AIBU to want a gentler health/weight discussion

[argumentativefeminist]

Want to interact with others and get support/motivation for getting healthier and active, and in the process losing weight. But I absolutely don't want to hear any "diet culture", calorie counting or unhealthy disordered eating promotion. Surely I can't be the only one? Sometimes it seems like every thread I click on is just full of upsetting, unhelpful comments that sound like they could have been lifted from a thinspo website.

Have been back at work today after holiday (at home)...pain from chronic condition isn't great.

Still aiming to get out to Body Balance this evening though (if I am still awake!)

Sounds like the Boditrax machine is as something to avoid!

I should have walked my dog today and I didn’t. Fortunately tomorrow I am doing a later CrossFit class so she’ll come out on the school run with us. I need to get more on the ball with her... needs to fit back into my regieme

Mind you the schools break up on Wednesday don’t they... so no point worrying (Just worry about when I’m gong to fit in my training)

Actually that shouldn’t be too bad, the kids LOVE it when I do Open Gym, they prance about and play with stuff.

So I could do 2 x sessions a week with them in the open gym, 1 x session of regular CrossFit with them and 1 x session in which their father comes and sits with them while I’m in the gym (so still at the gym but at least I can properly relax and train.

I hate that the holidays throw me so out of whack with everything!

Hope you got to your class Curtains, and that your pain feels better soon. Keep us updated and let us know if you need any little motivations! 💕

That sounds like a good exercise plan, Camel! I agree the summer holidays throw everything out of order - I so, so miss the swimming pool at my uni 😩

camel I can’t decide if I’m looking forward to my little one being big enough to prance around leaving me alone or whether that’s going to be extra-stressful! He’s 10 months and comes with me to Pilates which used to be a piece of cake when he just lay on a blanket, and is now much less serene because he spends half the time climbing on me (23lbs of unexpected lopsided resistance on this bridge? Oh thanks), and the other half licking the mirrored wall 🤨. But I do think it’s good for them to see movement as a normal part of life.

Verbena I do so love your little stories about him, he sounds so cute 😍 I agree about seeing movement as a normal part of life - I think this would have really helped me when I was younger!

He’s a gem and so funny! Hadn’t expected to find motherhood so much fun.

I do think having it from early on is great - both my parents have always been really active and we did loads of hillwalking when we were little, and my sister and I are both pretty fit (though I’m a bit out of condition having had to step back a bit since childbirth) - I do believe humans are designed to move and we’re happiest when we’re using our bodies and our minds.

Off on holiday tomorrow and hoping to get some sea swimming in if the good old Atlantic isn’t too bone-crushingly cold.

Thanks yes I did get to the class and do feel better for it.

Thanks all, reading this thread has definitely helped my motivation tonight!

It's great to hear all your stories!

Well done curtains - glad you feel better now and that we could motivate you!

You're so right Verbena, I'm so much happier when I'm active physically and mentally! Have an amazing holiday - I definitely couldn't go sea swimming as I hate dark water (even get anxious on Gruffalo ride at Chessington 😳) but I hope you have fun!

Curtains well done! It’s a battle getting into gear after a tiring workday even if you’re not dealing with chronic pain. Hope you’re feeling suitably chuffed with yourself.

Feminist I don’t go so deep it’s dark! That would make me edgy as well. But love how alive outdoor cold water swimming makes me feel and haven’t managed to get in this year.

Just had a brainwave!!

I’m copying and pasting but this is it!!

Such a dick. How long was I into fitness before DD1 and yet with all this pain going on in my hip I didn’t twig that what I need is compression leggings.

I’ve ordered some, they’re on route and I am super happy!!

Basically my weight loss has sped up, dramatically because now my metabolism is faster and so, I tend to not stay still as much. I would LOVE to have a spy cam of me at Christmas time, I was literally sleeping 18 hours a day, veging out on the sofa, not really capable of doing more than walking my dog for 45 mins a day.

Now if I try and sit still, I can’t. My most ‘rested’ is after I’ve done 3 massages, an hour and a half dogs walk and cleaned the house.

Very different to where I was...

Anyway, because I am losing quickly, the fat that was tight and clinging to my joints (as well as my heart and other organs but my heart for re purpose of this) the ligaments are not as supported as they were and, because I’m hypermobile they are off to where ever they fancy stretch Armstrong style.

Some decent compression leggings should keep my body a bit closer, a bit wrapped.

I’m really excited about this, with gently modified training and dedication I am still absolutely determined to be both drug AND pain free by 2019.

