BigMoFos Week 21

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Can't decide how I feel at the moment, I'm just slowly working my way around to getting back to normal, really hoping that by the end of the week I'll be back to losing (what ever the scales say last week, I'm not really in control yet).

Every time I lose control in a big way and manage to getback to losing, it does encourage me to think that I might be able to conquer this long term.

Well done everyone, whoopsfallenoveragain, Lemonaid and dottydot. Here's to another good week.

Some people at work have started a 'healthy living' club, and I went along a couple of days ago. Although the idea was just to generally pool ideas for healthy living, and not necessarily to weigh, I did feel a bit put off by a couple of the ladies there, who are doing weight watchers, and are obsessively counting every point. (apologies to anyone who's doing WW - it's just not the way I'm trying to work at the moment). I'm not sure I'll go back - I'm working hard at trying to be relaxed about food, iyswim. I'm not sure that people saying that they had 'far too much fruit' and was it full of sugar is going to help me. Not sure. I've learned so much about myself and the way I think from you lot, that the work group now seems kind of superficial. Not sure if that makes sense.

Jackie, I'm with you on the way people doing WW obsess slavishly over points, and how they take a sharp intake of breath when I tell them how much fruit I eat! Their obsession with diet fizzy drinks and special WW food gets up my nose.

Slimming World is even worse ... my sister lost around 4 stone doing that, but eventually she just lost the plot, went back to eating "normally", and it's all piled back on with reinforcements. She was obsessed with "I can have that", "I can't have that", free foods ... it's not for me.

I had a look at a thread yesterday where people were doing a food diary of what they were eating on SW and was horrified. The obsession with "free foods" and beating themselves up over their "syns" is frightening.

I'm finding these threads far more supportive than any corporate weight loss programme could ever be. It's (slowly) changing the way I think about food, and I really do think that it's eventually it's going to make a huge difference to my attitude to food - which, of course, WW doesn't do.

Plus the old cynic in me thinks that actually, WW and SW and all these other weight-loss companies don't make their money because their diets work; they make their money because in the long term they don't work - they rely on people failing, and then going back time after time, because they remember that they lost weight on that plan initially.

Yes - absolutely with you on the fact that they don't necessarily work (although I think the WW is possibly better than others for at least giving you a bit of a better idea of what sort of size helpings of things you should be eating). The ones with shakes really horrify me. And the whole 'syns' thing - we're trying to make our peace with food here, and not to view it as the enemy - and seeing certain things as 'sinful' is not healthy, imo. Yes, we need to understand that some things are to be eaten in smaller quantities than others, but we're all about not beating ourselves up for eating 'bad' things. And I like that about us.

I am doing WW, but I don't obsessively count, life is too bloody short. Also those ww products all taste like cardboard.

I know it works for some people Tawny - it just doesn't suit me at the moment. But I may nick some recipes from my colleagues, as long as they're not involving strange chemical sweeteners.

WW isn't for people for whom food/eating is a problem. Yet they set themselves up as if they are, and most people think that they are. When I was doing it many moons ago they used to give you a little file to collect cards and things in (dh called it my Filofat ), and one of those cards was telling you how not to binge. And their wisdom on that? If you feel a binge coming on, you have to control yourself and not give in to it. Well durr ... if we could do that we wouldn't need WW!

I'm sure it works well for those who suit their regimes. But for me, until I get my head around my food issues, they can't work. Eventually something has to give.

Plus I hate the fact that (particularly with SW) the food is all so artificial. My friend's been with them for years, and her idea of a "treat" is to mix natural yogurt with a packet of Chocolate Options - and she's so into that mindset that she'll even do that if she's having a dinner party and everyone else is eating profiteroles. And she drinks "diet" drinks as if they're going out of fashion rather than water because she's "on a diet". Plus she'll make up Bachelors Super Noodles, bake it in the oven, and pick at it all day because it's "free". It's also vile and stuffed with all kinds of additives, but that doesn't matter to her as much as sticking with the diet. Which she's been on for 10 years without losing any weight at all.

I suspect all those sweeteners just confuse your body, so it has even less idea whether it's full or not. Having said that, I do like Diet Coke, but don't really do any other sort of diet drinks.

WW also worked for me at the time - lost about 4 stone on it. But I was an obsessive point counter. I was fine whilst I was counting all my points and writing it down but once I'd stopped I didn't really have a framework to live by and put it all back on. I also felt that my (and most peoples) tendancy to give up if you'd put a bit of weight on was what eventually did for me. The emphasis was so much on losing weight that if you weren't you felt ashamed to be there.

Having said that, I did find the WW diet quite healthy and I still follow the basics of it now. "Too much fruit" is just mad though - think thats the people not the diet! It's like those people who think carbohydrates are poison - I lose weight best when I eat high carbs low fat - so "Yah boo sucks" to Atkins, I say!

