Spent the weekend with slim people and I now see why I'm overweight

[ChristmasTreeLight]

After having spent the weekend with slim people, it appears that they:

a) don't need as much food to feel full,
I couldn't believe that after X amount of food, they were full - I could have happily carried on eating.

b) can go much longer between meals without eating,
At one point in the afternoon, I was ready to gnaw my arm off, I asked if anyone wanted to stop for a snack (thinking they'd be starving) but no, they were happy to keep going

c) don't crave sweet stuff in the way I do.
I I need sweet things as pudding, I was almost desperate for some chocolate, whereas again they just did not seem to feel that urge.

I am a size 14 and they are 8-10 and now I can see why. It's led me to wonder is it something innate, something physical? Are you just born like that, not to have the appetite or the sweet tooth? Am I simply fighting a losing battle in the vain dream of being a size 10 one day?

I do feel hungry of course. But I'm trying to lose more weight so yes, I have to accept I will be hungry

I finally had a light dinner at 8:30pm!

Actually, when I had the late lunch at 2, one of my colleagues said she didn’t think she’d be able to eat any more today. I was really astonished and asked why. She said that she’s had a large breakfast (soup!) and a large lunch and simply didn’t think she’d be hungry tonight. I was

I was also when a couple of other colleagues started discussing how they are sometimes too busy to eat! One said that if she ate breakfast in the morning at the weekend then went out for the day and was busy all day, she’d come back home at 5 having not eaten. To which I replied, well wouldn’t you get hungry while you were out, and go to a cafe? She said no because she’d be so busy that she simply wouldn’t think to.

I was by far the largest sitting at that table

But the idea of having a large lunch and not eating later in the day as a result, or being too busy to eat, is just something I would never even contemplate. Which explains why I have a big fat bum.

Maybe people deal with hunger pangs better than others, I can go a long time feeling hungry probably because I can stretch out my 3 meals without snacks so I am used to it, going a couple of hours more doesn't really bother me, if I missed a meal I would just go til my next one. If your used to snacking and never feel really hungry your not used to that feeling and maybe don't like it so your reaction is to grab a snack.

She said that she’s had a large breakfast (soup!) and a large lunch and simply didn’t think she’d be hungry tonight. I was

Yeah, I'd take that with a pinch of salt. My parents do exactly that. They'll exclaim 'Oh no, we're not hungry for dinner, we had a big lunch.' Then half an hour later they'll eat a huge chocolate cake between them! Though one struggles with weight and one doesn't. My mother in law is even worse, she'll claim she doesn't eat at all for 3-4 days after overindulging at xmas, whereas really it's a weird puritan way of expressing her displeasure (and self-hatred) at the very idea of overindulgence. Clearly she does actually eat the days after xmas, just pretends to herself and others that she doesn't! I suspect we are each and every one of us a little bit deluded about when and how much we eat, especially when it comes to how we portray ourselves to others - but some more than others!

@WorraLiberty Sorry, by 'proper' meal I meant something substantial and probably hot. For example, having a bowl of pasta for lunch and then a meat & 2 veg dinner. Or a cooked breakfast in the morning like poached eggs & bacon, light lunch and a big dinner. I know plenty of people who regularly do this, especially the big breakfast and dinner at the weekend, but I rarely do. One big meal a day and two light ones, might be a better way to put it!!

Tell u when I do snack though, 2 days before I'm due on, I get a massive craving for sugary stuff I wouldn't normally eat, frangipani and almond slices

Cupcake I get you....I'm the same as you. Dinner at night is a cooked meal with meat or fish and veg and lunch and breakfast are just snacks...I don't generally have both anyway. Banana for breakfast, then if I have lunch it's a small soup or a salad.

Dinner is a cooked affair. I've noticed my friends who are both overweight will eat cooked breakfast or bacon sandwich, then a cooked lunch and a cooked dinner plus snacks inbetween.

If I snack then it's an apple or some nuts.

It's not deliberate...it's what I was brought up to do. We never had snacks as children other than apples or rarely, plums...cornflakes was my breakfast in summer, porrige in winter!

Dailymailbestforbums. Thanks for link to the Irish govt approach to fighting obesity.I thought it was an interesting read.

I think they have clearly identified what obesity actually is - a chronic condition of the subcortical area of the brain which increases hunger and reduces the ability to feel satiated after eating. It’s not greed, laziness etc. I’ve been fighting obesity for over 30 years, done every diet under the sun, just to end up fatter than before. At times I’ve felt like my body was fighting against losing weight making me more hungry and obsessed with food.

That this scourge is a distortion of the appetite and satiety messages from the brain makes sense to me. It also explains why most diets don’t work for most people. Why advise people whose appetite and satiety hormones are screwed, to go on diets that leave them more hungry and prone to bingeing. Surely, bringing appetite and satiety back in balance should be the focus of any obesity treatment. Without that, any weight loss will always be temporary.

Whether, in the future, this is managed through hormone treatment or more honesty in the food industry and public health providers about the foods that are screwing up this balance, who knows, but the sheer scale of the problem means it can’t be ignored or passed off as moral weakness much longer.

