BigMoFos Week 23

[WigWamBam]

Nice shiny new thread ...

as I wasn;t around during the infamous elastic present episode, can I just ask one question before leaving it be... what exactly did she say to you when she gave it to you? I just can;t imagine any sentence that would make sense when giving someone a roll of elastic for a xmas present.

She looked very pleased with herself and said "It's very hard to get hold of these days, you know".

The look on my face was a picture, and was mirrored by my mother and my sister who were there as well, but she was completely oblivious.

Last year I got half a loofah ... I'm expecting the other half this year.

that'll be nice then, you could string the two halves of loofah together with the elastic and make a.... umm... loofah on a rope?

have you explained to her that Aston martins are also very hard to get hold of these days? Only 2000 made a year, will take her ages to find one for you so she'd better get started now.

I had other ideas for the loofah but they all involved shoving them somewhere the sun don't shine ...

... I must stop having such uncharitable thoughts about my MIL.

Oh - an Aston Martin would be a good idea. She'd probably think it was a bird though and get me a budgie.

Hello all. dottydot, that must be worrying, I think you can, and should, excuse yourself anything today. Wwb, sorry mad mil is being a pita. Suejonez, you need a doll of annoying man too

I really like this thread. WWB, that better person thing is mentioned by Ruth Watson in her diet cook book Fat Girl Slim, which is a fab cook book. She says she really doesn't like the implications of moral superiority/inferiority that come with being slim or fat and I agree. But I think it's out there and I definitely find I'm treated differently depending on whether I'm the acceptable side of curvy or plain fat. Rubbish innit?

I sometimes think for me it's nothing to do with self esteem/isshoos/metabolism for me and everythign to do with greed: I love food, I really do. And I love cooking and I read cook books for fun and I just thoroughly enjoy eating. And when I was thin (8st 12 when I got pregnant with ds) it was pre children and I was absolutely incapable of cooking anything at all and survived on fags, white wine spritzers, going out a lot and working hard. So because I didn't care about food I didn't eat too much. And then I got pregnant with ds, gave up smoking, learned to cook, found I liked cooking and food and ballooned.

And then I lost most of it, settled into being a curvy but still fine (I really don't mind pics of me from then for example) thirtysomething until 6 yrs later when I got pregnant with dd and stopped smoking again. And I haven't ever really lost the pregnancy weight. Although I just typed that adn then thought, no, that's not true, my dad died and that's when I started putting on weight. So 2001. Hmm, so hey, I'm not just greedy, it's maybe that too. I have wondered a few times about what's at the bottom of it and even worried that losing weight will mean I have to deal with 'it' whatever 'it' is. But I suppose it won't force anything out, it will just, I think, make me happier and healthier. I am extremely happy with a lot of my life atm, but not about how I look, it's the one major, major thing I hate.

Thanks for listening. Bloody hell, that felt like a share at an AA meeting (not an alcoholic btw, but have been to meetings with friends!)

Will press post before I wonder whether to preview and change this. Eeek.

AHA! Not just greed then - gotcha!

I'm not trying to work through any isses - I'm doing it for my health and to a lesser degree how I look but I have come to accept that I won;t lose weight until I have a better understanding of why I put it on.

Of course we all like food - if we didn't, I suspect that we would react to our "ishoos" by becoming anorexic, or alcoholic or compulsively spending etc its because we like food that we tend to gravitate towards it as a drug of choice.

I too am pretty happy with my lot in life, whatever demons I'm battling at the moment. Things could be a lot worse. And I also don;t think that losing weight will change my life in any way except that I will be thinner!

Oh yes ... I definitely love food - the taste and texture side of it as well as the emotional side. And I'm nodding at sue as well ... if we didn't like food we'd turn to alcohol or drugs instead - which I guess is what my sister did. Her issues are the same as mine, but the addiction that they led to is alcohol for her rather than food.

WWW, the implications of moral superiority/inferiority that come with being slim or fat are definitely out there, it's one of my real bugbears that I'm judged by what I weigh rather than the things I do and say. It's part of the same logical thought process that leads people to say that weight loss is as easy as eating less and moving more - they just can't comprehend that someone intelligent would allow themselves to become fat. They seem to think that we're fat because we're too stupid to have worked out what causes it!

