I'm just so fat, how and where do I start? Overwhelmed.

[Fantasisa]

I'm 18stones, it has crept on over the last five years. I was previously a fit an active person.

I just do not know where to start, my size is starting to limit my activities. I can't wear any of my nice clothes, my wedding ring doesn't fit anymore etc. But I am utterly overwhelmed and don't know where to start.

I want something sustainable - I don't like things like SW/WW as the meetings make me cringe and I don't find them motivational. But I need to change and I need to change now.

I have a very, very busy life working FT and caring for small DC (when the weight piled on) and an elderly relative. I could exercise before work but I'm just so damn tired all the time. I don't even know where to buy jogging bottoms that fit, my tummy is now an overhang which is uncomfortable.

Help please! Advice or motivational stories most welcome.

There are so many different approaches. My approach has been to wait until I’ve finished my period so I’m at my least hungry (I’m ravenous just before my period!). Plan every single meal (breakfast, lunch and dinner) for the week. Fill a 2 litre bottle with water and keep it in the fridge. Make sure you drink the whole bottle every single day. Before each meal drink a pint of water. Do not snack at all, just for 1 week! Then at the end of that week see how you feel. The first few days are the hardest because you’re starving and your body is expecting snacks. Just fight against it for 1 week. After that first week you may feel more able to manage going forward. The motivation in the first week is the hardest.

And diets like SW and WW are only 5% successful long term. They're not the answer.

They are for some of us. Many different people, many different approaches: no one solution

Take on board the great advice on here and tweak things, little by little, until you find the right approach.

For me, I simply have to go down a 'denial' type approach. I'm binary: all or nothing. If I have one treat, I'll have a whole raft of treats. Consequently there is absolutely no snack food in my house. But that's me. Most of my friends are way more analogue. They have one small piece of cake, one packet of crisps and that's enough.

We're all different. Find your best way and off you go. Wish you all the luck in the world

Handsoff I did it using my fitness pal calorie counting app, went from 13st 10lb to 9st 3 then fell pregnant with my second!

Eating less and better choices became the norm, now I'm 15st heaviest ever!

Slimming world never worked for me as I spent so much time thinking about food, what to eat, free foods, Syns etc.

I need to find that zone again.

I joined WW online as I feared I would always be porker of the week because I just couldn’t stop myself.

Last May I was 18.6 I am now 12.6 I’ve stuck at it, I also use MFP along side as I’ve really increased my running...ok red faced jogging but running sounds better. I aim for 20 minutes 3 x a week, I started C25K but can do 20 mins outright so now am adding 5 mins on at a time extra.

I don’t drink alcohol, I’ve completely changed everything I did have a target of 11.7 but I think I want to go to 10.7.l, had 2 c sections both emergency so my belly along with the weight has seen better days lol.

For me I needed that structure, the points worked for me and having healthy snacks available particularly cold grapes saved me many time, healthy dinners pre planned also helped, prep is the key because take aways and naughty treats are too easy.

Take one day at a time, one bad day doesn’t have to be a bad week. It’s achievable, my brain is completely reprogrammed now, my bad habits have gone. I went out today, lunch, skinny coffee, came home, changed and done my 20 mins.

I have about 3 stone to lose 😪.

First I started mild exercise, yoga. Made me feel stronger and able to take on more exercise. I feel better already and have started exercising with weights at home to a DVD 3 x a week.

Then I started my fitness pal and logged my food. I've still eaten cake, fish and chips, drank alcohol, but I want to change my lifestyle so I am sticking to 1200 calories a day. It doesn't matter if I eat more one day or less on another, just aiming for a balance and being aware of what I'm putting in my mouth.

I've tried low carb and slimming world, lost a bit of weight, but put it back on. I don't want to cut anything out, just eat less So I don't berate myself for eating crap occasionally or missing a workout. I just want to change my lifestyle for good. I've lost about a pound a week but I feel I can stick to this long term.

I've lost a stone in 2 months by stopping the evening snacking BUT the only way I managed to break the cycle was by going to bed ridiculously early for the first week. As early as the DCs basically. But it worked to stop myself from eating the contents of the house. Now I can stay up and not feel hungry after dinner. Obviously it's an unusual and maybe not practical method but it did really help me.

@BooksandPens, I have thought of doing the same! Also I stay up late with DH and the snacks give me the false energy to be awake too late so I am tired. I’m thinking of also sitting in another chair when I do sit down for the evening to break the association with feet up and snacks on the go!

