Spent the weekend with slim people and I now see why I'm overweight

[ChristmasTreeLight]

After having spent the weekend with slim people, it appears that they:

a) don't need as much food to feel full,
I couldn't believe that after X amount of food, they were full - I could have happily carried on eating.

b) can go much longer between meals without eating,
At one point in the afternoon, I was ready to gnaw my arm off, I asked if anyone wanted to stop for a snack (thinking they'd be starving) but no, they were happy to keep going

c) don't crave sweet stuff in the way I do.
I I need sweet things as pudding, I was almost desperate for some chocolate, whereas again they just did not seem to feel that urge.

I am a size 14 and they are 8-10 and now I can see why. It's led me to wonder is it something innate, something physical? Are you just born like that, not to have the appetite or the sweet tooth? Am I simply fighting a losing battle in the vain dream of being a size 10 one day?

She asked if I wanted one or two weetabix. I've never contemplated just one

My niece and nephew Who are 3 and 18mts eat two weetabix. One weetabix isn't breakfast!

I have a friend who is a slim build , although if she does put on weight it tends to go to her bum and thighs .I am fat , most of which is around the chest and stomach , so apple shaped .
I never eat breakfast , ever , 6 coffees and 6 fags is my start to the day . She wakes up ravenous and eats .
When we go away together I will always plan a stop at a services that has an M&S to stock up on food to take to our mutual friends as I constantly worry there wont be enough food , also get up early and hit the local supermarket to stock up once we are there .
When we are away , I can happily go until 4pm without eating as long as I get my coffee/fag rations , she is eating her own arm in hunger by 1pm , even after eating breakfast .
Sounds like I eat less right ? When I do eat , I eat and eat and eat until I can literally fit no more in , she eats, feels satisfied and stops .
I am a size 20/22 and she is 10/12

I think we have stopped listening to our bodies. I am trying to learn when I am satisfied but find it so hard not to clear the picture plate, it seems so wrong to throw food away.

I had dinner with an Italian family on Sat night. We had miniscule bits of bread with scrapings of pâté with ONE drink: dinner was a small piece of lasagne (not heaving with meat and sauce) about the size of a pack and a half of cards, followed by one chicken thigh (deep fried) and a salad, pudding was a modest slice of v rich dark chocolate cake & one spoon of cream. One bottle of wine between 6. The other guests were French. Guess which nationality was size 16 and which two were a size 8 . Seriously though, did get me thinking.....

For me the reality is that being slim is more important to me than it is to many of my friends. It take motivation and discipline but to an outsider I would look like the slim people the OP refers to. Of course I want seconds and pudding and to stay in bed instead of getting 5 miles under my belt by 7am but because I like to be slim it's now become a habit to eat less, avoid naughty foods and incorporate a lot of exercise into my week. I'm not smug about it, I don't care how others live, its just the choices I make for myself because of what is important to me.

I have lost 4 lbs in 2-3 weeks without trying by eating a low carb diet.
So you can eat as much eggs, meat, veg - salad and cooked, but not cakes and biscs or cereals so boiled egg little piece of bread for breakfast, celery/pate on one oatcake/nuts for snack, home made veg soup for lunch little bit of toast. Meat /fish and veg for dinner, small creme caramel for pud.
No sweets, biscs, cakes (except special occasions). You aren't starving but you miss the comfort foods. And I got a bit of indigestion due to all the nuts. But it works.
I say I lost weight without trying because I wasn't left starving or craving stuff (or not too much) which is what usually happens which makes me cheat!

It’s interesting - food is meant to be a joy, but if I’m being honest with myself, I don’t enjoy eating for the sake of it, I don’t enjoy feeling uncomfortable when I’ve polished off all those chocolates

Exactly. I think it's important to really enjoy what you have, and getting into the mindset where you are obsessing over food types and calories is deeply unhealthy.
Focus on the way you feel physically when you don't gorge, or when you eat something more nutritious NOT the way you look as compared to other people.

Interesting. It's drinking that makes me give up on a diet usually. On top of the alcohol calories it makes me eat a lot more to soak it up.

Yes, i think that is true for most people. But for me it totally suppresses my appetite and i can't face food at all the next day as i often feel queasy. I usually lose weight over xmas periods because that's when i drink most.

As i said, i'm thinnest now but really unhealthy. Totally not eating well at all. It just seems like another chore. So altho i'm eating crap - it just isn't enough crap. When i eat well i put on weight because i eat huge portions as the food is so nice.

There was that programme Supersize vs Superskinny and the preconception was the thin person would have the best diet. But in almost all of them i saw the thin person ate terribly, just a mars bar and coke a day or something and was seriously deficient in nutrients. Often the supersize person ate better, just with no off switch. Like on secret eaters. It's easy to not count things you just pop in your mouth.

I really feel for people who have a sweet tooth. That must be torture. DH and DS2 love sweet things and they will never be naturally thin because they are just drawn to it. DS1, like me, can have a bit, but would rather something savoury and DD wont eat pudding at all. DS2 only eats his dinner so he can get to the good stuff!

GlitteryFrog: and children are growing by a huge % of their own weight, building muscle and bone.

