Is food/diet/weight a battle for most people do you think?

[MNetter15]

I wonder, is it?

I've been obese in the past but I have a healthy bmi now but that requires me to be quite disciplined. I can eat a takeaway or a large slice of cake but I will feel guilty and have to restrict or be 'good' the next day to keep my weight normal.

Is it like this for everyone I wonder?

I'm amazed at just how easily the pounds can go on. If I lose the run of myself for a week, I would easily have 3 or 4lbs on, so it does require quite a lot of tinking about what and when I eat, to maintain.

Is there such a thing as a slim person who is slim and doesn't put so much thought into food, diet, calories etc? Why can't I be her?

*thinking

Apologies for typos

We do exist! But we're in the minority
I think it's mainly background/ lifestyle. If you've always been slim and healthy, you don't have bad habits to try and change, so you never need to think about food as anything else but refuelling. Even ignoring the many complicated reasons for not being able to listen to what your body needs rather than wants, I think the forbidden fruit aspect of dieting/ food scrutiny is a big factor.
Offer me biscuits right now, I'll say no cos I'm not hungry. And probably won't eat any this week. And if I went food shopping right now it wouldn't cross my mind to buy any for another day either. Tell me I can only eat one biscuit a day this week, and chances are I'd be thinking about them, buying them in and eating a few a day. The only time I have watched what I ate was pregnancy when all the forbidden stuff suddenly became appealing because I knew I couldn't have it. And breastfeeding, when I had to factor in meals that could be eaten one handed over babies head, along with practical ways of adding more calories to an already high consumption. Both of which made me focus on, and therefore want, what I couldn't have.

Your post makes a lot of sense to me Lurkedforever1. I wish I didn't want to sit here and browse on mumsnet with a cup of coffee and 8 toffee pops, but that would be my idea of heaven , in the short term anyway. At least I no longer do that now and I know that I can't, or I'll be overweight again. I can have 2 and stay slim, and enjoy those but it does take a lot of will power.

I wish I could be like you and have your attitude to food

It's luck, not achievement to only eat what I need. Not eating something you don't want in the first place isn't effort worth being proud of. There's far more to be proud about if you want to over eat and don't.

They will be few and far between
because we evolved to stuff our faces when food was there
at a time when food was rarely there

now its always there and our biology has not changed
so for the majority of people its a conscious decision not to over eat.

I can't remember where, so I'm not implying its scientific proof, but I have seen something about flight or famine. Iirc it was extrapolating for humans on the same basis as what we do scientifically know about other species. That depending on where people evolved, their body was predisposed to flight or famine. And in any environment, males the hunters carrying fat supplies around the middle so it didn't impact flight, women carrying it on the lower body because not interfering with reproduction and raising young was more important than flight. Although even that did say once we started migrating it became less noticeable. The main thing today being that some people still have bodies preparing for flight, while others have bodies inclined to prepare for famine. And because of modern lifestyles even some of the flight types are conditioned from a young age to follow the famine prep route. Although back in hunter gatherer days even if food was abundant enough to get obese, you wouldn't have survived long if you had no flight ability.
Broadly speaking it does kind of fit with my observations. Eg those of us who aren't interested in over eating are often built more for flight, usually with longer limbs, straight up and down figure, and weight gain if it does happen rarely being on the lower body. Models may well be scrutinising their diets, but left to their own devices I still doubt any would struggle to stay slim. Whereas pear or hour glass shapes from a bone structure point of view also tend to have to be careful about what they eat in order not to store too much fat on the lower body.
Again it wasn't bonafide scientific research I read, so I won't argue if anyone says there is proof that's all bollocks!

Models may well be scrutinising their diets, but left to their own devices I still doubt any would struggle to stay slim

A model I know well is on Storm's books, did lots of shows in LFW
eats astounding amounts of food but almost all vegetarian and very little junk so stays looking amazing.

That's what I mean, it's that sort of build that generally speaking has self regulation. Although obviously nurture plays a large part too. It would be interesting to find out how much is nature and how much is nurture though.

