Spent the weekend with slim people and I now see why I'm overweight

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After having spent the weekend with slim people, it appears that they:

a) don't need as much food to feel full,
I couldn't believe that after X amount of food, they were full - I could have happily carried on eating.

b) can go much longer between meals without eating,
At one point in the afternoon, I was ready to gnaw my arm off, I asked if anyone wanted to stop for a snack (thinking they'd be starving) but no, they were happy to keep going

c) don't crave sweet stuff in the way I do.
I I need sweet things as pudding, I was almost desperate for some chocolate, whereas again they just did not seem to feel that urge.

I am a size 14 and they are 8-10 and now I can see why. It's led me to wonder is it something innate, something physical? Are you just born like that, not to have the appetite or the sweet tooth? Am I simply fighting a losing battle in the vain dream of being a size 10 one day?

Former - expat was saying it as a statement of fact. You have interpreted it as smug because you want to be slim.

I interpret it as smug because it is the assumption that just because they have never experienced a weight problem, there should be no excuse for others to have done. It completely lacks empathy. There's a whole wealth of experiences and problems I've never been affected by, that's no reason for me not to see how others could be affected by them.

And yes, of course one could say in a discussion about alcoholism “I have never had a problem with alcohol”. Again, a statement, but an alcoholic may interpret it as smug simply because they’re jealous

And no, you couldn't say that to an alcoholic unless you were a complete c.u.n.t...

I think the fact that some people eat a whole range of foodstuffs without dividing some into 'good' and 'bad' while consistently maintaining a stable healthy weight is relevant to the debate.

Former if you want to seriously lump alcoholism with what is essentially over eating - then go ahead but I think you’re clutching at straws

It's an analogy. It's not saying they're the same thing.

Thank you TheDowagerCuntess

And as for empathy for those that are overweight.

I have empathy for so many people out there, diseased, bereaved - the list is endless. Empathy for someone who can’t stop themselves eating a family sharing bag of crisps in one sitting? Whilst I don’t judge them, I sure as well don’t have empathy for them!

I have empathy for so many people out there, diseased, bereaved - the list is endless

I was bereaved at a very young age and put on weight comfort eating.

How's your empathy meter cope with that one hey?!

Agreed Expat
This thread has orthorexia written all over it.
Just like the beans on toast one yesterday, some people can't eat that without over thinking.
Or cereal, squash, milk, bread etc, etc.

Former - me too. Both my parents in fact.

I am sorry you suffered young. I empathise with your loss.

Empathy for someone who can’t stop themselves eating a family sharing bag of crisps in one sitting? Whilst I don’t judge them, I sure as well don’t have empathy for them!

Yeah, there's often a reason some people do this, while others don't.

And I say this as a slim person that you would probably judge - I'm not 'naturally', 'effortlessly' slim.

I'm slim because I work at it, think about what I eat, and deny myself much of the time. Going by some on this thread, that's seemingly 'bad'. I should just eat whatever I want, and magically not have a weight problem....

I think it's unwise to assume that because people are of average or below average weight they are necessarily happy. (Although if you are desperate to lose weight it's easy to think being thinner equals being happy.)

Many of the posters who talk about working at being slim, controlling what they eat, drinking water whenever they feel hungry, not needing food etc etc really don't sound terribly happy. As concerned with their size as someone who is obese in fact.

And those of us who are more middle-sized may very well have suffered loss or be battling various demons. (It's simply that the demons we are battling are not using food/eating as the theatre of war.)

I could easily go till about lunchtime on nothing but a cup of tea but then I start getting a bit hangry
My problem is snacking, even when I’m not hungry I go for snacks, I’m on my own in the evenings so I suppose it’s just comfort eating.
I sometimes try to go as long as I can untIll I actually feel hungry and sometimes I don’t even feel it but it’s the side effects for me, dizziness, irritable etc

What tosh about breakfast being manufactured by the cereal companies. In East Asia, breakfast is quite substantial is based on rice and veg and perhaps some protein. In the country where my roots are, breakfasts can be multi course, and are more important than lunch (in the past lunch did not exist really - breakfast and dinner). These countries are some of the most slim in the world.