Please give us obese people a bit of a break. Just like we can’t really understand someone else’s pain thresholds, we can’t really compare our ability to bring our appetite under control with someone else’s. Yes , you might have fought to bring your weight under control and been successful, but perhaps, compared to your still fat friend, your brain wasn’t putting up that much of a fight against you.

Interesting article on fitness trackers, I'd be lost without my Fitbit and it has been really important in getting the weight off. I agree that ideally you would be able to regulate your appetite innately but for those off us who have been obese for years our eating can be so distorted it feels impossible to do this.

The data from my Fitbit is fairly accurate as if I eat at 3500 cal deficit over time my weight loss does average out about a pound a week, though obviously it isn't linear, just the overall trend. Having an idea of energy expended puts me in control of my food. I had no idea just how inactive I could be on a Sunday, was shocked to find if I didn't walk the dog I could clock up less than 2000 steps and I could easily eat double what I burned off.

Now I have access to the data this may on occasions still happen but I know where I'm at and I'll compensate other days of the week.eg. This Sunday was a lazy day, I did under 2k steps and burned 1700 cals but ate 1914. However yesterday was 18,500 steps, burned 2750 and ate 1980 cals giving a deficit of 550 cals in the bank which along with 843 on Saturday gives me some in the 'bank' to deal with Christmas meal tonight plus some left over towards a deficit this week or to eat so the week works out as a maintain if other things crop up.

This wouldn't suit a lot of people to track like this but the food logging takes a few mins a day now and I spend about 2 mins in the morning recording difference between Fitbit and Nutracheck. I guess I'm consciously doing what a lot of people do automatically but years of dieting and distorted eating have screwed up in me. I'm resigned to doing this for the rest of my life if that's what it takes to maintain the loss this time but will try at some point to see if I can gradually have some days in the future where I don't log and see if I can do it without the numbers.

christmas it sounds like there’s s culture of competitive non-eating in your office (well, saying they’re not eating anyway). I’d take it with a huge pinch of salt (and vinegar crisps).

Sorry, by 'proper' meal I meant something substantial and probably hot. For example, having a bowl of pasta for lunch and then a meat & 2 veg dinner. Or a cooked breakfast in the morning like poached eggs & bacon, light lunch and a big dinner.

Those things aren’t necessarily bad or particularly calorific though. I often take a small portion of leftover pasta for lunch. It’s no worse than sandwiches and keeps me full. Eggs are great for breakfast, and poached eggs with grilled lean bacon is a pretty healthy breakfast (not everyday because of the processed meat).

The best way to eat like a lean person is to

avoid all snack foods
avoid drinking more than a couple of days a week
try to stay within the alcohol guidelines
serve smaller portions

or in other words, eat how we did before the food industry found ways to persuade us to over consume

YY Purple. A sandwich plus cake or crisps could easily be far more calorific than a meal such as curry, stew, casserole, pasta and sauce, anything meat or fish and sauce based that is eaten hot.

And I find hot food much more satisfying than sandwiches, which would leave me hungry and looking to snack not long afterwards.

A good 'eat like a slim person' tip would probably be to not eat sandwiches if you can help it and concentrate on meals made from lean meat or fish and vegetables, eggs and pulses.

In fact, that's more or less the basis of the Slimming World diet, which allows hardly any bread, crisps and cake, and as much fruit, veg, eggs, pulses and lean meat and fish as you like.

I was also shock when a couple of other colleagues started discussing how they are sometimes too busy to eat! One said that if she ate breakfast in the morning at the weekend then went out for the day and was busy all day, she’d come back home at 5 having not eaten.
I do this sometimes. I notice I eat far less when I am v busy and miss those cues to eat like doing the usual things around lunch/dinner. If I'm doing something else It doesn't trigger my hunger. When I dropped breakfast on 16:8 for a couple of months, I found that if I didn't come into the kitchen in the morning and just got ready upstairs(DH kindly brought me tea) then I didn't get hungry and lasted until 11 before any tummy rumbles which I threw more tea on and then went till 1 before I ate again.

I'm a slim person, although recently my weight has been creeping up and I'm not convinced my diet is as healthy as it could be. I do find if I'm busy I can go a lot longer between wanting food than when not. My DCs are normally up around 6:30, and I have breakfast then. If I'm at home with them, mid-morning they'll want a snack, and I'll have something too, and then lunch is more like noon, which I'll feel hungry for too. On days they are at school and I'm out of the house, I can happily go from breakfast until 1:30-2pm without feeling hungry (so long as I've had a protein heavy breakfast, not sugary crap).

This is probably why I end up gaining weight every school holiday. Must not give in to the snacks this christmas hols!

This thread is so interesting. I'm like you OP - a size 14/16, all weight goes to my bum and thighs and my calves are too big to fit in boots. I found once I got past a size 12, weight crept on my upper arms too, and now I hate them. I am definitely overweight (and yes, I struggle to bend over, do up my shoes, climb stairs, so I'm suffering from it too. And my pelvic floor is worse when I weigh more).

