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Weight loss chat

A space to talk openly about weight loss journeys and challenges. Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. You may wish to speak to a medical professional before starting any diet.

BigMoFos Week 23

168 replies

WigWamBam · 12/10/2006 10:47

Nice shiny new thread ...

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WigWamBam · 12/10/2006 23:38

Wise ... oh, if only you knew

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NumberNineteen · 12/10/2006 23:39

Interesting story, Whoops. Good for the morale to have them plead with you to stay! You must be vv good at your job and they must be eating out of your hand now. Well done.

suejoneziscalmernow · 12/10/2006 23:59

Can i ask a (probably tactless) question but I'm interested if the "older" members of BigMoFo's have observed this too.

Have you noticed that the newer members are much more self-deprecating than we older ones are? Do you think its because we have talked so much about self esteem issues and how important it is to address that at the same time, or have we got out of the habit of doing it because we shout at each other if we slag ourselves off .

It just struck me that the longer serving of us seem to talk much more about how we feel and much less about food than we used to. Is this a kind of progress or just the group evolving as we know each other better?

Any thoughts?

JackieNoHeadJustABloodyStump · 13/10/2006 07:19

I think you're right sue - those of us that have been here for longer have talked a lot (or just read a lot of what other people have said) about how at least half the battle to losing weight is in the mindset, and that we have to change the way we think about foods, so we're less likely to talk about being 'wicked' or whatever, because we are starting to realise that a) the other MoFos will jump on us, and b)it's not helpful to us (works differently for everyone, I guess, but that's how I see it). It could also be that we do just know each other better, having talked for so long, so what is important for us to talk about has changed.

So the moral is - if you join the BigMoFos, jump right in and talk to us loads and loads, I guess. Have to say, it doesn't take long to get to feel people are 'regulars'.

TitianRed · 13/10/2006 07:29

I'm having a break from the diet until Monday as I have a stinking cold and just want to eat hot buttered toast and stodge. Not going mad, just following what my body is asking for. Have a good weekend one and all! PS The reason I am on so early is that I gave my DD Medised last night for her stinking cold and she is still asleep! Great stuff! XX

WigWamBam · 13/10/2006 11:10

Sue, I think it may be partly because when we first started chatting on the initial thread it was obvious that our needs were different from those of the posters on some of the other diet threads. We accepted right from the start that we were coming from a different place, where self-esteem and background was an issue, and we accepted that our mindsets were what needed changing in a way that some dieters don't find. I think maybe it was that which appealed to some of the longer-standing members of the MoFos far more than just joining one of the other established dieting threads. It probably takes a little while to get used to that idea if you're used to a more standard, "eat less, move more" approach to weight-loss.

Plus as you say, because we already recognised that our needs aren't the same as, say, the Lardy Ladies or cod's bloater threads, it may have been easier for us to open up about some of our issues, and try to work through them.

My self-esteem is very, very low but on these threads I feel as if I matter just as much as anyone else, and that's a big thing for me. It's probably because we've chatted lots about the issues we have and we feel confident that no-one's going to mock us or take the piss if we open up and talk about what's behind it all - because most of us are in the same boat.

I think that it can be hard to break the habit of seeing some foods as bad and therefore seeing ourselves as bad for eating them - and I think that a lot of the established slimming clubs are at fault for perpetuating the myth that there are good foods and bad foods.

I do think it's extraordinarily sad when people say that they would be a "better person" if they were losing more weight/not eating "bad" food/not bingeing. Maybe it takes a bit of practice before we can separate the act from the person and realise that being fat or not controlling our food doesn't equate with being a bad person.

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Dottydot · 13/10/2006 11:30

Hi - I feel a bit kind of half and half - bit like a newbie and a bit like a old timer! Yes, I've noticed the difference with postings on this thread - and that's probably why I feel a bit newbie-ish, because I'm aware my postings are often about food. I feel lucky in that my self esteem isn't low, I'm incredibly lucky to be very happy with pretty much all areas of my life. Having said that, I've always struggled with food and feel it's like an addiction - I'll always be a foodaholic no matter what size I end up being. So I find this thread incredibly helpful - even just to post witterings like this!

NumberNineteen · 13/10/2006 12:01

Apologies for not posting in the appropriate fashion for this thread.

littlemisssensible · 13/10/2006 12:04

I think you may be right wwb. I've been dieting with varying degrees of success for a looooooong time. Probably almost 20 years! i can, and have,lost the weight (or most of it) but it ALWAYS creeps back on and I'm now beginning to realise that thats because I have issues with food that I havn't ever dealt with.

So... I've come to MoFos with the feeling that maybe here I'll find a different kind of help that I havn't found elsewhere and that it will help me begin to sort out my problems (problem being that I'm not sure what they are!!!!)

But.... I'm still thinking in the 'eat less, exercise more' mindset, because thats what I'm used to, so I'm still tending to obsess about food and exercise!

I guess that with time I'll begin to focus on why I feel how I do about food and maybe to recognise and deal with the ishoos!!!
.

Blimey, hope all that makes sense!

