New Mums: Pre-diet we had pride, now we want new bodies!

[SolitudeSometimesIs]

Here we go again!

Ok it's the magic thread where we find inspiration, motivation and actually see the results we want and manage to hold on to them once we get them.

No more excuses (unless they are hilarious or necessary).

Welcome all!

Oh Green I hate my weekends being used up by other people. It's so infuriating. It used to be every weekend here until I started responding to demands with "Well I'm here during the week, why don't you call in then, it suits us better". And then when they get shirty I can at least say that I offered. I get a bit territorial because it's the only time we can do stuff with all of us and it's also time where I can get a break. Have you tried ring-fencing some weekends where no plans can be made?

I'm going to start the minute I get my grubby hands on the dehydrated packets of skinniness. DH has said he will do it for a week (this will use up all the meaty ones that I won't eat) as he has put on a few pounds and wants to lose them quickly.

I'll be your meal guinea pig Beyond, hopefully it won't be along the lines of "the rehydrated curry was nice, portion a little small, killed and ate next doors jack russell with my bare hands to tide me over until dinner".

Mmmm Jack Russell.

I've got pretty good at stopping DH running round after people on a weekend. There's just been a spate of relatives visiting. Then there is Easter, then Birthday season. It's kind of forgotten that I have family too.

My DH could never eat the packets of skinniness (I love that!). Food is one of the few things that can make him angry! (Not in a bad way, he'd just go out and buy something better!)

Jack Russell :)

I over ate today - I need to address my either being on a diet or eating too much way of thinking.

Anyway, will fast tomorrow and Wednesday.

I completely agree re the weekends, I have 2 days in the week where family could visit, instead they also want the weekend when DH is around. I am feeling quite negative towards my family at the mo though.... No offers to help either, although they are quite happy to come round here and be waited on and eat cake!

Can you visit your family during the week? It's very hard to plan when different things crop up.

I think DH will have to add other foods to the Exante menu but he will probably stick to it pretty well.

We're not doing much for Easter, I feel like I'm missing out as you all have plans. Easter isn't a big deal here, it's just a day for chocolate.

Oh I hate the sitting on their arses and waiting to be handed coffee and cake. I often leave DH to it and do some tidying upstairs (play around on MN on the computer).

I also seethe if people bring food they know I don't like and then seem shocked when I won't eat it. Thanks a million for the revolting rhubarb tart that only you like and will HAVE to take home with you as no one in this house eats it!!! Grrrr. But while you are here please stuff yourself on our food.

Is everything ok Beyond? Feel free to vent (as I did above).

I see my parents during the week. It's just taken for granted that we will spend all Easter weekend with the inlaws. I think I'll just put my foot down.
They have a second home that they go to as often as possible so if DH wants to see them on a weekend he has to visit there, so it's not just a quick trip.

MIL was even trying to organise my Birthday the other day . I never see them for long on the day normally. It wasn't anything useful either (like babysitting for me). I was so taken aback I forgot to point out that I'll be going out for a meal with my own parents (DH is going on a stag do that weekend).

I'm fine Sol. Think finally accepted how one sided things are in my family (it's a bit complex though). I have moved on and distanced myself a bit. It's easier.

I am a bit fed up we have no offer to babysit or help at all. It would be nice to have a little time to ourselves of even for DH to go out (once since DS was born - and he is almost 4!).

I am determined to fast the next 2 days, can't go off the rails now!

Can you plan a nice day our for Easter?

Your MIL sounds really over bearing Green. I hope you have told them you have other plans?
DH's family are nice but live 3 hours away, so we can't ask them to babysit really. He does have a sister nearer but she never offers and I don't feel confident she could look after them!

Your DH sounds very disciplined Sol.

I was angry at my DB for bringing a homemade custard tart round last week. It was delicious!

Families are funny things. I suppose I'm quite lucky with all mine. But I feel that my inlaws would love us all living together in a big 'family commune'! (Seriously it has been suggested)

Oh God Green. Bet you smile gracefully a lot!

We actually get on quite well, but yes I do smile and nod a lot.

My Birthday isn't for ages so I was taken by surprise. If it's mentioned again I'll point out my plans and book some babysitting time in when DH gets back.

