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A space to talk openly about weight loss journeys and challenges. Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. You may wish to speak to a medical professional before starting any diet.

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Original poster

Spent the weekend with slim people and I now see why I'm overweight

717 replies

ChristmasTreeLight · 03/12/2017 17:07

After having spent the weekend with slim people, it appears that they:

a) don't need as much food to feel full,
I couldn't believe that after X amount of food, they were full - I could have happily carried on eating.

b) can go much longer between meals without eating,
At one point in the afternoon, I was ready to gnaw my arm off, I asked if anyone wanted to stop for a snack (thinking they'd be starving) but no, they were happy to keep going

c) don't crave sweet stuff in the way I do.
I I need sweet things as pudding, I was almost desperate for some chocolate, whereas again they just did not seem to feel that urge.

I am a size 14 and they are 8-10 and now I can see why. It's led me to wonder is it something innate, something physical? Are you just born like that, not to have the appetite or the sweet tooth? Am I simply fighting a losing battle in the vain dream of being a size 10 one day?

Hmm
OP posts:
TheOriginalNNB · 03/12/2017 17:09

I think you have a point with the sugar thing.

Not eating it regulates your appetite and eradicated sweet cravings... ergo you eat less

7to25 · 03/12/2017 17:13

Strangely I had the same revelation a couple of weeks ago at a ladies night dinner with a fixed menu.
Nobody finished their food. The main was a lovely steak (small) and I was the only one to finish. Most people ate a quarter of the steak. Half the starter and no dessert.

Codlet · 03/12/2017 17:13

It may be partly something you’re just born with, but I think it’s mainly habit. If you got out of the habit of snacking or overeating your body would stop telling you that you needed that food. I think the message that you were starving was mainly because your body was expecting food at that time, rather than because you physically needed to eat something.

MrsFantastic · 03/12/2017 17:15

You can conquer the sweet cravings by just going "cold turkey". No sweets, cakes, biscuits etc. It's takes a few days and it's not easy, but then you'll stop craving it.

Ta1kinPeace · 03/12/2017 17:16

Not snacking is something you teach yourself
and once you stop snacking and allow your digestion to "hoover into the corners" between meals, your stomach shrinks
so you get full with less food.

I look back at what I used to eat and am amazed

not being scared to feel a bit hungry for an hour or two is an eye opener - but a good one

jimijack · 03/12/2017 17:18

I have noticed that friends of mine who are very slim don't seem to enjoy food either, they eat because they have to.

Eating is very low on their list of priorities and they don't think about food much.

I, as a fat bird, am the opposite. They don't understand me, I do not understand them.

nuttyknitter · 03/12/2017 17:18

You may find that that level of restraint didn't really come naturally to them. I managed to lose 3.5 stones over 15 years ago and have only kept it off by being very conscious about how much and what I eat. It may look to others that I'm naturally slim but I'm honestly not!

LittleWitch · 03/12/2017 17:19

I’ve told this story on here before- I went away for a long weekend with a couple of friends, both overweight, I’m slim. Friend A decided that she would eat and drink exactly what I did for the entire trip. We were hiking, so all of us were getting plenty of exercise and doing the same level of activity. She didn’t mention this to me.

When we got home, she told me that she’d done it and that she had felt ravenous for the whole time. She said she had several times tried to get me to have another glass of wine, slice of toast, starter or whatever and that when I said no she wanted to scream “what is wrong with you”, but realised that it was her, not me. She has subsequently lost more than a stone and says she feels amazing.

Ta1kinPeace · 03/12/2017 17:19

It may look to others that I'm naturally slim but I'm honestly not!
hear hear with bells on

GeorgeTheHamster · 03/12/2017 17:20

It's habit. If you once yourself to do it, it will become your habit too

JaneWonder · 03/12/2017 17:20

I used to be a 14 with an enormous appetite and then I sorted with discipline and I think I shrunk my stomach and gotnused to non sweet food. Now I have half the appetite I used to, rarely crave sweet stuff and have been a size 10 for 6 years. So it’s not a vain dream!

formerbabe · 03/12/2017 17:20

There's a thread on here called 'what have you eaten today?'. I was Shock at how little people are...no wonder I'm fat. Then there were posters who posted up a days worth of food and proclaimed it to be unhealthy and that they had eaten huge amounts, when it just looked like an average amount to me Blush.

Twuntingattheweekend · 03/12/2017 17:23

I'd do anything to be a size 14..

GloriousGomez · 03/12/2017 17:23

I recently had the opposite realisation.

I’m slim (size 8) and spent the weekend with another size 8 friend and two size 14ish friends.

I always thought I ate a lot and I do have a sweet tooth. But when we had a 3 course meal I couldn’t manage it all, whereas my two larger friends managed it all plus had extra potatoes on the side. I also drink much less alcohol.

