New Mums: Pre-diet we had pride, now we want new bodies!

[SolitudeSometimesIs]

Here we go again!

Ok it's the magic thread where we find inspiration, motivation and actually see the results we want and manage to hold on to them once we get them.

No more excuses (unless they are hilarious or necessary).

Welcome all!

Sorry your tooth is still sore. have you tried taking paracetamol and brufen together?

Plane crash just unbelievably vile. Can't comprehend how someone would do that, ill or not, he knew what he was doing to lock the other pilot out, imo of course :(

It's probably hormones Beyond, my period was late this month so it's thrown me somewhat. I do get the mid cycle thing too, I usually eat even more than usual though. Did you manage to stop breastfeeding? We are still going and I think that is messing everything up.

I wish they didn't start until they are 6. DD barely spoke until she started nursery and is very quiet when there. She is getting more confidence but the school is very academic. SIL says she is fine and they are just doing it for their progress reports for OFSTED. It still makes me sad though.

What did you see at the cinema? Have a good day tomorrow.

Yes we stopped in Feb, she seemed to lose interest. She now tries to put her hand down my top all the time now though and we are still co sleeping. DS has realised this and now has started to wake in the night saying he wants to sleep with us too. We are exhausted.

We went to see Home. It was good. DD fell asleep for 1/2 but was good, was bit worried would need to take her out!

I agree, 4 is too small. It's weird I don't mind them going to nursery as much (not the one he first went to, I am much happier with the one now), but know they are playing and having a nice time there with no one really assessing them..

I keep forgetting to take painkillers (so it's probably not that bad really!).

Which Urban decay did you fancy? I have Naked one which is okay and Basics 2 which I use more.
Nars is my favourite makeup though. I have quite afew of their eyeshadow palettes so I think you made a good choice. I love their lip pencils too, the creamy concealer and tinted moisturiser. I'm dying to try the new lipsticks but I'm trying to wait awhile.

I mean this as an honest question - but how can a 3 year old be behind in numeracy and literacy? Is your daughter learning how to read? My DS is 3 and hasn't started any of that, he's only in Montessori and can write his name and stuff but not really much else. There's bloody ages to learn all of that stuff. DS1's forte seems to be saying poo - a lot!

A small bit of naan and a poppadom won't cause too much havoc, you avoided rice and I think that's the secret fat maker. I think brufen is the way to go with a toothache, do you think you might have an infection and need an antibiotic? Congratulations on the 4 lbs, that's brilliant.

Did you enjoy your diet fail Beyond? That sounds like a great day! You sound like you have a very busy few days ahead. Did you see that Graham Dwyer was found guilty of the murder of Elaine O'Hara? I feel very relieved about the whole thing, he is an animal.

As for the plane crash? Utterly horrific act of a coward. I keep thinking of the Mother who was travelling with her tiny baby. It breaks my heart.

That's how I feel about the plane crash too. Those poor people and their families.

Green don't forget to take your painkillers! Set a reminder in your phone. Toothache is horrific.

I'm taking notes on all of the make up tips, I am a Benefit girl but I like to try new things.

I'm glad that GD was found guilty. I only read about it when you both mentioned it, but the evidence was extremely disturbing.

I'm going to be one of those mothers on TV feeding a 6yo aren't I? She was losing interest then got Chicken pox and started feeding more. it's reducing again. It's only on a bedtime now. I just need to be tough. It's the pitiful cry of booooobieees at bedtime that makes me crumble.

I don't know how she is behind Sol. Her targets are to count to ten without skipping numbers. The literacy ones are to know which letters words begin with. She can't write her name yet, but that isn't a target for her. She can do those things anyway at home but she tends to sit back and let others answer at nursery. I always thought they just played at nursery and did all the other stuff when they started school? It just upsets me, especially the thought that she is not getting as much attention because she is quiet and I'm not pushy?