I was really hurt once by my then Bandmaster's wife, who looked at me with incredulity after sitting in conversation with me and said "You look fat and stupid but you're not, are you!". She was genuinely amazed that I was capable of speaking in words of more than one syllable.

I think that the fact I love food is what makes it so easy to believe that I must just be too greedy and too lazy to lose the weight. It sort of masks the other things.

I guess, for me at any rate, its easier to think of myself as greedy and lazy than to try and work out why I can't seem to reach a 'healthy' approach to food. It's either count every calorie or stuff down everything in sight

Of course the fact that I lived on steriods as a child so was able to actually stuff down everything in sight without getting any fatter (or for a period of a year, any taller) doesn't help!

at bandmasters wife!thought i'd had a good one when a lad once tried really hard to pull me in a club, then thought he had the clincher with i don't reaaly go for big girls but your very pretty for a fat girl...! oddly enough we didn't become a lovely couple.will try to read old threads for mofos as joined this one because i know the real issue for me is why i sometimes seem to eat to punish/selfsabotage etc.
has anyone had experience of being what they thought was the size they wanted but feeling somehow wrong? always thought fat is feminist issue book made a lot of sense about this...

I have never had the experience of being the size I wanted - not during my adult life anyway. I've lost weight on more occasions than I care to think about but have never, ever reached an "acceptable" weight.

I have wondered about it, I know I sabotage my diets sometimes and I do wonder whether subconsciously I'm afraid of losing it all - I've never been there so don't know how to handle being slim.

I really agree with the horrible fat = stupid comments - it's something I worry about and if I'm honest, one of the reasons I decided to start losing weight was because my job was in doubt (as was everyone's in our organisation) and I was worried about interviews and how people might perceive me - the fat stupid one... But then does that mean I agree with it - because I'm worrying about it? I don't think it does but I'm certainly conspiring with society trying to make me a more acceptable size.

Having said that, it's starting to grate on me that people are commenting and saying how much better I look - the rebel in me wants to put it all back on just to spite them!

Ahem...

SueJ - John Lewis is really fab for wool. I have to say that I don't tend to knit in acrylic, even for babies. Real wool just feels so lovely when you are knitting with it. There are lots around now that are machine washable, on a wool wash.

John Lewis has a large selection of all types of wool, from acrylic to cashmere. Try there!

WWB - I agree completely about trying to sabotage my own weight loss - I hate thinking I'm going to achieve what I want to, so rather than see myself fail, I stop/do the opposite - then I prove myself right! have done this in all sorts of things - dropping out in the last few months at music college, failed relationships - all sorts of stuff...

Also agree John Lewis is a mecca for wool - could spend a HUGE amount of money in the haberdashery dept..!

hey all you knitters and crafty types, could someone pop round and sew a button on here for a complete handicraft idiot- I once bought a tiny cross stitch with the idea that I'd learn and completly bogged it up, my little sister then unpicked it and finished it all, within the hour!
I'm on here to cool off from family life, I've just made breakfast which was to be our first proper meal as a family for ages, but dh got cross with ds for asking stupid questions, i told him to cool down so he stormed off, great!
I am in the doghouse anyway, the prescription I forgot to collect yesterday turns out to be for diabetes, he had a blood test a week or so back without telling me and is very mildly diabetic. Naturally, we both feel awful about this because he is only 30. It does go some way to explaining why he is always so tired and bad tempered, I thought it was because I made him unhappy, so in that way I am relieved to find out there is a medical reason. It does mean we have to change our eating habits urgently because the effects of diabetes can be horrible and at this stage it is reversible through good diet. I don't want to see him forced to retire at 50 through ill health like his dad has had to. I'm off to research eating to control diabetes.

Justamindlesszombiemum - a colleague of mine's husband was diagnosed with diabetes around Christmas time last year, and they've made big (but, she says, easy) changes in the way they eat - he's lost 3 and a half stone, without much effort on his part. She's on steroids, so hasn't really lost anything, but is happy that they're eating more healthily. She said that one of the keys is to make sure that you include strong flavours, because then you're more likely to feel that you've had something luxurious/filling than if you have something bland and boring. So lots of chilli, herbs, mustard etc, to spice things up. I think it works for dieting too - the things that give flavour are often not very calorific, but make a huge difference to the way you perceive your food. Good luck with the diabetes - maybe it will help you too, as you'll both be more aware of what you're eating.

justamindlesszombiemum - my mum and my brother are both diabetic. The Diabetes association give out great leaflets about eating and exercise. Controlling his diabetes is definitely the way to go if you can - he will need to gradually increase his metformin over time and if he starts on it this young, he may well end up on insulin in 20/30 years time which is to be avoided if at all possible.