Verbena I think it would make me feel amazing too although I did a little shriek today instinctively because my cold shower was too cold 😳 maybe I'll get into it one day!

Hope the leggings work for you Camel! I've heard some good things about them for aiding exercise in hypermobile people!

If I can go back to as in pain I was two stone ago it will be a huge relief

Good luck camel! I’ve got EVB shorts to try and support my bladder/womb prolapse - I think because they’re tight on my abdomen they actually make it worse, which is blooming irritating at £50 a pair. however, they did make my hips/pelvis feel much more stable before Pilates had started to do that job from the inside out, so I think you could be onto a winner using compression for joint stability. Fingers crossed.

Verbana I saw those shorts and would have got some had they been cheaper.

Be nice for the summer I’m sure

Sorry they’re not working for you. My whole SJ is loose and my diastasis recti are really wide so tight in the belly is what I’m going for really

Cantankerous it is possible! My rectus abdominus muscles were pushed really wide by pregnancies. So much so that surgery was advised at one point.

I didn't want that and ignored it for years. But a few years ago started having physio for other reasons and also doing a lot of Pilates and Yoga.

Now I am more toned in belly than I was as a teenager! (Though that would not be difficult)

Keep going, you'll get there!

I’m amazed I don’t have a separation after a 42 week pregnancy with a 10lb9oz baby - wonder if all the stress went down through my pelvic floor instead?! However, my sister had a big gap which is now totally gone so yep, you can heal it.

Hey, I’m in it for the long game (which is what I love about this thread - people here seem to have the same mindset)

It’s no longer about reaching a goal but about a continuous and positive understanding of exercise and an improving body.

I still have so much fat on my middle, I’m not even thinking about toning but I think I may buy a suitable belt/belly brace so I start training everything to stay together

I'm so glad that you lot found each other on this thread because I'd be useless with all your post baby fitness! But you all seem to be making great progress and that makes me really happy 💕

Thanks for starting it, AF

I find many other weight loss threads so demeaning. There is absolutely no chance I’m going to eat 1500 a day for the rest of my life or give up wine feel bad when I eat things I like.

Ugh I know, Camel, I find other threads on here so unhealthy and irritating. Some of them don't seem to realise that the recovery from exercise is as important as the exercise - you're going to do yourself no good going to the gym for hours and hours every day! 😡

So should I join SW this evening. I see there's one on at 7.30 near me. Ugh.

Don't really want to but know I need to lose two stone and realistically I can't do it alone. I'm very good during the day but then in the evenings..... Not so much. I have a DH who always has biscuits or crisps in the house and I lapse. I need more motivation than I have on my own.

Really don't want to get too caught up in it though.....

Yes and bordering on ana-celebrating. Lots of people discussing how long you can survive on one poached egg and a piece of tomato.

Just not how I want to live my life, ever.

Elspeth I know 3 women of different ages and sizes who have all reached their goal weight using slimming world, but I think it can be restrictive (probably to be expected) and also addictive (which is more worrying). But if you’re level headed and objective about weight, it could be worth a go.

I nearly joined (I’d like to get my weight to the bottom end of the ‘healthy’ BMI band to minimise the load on my knackered pelvic floor as much as possible) then my sister reminded me that I stop eating when I feel out of control in other areas of my life and it would be a terrible idea for me. Really glad I avoided as I think if you’re at all prone to disordered eating, the focus on weight-as-a-measure-of-success is really dangerous to your wellbeing.

BMI had me down as ‘overweight ‘ when I was boxing 5 days a week for 3 hours and cycling everywhere. It’s just not a reasonable scale for women post baby

Elspeth Number one, don't ever do anything that you dont really want to do unless it's super important, which joining Slimming World isn't! You can do this on your own, we're here to motivate you and give you any tips we have! Could you ask DH to keep his treats all in one place/box that's in a cupboard/on top of the fridge? This helped me stop getting tempted by other people's treats because I had to really think about whether I wanted it before I got it, rather than just grabbing it off the side.

Side note: isn't slimming world the one that says you can eat as many carbs as you like? Which is, clearly, a good life motto, but the only person I know who did slimming world ended up eating about 4 jacket potatoes a day, which I'm not sure would do anyone much good. I hate the rigidity of it too, all the different lists and groups and categories of food.

If you were feeling really excited and positive about it Elspeth I'd probably be like "Yeah go, just stay safe!" But it doesn't sound like you're that into it even before you've started.