me an edge to help me lose it and keep strong.

I used to be beautiful (albeit still curvy with big hips) but now my boobs are tennis-ball-in-socks-like and I have massive stretch marks on my enormous legs, fat arms at the top, huge hips, a double chin and worst of all a hanging belly which I just wonder if it'll ever go ? I'm not sure how my skin can stretch out to the disgusting awful shape I am now and then go back even if I lose the weight - surely I'll be left with a hanging bit?

my dh keeps buying takeaways for dinner I'm so fed up of eating my healthy stuff on my own or him eating what I eat and then sitting in front of me shoving down crisps and chocolate. It's really getting to me. I obviously can't control what he eats but I feel like it's really cruel to eat it in front of me ?!

Tell DH to eat crap etc at work. Tell him you need his support that you want to do this to feel better about yourself.

Don't buy crisps/chocolate to have in the house!

Could you afford to see a counsellor/therapist because you've said it's emotional eating and linked to your self worth?

Perhaps your best approach is talking therapy, healthy eating and only weigh yourself once a month? Just focusing on not comfort eating and finding another means to deal with "stuff"?

I'm not sure I can afford it really :( I'm really embarrassed as well. places I found are £50 a session so there's no way I could pay that.

I told him tonight I'd rather he stayed out and ate and then he came home and ate what I had cooked instead so maybe this is the way to go.

If he can afford all these take away etc then there is some spare funds to put to better use

True @RandomMess

I'm having a bad time. I'm in tears again this morning. I just don't think it's ever going to work. I hate myself. I hate what I look like. I'm an embarrassment - I can't believe my husband is still with me. I'll embarrass my poor little girl. I've just been on a holiday and I was embarrassed all the time and didn't want any pictures. I used to be so lovely. I tried to put a dress on today that fit me last year and it was so tight and looked like a top. I was spilling out everywhere. I am such a disgusting fat pig I can't stand myself

Is anyone there?

I'm here but my advice is the same you need to deal with how you are feeling about you

No advice but I feel the same. I put on a lovely summer dress I bought (3 sizes bigger than my pre pregnancy size) and my inner thighs chafed so bad they are all
rashed and hurting 😥

I'm sorry I haven't read the whole thread but is it comfort eating that's holding you back! Xxxxxxx

Slimming world, weight watchers, slim fast etc, all of those are fad diets and people put the weight back on - believe me, I yo-yo’d for a decade. I then did Joe Wicks 90 day sss plan and I’ve lost 2 stone and kept it off.

The food is healthy and home cooked and the workouts are less than 30mins and you can even do them from home on days you can’t get to the gym.

As for the skin, you might have some loose skin or you might not. Lose the body fat and see what you’re left with. I had loose skin on my stomach (hanging gut) and I had it surgically removed in December.

Oh OP, for you. You CAN do this. It’s one day at a time. Down worry about tomorrow or the day after because it’s not here. Just worry about today’s diet abs exercise. The days will soon rack up and you will feel different.

Hi Op, you are not a disgusting fat pig, you are not an embarrassment.
You are beautiful and are going through a blip. You should never think of yourself that way. Stop dieting! Stop dieting now! Have you read how to eat like a normal person? Google it. It's a webpage. Very interested reading. Have you read/heard Paul McKennas I can make you thin? You need to work on what's in your head, not your tummy. You are like me, I binge eat, I feel like a fat pig a lot. I'm learning to value myself. I buy myself nice clothes and make up. I'm not the same size I was 3 years ago, I've put on 1 1/2 stone which makes me feel just as horrible as you do but I'm learning to like myself and if I like myself I'll treat myself better. No binging because that's all I'm worth.

Here's some screen shots, it's interesting reading and MAY help you understand yourself better. There is NO quick fix but what needs fixing is in your head.

I’m so sorry you feel like this. You aren’t a fat pig. You grew and gave birth to a baby. Your body is amazing and there is no way you are an embarrassment to your daughter. She loves you and (if she is any thing like my children) will think you are incredibly beautiful even on your least beautiful day.

