I'm just so fat, how and where do I start? Overwhelmed.

[Fantasisa]

I'm 18stones, it has crept on over the last five years. I was previously a fit an active person.

I just do not know where to start, my size is starting to limit my activities. I can't wear any of my nice clothes, my wedding ring doesn't fit anymore etc. But I am utterly overwhelmed and don't know where to start.

I want something sustainable - I don't like things like SW/WW as the meetings make me cringe and I don't find them motivational. But I need to change and I need to change now.

I have a very, very busy life working FT and caring for small DC (when the weight piled on) and an elderly relative. I could exercise before work but I'm just so damn tired all the time. I don't even know where to buy jogging bottoms that fit, my tummy is now an overhang which is uncomfortable.

Help please! Advice or motivational stories most welcome.

Start the day with something high protein, like bacon and eggs. It's so satiating that it will make not snacking so much easier. Drink a ton of water throughout the day. Plan your food and have some easy healthy snacks at hand so if you do feel like you need a snack you'll be less likely to reach for the crap. Same for lunch and tea - higher protein, and cut pasta and bread. Don't look at the bigger picture when it comes to how much you need to lose. It's too overwhelming. Just let the weight loss happen and observe the number on the scale without judgement. With the couple of changes you'll make you'll see the weight shift and it'll be motivating, but don't attach too much emotion to that number. You could also start small with exercising. So do 20 jumping Jacks waiting for the kettle to boil. Do 10 situps during an ad break etc. This is so doable, and you've made the biggest step deciding to start. Good luck. Youve got this x

Don't try anything too restrictive at the start as it can set you up to fail. Cut down portions/ carbs whatever works but don't deprive completely. Instead of rice have cauliflower rice for example. Have a couple of days a week where you have the odd treat.

I don't diet I don't believe they are good for us long term. However I'm aware of what I eat, I try to squeeze more veg into every meal and minimal things such as potatoes rice or pasta, bread. I won't go carb free as I exercise and am very active in work and believe I need some carbs. Also more protein it fills you up. These I only have some of the week and the wholemeal versions where possible. I drink lots of water, no pop. May have a treat glass at a weekend or out and about. I don't have chocolate in the house although I do eat it some days it's less tempting as I have to go out. Minimal alcohol and options such as a spirit and diet tonic rather Han wine or beer.

Move more even just walking will help burn some calories if you don't want to exercise in other ways. I personally find once you exercise you want to do more cos it makes you feel good. If you feel good you may eat less.
Good luck!

Good luck, will keep my fingers crossed for you. I am also a sugar addict and there is no way I’ll cut it out. This is what works for me when I am losing weight, appreciate they are not for everyone :)

My fitness pal - everything logged because then you can’t cheat. Plus you can eat back your exercise calories so if you haven’t got enough calories for something and a walk round the block will mean you can eat it, you do it!
I eat a lot of little low calorie snacks so I feel like I am still grazing but it’s not a problem - I eat dry Crackers!
Find one or two things on the go which aren’t too bad for you - I have eaten a particular egg and cress sandwich from a shop near my work so many times I would happily never eat it again, but it’s pretty much the only sandwich in the shop that’s under 300 calories so I keep eating it!
PlantNanny is a great free app for making you drink more water which helped.

A few times I’ve had a weigh in with someone else and we’ve had a money wager - both put £50 in - if we both lose say more than 4lbs in a month we get our money back, if only one of us does that person keeps all the money. It did work!

I always say this but the 16:8 diet changed my life. I eat during an 8 hour window and fast the rest of the time. I usually eat between 10am and 6pm but it changes on a daily basis. I've lost weight and feel so much better and in control. I don't feel like I'm dieting at all and eat whatever I want. I do naturally like healthy foods but also eat lots of high calorie food (too much cheese, pouring olive oil over my meals, chocolate etc.). I've been dieting since puberty so about 30 years and this is the only "diet" I can stick to, that's changed my appetite and stopped me wanting to overeat.

Ceebs I do spinning st home. I can't afford Peleton though. I bought a spin bike from Argos for less than £200. I have a les Mills app for £10 a month. Put it on audio or get a tablet/phone holder for the bike and away I go.

As I was used to gym bikes I wasn't expecting much but nearly 2 years I. It's held up ok and I spin up to 3x most weeks. So it can be done cheaper

Some good advice here. I wouldn't try anything drastic. As a pp said the key is to find sustainable ways to eat a bit less and move a bit more.

As some first steps maybe try:

• not having things in the house that will tempt you. I find that if it's in the house I will eat it. I buy one packet of plain biscuits in my weekly shop and when I feel like a snack I say to myself - you can have a biscuit or anything else (toast, fruit, carrots, cereal). Because there are no hidden treats anywhere it makes it easier to resist temptation.

