Spent the weekend with slim people and I now see why I'm overweight

[ChristmasTreeLight]

After having spent the weekend with slim people, it appears that they:

a) don't need as much food to feel full,
I couldn't believe that after X amount of food, they were full - I could have happily carried on eating.

b) can go much longer between meals without eating,
At one point in the afternoon, I was ready to gnaw my arm off, I asked if anyone wanted to stop for a snack (thinking they'd be starving) but no, they were happy to keep going

c) don't crave sweet stuff in the way I do.
I I need sweet things as pudding, I was almost desperate for some chocolate, whereas again they just did not seem to feel that urge.

I am a size 14 and they are 8-10 and now I can see why. It's led me to wonder is it something innate, something physical? Are you just born like that, not to have the appetite or the sweet tooth? Am I simply fighting a losing battle in the vain dream of being a size 10 one day?

Christmas keep up the good work! You will see a difference. I started like you on 1st May then got into LCHF and joined the bootcamp I think around mid sept. I've lost 2 and a half stone since 1 May. You will see a difference.

Not everyone who overconsumes is a slave to some genetic predisposition, or reeling from grief. Not by a long shot.

Absolutely. Surely the vast majority of overweight people simply get into the habit of eating a bit too much and choosing unhealthy foods because they taste nice and are readily available.

I am one of them. No major traumas in my life, no big sources of stress or misery (thank goodness). I simply like my food and find it hard to restrict it.

People often say that it is our stressful modern lives that cause us to overeat, but life was always stressful in in one way or another. What's changed is the type and amount of food available and our sedentary lifestyle.

I have genuinely (not in a smug way) never struggled with my weight and I have been known to eat a family size bag of crisis or a whole bag of biscuits in one sitting

However when I do so it makes me feel a little ill and I will often skip meals after a 'binge' not because I'm conscious or being 'good' but because I just don't have an appetite. I can skip meals without even noticing. Like today I had a massive dominos pizza for dinner last night, and just remembered it's lunchtime but I have no hunger pangs at all so will prob happily just wait until dinner.

I'm sure it's genetic as no one in my family is over weight and none of us count calories, or are even particularly food conscious. We genuinely eat what we want. And we do indulge at Christmas etc. (Although no one wants to eat anything on Boxing Day!) I guess the difference is we are genetically lucky that our bodies signal us to stop eating or to 'fast' so we don't have to go hungry, just simply stop feeling hungry for a while.

I feel genuinely very lucky, and wouldn't dream of judging someone who struggles with weight. We are all different!

Host you asked earlier if children are to be given three meals a day. I actually don't give DS three meals a day. I give him food when he's hungry. He's two, and I want to teach him to listen to his body. Some days he eats 4 or 5 meals a day (breakfast, lunch, tea, snack, supper) others two (breakfast and lunch). He's never made to eat anything he doesn't want, or finish his plate and most food presented is home made, nutritious and contains all food groups.

I eat the same as him, usually minus the carbs. Or with fewer of them.

Since reading this thread, I've started 16:8 (to delay my inevitable Alzheimer's), stopped snacking and only eat until I'm full, not until my plate is clear.

Next step is to clean up the diet.

Yay, really well done OP- that's fantastic.

I was horrified at work today ( school); I was eating lunch with some of the year 6 kids and they said that when they help out with the reception lunches there is one girl who will only eat the fruit and vegetables in her lunch box. She refuses the chocolate and crisps.

She is deemed not to have eaten enough and the older ones have to try and force her to eat the shit. They said it felt really wrong to try and convince someone to eat chocolate and crisps.

I think one thing that has changed in the last 30-odd years since I was growing up is that people seem to have an almost pathological fear of being hungry. Even peckish. It's like it's a bad or dangerous thing, whereas when I was a kid I regularly heard the phrase "hunger makes the best sauce" and people expected to be hungry before a meal. I guess we are all a lot less good at dealing with delayed gratification and food is a prime example

People need 'energy' now and to be 'hydrated'.
When I go to the shops I usually lots of discarded drinks containers dropped as litter. Why are all these people so thirsty?

I don't believe there are rules, aside the obvious of don't stuff yourself with crap.

I'm a size 6/8, weigh 54kg (massively top heavy (30E) ) and I eat lots and regularly. What I eat is mostly healthy and I exercise around 4 times a week but I also drink too much wine.

It's genetics for me. As for most people.

yes, I agree re the delayed gratification. People want everything immediately, as quickly as possible. They want the shops open as long as poss, online shopping, supermarkets 24/7 The fastest broadband. Access to all their tv shows whenever they want them.

They can't stand feeling a lack for anything and that includes food.

I think this also links in with culture of self entitlement that abounds. Many people believe it is their 'right' to have what they feel they want and therefore need as soon as they feel the urge and any delay in getting this is seen as cruelty and deprevation.

I totally agree about the delayed gratification, it just doesn't exist any more.

Well done for throwing the ice bun away OP. You have however made me want an ice bun!

