Hi Toe, no I didn't explode
. In fact, someone brought in a couple of delicious home made cakes today (birthday) and I had a mouthful sized piece (seriously) to try rather than a piece. It was nice, and I was so relieved that I didn't immediately feel like falling on it and scoffing the lot
.
onit Woohoo, it is great when you jeans start to fall down ! 
updown you've come to the right place for support, welcome. It totally get what you mean about not seeing a change in yourself when you lose and gain weight. I'm the same. Its weird. I have been a size 12 once you know (after doing a VLCD) and couldn't really deal with it. I still felt 'the same' iyswim.
clearskies
"I lose focus/will power/ belief I can achieve this and start giving up"
Oh yes, that happens to me too but not this time
. Seriously, it is horrible when it all goes wrong because it is like falling down a black hole all the way down, down, down to the bottom and facing having to climb all the way back up again. i.e. impossible
. The more I try to stop it happening, the more it happens!
Self-sabotage? Yes, I often wonder that too. Is it to do with us feeling that we are not worth it? Is it being afraid of failure? Heaven knows, I am familiar with failure
. Or afraid of success (really deep
.
Whatever it is, it stops us achieving what we want to achieve.
This time I am thinking in terms not of losing weight but of improving my health. I am in my fifties now
and feeling the effects of carrying an extra 7 stone considerably more than I did 20-30 years ago. It cannot go on. If I want to become a disgraceful old woman who causes equal embarrassment and mirth to my grown up children, well into my 90's, I need to be in tip top condition
. So that's my motivation.
Can you find a motivation that does not include your appearance or weight loss only? Something else that you can really focus on when the going gets tough.