Tried it all.... don't know where to start

[raindrips]

I am desperate, turned 42, 5ft 2 11 stone11lbs - BMI obese- have always struggled but happy at 10/10.5 stone in past where I would be size 12- currently size 14 pushing 16! I have tried everything recently- exante, weight watchers- and have rejoined local slimming world so many times they think I'm a boomerang!!
I do little to no exercise- no interest in gyms and group classes- I enjoy walking hiking and yoga - but find any local classes impossible to get with young kids and evening homework etc
I looked at weight loss thread but they specific plans - I just don't know what one I should try?
Has anyone ever done tapping or any hypnosis or mindfulness
I seem to know all the theory but just can't raise the motivation ☹️

Same! I’ve tried detoxing, using a PT, and am currently doing coach to 5k and still the weight isn’t shifting. It’s very frustrating not to see any weight loss so I am with you!

In the past I've tried all kinds of things from slimming world to meal replacements, I've tried keto and vegan ism, all failed or if I lost anything I immediate put immediate back on.

I'm currently doing intermittent fasting, where I don't eat for 3 days then have a very low carb meal, typically salad avocado and prawns then start fasting again. I don't feel I'm missing out, I've had no food cravings, my stomach has shrunk from fasting so I get full much quicker and I'm almost constantly in a fat burning state. I lost 1 and a half stone in march.

It's not for everyone but I've found it quite helpful xx

Honestly the only thing that works is calories in vs calories out.
Use an app like My Fitness Pal and input everything you eat, track every single thing you eat for a week, see how many calories you are currently eating and then drop the amount by 100-200 calories per day for a few weeks and keep going from there.

You've tried various different plans and they didn't work. Have a good long hard honest look at why they didn't work. Then think about what would work for you. If you don't want to be doing loads of cooking from scratch, find something that doesn't involve loads of cooking. If you can't be doing with loads of weighing and measuring, find something that doesn't involve that.

Also be realistic about your expectations. Losing weight takes time and it's not going to fall off overnight. A pound a week is sensible. Every way of losing weight requires adjustment to your lifestyle, because it's the thing that's made you put on weight in the first place. You need to find out which one is the least painful and stick with it.

Have you looked at Paul McKenna? I think diets are the work of the devil and stopped dieting in my 20s. McKenna's model looks more at the reasons why you overeat and I think there is a lot of sense in it. Having said that, you're trying to break very strong habits so it's going to be hard. These things are always easier with support - do you have a partner who can help/join in?

Thanks all- is the Paul McKenna gastric band book what you would recommend? I'll try that- I am concerned though that I can override it v easily- for example I am well aware that I am about to eat the wrong foods- I question myself and debate with myself then still head to McDonald's drive through- no later than last night - I knew I was tired and craving junk food - I knew that I could have went to shop and got an apple and ready made salad just as easily- I knew that would make me fatter, and be worse for my health -but I wanted a burger - I really wanted that burger- so after debating with myself in my own head about why I shouldn't I decided I really wanted it so I went and got it!!!
That's what I'm dealing with- my mindset
I don't mind cooking , just need to be better organised and have freezer stocked- but sometimes I just want a burger!!
How the hell do I shift the thinking!!

I have to agree with Pashola - CICO and some form of regular exercise is the way to go. Have a scout of Gumtree or Facebook buy and sell sites for people selling weights. There’s tonnes of free workouts and guides online for using them.

but sometimes I just want a burger!!

I totally understand that urge. I am not following a diet but I am trying to adjust my eating habits by changing one thing at a time until it becomes a new habit then I move on to the next.

First I started to have healthier breakfasts, then lunches and now dinners. I still have 'that burger' but I just compensate by having a lighter meal that day or the next day. My weight is going down but slowly so since beginning of this year I have lost 10pounds. On a diet plan I would have thrown in the towel by now but doing it this way feels more like just normal eating as I don't track/count/fast etc.

