Please help me get a grip on myself

[StealthPolarBear]

Since november/December I have been incredibly busy/stressed, loads of studying, kids starting new school, dh broken leg. I use food and alcohol to help myself through it. Everything calmed down about a month ago but I cannot stop eating. I know I am piling weight on and damaging my health. I have a close relative dying of a disease related to obesity. I am ashamed and frustrated.
I've done it before successfully. I just need to switch to flick. Please convince me I can an will get back to my sensible eating habits.

Could really do with some inspiration and moral support

No decent advice Stealth but that sounds tough.

I'm an emotional eater, I try just not having crappy food in the house but the kids just revolt.

What do you drink? Could you try to switching to a lower calorie one, beer to a spirit and diet mixer. Apologies if you have already thought of that.

I'm sorry about your relative

I drink Red wine. Tbh that has naturally declined now my stress levels have gone down. Although when I do drink I eat as well. I just feel a mess at the moment and out of control.
Thank you

Hi, I can see you have a lot going on and from experience I know that until your head is on board with a change in eating, and getting healthy it’s pretty hard to do.
What I try myself is watch people who have been successful. Look for blogs and articles and see how they did it. I don’t think there is one way for everyone but you need to find out that “something” that you are willing to follow. If it’s Weight watchers, slim fast, taking up running or whatever. You need to believe in doing it, before you get going. Let’s be honest once you get started it will get hard. There will be tough days and it’s during that time you get to remember why you chose to do it in the first place and choose to keep going. So look around online. Find some ideas and see what you want to do. Then you take steps to achieve it - buy food in, decide which foods and drinks you won’t purchase. In some cases have replacement foods - or have a healthy treat. Or decide a treat not food related when you reach a goal or need a pick you up. Then get going, keep busy and stick to it. If you need to keep an eye on others success stories. This might motivate you. Or stick a picture on your fridge of a healthier you. Maybe write out on cards some positive mantras (“I will make healthy choices”, “I can do this” “I am worth it” “I can do it”) you want to follow and tape them around your kitchen when you can read them every time you’re there - by the sink, Fridge, cupboard - and read them. Whatever it takes, find it and do it. Just get started preparing your brain for the change. You have lots of reasons to get started, you just need to see within you that you have the ability to do this. Come on, you can do it.

Really good advice from ItsalmostSummer

Would it help to track what you're eating? I'm less likely to binge when I'm tracking

Excellent thank you. Yes I think some success stories and a photo of me now vs a photo of me two years ago would really help.
It really does help to track and I use mfp. But at the nome t I can't even stick with that :(

Right. As of tomorrow I'm going to log everything and stick to 1800 a day. I know that's a lot but it'll get me back into the habit iyswim then I can reduce. I also will dig out some photos

I find My Fitness Pal really good. Put in your details & it'll tell you how many calories to have a day. At the moment I'm doing the 16:8 diet (only eating in an 8 hour window). Providing you eat enough throughout the day it's definitely doable

I use mfp. But at the moment I'm starting each day full of good intentions and giving up around lunchtimr

Maybe have your biggest meal at breakfast so you're not quite so hungry by lunch

This is going to sound really stupid. I can cope with hunger. I eat from habit, boredom and stress.

And weak willpower. By lunchtime it's calling to me.

I understand!! I eat when I'm bored or watching tv. So I'd eat loads of bags of crisps of an evening when me & DH can finally relax. That's the biggest issue for me, it's hard breaking that habit. Today I allowed myself a bag whilst watching tv after lunch. I'm hoping that'll be enough to get through my cravings tonight. I've been on holiday for the past week so I've let my diet slide, back to it today. I'm not going to beat myself up about it but instead remember how good I felt a couple of weeks ago & seeing I'd lost a few lbs. weekly weigh-ins help me keep going. Could you join something like WW where you get extra support?

The only eating plan that has worked for me in the last few years is the blood sugar diet (BSD). There are very helpful/supportive threads on here and they've definitely helped me to stay focused and to realise I can pick it back up when I fail rather than giving up completely.

MFP didn't work for me on its own. I need more rules and the extreme nature of BSD was the jolt I needed.

I'm not feeling up to trying something totally new. I don't have the enthusiasm. Which I probably do need :(
I'm back on mfp. So far it says I've eaten 1000 calories. But thsats fine. Even if I eat 2000 but get a grip on the binging it'll be progress at the moment.

Good advice on here. Totally get it Stealth and it was the pressures of children and ill relatives where my weight got really out of control.

Would using this thread as a daily diary help? Today is going well so that’s great. Are the DC old enough so you can cruise out and leave them a bit to do some exercise aka getting a bit of headspace ? It is so hard to carve out a bit of time for yourself when things are like this but I personally find it really helps.

I eat my emotions and binge eat. I can lose weight when my head is in the right space and can't the rest of the time. I hear you. (((Hugs)))

I would start by taking off the pressure to eat healthy or a certain amount and just log whatever you eat...junk and all.

Plus set MTP to maintenance calories, so you are just aiming to stay the same not lose. The higher maintenance calories will be easier to stay within and less likely to trigger binging.

Get into the habit of logging and weighing all portions daily.
I find just the act of weighing and logging makes me more mindful of food and helps me think about better choices even if I end up eating chocolate

Once you are regularly logging all food, try setting MTP to losing 1/2 pound a week calories and see how you go.

HTH

I manage my calories by planning simple healthy and low cal breakfast and lunch with no snacks.

I save my calories for my evening meal and to give me some calories to snack in the evening.

I snack a lot on popcorn and sorbet. I look forward to them.