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Weight loss chat

A space to talk openly about weight loss journeys and challenges. Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. You may wish to speak to a medical professional before starting any diet.

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Original poster

Spent the weekend with slim people and I now see why I'm overweight

717 replies

ChristmasTreeLight · 03/12/2017 17:07

After having spent the weekend with slim people, it appears that they:

a) don't need as much food to feel full,
I couldn't believe that after X amount of food, they were full - I could have happily carried on eating.

b) can go much longer between meals without eating,
At one point in the afternoon, I was ready to gnaw my arm off, I asked if anyone wanted to stop for a snack (thinking they'd be starving) but no, they were happy to keep going

c) don't crave sweet stuff in the way I do.
I I need sweet things as pudding, I was almost desperate for some chocolate, whereas again they just did not seem to feel that urge.

I am a size 14 and they are 8-10 and now I can see why. It's led me to wonder is it something innate, something physical? Are you just born like that, not to have the appetite or the sweet tooth? Am I simply fighting a losing battle in the vain dream of being a size 10 one day?

Hmm
OP posts:
Ta1kinPeace · 04/12/2017 19:36

Nope, it makes complete sense
comfort food with clear portions
So :
breakfast - keep it just tea or coffee
lunch : a small jacket potato with a bit of really nice strong cheese, or a little plate of antipasto just for you
supper : macaroni cheese with steamed fish - your comfort food, and healthy and easy to make.
Your kids are lucky that you love to cook for them.
Make lunch your "me" meal - even if its small, but its just for you Smile

frogsoup · 04/12/2017 19:40

www.theguardian.com/technology/2016/sep/21/fitness-trackers-may-not-aid-weight-loss-study-finds

Calorie counting type behaviour and intensive tracking sounds potentially counterproductive. I think many of us who keep to healthy weights without much conscious effort do so by being aware of our bodies and what it feels like when we are full vs when we have overeaten. A fitness app won't really develop that.

RosyWelshcakes · 04/12/2017 19:41

OP, I understand. I was recently away in one of the poorest countries in the world and what food there was repulsed me to the extent I came back 5 kilos lighter after two weeks away - I wasn't on holiday. For the first time in a long time I felt what real hunger was. I now know I can eat a lot less than I eat at home and that what I used to think was hunger was in fact not having passed time by eating something.

It was a wake up call and a lesson learned.

ElephantsandTigers · 04/12/2017 19:46

Ta1kinPeace - I don't like tea or coffee but do like hot chocolate. I drink a lot of water and very little alcohol.

I'm definitely doing the lunch suggestion as I can manage that. Dinner is harder as dh is fussier than me and I'm trying to make it so we all eat the same as 8m fed up of cooking twice every night. Kids would eat at 5 and dh and I at 7 but the kids are older now and dh home earlier.

Thank you.

Mominatrix · 04/12/2017 20:04

frog, I do agree that fitness trackers may not be a perfect tool for weight loss, and I have one definitely not for weight loss, but it is useful for those who have no idea of what their daily active energy really is and would allow those who have a distorted sense of how much energy they really are expending in their day to day life get a more reasonable handle on this.

I do love mine, but that is because I love data and I finally was able to get an accurate idea of my resting heart rate (47!) as well as being able to keep track of my 1 minute and 2 minute recovery times after exercise. The other data is extraneous to me, but really was an eyeopener as I did not really know what my activity level was.

HamSandWitches · 04/12/2017 20:10

I dont snack, was brought up on 3 square meals a day, you ate that and got nothing else so I guess its just stuck, I eat a meal and feel full til the next one. I don't bring my kids up like that, they can eat what they want when they want, probably spend a lot more on shopping than my parents. I'm 5 ft 7, a size 8

malvinandhobbes · 04/12/2017 20:11

I have two kids very close in age who we have raised very similarly.

The oldest eats like a bird - he can recall the two times in his life when he overate and how terrible that felt. He will turn down dessert if he's not hungry - he doesn't deny himself because he just doesn't want it.

The younger loves his food. He eats for joy and comfort. He's a bit rounder. He's more like me. He has to be very careful about food and actively deny himself.

I can't see that I had much to do with either of them - they have been like this since they were small.

whyhastherumgone · 04/12/2017 20:16

This is a really interesting thread. i'm currently at my heaviest after being pregnant and sadly having to have a tfmr at five months. My appetite has decreased quite a bit so i'm trying to make sure i eat as healthily as i can but i feel like i've lost my way a bit and really want to lose weight. Interesting reading has given me a lot to consider. I think i'm going to low carb it as much as i can.

thenewaveragebear1983 · 04/12/2017 20:36

This thread is really interesting, and I want to come back to it and reread.

I am Overweight because I eat when I'm not hungry. When I have successfully dieted before it had been when I have experienced hunger between meals, not stuffed myself, not grazed, not snacked on the evenings. There are myriad reasons why I do this, but I know and I'm really aware of the fact that I eat food when I don't need to. I think this is why I feel so out of control around food, because I know I don't need it and yet I still eat it.