I'm constantly eating though. I don't just graze, I graze then eat 3 meals too. I'm never hungry, I don't need to be hungry to eat, I never forget to eat. I like eating (rather than just liking food). So I know why I'm overweight. I just eat too much.

I do think some people are naturally more inclined to not eat, having a preference for healthier foods, getting fuller faster, not feeling the need to eat beyond fullness, feeling satiated on less. And are therefore slimmer 'naturally' and more easily.

There are then people who deliberately restrict themselves in order to maintain their preferred weight. They have will power and drive, which makes the desire to be a certain size/weight/ look more important than the desire for a certain food/ desire to be lazy and not exercise. They are slim because they work for it.

I find losing weight incredibly difficult. I hate denying myself things, it makes me miserable. Being overweight and not fit in to my clothes or look how I want to look also makes me miserable. When miserable about weight outweighs miserable about not eating, I lose weight, then it tips the other way and I gain it all again.

I don't crave certain foods. I just want all foods, all the time. My portion control is non-existent.

When I diet I have to be very restrictive, I can't have some of something and leave the rest. It's all or nothing.

I'm trying 16:8 after a recent illness has zapped my appetite - I've lost 5lbs in 3 weeks simply because I haven't wanted to eat, I'm going to try and ride the coat tails of it!

Hi everyone

I haven't read everything or remembered much but something must have gone in.

I had strange food for breakfast but it was filling. I then walked with the dog for 80 minutes. Home, then shopping, wrapped presents then another half hour walk with the dog. Between breakfast and now I've had a cherry tomato and a walnut whip. Late lunch now as out and I'm having a prawn pasta salad without the prawns, thanks dd, but with a couple of pieces of pastrami and a squirt of mayo.

Dinner is about six so dh will be home and only have to cook once but with late lunch I'm planning on a smaller portion.

So I guess, I was too busy to eat but what was weird was I wasn't hungry.

I know a couple of ladies who are slim (so am I) and when eating together they eat all of their food but with others they don’t eat all of it as they don’t want to look greedy in their words! I eat a whole meal so I don’t need to snack. If I only eat a small amount of my meal I need a snack later.

This is such an enlightening thread and has definitely showed me some ways I'm going wrong.

Eating as much as DH for a start. Eating sweet things with him in the evening just cos he's having something. Loading up on carbs. Inhaling toast in the mornings without thinking cos it's quick and I'm flying around getting kids ready. Always huge portions, always cleaning my plate (thanks Mum and Dad!)

Today I have eaten no toast and ate an omelette for lunch instead of a sandwich. And when DH suggested something sweet with an afternoon cup of tea, I realised I wasn't hungry and actually declined!

It really makes you think about how big a role mindless habit has to play.

It is actually surprising how little food most people need per day. Obviously there are outliers, but most people need very little.

For most people, in sedentary jobs, they need very few calories. So few, that you do sort have to be a little bit aware of what you're taking in, not to have weight creep on.

Did anybody mention sleep?Because so many people here wake up at dawn, I don't think they're getting 8 hours. I read years ago how sleep deprivation slows metabolism. And this is just an example:
www.webmd.com/diet/sleep-and-weight-loss#1

I don't really have anything invested in wanting to be slim and making a virtue of denial. To me that's too close to 'Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.'

I also despise the practice of leaving expensive food in restaurants. It seems obscene. In a cheap place with ludicrous portions - eg enough chips for 3 people - I might leave something. With the children I'd encourage them to try and eat reasonable helpings. (It's all too easy for them to say, 'I'm not hungry' if it's not their favourite dinner and then come whinging for crisps 30 minutes later.)

As a menopausal woman I am keen to stay fit and healthy. For me this is achieved by cooking most foods from scratch. It seems to me that processed food tends to be high in poor-quality/unsatisfying ingredients.

I only usually eat dark chocolate with a high cocoa content. (It really is quite difficult to eat more than a square of it.

I never drive short distances, when I can walk instead. I drink about two half-glasses of wine a year.

I've never really looked at slim people and recognised that they make an effort to stay slim. Denying themselves stuff. I guess I have been very lucky in my upbringing for food to be well balanced and now totally engrained like that so I never feel I have to deny myself anything. Or maybe it's metabolism I'm lucky with because if I want a whole bag of marshmallows I'll eat it. That would be pretty rare. My portion sizes are big too but I hate anything processed which helps me eat well I guess.

So I think there's quite a few things at play. Food culture, undividual metabolism, on/off button...

Yesterday I had my normal breakfast of coffee and cigarettes , at 1pm I stopped at the shop to buy lunch and bought my normal meal deal of sandwich , drink and crisps , plus a packet of beef slices and a packet of biscuits . I ate all the beef on the short drive back to the office

If you asked me before I bought all this food if I was hungry and I stopped and thought about it , I would probably have said no and definitely no after the beef ! But I still ate the sandwich and crisps and four of the biscuits and then felt uncomfortably full , even before ramming the biscuits in . What I probably really needed was the drink , fives hours without a drink , I was probably more in need of the fluid than the food , given how obese I am , my body has plenty of reserves to fall back on