Much needed wake up call... Disgusted with myself so I've bloody binged on chocolate

[Somuchweighttolose]

had a bit of a wake up call today, had outpatient appointment and told I need an mri scan (poor health, have lupus) and they are unsure weather I will fit in a scanner.
The consultant weighed me and ive put on a massive 37kg since last august!! (was 105kg now I'm 142kg!)
I must have a severe problem, I know I'm big but to be this big is a shock.
In my teens I always thought I was overweight when I wasn't, and dieted hard and now I'm like this.
Sorry Ive rambled on a bit here

I'm a binge eater too, the only way I can ever control it is eating a low carb diet so I know I can't even have a little sugar (sugar is my weakness!)

I'd just love to eat like a normal person though, not feel the need to binge every night on crap

No words of wisdom, but I'm in the same boat!

Bless you @Jumble27 it's horrible.
I don't want to be like this any longer

Don't be disgusted. Really don't. That just makes you feel bad and want to eat more!
Can you access advice through a GP? Some support with eating and maybe exercising too?

Been referred for weight loss management about 5 months ago and still no appointment & for WLS but want to try myself.
Don't want to sound dramatic but it makes me have suicidal thoughts. I hate myself.

You can try yourself but may have more success with help.
Can you choose one or two things to change and focus on achieving that? That might make you feel better about yourself and spur you on to more success.

Yes I could swap my pop to diet pop.
I'm so picky I only like plain food (think toast, meat etc) have sensory issues with texture and smells.
I walk everywhere (don't drive) but dr today said excersise won't help its all to do with eating habits :/

They do say you can't outrun a bad diet.

Tomorrow is a new day, though. Make small, achievable changes, like the pop, while you figure things out. Download mfp, set your goal to maintain, for now, and simply measure and log everything that you eat normally.

Can you stomach any fruit or veg, or are you very much a brown food person?

And don't give up the walking. It might not be enough to compensate for the amount you're eating at the moment, but it's great for your general health and wellbeing. And is pretty much free (if you discount shoe leather and waterproofs!)

Switching to diet pop would be an excellent start. MUCH less sugar.
Drink a bit more water?
Picky and liking plain food isn't an issue.
Feel free to share a typical day.

You can control your weight with your diet. I know it sounds crazy, but it wasn't till I really accepted this that I was able to make a change. My entire life I was convinced I was destined to be overweight, I was just 'built this way', but when me and my husband split and I put on another 20kg in a year I reached rock bottom. It also helped me realize that my behavior directly influenced my weight, which then helped me do something about it.

I would start by downloading the free app My Fitness Pal. Don't set a target or anything on day one, just track what you're eating to get an idea of where you're at right now. Then you can look at setting a calorie target based on your current weight and take it from there.

Good luck! If you're looking for an online support network which is a bit more active than on here, I'd try reddit.com/r/loseit, which helped me a lot.

Thank you so much lots of good advice there.
I don't like any fruit/veg apart from peas and potatoes.
A typical day would be;
No breakfast (I know!)
Cup of tea - 2 sugars
Lunch: Cheese&ham sandwich (3 slices bread)
Dinner: something made with mince so lasagne (but made with smooth sauce and I sieve it) chilli (only with baked beans) or shepards pie (mince, peas & potato) or a chicken wrap.
Snacks: cereal bars/cornflakes
Drinks: tea/wine/pop

A lot of cheese I've just realised!

Skipping g breakfast isn't all that bad. One form of intermittent fasting involves consuming all your calories for the day in an 8 hour window.

The obvious place to start is to cut out obvious sugar or in your tea, in cereal bars and cereals. Don't worry about the cheese, to start with. It's filling and nutritious. Stick with the beans that you do like, as with such a limited palate, they're an important part of your diet.

I wouldn't do anything more drastic until you've spoken to a dietitian, though.

@PickAChew oh yes I think I've heard of that 8 hour thing before, I will read up about it!
I think I've confused myself with doing slimming world for so long (not sticking to it properly!) I need to re educate myself with food.

Perhaps you could switch your sugar in tea to sweetener? It is one small change that is manageable.
Don't worry about no breakfast. I don't have breakfast most days. Certainly don't make yourself eat it if it is likely to just be on top of what you are eating.
I would guess that your portions are too big. Start weighing everything you eat and log it on my fitness Pal. You will quickly see what you are really consuming and it may even help you think about whether you are hungry when you reach for a snack.
You can do this.

Thank you @delilahbucket I will do. Thank you all for the support 😃