Am upset with my weight. <<cries>>

[Getdownfromtherethisinstant]

This is long, sorry, but I need advice. I'm 4'11". I have, over the years, fluctuated between 9-10 stone. Not through dieting as such, just natural up and down between kids etc. 9st is at the heavy end of the scale for my height but I'm fairly 'dense' if that makes sense so at 9st I'm a size 10 and anything lighter than that and I start to look a bit underweight. We moved house two years ago when I was 9 1/2st. At that time I was doing 1200 a day on MFP and walking three miles a day and was quite happy. After moving I got in a bit of a rut and after two years at home with my youngest its piled on. I've been walking lots and started cycling a couple of times a week, and have been trying to eat well. I am still in mostly size 12 clothes since the walking and cycling have shrunk my backside and I've never been especially big on top. I'm starting a new job in Sept and bought a few size 12 dresses on eBay and not a single one of them would do up. I weighed myself a few weeks ago and am 11st!! I have never been this heavy, and it takes my BMI to over 30. I know muscle denser than fat etc but how can I possibly be a size 12-14 and be obese? I've got a fitbit and aiming for 10,000 steps a day. After two weeks of eating reasonably well, averaging 9000 steps and several cycle rides, I'm now 11st 2lb. I could cry. I feel fat and dumpy and like I don't know where to start.

I think people need to remove clothes sizes from the equation, being a size 12 does not automatically = healthy weight range.

If it's any consolation I started a diet thread on here and put on three lbs in A WEEK. I defo wasn't eating enough to put on 3lbs in A WEEK. I'd stick with it, weigh everything - don't guess my friend did mfp and wasn't till she weighed things she found out her portion if potatoes was 5x the size the one on mfp was saying. I'd defo work out what you are meant to be eating (tdee and bmr) if you are shorter it might be less than you think sadly.

Thing is I know what a healthy portion is, I know how much in should be eating to lose, etc etc. It just seems at the moment like I can't get bon top of it IYSWIM. I've downloaded a hypnosis app my friend has been using to great effect, mainly because I think my whole attitude to food needs to change.

I hope this doesn't sound smug but I am about your height but I have always been slim. Last year I went on away camping with a friend who is a similar height to me and also does lots of cycling and running. She was wondering why she is three stone heavier than me despite eating similar food. She was literally served a portion of spag bol for example that was twice as big as I would have. That number of extra calories every day certainly would make a difference over the years. I said nothing and let her carry on about my fast metabolism ( little scientific evidence for this) cos she is my mate and i know better to talk about weight/ diet with female friends.

I don't overeat at mealtimes, bikeandrun, I think my problem is that since being at home I've eaten more between meals and been a bit less active - I exercise, but I'm not constantly on the go as I was when I used to be at work. Plus walking at four year old pace rather than pacing miles with a buggy doesn't help. I was having a bit of a crisis earlier as I've never found myself in this situation of having so much to lose before

Its good you have identified the issues, I am sure you will start to lose weight soon. I remember the pain of walking with a 4 year old, its frustrating but worth getting them fit as on a few years time you can actually do a pretty decent bike ride or walk with them.( just spent the morning trying to persuade ds(9) to go steady on his cross bike) Have you got a tag a long bike. That was really useful when the kids were younger.

Yes, my youngest is just tall enough for the tag along now, it has started to make life much easier. The eldest gives my lungs plenty of exercise as I spend the whole ride calling him to look where he's going...