I'm literally killing myself and I don't know what to fo

[IHopeYouStepOnALegoPiece]

Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck (I could go on for a while!)

I've always been very overweight even as a teen (not my parents fault...I was a sneaky twat) but I currently weigh 25st...TWENTY FUCKING FIVE

I'm amazingly good at burying my head in the sand and saying I'm fine and I'll do something and I never do so I say it to myself again but it's suddenly occurred to me (told you, I bury my head in the sand) that I'm literally killing myself and this weight will kill me.

I'm absolutely fucking petrified and I don't know what to do

I feel your pain - it is really really difficult.

Things that have worked for me (lost 3 stone and still losing):

MyFitnessPal app. Ignore logging exercise, that bit doesn't work. However logging all your calories completely made me very conscious about what I ate and shocked at how many wasted calories there are in things - I had to stick to 1200 calories to lose weight and easiest way to do this and still eat nice food is cut out carbs and sugar.

Fat Chance by Robert Lustig - or watch his lecture on Youtube. Made me realise how bad sugar is and how 99.9% of my weight gain was due to sugar making me crave more sugar due to high insulin levels. He is very clear it isn't your fault, you don't have crap willpower, you aren't greedy. Understanding the science of why the weight had gone on helped me see how I should get it off.

Blood Sugar Diet by Michael Mosley - basically builds on the above. Cuts out carbs and sugar - after a week of massive cravings they subsided, I lost weight like mad and amazingly no longer felt hungry. True light bulb moment that my gut hormones had been controlling my life.

This is what is going on in your body when I didn't need that but in my head I did - it wasn't in your head, it was in your hormones of leptin and insulin.

For me, knowledge was the power I needed to get me going. Was and is still fucking hard though - if I relapse into cake again, it will take anough week of furious effort to get past the cravings again as my body tries to pretend to me it's starving to death despite fairly obvious evidence to the contrary Once I get past them, and the appetite hormones subside in the absence of sugar and carbs, I can eat far less and only feel hungry when I genuinely am hungry, which turns out to be a completely different feeling.

I've had weight issues all my adult life. I lost about 4 stone due to ill health and the major thing I learnt was that it was ok to be hungry and nothing bad happened if I didn't eat till I felt sick all the time.

It wasn't until I physically couldn't eat what I had been that I realised how bad my eating habits were and that I could cope with them being different.

It will be hard to start with but try reducing how much you eat each meal and then reduce it more as you get comfortable with the smaller amounts.

Have you ever lost just a little bit of weight before? what worked for you? (I'm guessing you know what doesn't)

Some people swear by no carbs - others by high carbs and low fat. It's about what works for you, and what you think you can stick to.

Counter-intuitively, to me anyway, I read recently that it's better to choose really boring foods rather than stuff you enjoy as you are likely to eat less overall. I thought this was interesting, as I'd always assumed it was better to cook tasty foods...

Oh, and most Iphones have a Health App already (the one with the heart symbol) I am sure android phones have similar. You don't need a fit bit, your phone will track your steps for you and you can download free apps to monitor your eating and your progress.

Good Luck You can and you will do this

Six years ago I was 27 stone and diagnosed with type 2 diabetes.

I set about dieting - I organised a low carb, high protein diet and it worked. I am now 21 stone and have finally had to start taking Metformin.

I mostly stick to it with well planned meals - my aim is no more than 150g of carbs a day. However if I'm going out with friends I will happily ignore the diet that day.

This week my worst day will be Sunday with a Pork & Oyster Sauce stir fry with noodles as an evening meal - 114g of Carbs.

With salads you just need to watch the dressing.

Fresh Vegetable soups from the supermarket are easy. Even hating cooking grilling a bit of meat is reasonably easy - especially with a George Forman grill. Steamfresh veg from freezer to microwave.

Gradually reduce your portion sizes - if you feel hungry thats when you'll snack - buy smaller plates in a few months so it looks like a lot.

What can you do tomorrow to start your journey? Make 1 change. It could be something really small initially - "I'm going to cut out the chocolate I have with lunch". Making one change will start things off and, after a week of that change, instigate another one - "I'll go for a walk 3 times a week". The small changes will start you off before you can see your doctor.

I politely disagree with being okay to feel hungry - eating small amount often will keep hunger at bay and is a more rounded way to view your diet (not 'a diet' - you don't want 'a diet', you want to change your overall diet so that it's healthier). Being hungry is more likely to make you 'cheat', especially when it gets tough a few weeks in, but it's possible to eat plenty, lose weight and not be hungry.

I'm having a ridiculously difficult time losing weight at the moment (I suspect my PCOS is having a major impact on it - bloody thing), but if I start to feel like 'picking', I have a drink (it sounds like a cliche, but it can work!) and then I do something, anything!, and tell myself that if I still fancy it in 15mins/half an hour/whatever time frame is appropriate, then I'll have something to eat. Occasionally I do, most times I don't, because I don't generally let myself get truly hungry and I'm just 'fancying' something.

You can do this - I know you can!