Almost 5ft 7 and the biggest I have been (mid twenties) was a large 12 which was big for me. I have a tiny waist and almost no hips so still wore the same size. It was easy to deceive myself.

As a child and teen I was slim - size 8-10 and took it for granted that I could eat exactly what I wanted.

I am a small size 12 now, verging on a 10 and have made changes to my eating in order to maintain a slim frame. I think about food a lot but care more about how I look than downing a cake with 500 calories. I count calories so plan my food for the day which helps me feel in control and gives less room for slip ups. I include 2 squares of dark chocolate in my allowance daily but have cut out sweets, all white carbs, juice, fizz. I feel fantastic and my skin has never looked better!

Kate Moss made a statement;
"Nothing tastes as good as looking slim feels". It is so true!

I think there are many many people who struggle with weight. I'm frantically exercising and cutting back because I can't yet fit into my wedding dress and am getting married in 6 weeks. OH is really annoying because at 6ft7 with a physical job he needs to consume so many calories to keep his weight up - not fair especially when every couple of hours he is offering me a snack

Kate Moss made a statement; "Nothing tastes as good as looking slim feels". It is so true!
She never did actually.
AS she's naturally skinny (look at parents and siblings) she can eat what she likes

it was said by Daphne Guinness who is scrawny

It's an age thing for me - I could literally eat what I liked in my 20's & early 30's ( & I did ) but now.......I can put on 4lbs in 48 hours just by eating a few biscuits.

I'm overweight (need to lose about 50lbs if I'm totally honest) and wear a size 16 at 5' 5". I've been dieting pretty constantly since 2012 but I'm obsessed with food and spend every waking moment trying to keep myself on the straight and narrow.

When I take time away from dieting, like when I'm on holiday and allowing myself to eat whatever I want for the duration, I eat far, far less than normal. We were in Paris for four days at the start of this month and DP was baffled by the amount of food I turned down. I walked 10-15mi a day, ate whatever I wanted at meal times and simply wasn't bothered by food in between. My stomach was actually flatter when we left, even after the pastries and chocolates and wine and creamy sauces! Fast forward to now, having been home for three weeks and I've had four massive, guilt-ridden blow outs

Telling myself to restrict my intake sends me haywire so I'm either strictly "on plan" or I'm stuffing myself with gleeful abandon. There is no in between for me.

I will always have to be like that, as I have always over eaten and I just love food! I do have takeaways and treats but get back on the wagon after a day/week of eating what I want and the excess water weight comes straight off. I do actually like my low carbing so I enjoy getting back on it! It's nice to know it will come off again as long as I do limit the treats to no more than a week. The good news is that the longer I am slim, the slower the weight gain is!

I will never not be like this. Just from people I know, I'd say a quarter are naturally slim, half are overweight and the last quarter are slim and desperately trying to remain so

I have spent years (decades) dieting and regaining weight. Must have lost stones and stones since I was 16 on one diet, then another, then no diet etc etc. I finally gave up dieting about five years ago and have lost weight slowly since then. I am now around 9st 10lbs (5ft 4ins) - a weight I would have killed to be before when I was 13.5 stones and rising. I have stopped trying to be perfect and just try to make better choices - have stopped than 'on diet off diet' perpetual circle and cannot tell you how much better I feel. Have just been away for 4 weeks to America - put 6 pounds on and have lost 4 of those since Sunday without effort.

When I think of all those stupid diets I tried, the social occasions I turned down (nothing to wear etc) and the constant up/down the scales I could cry! I cannot get out of the habit of weighing everyday and I know I should not but it works for me. I just wish I had realised I don't need to be perfect 40 years ago - talk about a slow learner.

Just wanted to give Chelle some encouragement. How's it going? You must have about 5 weeks to go.

I got married nearly two weeks ago ( how time has flown) and losing some weight was so worth the ( huge) effort!

We got married somewhere very hot and I always swell up with the heat anyway and if I hadn't lost those 7-10 lbs ( I don't know what my starting weight was ) I would have felt very, very uncomfortable.

