Will I ever lose my hanging gut?

[foreverhanging]

I have decided that enough is enough - since becoming pregnant in 2016 I appear to have put on 4 odd stone and it's getting worse. I am going to join a gym - I can do healthy eating etc but I don't think it's enough so I'm hoping the gym will give me an edge to help me lose it and keep strong.

I used to be beautiful (albeit still curvy with big hips) but now my boobs are tennis-ball-in-socks-like and I have massive stretch marks on my enormous legs, fat arms at the top, huge hips, a double chin and worst of all a hanging belly which I just wonder if it'll ever go ? I'm not sure how my skin can stretch out to the disgusting awful shape I am now and then go back even if I lose the weight - surely I'll be left with a hanging bit?

Having a real down day today.

I've been everything from a size 12- 22 to around a size14 now, but i've stopped weighing myself and focus on other values such as the distance i can run . I'm a huge comfort eater and went off the rails yesterday.But you pick yourself up and go again. I don;t ban foods altogether as that would make me crave it more.You need to find what works for you.

I can understand the depression and I've been in private therapy for the past 2years and 4 months. It's something that really helped with the self loathing. I know it doesn't come easy but you are still valuable whatever your size, being glamorous and skinny isn't everything.

Accept where you are right now. It's possible you change your body but go slow. I used to go to the gym for a month then drop out because I had an all or nothing mentality, and expect myself to go everyday day from the word go but consistency is something that really works. I set a goal of three days a week, if i go more that' a plus. What are somethings you enjoy?

I'm hoping to go to the gym 2-3 times a week. I've been trying to calorie count which has been going well except Friday night I had my first night out since September so I had some wine and then yesterday I had some food at a party and then my mum made a roast so I had that and then some chocolate :( when I go off the rails I really do it spectacularly

I fell off the wagon today. But my breakthrough is that, rather than thinking I can’t do this, I need to accept it as part of my process and move on. It will slow me down but I’ll still get there.

I fell off the wagon badly st the weekend but weighing today I've lost 1.5lb!

How are you doing now OP?

I'm sticking to it. I went to the gym last night but I appear to have hurt my knee which is a shame. I also feel ill but I think it's toddler germs doing that. I'm really trying so hard. I've got this hen do and I'm getting upset trying to find clothes for it and wishing I could get out of it !

I’ve just ordered a book called have cake and skinny jeans too. It’s about hunger directed eating, and I’ve seen loads of people raving about it. Also will join a gym soon. I’m 1stone above my ok weight but ideally could do with losing 2stone.

Posted too soon. I’m hoping it will help me get out of the all or nothing mentality.

I saw that book sparkle, my problem is that actually I'm an emotional eater and I'm pretty certain I'm close to a binge eating disorder which is why I would be worried about doing a hunger directed eating because quite frankly sometimes I have no idea if it's hunger, thirst or I just feel sad or stressed or emotional.

Remember to play the long game, you are making lots of changes to your lifestyle and some will work for you and some won’t. Diet is definitely more important for weight loss so have fun with the exercise and see what works for you.

I think What is motivating you is very important. In a he past I have gone to the gym and worked away at the treadmill but my motivation has been self hate and ultimately it was like a form of punishment and I never enjoyed it. However same exercise (running) with the motivation of completing a run and raising money for a charity I cared about and I actually enjoyed working towards my goals.

Lucked you are totally right. I've always hated myself, but it's ten times worse now. However I always feel happier after going to the gym so I don't find it as much torture as I thought. I used to go every day for 1-2 hours when I was about 24 - I was so gorgeous but I thought I was disgusting. I look at pictures now that I am actually fat and I just kick myself. What an idiot! I also find it sort of doubles up as some me-time which I've basically not had for nearly 2 years since dd was born.
My diet is usually very good, I LOVE vegetables and fruit, it's just that I also love loads of cheese, chocolate and milky coffees which I have on top of the healthy stuff. I'm not stopping myself from having them, I'm just trying to cut down and I am finding that calorie counting is working. I have a bit of a binge problem whereas I'll have something I like (eg a vanilla latte) and suddenly it's all I can think about and I plan to go to get one all the time and it's just silly.
It doesn't help that I'm an enormous foodie, so I really love trying lots of different things which means I end up getting tonnes of dishes in a restaurant because I love to try new things but It means I'm eating far more than I should!

