I'm just so fat, how and where do I start? Overwhelmed.

[Fantasisa]

I'm 18stones, it has crept on over the last five years. I was previously a fit an active person.

I just do not know where to start, my size is starting to limit my activities. I can't wear any of my nice clothes, my wedding ring doesn't fit anymore etc. But I am utterly overwhelmed and don't know where to start.

I want something sustainable - I don't like things like SW/WW as the meetings make me cringe and I don't find them motivational. But I need to change and I need to change now.

I have a very, very busy life working FT and caring for small DC (when the weight piled on) and an elderly relative. I could exercise before work but I'm just so damn tired all the time. I don't even know where to buy jogging bottoms that fit, my tummy is now an overhang which is uncomfortable.

Help please! Advice or motivational stories most welcome.

[Handsoffmysweets]

fried I keep myself busy doing things with my toddlers, walking the dogs, exercising, cleaning, working etc. I don’t physically have time to sit down and eat loads of food and that does definitely help.

[FriedFoodFreud]

Yes, that would definitely help. Unfortunately I sit at a desk all day. Perhaps I should get a standy up desk with a treadmill.

[Handsoffmysweets]

I also make targets and mini goals - e.g I’ve got a night out with the girls in two weeks so I want to be back in the ‘9s’ for that. Then after that we’ve got a party a few weeks later so then the aim is 9.7. I’m aiming to be back at 8.10 by the beginning of June. Having goals and visualising the event and how I’ll feel being slimmer keeps me motivated.

[Handsoffmysweets]

I’m surprised they haven’t invented those 🤣 It’s just about getting prepared in that case. Low cal snacks (chicken, boiled eggs etc) and fruit to pick at. I find a cup of tea also curbs my cravings.

[Dottierichardson]

OP most online stores have a range of non-average sizes, a friend uses ASOS Curve, and sometimes maternity lines as work as size changes. It's cheap which is good if unlikely to fit later. But as with all ASOS goods need to go for plain stuff, and check materials used, as some stuff pretty good but not all.

[Dottierichardson]

My sister lost 5 stone doing the 5:2 diet and doing exercise dvds at home. She was bigger than you and started/stopped diets several times. It can be done.

[Fantasisa]

In the nicest way possible “just quit sugar and carbs” is about as useful as telling a homeless person to just rent a house.

Exactly, this isn't helpful. As I said, for me to quit I would have to be locked in a room in a remote farm to come down off them. I am not remotely motivated by carbs either and I don't want food groups to be banned for me as I know that won't suit me.

Also, to the poster up thread who said I dismissed vegetables, I haven't at all. There is lots of food I dislike - broccoli included - but lots I love. What I was saying was that it is too big a life change to jump from literally eating exactly what I want to a plate full of vegetables.

I am using this thread to think about why I eat what I do and when I do. So much of my eating is utterly mindless. I have been guilty of reaching into a bag of something for the last one to find I have already eaten it and not even realised. That cannot continue. It is going to take time to unpick my behaviour but this thread is helping.

I am going to take it not even day by day but choice by choice. I am having a bad working week and I would have had a latte today as a treat to take back to the office, but I walked past and I that for today is a win.

[FriedFoodFreud]

Good work on the latte. Choice by choice is a really good way of looking at it, it's too overwhelming otherwise.

[Fantasisa]

Yes, not done so well since then though

[Knitclubchatter]

what did you have for breakfast that has left you peckish?

[Knitclubchatter]

just as important what do you have planned for lunch and supper?

[Fantasisa]

Dinner I hadn’t planned - which was my mistake. Had a wrap with ham, mozzarella and salad. And had a Penguin bar because I was still hungry.

[Fantasisa]

Evenings will always be the hardest as that is when my sugar consumption is usually at its highest.

[Handsoffmysweets]

Do you have any hobbies that could occupy you in the evening OP? Reading, even catching up on soaps (one of mine 🤦‍♀️) or doing a quick 20 min workout?

[dontdoubtyourself]

Op check out precision nutrition on instagram. I found their emails really helpful. changing small habits bit by bit so it was sustainable and a habit rather than a shock to the system i couldn't do long term.

[Ellieboolou27]

I think I need to go to that farm with you!
I’ve just stuffed 5 Freddo frogs after being good all day and having my dinner only 45 minutes ago, it’s like when 7pm comes along I turn into an eating machine (mostly sugar stuff)

[Jsmith99]

Firstly, you CAN do this.

I am both greedy and lazy and I lost weight, so if I can, you can.

I would start by identifying the problem areas in your current diet and tackling them one by one, eg snacks between meals. You might be surprised how little you miss some things you currently eat lots of. There will inevitably be some things you struggle to cut right down on. I have to be honest, the only way I managed to tackle my crisp addiction is not to have them in the house at all.

Think in terms of eating more of the good stuff, rather than thinking in terms of depriving yourself. Eat more lean meat & fish. Eat more eggs. Eat lots more vegetables. Eat lots more salad. Eat more fruit, within reason. Eat more whole grain cereals.

Move more. You don’t need to go to the gym. Just walk. Even if it’s only a few hundred meters to start with. Build it up from there. Get a step counter app on your phone, set yourself a realistic daily target then build from there. Just walk.

Allow yourself one ‘cheat day’ a week, on which you can have a sensible amount of whatever you want, within reason. Obviously, if you scoff a huge greasy take-away followed by a tub of ice cream washed down with a litre of coke, that isn’t going to help...

Good luck!

[Fantasisa]

Ellie, that is basically how I eat so I know how it is. I went out to a friend’s house tonight to break the cycle of sitting and eating so that helped. I’m a bit snappy with DH though - it’s like giving up smoking! I find I’m looking forward to my meals more already, I went to bed last night thinking about my porridge!

[Fantasisa]

@exparrot - were both dinners salad?

[Ellieboolou27]

great idea to break the "evening binging routine". Last night was bad there was more after freddo frogs!
I downloaded brain over binge on my kindle so that's my plan tonight!

I must break this habit - your right it is like quitting smoking still in my to do list too

[Handsoffmysweets]

The biggest problem for me was I needed to have my ‘lightbulb moment’. Prior to that, I was really half arsed about it and by the evening I’d be snacking. Once you eventually decide enough is enough, it’s easier to put down the snacks.

[Ellieboolou27]

Totally agree handsoff I'm hoping the book will spur my motivation, I've lost a large amount of weight in the past, 4.5st so I know I can do, I need that switch to go off.

[KneelJustKneel]

Posting to read later. Im a similar weight and am in an eating disorders group.

At this weight its not about the food as such. And diets like SW and WW are only 5% successful long term. They're not the answer.

A new relarionship with food is and completely reexamining what else is going on in life.

But yes Im struggling with my sheer size veing obvious to everyone and the fact its limiting what I do I have low energy anyway and everythings not as simple as someone who jusy has a stone to lose.

Its long term and hard.

Im starting some trauma counselling soon.

I also suspect strongly im add (adhd without the h) and both trauma and adhd are high predictors of issues around eating.

[Handsoffmysweets]

Wow ellie that’s an amazing weight loss, how did you do it?

kneel can I ask how much you have to lose? Years ago someone I know lost 10 stone with the Cambridge diet and kept it off. I don’t normally advocate those times of things but the counselling she had with it to redevelop eating habits (she had suffered serious trauma also) changed the way she thought about food.