Basically the low GI diet is excellent for diabetics and in fact was originally developed for diabetic (I think in Australia some years ago). It's the usual healthy diet stuff - low fat, good carbs, keep the bad carbs on the low side and only with other food. No sugary drinks - hate to say it, but definitely one case where sweeteners win over sugar if he can't stick to water. Things like cake/choclate in small quantities at the end of a meal not on their own as a snack. Cut out/down beer/lager and switch to spirits and the occasional glass of wine.

Good luck

Hello, can I join this club please?

I am huge and wish to lose 5 stone over the next year....

I need motivation (and the occasional boot up the backside...)

How does it work? When do you weigh and report your weight?

Are you all aiming for big targets?

Any help gratefully received, TIA

Is everyone having busy weekends- its been very quiet on here. Thanks for the advice on diabetes. DH has a drs appt in the week and I'm sure the doc will point him in right direction. Sue, I'm so sorry there has been further delays, you must be going out of your mind, I really hop everything gets sorted as quickly as possible for you- just give the word and I will start issuing gypsy curses on the man from the ministry. (I have a bit of wild romany gypsy in my heritage)
Hi peegeeweegeewitch-i apologise if i have too many peegees in your name, I got a bit carried away, we are very popular on here, its because we are all so lovely and supportive.

Hi Peegeeweegee.

Generally we just weigh ourselves on a Wednesday and either post our results on here or e-mail them to WWB. You don't have to tell anyone your actual weight and you can follow whatever method you like for losing weight. if you prefer you can just follow the threads without posting losses/gains at all and just take whatever helps from these threads.

Welcome!

Hello peegeeweegee,

I only joined this week and everyone has been really nice! Very supportive, so I am sure you will find it the same.

I have had a really busy weekend so have not really been on the computer. However I would like to report the nicest thing anyone has said to me in relation to my weight / size / shape though. My d, d, d, dp brought me shopping for a treat - said I could get anything I liked and I wasn't to look at the price tag, etc, and he nobly trailed around the shops with me for hours looking at gear. Thinking that tailoring is a good way of defining shape, I tried on beautiful coat after beautiful coat and none of the bloody things would do up over the boobs. In Harvey Nicks basically none of the sizes were over a 12 and most were 6 and 8. (Now that's an argument for another day, about why shops don't stock proper sizes.) But size 16 coats didn't do up either! And he said it's not you that's the wrong shape, it's the clothes, and I have hardly been able to stop kissing him since!!!

Hi peegeeweegee!

I think all of us here have/had at least three stone to lose, and most of us five or more. I had five to lose when I started, but I've shed just over a stone of that now (whee!).

Generally many of us are aiming for smaller interim targets too, depending on ourselves and what motivates us. For example, I want to have lost that second stone for Christmas while suejonez wants to maintain a steady 2lb a month loss (which many doctors advise is actually better than 1-2lb a week as it's more likely to stay off) for as long as it takes.

BigMoFos Creed

The BigMoFos are about attitude as much as anything: some of us were cheesed off with 7 stone people posting about being bloaters, and whingeing because they needed to lose 4lb and how hard it was. We just wanted a place where people understood how large people feel, and where we could feel supported in a way that those 7 stone people couldn't manage to support us.

We do a weigh-in on a Wednesday, but not all of us weigh in. Some just follow the thread for support, whichever you would feel more comfortable doing. It's all pretty free and easy but it seems to work. Email is [email protected] if you want to join the weigh-in, otherwise just hop along for the ride.

Our rules:

No beating yourself up (we will do that for you if necessary)
Each week is a new week and you leave last week?s problems behind
No pedantic grammar corrections (unless what you typed really doesn?t make sense) we are quite smart and will work out what you mean.

re: WWB and bandmaster convo - did you then say, in words of only one syllable, 'f*ck 0ff' ? LOL

Well done on your stone lemonaid.

Suspicious by my silence... I lost 4.5 lbs one week, put on1 the next, and lost half a pound last week. Those large drops are no use at all, eh...