I have followed specific diet plans in the past and lost weight but like most people put it back on once I stop. This is why I am trying to find a better way.

CICO I get- In fact I get the theory behind most diets low carb/ IF/ slimming world
It's just I need to shift my mind or motivation or both into doing it!!!
I need that rock bottom thing that makes alcoholics put down the glass!!
Maybe the subliminal messages from a hypnotist will be the key!! I like the new habit forming approach- seems achievable- I kicked the ciggies years ago because I just made up my mind- so I know I can do it!
It's just so de motivating when I am healthy all week- maybe loosing a pound or two and then with a few glasses of wine and a blow out meal at the weekend (or sneaky burger) I am back with the pound back on and feeling crap!!!
Or am I over thinking this??

I don’t mean to sound harsh, but I think that what you need is a wake up call.

For me, it was hitting a BMI of 30 and developing painful knees and this sharp pain in my foot every time I’d walk more than 10-15 minutes. I didn’t care so much about what I looked like, but at 40 I definitely felt way too young for all of that.

What do you think that rock bottom point looks like for you? Is it hitting a BMI or 35? Going up another size in your clothing?

If you can visualise that rock bottom point, you can use it to motivate yourself to work on making sure you never ever hit it.

Not sure if that makes any sense, but I hope it does!

Crazzzycat it's not harsh at all - I 100% agree- just haven't had the call yet- or rather it's yelling at me - I just seem to be choosing not to listen!!
I know it's a mind shift - I will work on that- just seems such a massive mountain to climb!!! And the comfort eating is just easier!
I know I sound like I need a good shake and I do!
I think the health implications is what scares me - type 2 diabetes- cancer risks etc
But not scared enough to act!!
Aaahhhh I'm so frustrated at myself!

I totally know what you mean. I was pretty good at ignoring the signs for years

Just be reassured that when you hit your rock bottom, you may not actually find it that difficult to get and stay motivated.

I’m now three months into my weight loss journey, have lost just under 2 stone and feel like a different person. I still have some way to go, but it all feels totally achievable now.

When you’re ready just take it one step at a time. Don’t focus on the total weight you need to lose, as that can make it feel like you’re facing an impossible task. Try to focus on the little changes along the way.

Good luck!

And for when you’re ready....this is the plan I’ve been following:

www.nhs.uk/live-well/healthy-weight/start-the-nhs-weight-loss-plan/

It’s a pretty simple plan, with a focus on teaching people healthier habits. It’s good if you’re looking for a lifestyle change

P McK original book is "I can make you thin". I think the rest are just money-spinner follow-ups. I did say you're trying to change very entrenched habits so it's not going to be easy. But you need to think about why you're so driven to food for comfort/pleasure that it overrides what you know about the damage you're doing.

Bright lines eating is good. She was a drug addict turned food addict and it sounds like this might appeal based on some of the things you’ve said. Addiction is addiction - booze, fags - or sugar and flour which are the two demons she talks about

Low carb high fat no sugar no flour no starchy carbs has worked for me. It’s not perfect but the society we live in is 24-7 supersize availability Easter eggs everywhere etc and it’s a wonder more people aren’t obese. But the cravings have seriously diminished on this way of eating.

Bright Line Eating by Susan Peirce Thompson
Why We Get Fat by Gary Taubes
The Obesity Code by Jason Fung

Offer an unorthodox take on obesity

Why We Get Fat by Gary Taubes
The Obesity Code by Jason Fung

I've read these too and as a result intermittent fasting and reduced carb is the way for me. It's working and I feel really good about it, really positive and like I know I'll stick with it and what's gone wrong in the past.

Glad to hear it Oyster I am also really happy with this way of eating

I'm currently doing intermittent fasting, where I don't eat for 3 days

Toasty this surely can't be possible?

I’ve fasted for 24hrs but it made me hungry
I find 16:8 the most effective for me.
It’s worth experimenting with but I’ve no appetite (ha!) for three days of it