I'm not hugely overweight, I'm a size 12, and maintain my weight well, but I'd love to lose 1.5st to be a size 10 and enjoy being slim for once rather than always being the biggest person everywhere I go (I have lots of skinny friends)

frogsoup · 04/12/2017 21:40

I think eating with the kids actually doesn't help, for me - it's the one time I effectively am forced to ignore my appetite. It's easiest for us all to eat together at 6.30, when I'm usually not that hungry but eat because it's there and it's dinner! But then I am ravenous by bedtime. Whereas left to my own devices I would have a small mid-afternoon snack then not eat until 9.30ish, and obviously not then need another snack before bed.

JonSnowsHair · 04/12/2017 21:55

Those people who have done or are doing the 16:8 diet, how does it help? I don't understand why it would make a difference - surely you're just eating the same number of calories over a shorter time?

The science behind it is it gives your digestive system a long break. It’s not good for your stomach to be constantly digesting, and it helps to burn more fat.

For me, it completely removes the need for snacks. If I eat breakfast at 8, lunch at 12 and dinner at 7, there’s no way I can go from 12-7 with no food. I would need a snack. Whereas if I do 16:8 I eat breakfast at 11, lunch at 2 and dinner at 7. I don’t need any snacks at all.

For me it’s a lot more sustainable than 5:2. I burn a lot of energy, there’s no way I can subside on 500cals a day. But fasting for 16 hours is totally manageable and you still get the same benefits as 5:2.

ivykaty44 · 04/12/2017 22:18

Curious about stomach shrinking - so I googled it and it’s interesting

lizzieoak · 04/12/2017 22:24

That’s interesting about the meal spacing. I eat at 8:00 am, a few squares of very dark chocolate and tea around 10:30, lunch at 1:30, dinner at 5:30. I never eat after dinner unless a very rare party comes up (a few times a year). So that sounds round about what you’re suggesting.

LoniceraJaponica · 04/12/2017 22:32

How can you be hungry at 5.30 if you have only had lunch at 1.30? Do you have a very tiny lunch?

I can't do the 16:8 on work days. I need to eat breakfast before I leave the house, and obviously I can't eat tea at work.

frogsoup · 04/12/2017 22:40

That's four hours - perfectly reasonable time after a meal to feel peckish again!!

BitOutOfPractice · 04/12/2017 22:43

Frogsoup so it may not work for you.** But do you realise how smug you sound?

Do you use an alarm? I don't.* I could say I think alarms are for lazy people who simply haven't trained their bodies not to need one.* But that would make md sound like a twat

BitOutOfPractice · 04/12/2017 22:46

Oh god this bold asterisk shit issue is so annoying @TimMumsnet . Constantly making me look like a twat 😡 please sort it out

Doseydots · 04/12/2017 22:49

I do 16:8, eat breakfast at 9, lunch between 12 and 1 and tea at 5. I am 5ft9 10.5 stone and eat large meals. Doing 16:8 gives my tummy a rest. Also gives me so much energy. I haven’t had a winter cold since starting this 4 years ago.

frogsoup · 04/12/2017 23:02

I don't mean to sound smug - like I have said, I find keeping to a healthy weight much harder than I used to. Did you actually read the article? It says that in a controlled trial, people using them don't lose weight as fast as those who don't! I was trying to say that appetite control needs to become something innate, and that relying on an app isn't necessarily going to help with that. Crikey...

LoniceraJaponica · 04/12/2017 23:17

That's four hours - perfectly reasonable time after a meal to feel peckish again!!

Not for me. It takes me about 6 to 7 hours to build an appetite between lunch and tea, unless I have had an exceptionally light lunch.

HamSandWitches · 04/12/2017 23:23

Same here, if I had a decent lunch at say 1pm I wouldn't have tea until 6/6.30 with nothing in between, I would have a proper lunch though and eat til I was full then have an appetite for a proper tea and eat it all then feel full so wouldn't need to snack

Ollivander84 · 04/12/2017 23:27

Lonicera - that's pretty much why I do 16:8! If I have breakfast, I don't eat tea so my eating hours would be 6am - 2pm

LoniceraJaponica · 04/12/2017 23:33

Hmm. I'm not sure that I could go from 2pm until bedtime without feeling hungry.

frogsoup · 04/12/2017 23:33

Ok Lonicera but there's no need to feign wide-eyed surprise at the idea that somebody might feel hungry after 4 - it is a perfectly reasonable gap as you must know.

TheDowagerCuntess · 04/12/2017 23:33

I agree that we're supposed to get joy from food, and that we should enjoy it. But that only applies up to a point, which the OP has been clear-sighted enough to pick up on.

Yes, delicious food is one of life's joys, but being overweight isn't. Or, at least, it isn't for many people.

I am not one of those lucky, effortlessly slim people. I do deny myself food when I often actually want it, and I do experience hunger on a daily basis.

However, as much as food gives me joy (and if definitely does, as does Wine), being slim gives me at least as much 'joy'. I love clothes, and fitting into nice clothes makes me happy, as shallow as that might make me.

Food gives me momentary joy, but being slim is a constant that I get more longer-term satisfaction from. And yes, that means denial and self-restraint. Which is hard. Really hard sometimes.

In fact, it's because food gives me so much joy that 5:2 is a way of life for me. I get to enjoy it with a little bit of abandon over the weekend, and then rein it right back during the week.