If you really dislike cooking, I would recommend weight watchers. They have counted ready meals etc, and you can get points values for all packaged foods, so it would be easy for you to follow. You could do it online if you don't want to join a group, but a group might be helpful for the real life support. Good luck op.

You can do this, but only when your head is in the right place. I have always been fat, dallied with a skinny phase at uni, but with very unhealthy eating/vomiting habits, and was resigned to a life of being huge. I had a wake up call in November 2016 and decided come New Year I would tackle it. I asked for a Fitbit for Xmas, and can honestly say it's changed my life. I have also given up smoking after 27 years and lost 2.5 stone since Xmas. It has been a combo of eating my normal food, but slightly smaller portions, no snacking and walking, walking, walking. I was terrified that people would laugh at me, but you know what? I'm just not that important lol! Go for it- you won't regret it. I've gone from a size 26 to a 18/20, and now can buy my clothes from 'normal' shops. I just about cried when I bought a size 18 jacket from Next... I'm going to live longer, and have already reversed the pre-diabetes I had in November. You absolutely CAN do this, and on your terms. Don't be frightened, it is hard, but so bloody rewarding xx

I just learned that my partner's friend from school, who had always been large but not crazily so, has died from heart attack aged 30. He suddenly piled on the weight in the last 5 years after a knee injury.

If you can afford it, get a personal trainer and/or use one of those meal services.

If budget is tight, can you join group exercise class in the park? It costs £2 to go to yoga/walking/boxercise etc and I'm in the expensive south of England. Summer is brilliant for doing that, or couch to 5k.

Do something now.you are still young and have so much to live for. You don't need to get thin - get happy.

" have already reversed the pre-diabetes I had in November."
Amazing. Well done.
Rock I know what you mean about hunger being the 'punishment' but that's not really how I see it. For example today the way my day is im having an early breakfast and then am going into a meeting that lasts till one. I'll then have to cross London and only buy lunch when I'm at my station. A few years ago I'd have been worrying about hunger and bringing endless snacks - by the time I had lunch I wouldn't be hungry but would have it anyway as it was lunchtime. Now I accept I'm going to be hungry by the time I get to have lunch but at that point I'll have something really nice.

Rock......I have pcos.

After plateauing for a year I have started fasting and it's the best thing I ever did. It's kickstarted my weight loss again after losing 3 stone on sw.

Fasting means no chopping, cheaper food bills and more time for me.

It's good for you and my mantra is

'I can have it tomorrow.'

How are you doing op?

My really nice salad wasn't as nice as it usually is :(

I might write a strongly worded letter

IHopeYouStepOnALegoPiece

Yes, frozen grapes are no substitute for chocolate, but they are nice.

OP, you CAN do this!!!!!! Take small steps-
-wAlking
-not eating after 6
-cut out snacks, fried food, bread, pasta, crisps
-go to gp

For all the sugar content in grapes, you might as well have the chocolate!

Lego, I think we've met on a similar post before and I haven't done anything about it either.

It's crap isn't it, it's the thing I want most in the world yet seem to not be able to commit to at all.

My head is in such a spin nowadays, just not knowing what I want to eat for the best anymore.

The health of someone else on here has given me a bit of a jolt too. I really need to make some consistent changes.

How are you feeling?

Thanks very much for your kind words, sorry lego, I don't mean to hijack your thread!

Can you ask your GP to refer you for bariatric surgery? You will have to wait at least a year and in that time you will see dietitians and psychologists and hopefully get sorted without needing the surgery.

I think the key thing to remember is it didn't go on in a month so it won't come off in a month either. It will take a lot of time, and that is ok! One good decision at a time. Literally one swapping coke for water, one telling yourself no I don't need that cake today. Every tiny step is a win.

You could try the 'ways of eating' app. I'm loving it so far, nearly 3 weeks in. I came across it through the 'fixing dad' film that was on recently.

Hiya OP,

I always felt a bit like diets didn't work for me, I'm such a fussy eater that I couldn't follow certain plans etc.

My best friend is a MyFitness Pal fanatic and after a few days away with her I thought I would give it a go. It was great! I entered all my relevant details and it calculated how many calories I needed and I had to stick to it.
I love chocolate so I made sure if I got sweet treats, they were under 100 calories. At Christmas I got a Fitbit and I love it because I think it more accurately tracks steps and then I can earn more calories.

I also started drinking a lot of water instead of fizzy drinks and fruit juices which are just empty calories

Good luck xxx

What I meant with it's ok to be hungry is basically what Stealth said. I used to be terrified to be hungry and would always eat as soon as I felt the tiniest bit empty inside. Emotional issues drove my overeating. Now I understand that much more and I also know that while being hungry isn't always pleasant, it's fine to let your hunger build before a meal and it's fine to feel hungry and still go to bed without having a snack to get me through the night. Cutting out all this unneeded snacking has allowed me to maintain my weight loss now I can eat again.

I agree that being hungry isn't going to work for everyone but if you are an emotional over eater who is scared of being hungry, learning to be ok with hunger can help.

I think you will re read this thread in a year and be so impressed with how you have come!

You can totally totally change and live a happy healthy life.

Or you might read it in a year and kick yourself for having made no changes at all. Please don't let that happen.