Overweight daughter

[40thisisit]

Hi, I always knew my 11 year old was on the chunky side but was quite horrified when I found out today she weighs 11 stone. She is tall for her age (170cm) so I think she was hiding it really well. In a bid to get her more active we had bought a cross trainer and to set up her profile she had to enter her weight. She is very upset about what she weighs but she loves food so much that I think it's going to be a hard task for her to eat healthily. I totally know what eating healthily means as I studied nutrition at Uni but I think it's so much harder to deal with when it's your own flesh and blood. I'm really scared of her developing some horrid eating disorder. My mum was always obsessed with her weight and consequently I am always aware of what I'm eating and weigh.
Apart from the obvious of increase the activity levels and cut out unhealthy snack and drinks does any-one have any other advice?

What is her normal diet like (describe a typical day). 11 stone for 5'6 isn't too bad for an adult but a little bit more than you'd expect for a child. Can you up the exercise without making a big deal of it? Walking more? Trampolining? Joining something she has an interest in?

Thanks Mandy, at home her diet is pretty ok but I think it's at school and stopping at the shop with friends to and from school that's a problem. We're also encouraging her to join a beginners running club next week for children, she did it last year but then it folded over winter.
The thing that makes it so unfair for her is her older and younger sisters are super slim and eat loads!

Speak to your doctor because in some areas there's groups to help children who struggle with being overweight. They do about food, do activities together. It might help her.

Do you do much exercise together as a family? Biking, swimming, hiking etc ?

Can you take up running too and you can do it together?

She is heavy. Is he eating lots of carbs? Veg?

Sounds fine. Has she gone through puberty early? She's tall and as such weighs more. You say she eats healthily so don't worry.

www.cdc.gov/growthcharts/data/set2clinical/cj41l072.pdf

If she was 13, she would be on the very top percentile for height and weight.

According to the nhs bmi calculator it says she is very overweight. Jab étouffée tried entering her exact details into it?

It's the bmi calculator (for children) that's important not the centile charts, they can be falsely reassuring.

Is a good time of year to be approaching his as the weather is improving so can get out and about as a family and eat lighter summery foods. Watch portion sizes, particularly of carbs. I wouldn't cut anything out completely just adjust how often or how much f certain foods are eaten.

Areax to think about - Does she snack at home? What does she drink? How often do you have pudding?

Yes I got very over weight on the NHS BMI calculator too. 98 percentile for weight I think?

Hi 40, just wanted to say that there was a study published a few years ago looking into childhood weight loss methods which showed that amount eaten is way more significant than exercise. Exercise makes children healthy but just doesn't do the job for weight loss. Am trying to rember the study but maternity leave has addled my mind!
I'd really look at portion size/snacking but keep going with the exercise for health rather than size reasons.
Hope it all works out

Could you send her with healthy snacks. So veg sticks

I think sometimes we're so afraid of giving our children eating disorders that we allow them continue with pretty bad eating habits. She's at an age you can nip it in the bud pretty easily but I agree it's more food than exercise for weight loss.

Many thanks, some great advice. Yes need to nip in bud sooner rather than later.

Could she already have disordered eating? If your Mother was a dieter and obsessed with her weight, you say this passed to you so you may be giving off your own disordered eating signals which she has picked up on. Could you look at why she overeats. It often has an emotional cause. If she has heard/seen you dieting then this could cause her to have her own problems with food. She could be ovetesting for lots of reasons. Putting her on a diet and being overly concerned about her weight will only make it worse and she may develope eating disorders.

For some reason it would seem that she is comfort eating by eating more than she needs so instead of stopping eating when her appetite has been satisfied, she is continuing to eat beyond her body's requirements.

My twelve year old dd is 5'8". Before she got her periods she was a bit heavier but this year she has shot up in height and lost weight. So might be a hormonal thing.

Love my daughter was the same. I resisted the urge to comment on her weight in any way as I didn't want her to develope any problems with her body image. Within a year or two she slimmed down and her own body image was intact.

In terms of her being upset about what she weighs it is a number, no more no less. She also needs to understand that it is normal for tall people to weigh more and that she isn't going to be 8stone anytime soon. This strikes a chord with me, because I am tall and I remember being heavier than my peers in my teens really really hard.

If she loves food then surely eating healthily is easier than if she was fussy?

At 5'6 and 11 stone, unless she is very muscular, she has gained excess weight. However it's not so much excess weight that it can't be lost naturally and more permanently over a longer period by changing eating habits than by going on a diet.

I would focus on health rather than weight.

Equally, if she eats well and has fun doing something active regularly she will probably feel better about herself anyway, whatever her weight.