I second the Paul McKenna, I did it about 15 years ago and since then haven’t dieted or thought about food in the same way. I lost weight gradually and it never went back on. I’m far from perfect and would always would like to be a bit more healthy and toned, but I don’t feel the same disgust for myself or have obsessive thoughts about food anymore. I really recommend it.

@Gunpowder I'm glad you agree, diets are the worst thing for you as you will fall of of the wagon and then the hatred for yourself will increase. If diets worked there would've be a diet industry! They only make your self loathing 100x worse.

Your description of yourself is so extreme I really wonder if you did reverse everything would you still be happy? How feasible is it to "succeed" with how you currently feel about yourself?

Did you grow up with people critical about weight/looks? Do you feel you have lost yourself by becoming a Mum?

I just think by sorting out whatever the emotional issue is you will then succeed in getting fitter and slimmer whereas at the moment it feels like you are setting yourself to fail?

I am totally with you! My youngest Ds is 7 and I have a huge 7 stone to shift. I have half heartedly tried various things over the years and I have given up.
A couple of months ago I had my realisation that I needed to change. I started making small changes like drinking a minimum of 2 litres of water a day.

Then we joined a health club, it is family orientated so I have no more reasons not to exercise. They have a crech and kids clubs so whilst my DC have fun I can work out. I have been every day except 1 when I was working and this weekend as I have been unwell.

Maybe finding a class or group that you can do with your toddler may help? I have found for me the biggest thing is not to restrict foods or say no to certain foods. As that just sets me up to fail.

You can do this and you will just take small steps.

Great advice FoddyWaddle.
"Maybe finding a class or group that you can do with your toddler may help? I have found for me the biggest thing is not to restrict foods or say no to certain foods. As that just sets me up to fail."
And the more you fail the worse you will feel about yourself, until the next diet fad comes your way.

Hi all. Thank you for responding to me. I've had a bad few days. Lots of tears and unhappiness. I know I need to work on myself - I don't know where to start with it at all. I'll have a look at the website suggested - thank you for that.

My mum is a very small person who eats like a bird and often brags about not eating all day etc. My Nan used to grab my stomach as a teen and say I was getting fat. My dads nickname for me as a child was 'ugly'. And I once walked into a conversation of school friends calling me the fat one of the group (I was nowhere near fat at that point) so I've had it from several sides I guess.

It's hard to stop the voice in my head constantly shouting at me.

I've definitely lost a bit of myself since having a baby. It wasn't so much the baby but the pnd. I lost a lot of myself in that time. I'm trying to claw some of it back - going to the gym and life drawing sessions. Attempting to be me but I just don't feel the same anymore I guess. I almost feel like pnd has flattened me a bit? Does that make sense.

I don't know if I can do any exercise classes with my toddler - she's uncooperative at the best of times haha. I haven't seen any advertised in my area but I could try and search again. Most things are for people with little babies.

I lost a lot of baby weight by ditching the car (it was a company car, so saved on tax and on fuel - it wasn't very economical and we had to pay for personal fuel.), and walked everywhere. We went for a walk every afternoon. Is that something you could try?

Have recently done 3 stone loss after 2 dc and Mmc.

The gym is no good to you unless you get the eating under control

For years I used to eat more because I’d exercised.

Only when I cut out refined sugar totally did the weight come off easily. (40s)

I realised how wrong I had got it for the last 15 years!

For me the biggest benefit is the better moods and more energy. The endorphins in the gym are great but putting less in (and none of the bad stuff) was the best lesson learnt.

Good luck!

And for me getting a weighing scales that measured 1/4lb worked weighing myself daily. Even if this was the only amount to come off I could see what I was doing was working.
I read about a study that showed how effective daily weighing was as apprised to weekly weigh ins where you are trying to ‘beat the system’.

I still love a binge and dump the food rules for all holidays and every sunday!

Oh and this helped me a lot! Do this everyday you don’t get to the gym.

Everybody can spare 7 minutes!!!

m.youtube.com/watch?v=ECxYJcnvyMw

You can do this!