That time when how shit and fat you are REALLY hits home? Yep, I'm there.

[ShelaghTurner]

So here's the story. I'm 5" 2, been overweight all my adult life (around size 18-22) but the last year particularly I've completely ballooned. I can't write the weights, I really can't. I've been kidding myself that I'm still a 22 but in reality I'm probably a 26, I calculate I've put on about 5 stone in the last year or so. I am a pinhead on a great big mass of flesh.

So I know all this, and am horrified and disgusted. But yesterday I saw The Photo and now I don't even want to leave the house. What the fuck have I done to myself?? I need to change this now before I kill myself with my bad habits.

Also, we're talking about a big extended family holiday in the summer and it turns out there'll possibly be flying involved. The thought of airline seat humiliation is filling me with dread.

To complicate matters I have an injury from a fall which is painful and means I can hobble at best at the moment. This is temporary and getting better but isn't yet. Also, I have severe back ache when I stand or walk for very short distances. This all limits my mobility. I feel 100. I feel shit. I'm constantly knackered and bad tempered. My life is miserable all through my own doing.

I've tried so many diets but just cannot stick to them, am totally pathetic I know. Am now considering surgery (which I know also requires lifestyle changes and isn't a cure all). The thought of it fills me with horror but I don't know where else to turn or where to go from here.

Sorry, this might not make much sense, I just feel shit about myself, shit that I've let it get this far and shit that I didn't do something about it when I was that bit more mobile.

Even though I know all the diets etc, I don't know where to start.

Hi Shelagh, well done for posting, you've taken your first step. Has anything worked for you previously? Is there a friend that you can rope in who will buddy up with you?

This is good though. If you speak to a lot of woman who have had successful weight loss they'll say there was that one picture or situation that made them realise how big they'd gotten. This should give you the motivation you need

I would say go to a weightwatchers or slimming world meeting. They are there to help you and stay for the meeting they will have lots of tips and keep you motivated. Good luck. You can do it, small steps.

Take a look at the Slimming World section. There's a poster called Worryingwombat who started a thread called her 22 stone (or thereabouts) mission which is amazing. She is very inspiring and has posted photos, joined a gym and been very honest.

Thanks Juggling. I've lost weight previously through straight up calorie counting. It's the only thing that's really worked, biggest loss was about 4 stone and I have the My fitness Pal app which is good for that. I know all the theory, I just can't seem to put it into practice.

Hi Shelagh, second the previous poster. Realizing and accepting you want to change is a huge first step. Congratulations!

I'm the same as you, I know all the rules but don't stick to them. Have thought about why you over eat? Emotional triggers and so on?

I joined Slimming World just over a month ago, went to the initial meeting then had the fall which, for 2 weeks I missed because I literally could not stand. Since then I've been too scared to go back because I know I'll probably be even heavier than that initial weigh in.

You should go and see your GP first.

Then you should read Zoe Harcombe.

Everyone needs a wake up moment and this sounds like yours. Really hope you manage to get started on your weight loss. I know from experience that once you make a start the buzz of losing is a great incentive to keep on track.

Stop it. Stop calling yourself shit and pathetic. I mean it. Start talking about yourself in a kind and positive way. Would you let someone speak that way about your mother/sister/daughter/best friend? No. You deserve better and when you properly realise that, you will treat yourself better by eating better.

You don't need a 'diet.' You need to understand why you're overeating so you can knock it on the head. I suggest 'I can make you thin' by Paul McKenna plus 'I Quit Sugar.' The first will help you eat to appetite. The second will stop the hunger/bingeing cycle. Diets and calorie restriction will make you fucking miserable then eventually you'll finish slimming world or whatever and go back to bad habits.

Download those books and FIND SOMETHING NICE TO SAY ABOUT YOURSELF!!

I second Zoe Harcombe. Forget calorie counting for now and think about upping protein and lowering carbs. I don't believe in low carbing but moderate carbs works well.

You'll see good results on ZH. I'm not overweight as such but I do sit around the top end of my BMI and I drop half a stone in five days when I do phase one of ZH. Oh and it's all sensible normal eating too

Thanks everyone. Just started reading Wombat's thread which sounds so positive. This really is a wake up call. I've got two young daughters, this isn't the example I want to set or the mother I want to be.