I never thought about an infection! I will ring on Monday if it still hurts. I think it's where the injection went in rather than the actual tooth. I honestly saw stars and my eye started twitching like mad. No wonder people are scared of the dentist!

Do you ever read Sali Hughes' column in the Guardian Beyond? That has some good suggestions and videos if you want new ideas. Her book is interesting too.
I still like Benefit stuff. I got a magazine with the new mascara on the front last month. It is very good.

There's a brilliant kids show on Nick Jnr called Wallykazam that DS1 watches and it's all about letters, words and sounds. He has learned tons from it. Tiny tots should not be given learning goals, it's too ambitious. I am about to say something that is the stuff of Tiger Mothers nightmares but: what is the point of teaching them all this stuff so young when they are going to be doing it in primary school anyway? My DH is super intelligent and he remembers being bored out of his brain all the way through school because he always skipped ahead and taught himself. His Mum encouraged this instead of giving him other things to become interested in. It is my dread that I would have a child bored by education because they are ahead of everyone else so I take a laid back approach to learning.

Be careful with your teeth. DH had a post filling abscess and he needed it drained and antibiotics, it was awful.

The stuff that is coming out about GD is awful now that the press are no longer having to balance the guilty/innocent thing. He is a terrible human and he deserves everything that is coming to him. I was so relieved when he was found guilty but even his behaviour since then has shown a level of arrogance and psychopathy that is very chilling.

I'll have a look at that programme Sol.

I think the whole thing is ridiculous and yes they will be doing it all again next year as new children will be joining the year group.
She is going into a 'target' group and will no doubt miraculously make 3 levels of progress by July and the school will reach their Ofsted target too. I'll never be a Tiger Mother. Childhood is about having fun and learning skills, not stressing out over targets.
My daughter is Obsessed with poo too!

A target group? That sounds a little like the other kids are going to be throwing stuff at them.

It's a non-fast day here, thank the Lord. I am super starving and DS2 was up at 5.55am so I had an early start fuelled by coffee and a bagel. Dh was taking pictures of the kids this morning and I was in the background and the absolute size of me. I could have cried. It has made me feel like shit

I really want this Exante food to show up so I can get rid of the fat that I have duvet-ed myself in. My plan is to do one week and then order some shakes and bars and look to do it through the summer on a 5 days on, 2 days off sort of system. I feel really dreadful about how I look. It has been such a wake up call for me. I look so much bigger than I thought I was (I have backwards body dysmorphia clearly).

Oh, I meant to add that seeing those pictures has not sent me in to the understanding arms of crisps and chocolate. I am more determined than ever. That will be the last fat pic that makes me want to cry.

Sorry you felt like that Sol. I'm sure you don't look anywhere as near as bad as you imagine. If you've just been 'caught' in the picture you are never going to look brilliant. I look crap in 98% of all photographs (fact).
As you keep telling me - you are being too hard on yourself. I imagine having been up so early and it being a Saturday morning you aren't exactly going to be groomed and perfect. You seem like a lovely person and it really doesn't matter how you look in a picture. no one need ever see it anyway.

I don't think you have body dismorphia at all. Cameras do actually lie, DH is very into photography and has a lot of equipment. Some of the pictures do look distorted because of the lens used. Viewing it on the camera screen or even laptop is not a true likeness of the image.
Plus in real life people can see your 3D image, so you look more in proportion then in a picture. I worked with teenagers (when I was the weight I am now -so a good size 16) who can be extremely harsh but I was never called fat. (Apart from the rare occasion that I had to tell someone off) I think everyone else is too hung up on their own problems to focus too much on others.

Good for you for avoiding comfort eating though. It was last year's holiday pictures that finally spurred me on to losing that 2 stone (now 1.5 stone!). I really hope that your Exante turns up soon and works for you.

i've err 'slipped up' on the dieting tonight. But I'll moan about that tomorrow.

I have ordered more Exante as I got an email with a pretty good offer in it so I thought I'd strike while the motivation was there and get some shakes and bars.

