final fling before sorting it out?

[stealtheatingtunnocks]

Long term planner, faster, gym member signer upper - zero weight loss.

As in, since I was 14, I've been trying to lose a stone.

I am now 44 and 5 stones overweight.

I have kids, I need to sort out my health before I get a health problem. So, that means you know, not wine o'clocking and eating biscuits. Which is a shame, as it's two of my main skills.

To be honest, I decided to sort my shit out about 3 months ago - and, have set about hoovering up eating everything that can't run away...so, have put on a whole extra stone.

Not quite done yet, either. I reckon I've got another week of binging, and, then, THEN...

Anyone else in the zone - but, not quite?

What is it all about, eh?

I sooo 'get' you steal. I've kind of had my 'health issue' and said I'd take it as my wake up call. Had my gallbladder removed & lost nearly a stone before it was taken out as I couldn't eat for about 2 months (toast was my limit). And now? I can't get past all the bloody amazing food I've not been able to eat for about 2 years. To top it all, Ive found an amazing little food place that serves the most calorific yet utterly delicious food and home baking. And put that lost weight back on. I need to do something now, like you, as I'm 43 & probably look 10 yrs older 'cos of my weight. So I'll join you on your bench limbering up for the 'big push'.

Oh and I signed up to a gym too. Set foot in the place once, got harassed to sign up with a personal trainer on top of the monthly fee & have avoided the place ever since.

Yep, it's bizarre behaviour.

I know ALL the theory. All of it. I even actually enjoy exercise. And, I like healthy food, really enjoy it. And, I don't enjoy eating an entire box of tunnocks teacakes, or the fuzzy feeling that drinking a whole bottle of wine leaves me with...

...and yet, and yet...

I wonder whether I just think "may as well be hung for a sheep as a lamb"?

From a psychological POV, it's curious. I don't need any education, I just need to make one change and stick to it every day for the rest of my life. And, then, another wee change. And, another. Until I am healthy.

Our kids are still off for a week, I'm doing duty family visits and it's our wedding anniversary. So, I think that I'll continue to self destruct for another week and then cut the carbs and start walking. And, listen to the Paul McKenna DVD that I bought two years ago and have never done.

What about you? What are your realistic plans?

I think I've been kidding myself that I'm almost at the point I should have no excuses left. My lifestyle & work/life balance was pretty bad & I couldn't fit any proper exercise into my week so spent the past year making changes to give me the chance to walk more, maybe go swimming, pop into the gym at lunch time etc. Then gallbladder went wonky & I've been 'recuperating' by eating all the food I couldn't before gallbladder whipped out for longer than I should

The one thing I found this past year is that without proper exercise all the dieting in the world makes little difference unless I only eat toast once a day & increasing my activity levels has been the hardest part cos I spend half my time running DD around, and the rest trying to keep us both organised. I'm in a desk job & my arse is enormous from sitting all day every day. I'm feeling it more now too, I can't sit for long stretches now without getting a hey somewhere. I was all 'gung-Ho' for going to the gym at lunch time then weird creepy PT put me right off & I couldn't find anything clothes wise that didn't make me look ridiculous. All I want is a long top to cover my arse & stomach! But again, there's nowt to stop me taking a walk for an hour at lunch time other than my own reluctance. And that doesn't cost me £20 a month...

So plans are, stop eating the really nice calorific food I've rediscovered & get off my arse and move more. Seems oh so simple, and yet my procrastination is going beyond what is normal for me. On the plus side I've discovered that latte with skimmed milk isn't that bad so I can still have my coffee in the morning.

Yep, that all sounds very familiar.

I'm self employed - do a lot of writing and late nights. Married to man who is, you know, a man. Three kids, middle one's been intermittently very unwell, so, I deal with stress with food.

Gym stuff - yep, totally get it. All gym stuff is grotesque if you are not already an athlete.

My road to Hell is well paved, I'm very good at starting, being committed for about 3 months and then...to be fair to us, though, when all the family stuff is taken into account, no wonder we're tired and just want to sit down.

I'm going to walk to school with the kids. If I do that twice a day it's 10 000 steps, which is what the minimum a day is supposed to be.

But, next week. Not this week.

I think.