The eldest is a mummy's girl and would love to do more things with me. Her dream would be the two of us out on our bikes (yes I do have one!) but it's impossible and I'm full of excuses.

I know it doesn't help to call myself names, but it's honestly how I feel. I could list reasons why (depression, DH made redundant a year ago (just started working again, phew!), a mother who constantly picks on my appearance and completely destroyed my confidence) but ultimately it's because I can't stop stuffing my face with crap.

It's got to stop. Or I'll be dead before I'm 50.

I second Zoe harcombe and low carbing.
I think a lot of what we have been told re diets since the second world war was based on flawed research.
You shouldn't need to buy speak a meals, or drinks or starve yourself to lose weight.
I have just started c25k - I am in my second week and it's hard but I am determined!

Honestly I know that feeling so well although admittedly it was "only" 6 stone I needed to lose. Over the years I did everything, weight watchers, slimming world, atkins, you name it I tried it and they all worked for a bit but as soon as I stopped the weight went straight back on. That to be honest was the crux of it for me the way those plans encourage you to eat was not a way I could continue to eat in the long term. What finally worked for me was doing it all myself, I lost 6 stone without doing any exercise and it took me a year.

What I will say is this, there will be plenty of people including those that will post on this thread who say exercise is vital and you are still unhealthy if you don't exercise, they're right to a point, but no one can convince me that at 6 stone lighter than I was I am not healthier than I was before.

What I realised at my heaviest was that the eating habits I had developed to get to that weight had not all happened in one day, so why did I think I would be able to cope with changing everything the day I started what ever diet it was and be able to maintain that! I'd start with all good intentions spend a couple of days feeling extremely hungry and then cave. So I decided to change one thing and one thing only every week. I carried on eating as normal including mainlining mini chocolate bars all day but after my evening meal instead of sitting down eating more chocolate and ice-cream I'd have a bowl of cereal and grapes. No one will tell you that that is acceptable on a diet but once I had got used to that for a week or so I'd change something else, only allow myself one mini chocolate bar between breakfast and lunch and maybe two across the course of the afternoon. I made very small changes week after week and never restricted the amount of fruit I ate as I am someone who needs to constantly graze and had just been grazing on the wrong things.

Eventually I started to change the meals I ate, ate slightly smaller portions and healthier food but again I didn't start this until maybe two months after initially saying I was going to change the way I ate. I also didn't tell anyone and was so overweight no one noticed a change until I'd lost 2.5 stone and nor did I get any comments on what I was eating as the changes were initially so minimal.

I have kept the weight off for 7 years now but I still don't have a healthy attitude to food, I used to think all thin people were healthy eating fitness fanatics which also used to make me think being thin was unachievable, I'd still rather have the large slice of cake for lunch and snack on fruit throughout the day than I would a large healthy balanced meal, not everyday but if I feel like it that's absolutely what I do. I also don't do what I used to which is say for example I ate something "bad" on a friday night then that would give me carte blanche to eat whatever crap I fancied all over the weekend and then"start again" on the Monday. Now I eat it enjoy it and carry on as normal from then on. I will always have the propensity to over eat and binge on junk, people who have only known me thin sometimes comment on how much I can eat. What has shocked me in my thin years is that food is something I will always have an issue with and in some days I think about it more now than I did when I was fat.

No of this will help you in the short term I know but I just wanted to give you a different perspective to the, stop eating all the crap as of now and start going for small walks brigade, there are other ways to lose weight and you need to find whatever works for you.

You're not shit or pathetic.

You can totally change how you feel and look.

Small steps-
Can you swim? Go for a swim which will be gentle on your injury.
Walk- does your local community have a walking group? You should join them and go for a walk. If you can buy a fit bit and get walking. In fact I have one, pm me, you can have it.

Change everyone's eating habits. Fill your house with yummy delicious foods. Get back on mfp.

You can absolutely do this.

I know I've just posted an epic but it was that setting myself up for failure thing of going to a slimming class, counting calories etc that meant I could never sustain my weight loss in the long term. It works for so many people I am not knocking it but don't beat yourself up if it doesn't work for you.