sparkle i keep seeing people talking about that book.
forever i did read that in teh beginning you may well binge on stuff but it subsides. it's like a reset i think x
btw you look great in both photos and really shouldn't hate yourself. try to be kinder to yourself by imagining your child talking to herself like that you would hate it wouldnt you xx

I know I really would hate it. And I don't do it in front of her (not that she really understands much) but I really want to be better for her. I want to feel better and look better and be happier. I don't want to embarrass her by being fat or bad looking. And I want her to see a healthy eating mum not someone who shovels stuff all the time. I want her to see me exercising and see it's a good thing. I want her to have time for herself because I was brought up to do everything for everyone else. I realise now that my mum is quite emotionally abusive and has her own issues with food. It's not a life I want for her.

I also booked myself in for a hair cut. I've not had my hair cut in nearly 2 years and it shows. I used to get it done every 8ish weeks but since I've had her everything for me has just disappeared.

It sounds like you need an overhaul of your thought process. Sounds so cheesy but hating yourself is not the answer - you need to be kind to yourself. Your daughter only wants you to be happy, she doesn't care if you are a size 8 or 18. Eat well in front of her.

on a practical level food shop healthy items. snack on protein - chicken slices, soya nilk. this will fill you up. try to eat less sugar, low fat items are shocking for sugar so be careful there. better off with full fat good food.

if you had a crappy mother you might like to read around the subject. it sounds as if you are at the start of a journey here that is more about your heart than your wasitline x

I do actually like soya milk so was thinking about changing to it. I do need to change my mind but I just can't seem to get rid of the little voice telling me how disgusting and useless and awful I am.

ok so take small steps. and get outside and walk/exercise. eat well in the daytime so you're not starving by evening and likely to eat crap). then you'll start to feel better about yourself.

eat things like fish and salad and avocados and drink loads of water.

i know you can lose weight by severe dieting but you can't sustain it. better to keep an eye on what goes in using myfitnesspal app. but eat well rather than starve yourself.

YOU ARE NOT USELESS X

I'm definitely doing much better now. MyFitnessPal is a godsend. I'm just trying to keep moving all day. Even if it's dancing to the radio while at the sink! Meal planning too.

Thank you for your support x

best of luck x

For what it's worth OP your "after" picture is what I would die to look like right now, I'm a lot bigger than you right.

Hope you're doing well, I'm reading the thread as motivation as I'm on a weight loss mission after baby number 2, PND and a huge 8 stone weight gain since I became pregnant with DD1!

I'm low carbing which at the moment is the only thing that controls my binge eating but I hope you find a way of eating and exercise routine that works for you rooting for you!

@MrsScamander first of all love the name. I had PND too, it's an absolute bastard isn't it. I'm pretty sure that it stemmed from my lack of confidence in myself among other things. I've never felt so awful in my entire life so bless you. You're a strong lady! I couldn't do low carb, when I cut things out I find myself basically dreaming about them and driving myself mad. How are you getting on with it?

If you fast, you get your body into a process called Autophagy and this helps loose skin from weight loss

Diets where you don’t get the body into Autophagy can leave you with masses of loose skin

It’s 5:2, Michael Moseley you need to look at. Slimming World makes no attempt to keep you and your skin actually healthy

@mooncuplanding I'm just having a google of this, thank you. I'm not sure if I am mentally strong enough to manage it 😬

@foreverhanging it's always good to find another Newt Scamander fan 😁

The PND, I don't think I've ever felt so scared or lonely before, I remember posting on here about how I was feeling and getting so much support from people who helped me to realise I wasn't the worst mum ever! I had nearly a year where I ate my feelings and punished myself for it, a horrible cycle of feeling worthless, hopeless and thinking I couldn't change so may as well eat what i wanted.

I'm not going to lie, low carb is so hard! I'd done it before and lost nearly 4 stone (I was 4 stone lighter when I first started it though ) and when I get into it I find the lack of hunger a revelation. I have such a huge sweet tooth so knowing its all off limits helps because I don't have self control to not binge.

This time I've lost 2 stone 5lbs (starting weight nearly 21 stone though)

But I wish I could do the "everything in moderation" way of eating because I do think that's the most realistic approach, I'm hoping when I get nearer to my goal weight I can take that more balanced approach.

Anyway sorry I'm blabbing on about myself, how are you getting on? I got to the part of the thread where you said you went to the gym for 45 minutes before baby escaping into the shower got me off mumsnet 😁