My BMI is 39.3 im a big fat pig.

[Unsurechicken]

So i weigh 15.4 1/2 in 5'2''.

I am disgusting.

Honestly im so lazy. I dont eat breakfast maybe mid morning ill scoff a packet of biscuits. I cant be bothered to make lunch so i take the kids out for lunch 3 times a week. They go to nursery 3 times a week and on a sunday my oh cooks. In the evening we eat well salmon new pots veg hallumi salad chicken rice toms that sort of thing. Then i scoff every night cake chocolate crisps family bags of each.

I had my first child two years ago and at 39.1 pregnant i weighed 13.1 stone i then got preg again and weighed 13.4 at his birth at 38 weeks. Now my boy is 14 months and ive put on 2 stone 2 stone from being a big fat pig. I am struggling with my mental health i am so so unhappy with lots of factors ive just had my implant out as ive heard it can make your hormones heywire that was a week ago. 39.3 bmi is disgusting it really is. 2 stone on since having 2 babies is revolting. I knew id got fat but not this fat. I drink diet coke all day long im lazy im so worn out with the kids im so worn out with not sleeping im so worn out with work.

The gp sent me to the gym for 12 weeks and ive actually put 10 kg on in that 12 weeks! Thats mental! I start of well 3 or 4 sessions that first 2 weeks then i dont go again.

What can i do? Do i qualify for a band?

You're not disgusting. And you don't sound lazy, you sound bloody tired.

You need a plan for healthier eating. (Gym is great and all but weight loss is mainly about food, not exercise.) Lots of ways to do that - you need to find the way that works best for you. Weight Watchers/Slimming World? Low-carb diet? Calorie budgeting with MyFitnessPal? Different people suit different things - try one, and if it doesn't work for you, move on to something else.

You're not revolting It's just fat - it doesn't define you as a person.

Did anybody ever told you that you have to be your best friend? How can you be so cruel to yourself???

If you are just focusing in your negatives, you will get more anxiety and therefore find it more difficult to loose weight.

Honestly, big fat pig? You don't need a band, you need to treat yourself with more kindness and respect.

You're not disgusting

A few suggestions for you:

Can you go back to your GP about your mental health, rather than weight loss? It is so difficult to lose weight and change your lifestyle if you're not in the right mental place for it.

You sound exhausted, and like you have got into bad eating habits. It sounds stupidly obvious - but just don't have the cake, choc, crisps in the house. Don't buy them in the first place. Force yourself to have something for breakfast - something good - egg & toast, yoghurt and fruit, porridge.

I find planning what I'm going to eat is very important when I'm trying to lose weight - plan lunches for you and the children rather than going out, once you have got into the swing of things it will get easier. Lunch can be soup, salad, chicken & veg, even just a sandwich, or egg/toast if you didn't have that for breakfast.

Low carb works really well for a lot of people, as it seems to cut a lot of the hunger pangs. You sound like you know what you should be eating, but you're just eating the extra crap on top.

I bet once you get into the right mindset, you will feel better about yourself and sleep better. However, you may well be a candidate for surgery, and you wouldn't be unreasonable to discuss that with your GP too.

What do you want to do?

I can't imagine any GP referring you for a band if your still putting weight on. I think they will want to see you loose weight first. A band is not an easy option and if you don't stick to the diet and the band fails they won't do it again.

Tomorrow is a new day - get rid of the junk.

Try and be a bit kinder to yourself.

It's your current mental state that is the issue and your poor diet is adding to it. A band will not miraculously cure this as you can do it yourself.

I would personally stop with the diet coke as a start. Between that and the chocolate your caffeine intake will be most likely effecting your sleep. Exhaustion makes you tired/crave crap food etc, vicious cycle.

Op you're not revolting or a pig.
The thing is the only way this can change is for you to want to change, and find a method or combination of methods that works for you.
have you ever successfully lost weight in the past?
This sounds trite but I really mean it. If I can do it anyone can. I had everything 'wrong' leading to obesity, sweet tooth, hated exercise, loved cars, loved fat. Had never ever managed to lose any weifht in the last. Suppose the only thing I had going for me was loving diet coke and not taking sugar in coffee. But I found the way to exercise my willpower and lost 5 it si stone in 2011. I've put about a stone back on which I'd like to lose but I never let it get silly again, because I now know how it feels to feel confident and in control (and or bloated , bloated was my normal for my entire adult life). If you already know that that's a plus already.

