Got this from a pal, and thought it was worth sharing with the Mumsnet Posse:
This is a specially formulated diet designed to help women cope with stress that builds during the day.
BREAKFAST
1 grapefruit
1 slice whole-wheat toast
1 cup skim milk
LUNCH
1 small portion lean, steamed chicken with a cup of spinach
1 cup herbal tea
1 Chocolate Button
AFTERNOON SNACK
The rest of the Chocolate Buttons in the packet
1 tub of Hagen-Daaz ice cream with chocolate sauce topping
SUPPER
4 glasses of wine (red or white)
2 loaves garlic bread
1 family size Supreme pizza
3 Cadbury bars
LATE NIGHT SNACK
1 whole Marks & Spencer lemon tart (eat directly from the fridge)
Rules for this Diet:
- If you eat something and no one sees you, it has no calories.
- If you drink a diet drink with a chocolate bar, the calories in the candy are cancelled out by the diet drink.
- When you eat with someone else, calories don't count if you can eat more than they do.
- Foods used for medicinal purposes NEVER count, such as hot chocolate, brandy, toast and cheesecake.
- If you fatten up everyone else around you, you look thinner.
- Cookie pieces have no calories. The process of breaking causes calorie leakage.
- Things licked off knives and spoons have no calories if you are in the process of preparing something. Example: peanut butter on a knife
while making a sandwich, and ice cream on a spoon while making a milkshake.
- Foods that have the same color have the same number of calories examples are spinach and pistachio ice cream, mushrooms and white
chocolate. Chocolate is a universal color and may be substituted for any other color.
REMEMBER:
"Stressed" spelled backward is "desserts"
Send this to four women and you will lose two pounds. Send this to all the women you know (or ever knew), and you will lose 10 pounds. If you delete this message, you will gain 10 pounds immediately.