Hi OP. I know you say you've tried all the diets but have you had a look at a VLCD? (Like Cambridge Diet but there is a much cheaper one out there - I can give you details if you're interested. It works for me because the weight comes off very quickly (average is about a stone per month). When you have a lot to lose you can feel very disheartened at how long a process it is but, for me, the speed of a VLCD keeps me motivated. Having said that I'm really struggling to get back into it at the moment but it's the only thing that's ever really worked for me.

We have changed how we eat, all of us. It's a lifestyle change for life, not a diet, iyswim?

It's taken a long time but we have switched lots of things-
No refined sugars
Brown rice/pasta
No bread
No biscuits in the house
No cakes in the house- to be fair no one in the house has a particularly sweet tooth.
No fizzy pop/juice/squash
Limit alcohol intake.

I didn't need to lose weight, but wanted to get really fit. Dh had a health scare. So we just made lots of small changes over time, joined the gym, completed some running comps. It's been over a year now and I feel and look great, as does dh.
Good luck!

I agree with winkly. Don't think about yourself in those terms!

Well done for posting on here. Lots of us have been where you are today. This is a positive step!

What is working for me is 3 x meals a day. No snacking! I've cut out refined carbs, processed food, sugar and dairy.

For breakfast I normally eat eggs with some steamed asparagus and tomato with olive oil drizzled on top. This morning I actually ate left over venison with leftover veg from lunch yesterday!

Lunch is homemade chicken soup. I make a huge vat of it and eat it during the week.
Or a mackerel salad with grated apple and cucumber with some seeds for extra crunch.

Supper is meat/fish and green vegetables.

I drink 3 litres of water a day, especially when I start to feel "hungry"

I'm an emotional eater and the worst time of the day for me are the hours between 4-6pm. That's when I would naturally reach for biscuits, crisps, chocolate and wine!

A great snack is apple or celery with a scraping of almond butter. Especially if you are feeling like you need to eat something.

The weight will fall off quite quickly and then you can start walking slowly. Or swimming, though I completely understand you wouldn't be comfortable doing that until you're slimmer.

Good luck lovely!!

When you started slimming world - did you think it looked ok, as in suited you and sustainable?

If so I'd go back, it works really well if it suits you (I know it isn't right for everyone, but it works for me).

This is what I eat, it's not a diet, jut food.

Breakfast smoothie or Greek you with berries, and a small sprinkling of granola

Salad of feta, beets, avocado and some seeds

Chicken or fish, mammoth amount of greens. Sometimes pasta with roasted verges, garlic and anchovies, or a vege stew with chorizo and feta.

Loads of water, maybe some peppermint tea.

So much advice, thank you so much. I will read and digest (no pun intended!) it all.

When I've done diets in the past I've naturally dropped carbs right down as they really are my downfall. I'm not especially fussed about sweet things but would sell my granny for bread, pasta etc. Also taking on advice about sugar, which is 'new' since my last successful weight loss. I'm completely addicted to diet coke too. I'm sure that doesn't help either.

Slimming World looked ok... Had heard good things about it but hadn't had a chance to see if it was right for me.

I really want to do this myself, the thought of possibly taking a surgical route is, to me, ridiculous. I made myself like this, i should be able to undo it.

Don't diet.
Don't ban any foods.

Just calorie count.
Post here for support (one poster has lost something like 6 stone from 22 stone)
Use my fitness pal. Google and work out your tdee and your bmr. Set your calorie total somewhere in between that number.
Don't worry about exercise for now.

You can do this and it'll make a huge difference very quickly.

I can't cope with carb restriction either so don't restrict it when you start to make changes, just after you've got used to the new way of eating and don't feel at all deprived start reducing the portion sizes or swapping bit by bit to wholemeal versions of the carbs you like. I'm like a broken record but bit by bit is a lot easier to adapt to for some people. Other people thrive on the big weight loss you get early on by doing it all at once. There is no right way for everyone but there will be a right way for you and you just need to work out what it is and accept it even if it isn't the way anyone else you talk to has lost weight.