Just re read the op you have two small children incredibly close together. You must be shattered. I retract my advice and focus on being kind to yourself for the next year or so without any thought if weight loss. However being kind ti yourself means ensuring you're eating well (did you eat well when you were pregnant?) And doing everything in your power to sleep well - no alcohol or caffeine too late. Obviously your babies may make sleep difficult :(

I really only got it all together when my youngest was 2, and I had a school aged older child. Before that the focus was surviving one day to the next.

OP, you are not disgusting. You're struggling, and that's ok. The implant actually caused me to gain 3 stone in the 6 months I had it due to the changes in hormones and increasing my appetite, so your 'odd' gains could be something to do with that. Please try not to hate yourself.

I really do not recommend trying a low-carb diet if you are suffering with your mental health already, your CNS needs carbs to run and without it you may find yourself feeling even more lethargic and helpless. This is what my therapist told me anyway, and it helped me (probably because carbs make me happy).

I DO however highly recommend the slimming world principles of 1) filling half your plate with fruits, veggies or salad at every meal - even when out! 2) putting each snack you have on a plate before you eat it, rather than having the temptation of a whole packet at your finger tips all of the time. I don't agree with everything that slimming world promotes (especially promoting sugar free fizzy drinks and yoghurts; aspartame is so bad for you), but these basics really helped me.

Oh, and TRY to eat breakfast, even if it's a couple of biscuits (try belvita). It's very important for both your mental health and weight loss (even if you end up eating more calories at first, it won't continue), especially as you're feeling the need to binge eat at night - it's a sign you're not eating enough throughout the day

I used to weigh 13.4 stone and am 5'0 so I know how you feel.

All the best, OP.

If youre on facebook have a look at rebelfit. It's working for me

Thank you all for your replies.

Ive had breakfast today crunchy nut cereal strawberrys and grapes.

I took someones advise and last when i couldnt sleep i got up and made everyone a sandwich for lunch weve all had wholemeal bread chicken and cucumber with some light mayo. I will keep doing this its made today easier! We have had a lazy day when the babies had a nap ive had one too.

Last night i had a small bag of malteasers and a youghurt instead of all the crap i normally do i didnt wake up feeling hungry so thats not bad and i will try to do that every night sort of as a ive got through the day treat.

53- id like to do slimming world again i did it 8 years go when i weighed 10 stone and thought i was fat haha! I like the logic behind it. Its somthing to look in to except i couldnt face going to the meetings!

Memy - its hard to be nice to myself at the moment im ashamed ive got so fat. I had an accident at xmas and damaged my knee i think ive sort of used that as an excuse not to exercise. Today is a beautiful day but i dont want to take the kids to the park because i dont have anything thats fits me - this weeks two of my bras have snapped the wire theough the front. Thank you for your words

Under- weve just moved house and ive registered with a new gp so it would be a good idea to see them i think i wanted to wait until my hormones had settled from my implant but maybe thats another excuse! Ive quit smoking since 1st of july ive gone from 40 a day to just a low dose on my ecig but i do want to get the nitotine of of my system too. Planning meals is a great idea it sort of gives my day a structure too and its better for the babies. Thank you

Ali- i dont want a band but id love a magic pill to just melt all the fat off haha! Id love to be healthier and to feel like getting up and taking my two for a lovely walk in the woods or to be able to go to the shops and not buy loads of crappy food. Thats my aim.

Ijust- your right i never thought of the caffine i dont drink tea or coffee so always thought i was good for not having caffine oopps! Ive got to cut it out today ive had 1 can so far and thats really good for me if i can only have one more can by the time i go to bed that would be amazing and would make me happy.

Stealth- well done on your weight loss thats brilliant! It not a looks thing for me its more a health thing i ache all the time i had bad chest pains i didnt when i was 11 stone before i got pregnant. When i was pregnant i did eat really well except from cheese i had a massive cheese craving that and orange juice! I dont drink alcohol at all its a real fear to do with my worrying that something will happen to the children and i wont be able to get them to hospital. I totally live the whole surviving one day to the next its horrible.