A MNetter started a brides to be thread on Jan 1 and I joined in then and I'm so glad I did. I've got down to a 14 or a 12 in some stretch fabrics. A 16 i/ 18 in a fixed waisted dress but I usually have to alter the bodice. I'm happy there. I'm aiming for 10-3 before we go on holiday at the end of this month and 9-13 for Xmas. I want to break the 10 stone barrier this year. If I do it will be the first time I will have been 9 st something for decades.

You see, I'm not naturally a slim person either.the heaviest I've been when not pregnant is 12-3 lbs. I've had to rein myself in all of my adult life. Now I'm doing it with healthy eating. No wheat, dairy or sugar.

It's hard but I'm in my 60's and my body works better when it's not overloaded with junk. 9-12 or 13 is the lowest I intend to go. I don't want to get too wrinkly. Then it will be maintainance hopefully next year.

I can't ever see me not having to keep an eye on my diet. If I take my eye off the ball it just leads to weight gain and a very unhealthy, sick body with lots of digestive issues and pain. I'm that age. I have a wardrobe of lovely clothes so that's my incentive to keep my weight down and a lovely new husband and we like to keep attractive for each other. ( he's gained 2 stone in our 7 years together . He lost 4 lbs our first day back doing the 5:2 diet. 4 lbs! In one day! I could weep! There's a months work for me!)

So, Helena and Chelle stick in there you will be so thrilled you did. Especially when you look back at your photos although I'm sure your memories of your happy day will far outweigh the odd pound or two that stubbornly refused to budge.

If you're on a weight loss forum, chances are you think about food and weight more than the average person

Worrying about my weight will always be with me. I was an overweight child, dieting alongside my mum since primary school days. When I left home, started working etc I gradually started to lose weight and have not been overweight for over a decade now but it is a constant battle, with periodic 'diets' to pull myself back into line when I gain too much.

What's interesting is that slim people who didn't know me in my fat days will make comments about "us" being lucky not to worry about our weights. Perhaps many people are just too kind to say it comes easy to them when talking to someone overweight?

It's a hard mindset to break, and I wholeheartedly agree with helena that it's better for health and weight not to be on a diet. I don't think I'll ever quite be free of my hang-ups so I'm just focussing on not passing these on to my children.

I was thinking exactly this the other day.

I have to be really strict, all the time, otherwise it just piles on.

I wasn’t as strict with myself during summer: more carbs/ice cream/cakes, pasta etc. and I put 7/8 pounds on, fairly easily, even though I was active. And it wasn’t even worth it, because I’ve spent the last few weeks being careful etc which is so boring.

I’m resigned to the fact that I have to be careful/low carb if I don’t want it to creep back on.

Or, I could just say fuck this, I’m eating whatever the hell I please and before I know it I’ll be really obese. But I wouldn’t be as happy as I am when I’m thinner, I’ve been there before and it wasn’t good.

Pretty much all women I know are very careful with their food choices. I’ve noticed that women who are slim (not skinny, just average slim, whatever that is) don’t eat much at all.

“What's interesting is that slim people who didn't know me in my fat days will make comments about "us" being lucky not to worry about our weights’

Same thing for me, Julie.

Luck has nothing to do with it. It’s just damn hard work. But worth it.

I made pasta the other night for supper. In one fifth of the packet was 360 calories! That was the recommended portion size. And the packet wasn't even big!

Just another reminder of how many calories are actually in things such as pasta, bread etc.

julie
If you're on a weight loss forum, chances are you think about food and weight more than the average person
Nope.
At my gym are lots of ladies who have never been overweight in their lives
and they constantly talk about food and drink and meals

it is evolutionarily essential to be that way

what has changed is that food is available and we have to bring our kids up to learn to say no to all of the food on offer
and to think about the impact on themselves of what they eat

slim people eat less
but they still constantly plan their food

athletes are utterly obsessive about their micros (micro nutrients)

dowser thankyou for the kind thoughts. I'm buying a back up wedding dress on Friday (actually my third dress!!).

The first is the current fav. Got pregnant and fat. Lost baby. Bought dress two - that dress makes me sad. So I'm slimming into dress one and getting dress three as a back up!

Whoops!!