I have a very lovely DH who listened to me this morning as I complained about how shit was feeling and his opinion is that if I want to throw myself in to dieting he will back me all the way. He then packed me off to meet a friend for coffee so she could listen to me instead

Thanks for the kind words Green, I just feel like I'm not making the best of myself and I'm struggling to do it alone. I'm not thinking that Exante will be the end of my weight woes but I need something that will take meal decisions out of my hands for a while and let me get some head space.

The pictures are dreadful, there's about 18/19 of them and I'm caught at various angles in all my rotund glory. I really thought I looked ok (hence backwards body dysmorphia)but in truth I am very, very heavy. I'm very bloated and my legs are so thick. It was very shocking to see.

However I have decided to turn it in to motivation and really focus on improving how I look. My lovely friend was very supportive this morning and could see how down I was, but I will stick to Exante and I will be thin again.

How's everybody else doing?

What was your slip up last night Green?

Oh Sol - sorry you are feeling rubbish. I agree with Green , photo's just captures a fraction of an image and so it's not what people see in real life. I think you are probably being hard on yourself but I can see a skinny future ahead for you {grin} Well done for not comfort eating. I hope you get your order soon.

I have had 4 terrible days of eating +++ Putting off weighing in and planning on fasting for next 4 days before Easter. Will be starting exante the week after Easter. I feel I need to be good for a few weeks, rather than losing 1/2 stone and then putting it back on...

How are you Green?

You sound very determined Sol. Has your first order turned up yet?
Your husband and friend sound very supportive.

I know what you mean about not making the best of yourself. I've got a target in my head of 12 stone and keep saying to myself 'when I lose weight, I'll do xyz..' It's really silly because life is for living and I don't want to regret not doing things because I hadn't lost weight. I'm trying to dress nicely and do my hair and makeup everyday. I'm also trying not to say 'when I lose this weight'.

I've went back to 5:2 today. I felt rubbish on Saturday because I'd put weight back on and I didn't feel like I was committing myself to doing Exante properly. I didn't go mad or anything on Saturday. I just ate a normal roast dinner. I have too many 'things' on over the next 2 weeks. I'm going back to 5:2. I'm thinking that I'll try the Exante again on 13th April.

I did try quite hard with Exante last week, but by Thursday I was only eating the bars. I think they might be too high in carbs for me. When I do it again I'm going to try having more shakes and limiting bars to one per day. Just thought that might be useful to mention.

Your plan sounds sensible Beyond, that's kind of how I feel about dieting at the moment.

My fast day went a bit wrong at the end. Think ended up around 1000 cals, Will try again tomorrow...

Sounds like we will all be doing Exante after Easter :)

It's a good plan and we can do it together.

My Exante arrived after lunch today so I'm going to start tomorrow. So I'm drinking the rest of my wine and eating the nice dips and chips that we have in, coz I'm a trooper like that

I'm going super strict on Exante for the first 2 weeks and then will see where I am.

Green I think you should maybe write off this week and go for it after Easter. We can be motivated with you and stay on track. Maybe a few days to eat off plan will get the need for carbs out of your system.

Shall we make a plan to be back on plan after Easter?

What do you think Beyond?

I agree Sol, I've had an awful eating day and can't seem to get back into it. I'm so annoyed with myself, know I gained and dread to think how much. I plan to start on Monday and will do a strict week and then an evening meal for the second week.

Enjoy your wine and chips Sol. Good luck with exante tomorrow. I just now you are going to lose loads.

I haven't seen that column in the Guardian Green -I will look out for it.
Also not read any updates on the trial, may google later. He sounded vile though, not surprised more things have been said since.

I think I will weigh in on Monday. I am preparing to be horrified...! I just seem to balloon as soon as I eat carbs.

How things Green?

Good luck for tomorrow Sol. Are you excited for the skinniness? It's probably best to get all the nice food and drink out of the way first.