It's a shame you don't have anyone to help Beyond. We don't get out much either but that's mainly because DH is always at work. At least I have people to ask if we really wanted too.
I'm lucky really, even with bossy inlaws.

Jesus Green your in-laws sound very intense (a commune!!!). It sounds very much like everything is on their terms. I think you might need to start saying no a bit more, does your DH need to stay overnight if he visits? Do your in-laws have other kids they can inflict themselves on or is your DH an only child? Can you Skype instead of visiting?

Families are nuts, but I think we get used to our own craziness and then when you get married it opens up your life to another set of bonkers behaviour. We get no help either, there's the "any time you need a babysitter just ask" line that is trotted out but it never happens. Dh goes out quite a bit in the evening and I stay in, it suits us. I can see my friends during the day more than he can. I think the last time we were out together for a few hours without the kids was January but we had put the kids to bed before we went out so there was no "work" for MIL to do.

You sound like you've had a tough time of it too Beyond. Can you get a babysitter so you could head out with your DH? Even do like we did and have the kids asleep so basically they just have to sit there and listen. It's hard isn't it? But then I think that it's only for a few years and then the kids will be off doing their own thing and I can claw back some time with my Husband.

They only live 5mins away, He works with his dad!
Their other house is an hours drive, it's just irritating as they choose not to see our children some weeks but expect us to spend the weekend/full day with them. They live next door to BIL &SIL so go away on weekends to get away from them (my opinion!). They look after their children a lot.

I think they feel guilty about not doing much for us so tend to over compensate.

I won't moan anymore, they aren't my parents. Plus they buy me wine.

I am have asked one of the ladies at nursery if they can babysit for us one night over Easter. Fingers crossed, will be nice to go out together.

Sorry my post didn't make sense, it was supposed to say, DH and I have only been out together once in 4 years (without DC). Although the we only go out on our own 3-4 times a year i.e. work christmas night out, birthday drinks, work function
I think we need to start going out more, as we don't have any help it will need to be without each other but at least we will be doing things other than be a children's entertainer :)
Maybe we should aim that we both do something nice each month. Having said that I have got a day to myself this week (again my 1st in 4 years!). I am going shopping and out for lunch. I will really enjoy the time on my own.

Fast day today - just had 2 coffees so far. Planning soup for lunch and prawn stir fry for dinner.
Tomorrow my plan is yogurt, soup and stir fry again. Think I can just do 500 cals with this plan.
How's it going? Day 2 on Exante is normally a hungry day, so hope you a re feeling strong Green!

Not fast day today but I only had a soup, bagel (plain) and crisps for lunch and some celary and carrots with hummous for dinner. Oh and a few noodles off DS1's plate. I'm really trying to keep the cals down on non-fast days.

Getting out is essential Beyond, but I also like my nights in by myself or sometimes I invite a friend over when DH is out. I think it's good to do stuff separately, even just so we can have different things to talk about the next day. I hope your babysitter works out over Easter, it'll be great if you can have some support.

It's good to have a decompress sometimes Green. Although I wish my IL's bought me wine, I've missed a trick there. How is Exante Day 2 going? You haven't murdered anyone in a protein fuelled rage have you?

You sound really focused Sol. I think on a non fast day, you are supposed to be over 1500 calls though? Not sure of the science behind it though.
I think I probably went over 500 but was less than 600 - so not too bad.

Yes, hopefully we will get a night out soon (fingers crossed re nursery lady). Do you know how much I should pay? I as thinking maybe £30 for 3 ish hours.

Was just reading in chat about the murder case in Ireland - the thread doesn't go into complete details but it sounds horrific :(

I've managed so far today. But I had to go to the dentist for a filling this afternoon and now I can hardly open my jaw. So that has really helped with the diet.
I do feel like packing it all in and being fat forever. My compromise to myself is to try to stick with it until Easter Saturday and then try 5:2 again for week DH is off. Then I will do it again for a week or until I use all the products up.

That is a good plan for a babysitter Beyond, at least you will all know the person. I haven't been out for ages.
How has the rest of your fast day gone?