I agree with this in relation to the kids. I don't carry "snacks" (fucking hate that word!), and if there is a meal I want DS2 to eat in his lunchbox, I restrict everything else in there, knowing full well that at lunchtime, if the only thing in his lunchbox is chicken fried rice and a yoghurt, he's going to eat it because he's starving.

I'm trying to keep my kids to 3 meals a day like I had growing up. Easier said than done with lunchbox fillers in the house, but once DS2 (3 years old) starts kindergarten he will have school lunches like Ds1 and means I can limit the cereal bars and other useless stuff in the cupboards.

DS1 is pretty good and eats vegetables and a variety of fruits.
DS2 is a little bugger and would happily live off chicken, waffles, cereal bars and can spot a millimeter of onion in spaghetti bolognese at 30 paces...

but I have yet to see any difference at all on the scales.... which is a bit annoying!!

It's a slow, gradual process.

The easiest, most tempting thing in the world is just to give up because you're not seeing results. Whereas the cake is right there, ready to give you instant pleasure.

It could take weeks before you do see results. It's hard and demoralising when that happens, but if you keep on this track, it will happen.

Christmas 2018 will roll around, and you can either be where you are now, or you can be in a different place. But you'll only be at that difference place if you stick at it, accept the falls from then wagon that will happen, and keep on going.

I say this as someone who's weight had crept up a bit over 2016. A photo taken on NYE spurred me into action, and over the course of this year, I've shifted 10kg and I'm back to my ideal weight. It hasn't been easy, and the early days are the hardest, because you're going without, but seemingly getting nowhere. But it does happen, if you just keep on keeping on.

I like the three meals a day thing because otherwise it's providing a running buffet. Meals are also about having time to sit together and talk. I do believe in having a degree of flexibility - there are times when children have growth spurts, and times when they are less hungry.

But I'm not of the opinion that encouraging a child to eat some of what is on their plate at mealtimes is a) an act of vicious oppression or b) the best way to promote eating disorders. It seems to me to be encouraging a degree of socialisation...

Otterturk, 30E isn't massive, unless the rest of you is impossibly tiny. Cutting out the wine might help though as they could be wineboobs.

I totally agree with you host of daffodils. I grew up one of 6, and meals were in the table at x time, you ate them ( quickly or no seconds greedy greedy brothers! ) and that was that. I cook, I expect my meals to be eaten, and I don't worry about the carb/ protein make up of my plates. 5 of us (all 30s/40s) are healthy ( one drinks too much) and I have never " banned" a food group in my life. It helps that I am an excellent cook ( tru fact) but honestly, the obsessing over food CAN'T be healthy. I think about my nan ( born 1905) and she was a roundish woman. She said, some people are skinny, some are round. We are all different shapes and thats the way God made us. If you are healthy, if you can run without getting too out of breath, if you can balance a child on your hip or bend to do up your shoes...then be grateful and enjoy your life!
A strong heart and good mental health is important. Being a size 8 ISN'T!

This is such an interesting thread. I do think a lot of it is habit-driven; I have got more in the habit of eating snacks in the last five years and I’ve gained a fair bit of weight. I never used to even think about eating between meals!

I'm convinced that's key. The not eating between meals

Bitoutofpractise I think it’s a combination of not eating between meals and really moderating your sugar intake.

I know some people will call that obsessive, but it is far too easy (and inexpensive) to have a very high sugar diet.

I don't snack much, but I've still put on weight because of what I eat for my meals.

The thirst problem is partly due to central heating, also in buses and trains.
When I was little we had one outside drinking fountain for the whole school. But wore dufflecoats in the winter and hand knitted woollen cardigans. People are breathing warmed air all the time which probably dehydrates them.
Perhaps that’s why people think they need coffee at all times of the day - dry mouths.

It is also interesting that houses used to be kept at 61F = 16C
In winter you ALWAYS wore jumpers and slippers indoors.
And only certain rooms were heated.
Therefore the body burned calories to keep itself going.

If your house has the heating set at above 18 your body will be burning less calories.

I am always shocked to go to houses where the heating is at 21/22 C and they are in bare feet and short sleeves in winter.

Turn the heating down, save money, lose weight.

@Ta1kinPeace similarly if you're slim and you ever complain about being cold, you get chastised for being skinny and told that you need to put on weight to have more insulation!

Just eating three meals a day isninterestjng, I got into the habit of having a mid afternoon snack (usually something like a muffin).

I had a bit of a reset a few months ago and for the first week or so I was SO HUNGRY in the afternoon and then just totally got used to it and wasn’t hungry and going until dinner no problem.

I've been thinking about the relationship between central heating and food/weight issues.

I wouldn't want to return to the days of draughty cold inadequately heated houses. But I wonder whether the ease with which houses can be heated is rather like the availability of processed/fast food. As if they encourage disordered behaviour.

In an era where houses were cold, and warm winter clothing was widely available - people wore woollies and weren't concerned to wear outfits that revealed their body shape - a certain level of fat consumption was necessary. There wasn't so much stress on foods being low-fat.

Also adults who are anorexic/borderline anorexic can mask the fact that they've overdone the food control by turning up the thermostat.