Definitely going to bed earlier is key, I've had an ok weekend but still eating after my dinner, again all sweets. From tomorrow I'm making a pact with myself to be in bed by 9.30pm and NOT creep downstairs to raid cupboards

Ok, so I’ve done well in so much as I haven’t raided the treat cupboard. And proper meals today - porridge, a sandwich and a roast dinner (no roast potatoes). Also went swimming for an hour which is good. I’m pleased to just be reining myself in, that’s the plan for now. Just had a cup of tea and a couple of squares of dark raspberry chocolate. How is everyone else getting on?

THat sounds like a perfect day. I do think earning sensibly is the way to go. You could throw in a snack during the day, I would be starving by dinner😊!

Well done - sounds like a great start.

I just set up my new Fitbit scale - scary beciase it is weighing me a couple of pounds heavier than my old scale. It also calculates body fat - 34% 😅😳

34 per cent doesn’t sound too bad, I think I’m 80 per cent Toblerone at this point.

@exparrot, I think for me just saying out loud how fat I am (even if it was just on here) was the first step. Hopefully I will keep going in the right direction. Trying to remember that I wasn’t always like this and that I did live a non fat life for so long makes me feel like I just need to get back to who I was. Somehow.

Trying to remember that I wasn’t always like this and that I did live a non fat life for so long makes me feel like I just need to get back to who I was. Somehow.

You will, I promise. I did and I'm ..... well, nothing out of the ordinary

I had exactly this. I woke up one day and was 17.5 stone and how no idea how it had happened.

I downloaded the Lose It app (there are others available but that works especially well for iOS) and put in all my details. It my starting calories for weight loss at 2,100 a day because I was so big.

I cut out on snacks, stopped drinking fizzy drinks and started religiously drinking two litres of water a day and put into the app everything I ate and drank. I still ate 'naughty' stuff - but if I had a Dominos pizza takeaway with DH I knew it was 1,100 calories for what I was eating and adjusted the rest of my day accordingly. Somewhat embarrassingly a lot of weeknights I ate Tesco Finest ready meals, so not the best food necessarily but I knew exactly how many calories it was.

I've lost weight steadily and now down to just under 11 stone in 18 months. I don't calorie count now but I do still watch what I eat - I've moved away to eating less processed food and white carbs / refined sugar. I also started doing DDP Yoga using the app three times a week to tone up.

It's been slow and steady (and with gains here and there as life creeps in) but it's sustainable and worked for me.

@AgentPeggyCarter - that sounds like how I want to do it. Slow, steady and sustainable. I think I have to accept that I'm not going to be how I want to be by my summer holiday, but by Christmas, for example, I could be back into 'just' an overweight range for my height.

I want a healthier relationship with food. There is abuse in my childhood and there was some neglect around food too so I think in the last few years I have just thought 'fuck it' and eaten exactly what I want. But that isn't responsible and I need to stop.

I’m the same. 15stone and have two dc with special needs. It has been a very very hard few years. Food has been a way of medicating the pain and struggle I suppose which isn’t healthy. I would love to take the kids swimming but feel massively uncomfortable. I’ve opted for a VLCD which I know isn’t the healthiest option but mi struggle with moderation and good and bad food so I’m hoping stopping it completely will help. I’m walking more as we’ve now got a dog so that’s getting me out more. I find between 4-6pm the most tricky time. But I’m hoping by removing the stress of the kids school that it’ll give me a start to breaking a bad habit.

@alwaysgrey, I have always swum. Please don't feel uncomfortable, I order my swimming costume online and it has always been fine. Take the DC, mine love it! Spotting the tricky times is good so you can plan for them, mine are from when I get home hungry from work (snacking while I cook is a danger) and the evening's after the DC are finally in bed. Walking is good, I might start going for a walk around the block in the evening. Anything is better than nothing.

I went for a walk at lunchtime today, which was a great head-clearer.

My weak point is mid-morning, when I can eat a whole packet of biscuits without noticing.

I can identity with the 'fuck it' aspect, I literally eat anything I want.

Before you do anthing, I would recommend getting a few blood tests done:

Thyroid (all)
Vitamin D
Iron

If any of those are haywire, or you are very tired with young children, you will be fighting against a snowstorm.

You can definitely lose the weight. You will find a way but be nice to yourself. Good luck.

So I let myself get too hungry and I’m posting from a McDonald’s with the DC! The annoying thing is that I don’t even like McDonald’s! My mistake was not being organised and knowing what was for tea ahead of time.

Oh well. Tomorrow is a new day.

I’m starting tomorrow after a horrible day. Small steps.