Sorry you've had a bad day Beyond, but 1000 calories yesterday was still pretty good. It's freezing here today so I don't think I could have fasted.
I did really well yesterday, I even measured out my milk! I just had one meal which seems to make it easier.
Had an okay food day today. I went on a school trip so didn't have a chance to eat much. I'm really tired, I hate the clocks going forward.
I'm going to try to fast again tomorrow.

I am very excited by my impending skinniness. I need to it to work this time, it is so draining feeling shit about myself all the time.

Where did you go on your trip Green? I'm glad you had 2 good days in a row, you seem to be getting in to it again. It's freezing here too and the kids are bonkers since the time changed - I hate when they muck about with the clocks.

Don't be prepared to be horrified Beyond, be prepared to be motivated! That's a positive way to look at it I think. We'll all be in the same boat come next Monday and I know I will need you both to give me advice for my next few days on Exante.

I am having my wine now. I won't have any for ages - parting is such sweet sorrow

We've been to a farm. We held chicks and fed the lambs and goats. I cuddled a guinea pig , and we went on a tractor ride! We also saw a lamb being born. I enjoyed it, glad I wasn't organising it though!

I managed without alcohol for at least 10 weeks last year (on Exante, not the total number of booze free days). Once the weight starts coming off it's really motivating and I got out of the habit quite quickly.

Do you have any particular plan of action for tomorrow? What meals do you like the sound of?

I find the first few days of the week okay, it's just when it gets to Thursday that I slip up. I think I'll just use my Exante up after Easter and try to 5:2 or 4:3. Maybe if I get more organised with cooking I'll be able to stick at it?

I was talking to DH's cousin the other week. She lots loads (about 4stone) though calorie counting about 2years ago. But since moving back to the UK she's put some back on and has joined Slimming World. She seems to go mad on a weekend, eat nothing for 2 days before she gets weighed. Then she eats sensibly on a weekend. She's been losing 2lb a week! Diets are fascinating!

I am going to have porridge for breakfast, soup for lunch (probably veg) and the curry with rice for dinner. I ordered a ton of shakes that will arrive next week so I've lots of hot meals until then. I was reading a Minimins thread and they were putting hot water in the milkshakes to make lattes and hot chocolates so I'm hoping that might stave off the cold.

My plan is to choose my 3 meals the night before and then hide the big box the food came in. I don't want my kids seeing it as I don't want them to wonder why I'm not eating normal food - my Mum was on a diet throughout my childhood and I want the boys to remain oblivious to it all. By the age of 8 my day was ruined/good if I felt fat or not so I want to avoid all of that with the lads. I might be imposing my own issues on the subject but it worries me.

I know people who have had great results with Slimming World but they have all needed to lose huge amounts of weight and those who have a stone or two to lose have found it very slow.

Diets are fascinating, you're right. A friend of mine swears by weight watchers but starves herself with zero points soup and minimum points to lose weight. Yet she mocks a low calorie diet without realising that's exactly what she is doing.

As women we torture ourselves with weight.

I love reading the diaries on Minimims. I like blending the shakes with ice and I sometimes add instant coffee to all but the strawberry.

I should have said DH's cousin eats sensibly for the rest of the week. I think she's just using Slimming World to get weighed (expensively)!
I know what you mean about Slimming World. The magazines etc really encourage healthy eating, but I found the meetings generally very poor. Lots of people talking about cheat meals and encouraging huge portions. Oh and the weird love of Muller lites!

I look forward to the review of the curry. I like the veg soup and porridge.

My eldest asks why I'm not eating with them. She doesn't notice that Exante isn't real food. It's hard to get the balance right with children. I do worry about them growing up with healthy attitudes towards food.
My mam was also always on a diet. I remember going to Weight Watchers with her when I must have only just been 3. She also does the no point soup etc. I think it messes with your metabolism in the end. Her and my dad having been doing 5:2 since January. My Dad has lost weight, but my mam hasn't lost any more than she normally might with WW. She still goes every week and tries to follow it. She was sure I was starving myself when I tried it last year.

It's all madness.