In terms of cardiovascular health and alzheimer's prevention, the best lifestyle habit is vigorous exercise - not a leisurely walk, but moderate + at least 5 days a week. Better than intermittent fasting. In addition, vigorous exercise in this quantity adds healthy days to life - approximately 7 hours per hour of vigorous exercise. Also, this type of exercise is best for telomere health - rough translation of the science being that vigorous exercise 5 days a week (30 min for woman and 40 minute for men) slows ageing at the cellular level. Exercise is a better choice than fasting for optimal health for me, but that is my personal choice and other people are more than welcome to live their lives differently.

I have read form many sources that the current push for having breakfast as it stands come from the cereal companies.

Of course nearly all cereals are full of hidden sugars and salt, even those that puport to be 'healthy' and are actually no better than eating sugar-coated cardboard.

Apparently the current fashion for three meals a day came about in Victorian times.

We tend to think that we have always eaten the way we eat now. That's not the case.

In East Asia, breakfast is quite substantial is based on rice and veg and perhaps some protein.

So not Cornflakes then?

Breakfast cereal was widely promoted to discourage masturbation. Look it up. 1920s & earlier. Good Ol' Kellogg.

Back when most people had farming type jobs, the norm was to work for an hour or 2 after you got up, then come in for breakfast, then go back out to physical labour for many hours. Breakfast might just be some bread & butter if you were poor (with blood if not too poor), of course, gruel, grits, porridge, etc.

It's certainly true that eating patterns change. My German forebears would have two breakasts - one at about seven, then another around mid-morning. School children would eat this second breakfast at breaktime. Lunch would be at around two-thirty, when the children were home from school. (My grandfather would go home to eat this, I think and then return to his office.) Then there would be a lighter early evening supper.

I am sure that the amount and quality of food people eat - and when they eat it -has always varied according to wealth, social class. But food would be incredibly important to impoverished agricultural workers and factory workers doing long shifts. Also I'm not sure that employers would find it terribly convenient to have their employees fainting from hungers. So the idea that in the good old days one just lived off lightly and healthily off steamed veg, grilled fish and fresh air doesn't seem terribly probable.

Thank you. I think the different answers prove how complicated it is when you don't know.

Kellogg did indeed invent the "breakfast is the most important meal of the day" lie

Breakfast is great - I love it
but no meal is more essential than any other
and not all societies in time and space have "three meals a day"

and snacking was basically invented in the 70's by food manufacturers wanting to sell more 'product'

There is far too much food available to people in the west
therefore to stay a healthy size, it is necessary to exercise self restraint
which is hard work
but worth it for long term health

Exactly.

And I think restraint comes much more naturally / easily to some people, compared with others (who have to consciously exercise it).

I see there's been a comparison raised between overeating and alcoholism.

I realise that alcoholism is a sacred cow and we're not meant to judge, but behind lots of alcoholics I know there is a kind and supportive family that has gradually raised the alarm bell over the years as the addiction progresses, begged and pleaded, and so on.

It's not as though you wake up one morning and find yourself an alcoholic because you made a few bad decisions, or even scores of bad decisions. It takes years of self-abuse.

Same goes for obesity.

Not everyone who overconsumes is a slave to some genetic predisposition, or reeling from grief. Not by a long shot.

'Snacking' may have been invented in the 70s. But eating smaller meals between bigger meals has always been around. It just had a formal name and setting. Breakfast, elevenses, luncheon, tea/tiffin, dinner and supper. You would not have had them all in one day i doubt, but if you found yourself peckish you would always be near one of these times to eat under the label.

I'm one of three siblings. My older brother and I are much the same in terms of food. We enjoy eating, have three meals a day and don't diet. But by temperament I think we are just quite moderate and it also comes naturally to us to look after ourselves, take exercise etc. If we're stressed, we try and think our way through it, talk to friends, escape by reading a book. We can cook and enjoy making meals from scratch. My younger brother has always had a sweet tooth. He is the one who was always hassling my parents for more sweets. He likes coke, fizzy drinks, pies, pastries, chips.When he has difficulty at work, he finds that eating brings him comfort. There are no special tragedies in his existence - all three of us had broadly the same start in life .

I have just put some food in the bin. A spiced, iced bun from M&S. Last week I'd have eaten it, because it was there. Today, I assessed it, looked at the ingredients list and thought, "Hmm, do I really want 300 empty calories and all these weird additives, just because it's there?" And I decided I didn't, so I put it in the bin. Honestly this is huge. I've never done this before!!

I am being a lot more mindful this week, and I have DEFINITELY cut down on mindless eating of sugar/crap, but I have yet to see any difference at all on the scales.... which is a bit annoying!!