Fayaa- i did read lots of things with weight gain and the implant and also mental health so thats why ive got mine taken out. Did you lose the weight you put on easily? I do use the half a plate trick now and im lucky that i love veg too! The snack on a plate is a great idea as a whole packet of biscuits wouldnt fit so id actually feel embarresed to get the rest of the packet thats a brilliant idea! I think my evening eating is also to do with feeling unhappy i treat myself with a whole tiramesu to make me feel better its awful!

Anchovies- ive had a breif look is it about weight training muscels burn fat that sort of logic? I like the memes about clean eating ha!

Sow op if you quit from 40 a day then your will power must be amazing!

Rebelfit is both nutrition and weight training. You sign up for "missions" and get help with what to eat (very easy - basically aiming to eat unprocessed food but very realistic) and get set a training program (unfit = 10 mins of bodyweight a few times week so easy). Someone on here recommended it as how they lost weight and kept it off. Im a work in progress () but it is so good. Next mission starts mid sept til xmas.

You're so not a big, fat pig.

My bmi is 33 and I don't have the excuse of small kids!

Ive just joined a gym and im determined now is the time to make a change. I'm chucking myself into it. Have bought Joe Wicks book for recipe ideas, drinking lots of water, cutting down on the diet coke a lot. Am browsing Pinterest for recipe ideas.

I keep trying to focus on the positives. Am currently a size 18 amd want to be able to walk into a shop and try on dresses rather than be stuck in shops which do plus sizes. I want to be healthy for my dd.

How about getting a fitbit and trying 10,000 steps a day?

You quit a 40 a day habit, and you have young kids? You can do anything now

I went into a weird place when I'd had my first dc - it manifested as health anxiety. Terrified of leaving this perfect young son without a mother. The gp was pretty good - she gave me a talk about having children making us cime to terms with our own mortality and organised a thyroid test. Underactive thyroids are quite common after birth, apparently.

But whatever, you can do this. Quit the junk, I'm quite convinced it'll make you feel better, almost immediately. I find the more sugary/carby stuff I eat, the more I want to eat crap. I think it messes up our blood sugar levels/normal appetite.

Stealth! I wish i had amazing will power tonight im just gagging for a flapjack but ive put on a face mask and had a long shower and shave instead! Wish i could give up the crappy food the smoking terrified me in the end we can back off our holiday with a short flight home and for the next 2 days i had the worst chest pain and thought i was dying so it made me just give up that was hard and didnt work and i was super cranky so i got an ecig ive come right down on the strengh i went to 0 but it made me very very mardy and hungry so im on around 0.3 mg now so im happy with that and will stick at that for a while. I had a wobble last week my boy ended up in hospital again its stressful and i bought a 10 pack of cig my gosh i felt poorly after i smoked one!

Anchovies- that sounds really good but maybe not for me at the moment maybe once ive lost a couple of stone? When my oh got home we walked to the park the furthest away in the village i was sweating like a pig on the way home uphill yuck!

Pickatu- good on you and well done. Re pintrest ive seen a sweet potato and fry light recipy for home made chips that im going to try this week i think sweet pots are a good carb so will totally try them! They look amazing! I totally know what you mean about clothes i recently took two size 16 dresses back and complained they were obviously not a 16 more like im not a 16 haha! Id love to get a fit bit and walk but because of my knee i can walk around the local shopping center and it kills me ive had steriod injections and it makes no odds i do think once ive lost a couple of stone it will be easier. I like the gym as they have this aqua arm machine you cycle with your arms it bloody kills you sweat loads but in 10 mins i can burn 200+ cals so for me its better than a treadmill. Good luck and let me know how you do. Im going to use this thread as a bit of a diary i think to try and focus me. Day 2 has gone well no cheating so far and ive cut my diet coke consumption down. Tomorrow im going to up the water.

Under- ahha i wish i could do anything i wanted! Thank you tho. Ive smoked for 8 years now and i started to get scared! Health anxiety totally one million percent! My boys been really poorly with probably 20 hospital admissions and even the slightest rash scares me there is a syndome munchhousen something like that i feel like thats me except there is always somthing wrong with him normally his chest or his breathing. Hea just been refered to physio as hes so dependent on one leg and its so dominant. I hope your right about feeling better once i have cut the crap totally! The diet coke really has to go ive cut today and tomorrow ive got a 500ml bottle and then im working the next four days so im going to take a 1.5 lt bottle of water and see if i can drink that twice. Thank you for your kind words

Under- i forgot ive had my thyriod done in the last year and my sugars im right at the top of normal sugars and i know when ive been really gready as i get horrible thrush that just wont go the dr said its to do with the amount of sugar in my wee! Lovely! Ill try again for my thyriod but id like my hormones checked too with regards to my implant. How is your health anxiety now has it settled? I think as a mum you go in to worrier (not worry like ninja) (cant spell im dyslexic terribly) mode and you stress about everything. A bit like if your camping in the woods and night and hear a branch snap your spidery sense kicks in same with being a mum!