I wouldn’t eat more than one Weetabix for breakfast, as a stopped-growing office-based adult.

Hi,
I love food and have at times been skinny and at times struggled with my weight, so I understand both! When I followed slimming world pre-pregnancy (the only official diet I've ever done), my sugar cravings disappeared and I was no longer ravenous at 4pm.
There's no 'I was born with this' situation sadly, it's habit and food choices. Salty/sugary/fatty foods make you crave more of this same.
That said, nothing wrong with being a size 14, we all make our choices - it's which thing you want more. Good luck x

I think it's only right to add, I was eating a crumpet soaked in butter while I typed that. 'It's which thing you want more' is easier said than done.

I have not read the whole thread but the biggest revelation for me is that I should not eat until I am full but just until I am nolonger hungry.

I’m finding the 5:2 is re-setting my appetite and view on food.

Those people who have done or are doing the 16:8 diet, how does it help? I don't understand why it would make a difference - surely you're just eating the same number of calories over a shorter time?

I would like to know as well.

I'm a size 6-8 and have a strong preference for healthier foods, ie, unsweetened porridge/eggs for breakfast/salad or homemade soup for lunch, something homecooked with veg or beans for dinner. I avoid normal bread but have rye bread occasionally. I think my portions are average. I will have something sweet daily or when I fancy it, like a yoghurt, dark choc, or bit of cake. Occasionally crisps. We have a ton of snack/junk food in the house and I don't feel drawn to it.

Largely, I only eat when I'm hungry, don't really snack, and I stop eating when I'm full. I don't obsess or enjoy food that much - it fills a need really. If I'm worried, depressed or anxious I can't eat. I run a few miles every other day.

@Jenala - "approx 65% of calories from fat, 25% protein, 10% carbs"

Please could you tell me the sort of meals that would give those percentages?

I'm struggling to keep the carbs down and the fats up when I attempt low carb eating.

Most of the naturally thin people I know eat a lot but are very active. My in-laws eat giant portions and always have pudding, they don't understand how I can be overweight when I can't finish three courses.

The people in the OP and posters on here talking about never finishing meals, skipping meals and counting nuts sound more like my BILs wives who are always actively trying to stay thin.

See I am slim (less than I used to be, but still size 10-12) and I don't recognise the attitude to food that you describe. I love my food and if it's something I particularly love I will eat vast quantities of it. On the other hand, it's true that I can go long periods without particularly thinking about food, and I know instinctively if I've overeaten one day so am pretty good at self-regulating my intake. I do worry about portion control in a way that I didn't used to though, because I guess my metabolism is shifting as I get older.
Re the women eating a quarter of a steak, I think there is some slightly dubious pulling wool over eyes going on. Some of the supposed accounts of 'this is how much I eat in a day' from slim people add up to about 1000 calories max, they'd be dead within months on that. What they say they eat and what they actually eat are two different things. Excessive emphasis on portion control I think leads people with weight issues to cut back drastically at mealtimes, but then snack on sugar because they are starving an hour later. I see it with my DM. My strategy is to eat a good amount at meals, enough to fill me up for four hours. That cuts the sugary snacking urge.

I do think naturally slim people do a lot more unconscious exercise.

I did a step challenge with someone at work who is very slim and her normal number of steps per day - bearing in mind we both have sedentary desk jobs - was 20000!

Still have no idea how she fits it in . I managed 20k per day for the week of the challenge (and not so coincidentally lost a couple of pounds) but the walking took up at least 2 hours per day.

No it isn't just that. I ate vast amounts when I was younger and just didn't put on weight. Now at 40 I can't any longer. There must be some metabolic difference at play rather than just a simple in/out equation, or else why the change?

I think in this country we’re conditioned to eat a lot of carbs, I know my parents (born late 40s and mid 50s) Wouldn’t dream of serving up an evening meal without either potatoes (in one form or another) or pasta.

@Amory I’ve found Pinterest really useful in sourcing recipe ideas that fit with the Whole 30 ethos, this one is a particular favourite - chorizo and sweet potato frittata www.paleorunningmomma.com/paleo-sausage-sweet-potato-frittata/

I’ve totally fallen off the bandwagon in my sleep deprived state but once DS is sleeping a bit better I intend to get back on it with a vengeance. For now I fear I am fuelled by caffeine and sugar

It's definitely a mix between nature/habit. Not all skinny/ slim people are the same and same for larger people.

But just to add to the habit side. With my DC2 I gave up cooking separate pasta and potatoes etc without salt. I've just stopped putting salt into most things.
My DH was up in arms about this, as previously. "It won't taste the same adding salt after " blah blah blah.

8 months later we are all used to it and even he does not salt a lot of things being cooked or we put much less into meats and sauces.
We have both stopped enjoying eating out at quite a few places because of how salty the food is. It's incredible! I mean you always know that it's more salty but we've had a few places where it just felt like nothin but salt.
My point is that you
a) can get used to these things and break habits but like most things it takes time
b) your perception will change only after a h habit change. Do you might have to go blind into "I have to cut this out" even if you have no confirmation straight away from your habits that this is so