• make as many "easy" swaps as you can. So if you drink a lot of lattes can you ask for the smaller size and swap to skimmed or oat milk? Or, even better, go for an americano instead. You might not even really notice a swap like that.

• cut out alcohol. This was the biggest thing for me. I worked out that there's only actually a small window each day where I fancy a drink, so if I can get through that window then I'm fine. I have the occasional drink but mostly I have something in that window like an alcohol free beer or slimline tonic/fizzy water with a dash of bitters. I find that drinking alcohol and snacking go hand in hand, so reducing one helps to reduce the other.

Also - remember that you are brilliant. I don't know you but I'm sure you are. Seriously- look at everything you've got on your plate and how brilliantly you're doing. And even if you don't always do brilliantly with it, that's okay because you're still the irreplaceable person you are.
It's great to want to be healthy (because you deserve care, including self-care). But there's loads of stuff around weight that has f all to do with being healthy and everything to do with the unrealistic societal standards/patriarchy. You never, ever need to feel like you are of less value because of your weight. That's the patriarchy talking. You are brilliant.

Brilliant post @stripydeckchair and I completely agree with you.

Another tip, OP, make your plate half veg. I find the more of them I eat the more I enjoy them. You’re kind of retaining yourself to enjoy the taste of healthier things! I make sure I eat all the veg on my plate first before I get to the good stuff (meat/sauce etc!) That way if I get full before I finish I know I’ve got all the healthy food down!

*retraining not retaining?

Thank you everyone and particularly @stripydeckchair, your post means a lot. I have definitely let self care slip to the bottom of my 'to do' list and boy does it show. I feel like my weight is telling the world that.

Every waking moment is spent thinking about other people's needs and I need to build myself in there. I do feel like a lesser version of myself and hate meeting up with friends that I haven't seen for a while for example.

To the posters up thread who are in the same boat, I would love to continue to post and share our weight loss goals.

Fantasisa - your posts sound like something I could have written. I’m totally addicted to sugar, I also drink full sugar coke every day, always want something sweet and it doesn't matter that I’m absolutely stuffed. I pick constantly, always on crap, I make sure my kids eat healthy meals but don’t apply the same rules for myself!

Even when I do occasionally wat a good, healthy meal I’ll want to have something sweet after, I aldi love savoury food like crisps 😫

I avoid social situations due to my weight, I’m the biggest I’ve ever been and everyday I say today I’ll start.

Tomorrow I’m starting for the millionth time a healthy eating plan. Shall we do this together?

Sorry that was so long - and lots of incorrect autocorrect

Ellieboolou27 - yes definitely! I have had a really tough day today (work and home) but I have for the first time I can remember eaten well. No snacks bar a banana and I even cooked when I got in really, really late so I'm quite impressed with myself for that. Often I would have toast as my 'tea' and then mentally give myself to snack because I hadn't had a proper meal.

I drink mostly water and tea/occasional latte out but if I'm out for a meal full fat Coke is my go to too. I hate Diet Coke!

By eaten well I mean proper food so I'm not calorie counting or anything yet, just aiming to eat less erratically and make good choices.

Breakfast - Porridge and fruit
Lunch - Eggs, toast soldiers and avocado
Tea - chicken stir fry and rice
Cups of tea and a banana

exparrot - I think it is important just to start. I don't want to go from a sugar high to facing a plate of uninspiring vegetables. The overhang is what I'm most ashamed of, even though I now look like one of those people whose head is too small for their body, the overhang is what I feel really marks me out as obese which is probably a silly way to think. Keep posting with me!

PS. Well done btw, virtual pat on the back from me!!

Great start! Yes to the wedding ring no longer fitting too my stomach was smaller and less bloated when I was pregnant!

Tomorrow I'm planning 3 meals, no coke - (also HATE Diet Coke would rather go without) and one small and healthy snack once kids in bed.

Looking forward to supporting each other 👍

Keto diet?

I have a too-tiny head and an overhang too. I look like I'm wearing a bumbag under my clothes. Aren't we gorgeous?

Sugar is my problem too, and I can't get remotely excited about vegetables.

Eating less erratically and making good choices is a brilliant way to start. I'd like to eat less mindlessly. Can I join you?

Why don’tyou find some vegetables you like and cook them in a way you find appetising?

Dismissing all vegetables as some sort of torture isnt going to help you.

In the nicest way possible “just quit sugar and carbs” is about as useful as telling a homeless person to just rent a house. Dependent on OPs relationship with food, that task is easier said than done.

I found calorie counting and tracking really helpful to begin with. It made me more aware of what I was taking in, and was easier to spot where I can reduce my calorie intake. I also tried to walk whenever possible and go to the gym.

I find with 16:8 that I eat huge amounts in the eating window, how do you manage to avoid that?

Do 8:16 instead.