I’m pretty active too. Yes I’m sporty, but even when I’m not doing any actual sport my lifestyle is quite active, ie my commute involves minimum 40 minutes’ brisk walking per day, whereas my larger friends drive and park at their work places.

I had a FitBit for a while (until it broke) and I easily hit 10,000 steps per day without trying. At a weekend I could hit 25,000-30,000 per day.

I rarely sit around at home, I’m always on my feet cleaning, tidying, running errands etc

allegretto · 03/12/2017 17:24

I love food but I rarely manage to finish a restaurant portion. I've always thought that being slim was more down to having a small stomach rather than willpower (which I don't have).

grafittiartist · 03/12/2017 17:25

I'm reading this, nodding in agreement, whilst demolishing a box of mint matchsticks! No hope for me!

PurpleDaisies · 03/12/2017 17:25

I’m not sure I totally agree. I eat loads but it’s mainly vegetables. I don’t crave sweet things but have to limit crisps/crackers because I have no will power. I just don’t buy them except on special occasions.

Original poster
ChristmasTreeLight · 03/12/2017 17:28

Another Blush moment is realising how much food I bought in advance that is now sitting in the fridge uneaten. I even thought that perhaps I hadn't bought enough. And yet it now turns out that I bought far too much.

It's the first time I've realised that, perhaps my normal isn't actually normal. It's actually a bit of a revelation, and yet an embarrassing one.

OP posts:
Original poster
ChristmasTreeLight · 03/12/2017 17:29

I always clear my plate. I always had to as a young girl. It simply wouldn't occur to me not to finish it all.

OP posts:
supersop60 · 03/12/2017 17:29

I'm happy with being a 12, but years ago I used to watch my weight and monitor everything I ate. When I would refuse a slice of cake (for example) people would say "why not? you're so slim, you've got nothing to worry about"
AArgh - how do think I stay so slim??
Now I have pudding and cake if I want it.
What I'm saying OP is that a) you don't know what your friends are thinking and b) you can learn new habits if you want to.

ElephantsandTigers · 03/12/2017 17:31

I've been walking more than five miles a day for about two months, apart from the last 2-3 weeks I've also been doing 3 x 30 minutes in the exercise bike and only having chocolate/crisps at the weekend. Haven't lost anything Sad. I've decided I'll enjoy Christmas and my NYR is to care about me as much as I do the dc and to sort out my health and my eating. I have had food issues as I went hungry a lot as a child starved by abusive foster "carers" and it is hard to make them go away.

MsHarry · 03/12/2017 17:32

I was brought up in the 70s/80s and we didn't snack. Mum fed us well, always ready break before school and a cooked breakfast at the weekend , school dinners and a proper dinner in the evening followed by angel delight or rice pudding(for the milk according to mum!) Therefore I'm not a snacker. I'm a size 10 and my weight varies within 7 lb apart from 2 pregnancies. I love food but don't have a sweet tooth which I am eternally grateful for. Try to eat 3 meals per day and only water or tea in-between.

Iprefercoffeetotea · 03/12/2017 17:32

I am a size 8-10 and eat loads more than everyone else. I think I posted on another thread about the revelation I had when out with work colleagues last week and I was the only one out of 5 of us who ate all of her meal (just a main course). It's happened before, too, we've been out and had a dessert and I've finished mine and everyone else has left at least half of theirs.

I eat a lot although I have things like carrots and tomatoes to snack on.

The only reason I am a size 8-10 is because I do loads of exercise. Swim, run, cycle a bit, have a fitbit and try to average the 10,000 steps a day by doing at least 70K a week.

I can never ever be injured, I will get fat so quickly.

I remember going out a few years ago for lunch and ordering soup. When it came, I said "this is only half a portion". It was literally half a bowl. But it was their normal size portion Blush

I'm always reading about people being so busy at work that they forget to have lunch. That could never happen to me, even if I am busy, I couldn't forget to eat.

I do think some people just don't enjoy eating very much, they see it as fuel and not much more. My mum is like that. It's easy to be slim when you don't really enjoy food. I however, love eating nearly as much as I love sleeping. So I have to do the exercise, it's a trade-off.

MeMeMeMe123 · 03/12/2017 17:34

hi OP - i think i undrestand where you are coming from. i am disgusted with myself and feel at a size 22-24 that there is just too much to fix.
Quite apart from how I look, im worried about my joints etc.

Ive simply no sense of what to do for the best and am completely and utterly overwhelmed.
Yet, this cant be 'it'. I don't want it to be.

Fuckity.

daydreamnation · 03/12/2017 17:35

I've mixed views, I'm tiny but a constant grazer, if I was out with you I would definitely want something to eat if we hadn't eaten for a while. I feel really faint and disoriented if I haven't eaten for a while and I also crave chocolate. I eat chocolate everyday, it's a definite addiction Sad

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