I'm insanely jealous of your bagel and crisps Sol.

I am obsessed with the Graham Dwyer / Elaine O' Hara murder trial. I am originally from that area and I just find the whole thing so gruesome and sad. I hope to God EOH gets justice. I don't want to comment on guilt etc. because I think GD is the type of man to instruct lawyers to sue everyone who had an opinion on his guilt/innocence before the verdict is delivered, but I hope justice is served. My heart aches for Elaine O' Hara and her poor family.

How's your mouth Green? Don't lose motivation. Do you think you could be genuinely happy at the weight you are now? If so, pack in the Exante and get on with everything. If not, I will be right here for you as we all struggle on. No it's not fun, yes it's a bit shit but soon we will feel happy when we look in the mirror instead of it getting us down.

Beyond I have taken your wise advice and had more cals in the form of a glass of wine. I am being a conscientious dieter (Sol science!). A tenner an hour is the going rate for a babysitter here, just make sure to have a decent selection of snacks too. It can be so boring if the kids are asleep and having something to eat when watching telly was always good.

Don't give up Green. Remember how delighted you were with the big losses before - you can do that again. Its fine to have time off dieting though, you need to do it when it feels right - and I should know I have been in this thread for over 3 years! So be kind to yourself, have days off when you need it but try and do a few days when you can, it will make a difference. Get through tomorrow anyway you can then you'll be day 4. Maybe have a day off next week. I am a big believed in having a splurge and fooling the metabolism!

More Sol science :) Honestly Sol, you should set up a diet website ..!
I'll make sure we have lovely snacks to lure the babysitter back.

My mouth is hurting . Serves me right for my poor oral hygiene. Has anyone else's mouths fell to bits after having children? I had no fillings before having DD1, but have 3 now. I wonder if it's because I don't chew gum anymore? Or because I drink less alcohol and that was killing all the bad bacteria in my mouth . I'll take another painkiller soon.

I will probably never be happy with myself in all honesty. I need to work on my confidence and self esteem. I always felt better when I was thinner though. I have promised myself I will get down to 12stone this year. I know it's not thin but I didn't look too bad at that weight and I feel it's achievable. I think I was just having a sad Exante day. Let's face it if I don't try it's not going to happen is it?

I think you've done the right thing following Beyonds advice Sol. Enjoy the wine.

I think I'll become a babysitter. £10 an hour plus snacks, that's my sort of job!

Thanks Beyond, you're right I'll feel better by Thursday. I will weigh myself on Friday and hopefully see some progress. I just think about food so much when I start a diet and Exante is bad because you can't have anything! It's daft because I obsess over things I don't normally eat anyway.

Exante is really hard. I think about food all the time too. Try and stick to it and you'll have a great loss. Keep going Green. After tomorrow you will feel better.

Sol - I don't think I could follow the case. Since having DC I can't handle anything at all upsetting. I have turn things off on tv or stop reading the newspaper if there are any children involved.

But so sad, that poor woman. Very sad how many vulnerable people there are.

Yeah, maybe we should all become Beyonds babysitter, we'd be shoving her out the door every Friday and Saturday night. Bit of a commute for me though...

12 stone is a good goal Green. Goals need to be achievable otherwise it is so demoralising. My teeth are fucked from having kids (there is no other word to describe how bad they are), they are super sensitive and eroded from having puking 10 times per day for 9 months. My dentist said I have very weak teeth and the blame lays squarely at the feet of my pregnancies as my teeth were perfect before.

Working on self esteem sounds good too. I'm sure there are a wealth of people on Mumsnet who can point you in the direction of some good books or courses. Maybe have a look on the body and soul threads for help.

I think I should launch a diet website Beyond. It'll be called "Sol Science: The Oooh Do You Think I Can Have Wine Now? Diet". Subscriptions will be expensive, advice will be non-sensical but the meet up parties will be epic.

It's a very sad case. It's struck such a chord with me for some reason and I follow the days court news on Twitter. Ireland has such a seedy underside and the amount of people that judge Elaine O'Hara because of her sex life is infuriating, she was a very mentally unwell woman who was manipulated and murdered by someone who knew she was unstable.

It makes my blood boil.