How much weight can I loose in two weeks?!

[MarkBorrigan]

Oh dear. I have suddenly realised that I'm vair vair fat. And I have a dress fitting and an engagement shoot I know, wanky, but it's free the weekend after next. I'm getting married in September, for which I want to loose 2 stone minimum. But in the short term, how much can I crash off in 2 weeks? Help me, o' wise weight loss gurus! I'm fully committed to eating apples, lemon water, etc. All the usual shit, but please don't say cabbage soup
Don't tell me off - I know. After this two weeks I shall be doing it sensibly. Thank you!

I done celebrity slim for two weeks lost a stone look it up online it's quite restrictive but worth it I'm eating normal but healthy now and haven't gained so I'm pleased I can mentain the weight loss .

If you haven't been dieting at all you can lose a lot in the first 2 weeks a lot of it will be water weight but you will look a little slimmer. I'd say you would lose 10-14lbs if you are very strict. I'd do 800 cals a day low carb food e.g. meat and lower carb veggies. Stick to 2 meals a day it makes it easier to have a reasonable size meal.
After your 2 weeks go onto a normal low carb diet and you will have given yourself a kick start.

Thank you both! I've signed up to this app called Nutracheck where you count calories, it's given me a target of 1400 a day, but that seems a lot? I've had 1020 so far, but I might have a hartleys jelly pot in a minute. I think I'll aim for 1200, or will I not loose on that?