JackieNoHeadJustABloodyStump · 13/10/2006 12:05

Nooo - don't say that NumberNineteen - everything's appropriate if it helps - it's just that we've also talked about some of the wider issues, not just the 'how many calories I've had today', (which we do also do), which seems to be what some of the other threads do more of. (I may be being unfair to 'other threads' here too, as I haven't really investigated them).

Dottydot · 13/10/2006 12:06

NumberNineteen - don't be ruffled - I've really enjoyed your postings. It's good we can talk about the different things that have brought us to this thread and the common theme is that we're all trying to address the fact that we find managing food tricky - in different ways.

Dottydot · 13/10/2006 12:07

NumberNineteen - if it helps, I'll always be on here talking about calories, food intake and weight watchers!!

lemonaid · 13/10/2006 12:14

The only thing you've done that's in any way 'inappropriate', Nineteen, is in suggesting that you're not a good person. And that's not inappropriate to this thread, it's inappropriate to you because you're not a bad person (unless there's a stack of bodies under your patio that you've not mentioned). You deserve more credit than that.

I think (with my mind-reader hat on) that sue's question wasn't intended to be a "look at all the new mwmbers being self-deprecating" comment so much as an "it's interesting that the older members have started to stop being self-deprecating" comment. Go back to BigMoFos week 1 and I bet you'll find plenty of self-deprecation from the older members, gradually moving on to "in the past I would have said...", and then to just not saying it at all. I've only been here a couple of months and I know I still fall into old thought patterns of thinking of things as "bad".

Dottydot · 13/10/2006 12:19

Talking of WW - I've lost 2.5lbs this week!! Outrageously proud to get my third silver seven (22lb weight loss so far) and I'm realising that it's things like that which make the difference for me - so hey, I must have self esteem issues if I get really excited about receiving a silver seven sticker in a meeting! . Only another 0.5lb and I'll have lost 10% of my body weight - and I get a keyring!!!!

JackieNoHeadJustABloodyStump · 13/10/2006 12:22

Good post, lemonaid. Agree - that was how I took sue's post - definitely not a dig at anyone. We're here to be supportive of each other.

Well done Dottydot - that's brilliant.

littlemisssensible · 13/10/2006 12:31

Well done lemonaid!

It's weird how something like a sticker can make all the difference isn't it!

I've never done WW mainly because my mum always did (and still does), and I'm too stubborn to give in to her insistance that I need to go along for all sorts of complicated reasons that even I don't really understand!

But I used to keep a graph in my top drawer at work and I'd plot my weight loss every week and stick stars etc to it whenever I got below a half or full stone.

Trouble is, it doesn't seem to help now because I just don't seem to shift the weight any more!

justamindlesszombiemum · 13/10/2006 12:33

number nineteen, i think what you posted was particularly appropriate to this thread where as wwb says, so much of our eating habits are bound up with self esteem issues. I am not currently trying to lose weight so my most recent postings have concerned feelings more than eating patterns. I am trying to break the chicken and egg pattern of feeling depressed then eating then feeling depressed because of eating and feeling worse that has dogged me my entire life and accepting that before I can successfully lose weight I have to tackle other issues in my life.
this thread has become more than just a diet club, its like an exploration of why we eat how we do and how to lose weight in a sensible and constructive way. Some of the people on here have been at this for nearly 6 months and have had good and patches but are still plugging away at it and weighing less than they did when it started- which says a lot for the support being offered here. I don't know about others but I have rarely managed to sustain any "diet" for as long as 6 months in the past.

TitianRed · 13/10/2006 12:58

Well done, Dotty Dot! x

NumberNineteen · 13/10/2006 13:09

Sorry - I really didn't mean to sound huffy and oh well if you don't want my posts then I'll take them elsewhere, it was a real "whoops". I genuinely felt coming on here yesterday / the day before whenever it was that I was landing into a world of whose etiquette I knew nothing and that I was bound to make some gaffe.

I do see what you are saying in relation to the self-deprecating comments and I applaud you all for what you have achieved both in the weight loss battle and in the psychological we seem to have against ourselves.

lemonaid I do like your name, does it relate to a certain eye cosmetic I am addicted to?

NumberNineteen · 13/10/2006 13:11

DottyDot that is excellent, I had a sudden flashback to doing WW some years ago and I remember getting a silver seven. I'd forgotten about it till this moment. Our leader had little pebbles she gave out when you lost a stone, which I thought was a lovely idea.

Well done indeed! Magic number.

JackieNoHeadJustABloodyStump · 13/10/2006 13:11

So you'll stay, please, won't you NumberNineteen. I'm loving your posts, so please stick with us, even if you decide you don't want to post weight losses .

NumberNineteen · 13/10/2006 13:12

zombie - thank you.

NumberNineteen · 13/10/2006 13:13

Yes I am staying if you'll keep me!

JackieNoHeadJustABloodyStump · 13/10/2006 13:28

Absolutely (ma'am)!

WigWamBam · 13/10/2006 13:42

Nineteen, you haven't made a gaffe at all. I've really enjoyed chatting with you and actually I think you fit in here really well. There's nothing you can say here that's inappropriate, everything you said is perfectly relevant to your situation. Except for the being a better person comment; you deserve to think better of yourself than that.

We make these deep observations sometimes ... you'll get used to us!

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