Sounds like you've made a great start op. Keep it up.

I had a difficult time after my DD was born(she's now 2). I did a lot of comfort eating, and by the end of 2015 I weighed 15st 11 at 5ft5, with a BMI of almost 38. So very similar to you!

I'm now just over 12stone (so still a bit to go), BMI is 28, I'm wearing size 12-14(previously 18) and I'm overall much happier and healthier.

I've used MFP, there's a great group on here. But honestly the self loathing doesn't help. Try not to think of needing to lose 5stone, start by aiming to lose 7lbs and go from there.

Being the mum of small children is exhausting and can take it's toll.

You've already identified what the problems are likely to be which is half the battle.

Weight loss is all about planning, preempting your cravings and replacing it with something different.

If your OH is home on a Sunday I would use that day to prep lunches.
Rolls, butter, ham and cheese can all be frozen. Doesn't take long to do and much quicker than making them fresh everyday and trying to find the time to do it. I make rolls up for the week on Sunday ready to grab out of the freezer for packed lunches during the week. They defrost and have a normal texture and taste and means I eat much healthier. I also freeze frubes etc for DD.

Frozen grapes are really lovely, nice and sweet and is what I have for an evening snack instead of cakes and chocolate. Just wash, dry them and put them in a container.

Slow cookers are your friend, you throw the veg and meat in in the morning and then just dish it up in the evening when your energy is zapped it makes life so much easier.

Good luck, it's a long battle but you can do it. MFP is great and I have found having a Fitbig is a great motivator I get me moving more.

Work out how much you normally spend on junk food and put hat money in a jar instead, save either for a family day out or new clothes.

Hi. It is so beautiful how supportive an empathetic every one is on this thread. Can i share a quote with you by Geneen Roth? "Many of us believe that, if we are mean enough to ourselves, if we torture ourselves enough, if we shame ourselves enough, if we guilt trip ourselves enough into losing weight, we will end up thin, happy, self-loving people. We don't understand that the means to the end can not be separated from the end." You don't need to fight with or berate yourself. Cultivate self-compassion and a self-parenting voice. Support yourself because learning new skills and ways of thinking and doing takes time - but is well worth it in the end!

You do have amazing willpower and I hope yiu realised I meant "wow"
I do get it though. Having tried to lose weight all my life the thing that flipped the switch for me was waking up in a cold sweat convinced I'd have a heart attack or stroke in the next decade (I was early/mid thirties). Or develop diabetes.
I wasn't scared of dying. I assume it would be minor. I knew at that point I'd gain the willpower and decided it needed to happen NOW, not when I had experienced a killer disease.

I suppose I stopped taking my good health for granted and abusing my body. I realised I was mortal.

So ive been really good for the last 10 days and ive PUT ON 7LBS?!!! WTAF?!

I dont understand at all! Ive eaten breakfast ive snacked on fruit and veg ive had a chicken and cucumber sandwitch on brown grainy bread everyday ive had salad 6/10 nights roasted meg veg and cuscous the others. The only naughtys are 1 kinder bueno and 1 small bag of malteasers. Ive cut the diet coke compleatly ive drunk water and sugar free squash. Tonight im so so annoying ive bought a can of 7 up. Ive weighed myself on a flat surface in a really light cotton dress so where on earth has 7lbs come from?! Ive drank so much water i havent stopped weeing im so gutted i cant even explain

When did you weigh in, was it this evening? Ideally you need to weigh when you wake up, naked, after your morning wee before any food or drinks. I can gain a lb after my morning tea and coffee, even if I then have a wee before getting on the scale, and that is without even having anything to eat. I also have a 4lb variance depending where on the bathroom floor I place the scale and that is on a hard surface and flat looking to the eye.

It could also be hormone related due to implant you mentioned?

Don't give up! you have had a good week food wise and made healthy changes. It might be that you need to log your food on MFP this week to see how many calories you need and how many you have eaten.