I haven't lost weight anything like as fast this time, not counting points (or even counting anything) but I am quite encouraged that I have kept talking and sharing even when I have felt very very out of control. As I said earlier I does give me hope that I can learn to co-exist with my food issues in a healthier way.

They probably do confuse your body. Plus they don't stop the craving for sweet things ... replacing one sweet thing with another sweet thing doesn't change your eating habits.

I'm hoping that eventually I will come to the stage where if I want something sweet I will have it - but not crave it, and not eat the entire packet once I start. I don't think that artificial replacements help with that at all - not for me, anyway.

Must confess to a liking for Diet Coke too but do limit myself and try to make sure I drink plenty of water too. I never really bought many ready make diet meals - though mostly because they were too small . I fill up instead on pasta and potatoes and freshly cooked chicken, meat and veg.

My problem is "if I eat this pie I will feel better" phases which are fewer than they used to be but raise their ugly head none the less form time to time.

The fruit thing ... I know it's a long while ago but my WW leader (who, yes, was as mad as a snake) told me that I had to cut down on fruit, and I was only allowed two pieces a day because of the sugar. I was also told to cut down on fruit by a dietician I was once sent to ... who gave me a diet plan to follow which worked out at around 600 calories a day. For someone of my size, that's crazy.

600 calories is crazy for anybody, surely, WWB? And sue - I'm trying to fill up on veg more - just altering the balance of things on the plate, and serving up more veg in general, and more variety, if possible. Luckily the DCs like most veg, which helps.

I do feel that the mindless or 'bad' eating is getting better. Otoh, I also feel a bit more relaxed about eating something highly calorific, as I'm now, like you sue, starting to believe that it won't be the end of everything, and I will be able to get back to 'normal' afterwards. Old habits die hard, though. I did the weekly food shop on a Monday afternoon a couple of weeks ago, and on my own, when we usually all go together at the weekend. And because I was on my own, I did what I used to do - bought a big bar of chocolate, because I'd be able to eat it in the car afterwards with nobody else around. Then I forgot about it, and so when DH unpacked the shopping, he found it. He was a bit shocked, I think. Unfortunately it sat in the cupboard for a week or so, but one evening he was so tired he went to bed early, so I ate the lot. I think that was the beginning of this week. So I'm not over it yet, but I am starting to realise that if I do it occasionally, I may not lose weight that week, but I might well stay the same. Sorry - this is a bit long now, isn't it.

I completely understand about the buying things to eat in the car on the way home from the supermarket JackieNo. The car is my worst place for eating in secret. But at least you lot know now, so that means it's not secret any more. I will know that I'm being watched (virtually, of course). I eat really odd things in the car - things I've just had a craving for when going round the supermarket. They are always things I would never eat at home - pepperoni, snack eggs, samosas. I think it's so I can keep telling myself that we eat really healthily at home. The secret eating stuff obviously isn't real, and obviously won't make me put any weight on . God it's sad how my mind works.

Oh, last time I went to WW (about a year ago) I had a row with the class leader because she was busy pushing all the vile diet foods full of aspartame and other additives. I told her that if WW was about promoting healthy eating, then they shouldn't be encouraging people to eat food with so many additives and preservatives in as they would never re-educate themselves.

She told me that I would have to eat really small portions if "I wasn't prepared to eat low fat products to help myself".

Funnily enough, I didn't go back the next week.

I know I eat too much, but apart from the secret car food, all our food is organic, home cooked and generally healthy. There has to be a way of eating the sort of things we already eat, and still lose weight.

Of course there is, I hear you all cry..... eat less of it.

Sorry all - general ramblings today.

Littlefish - the car, if on my own, and the other danger time for me is when I'm at home in the evening and everyone else is in bed.

There's a weird mindset I get into sometimes, when my rational brain knows that I don't want to buy that enormous bar of chocolate (or whatever) and there's a part of me that really really wants it, and it's almost like being in suspended animation for a moment, with the 2 bits pulling in different directions, and then I suddenly just 'come to' and grab the snack, almost with relief. Am becoming more aware of it, and telling myself that I'm in control, and that I don't want it, does sometimes (though by no means always) work.

But low fat doesn't have to mean unhealthy rap - chicken is low fat as are fruit and veg as is pasta etc! I was lucky that I didn;t have a leader who pushed the products much.

Secret eating in the car used to be my downfall too Littlefish - I wouldn't stop to get petrol without buying something to eat, I get the tube to work now so that's slightly easier.

If your diet is healthy then the way to loe weight will be two fold I guess - trying to eat lower calorie secret food and increasing your exercise a little (or both). A tiny change in both over a year would easily lose you 1lb a month without you feeling too big a change.

It's really hard to accept that 1-2lb a week is not realistic but in my case I am genuinely coming to the realisation that it isn't at least not if I want to do it without "dieting". You must not think that what you are doing is wrong Littlefish, your basic diet sounds fantastic. However we both need to be brutally honest about our "extras" in my better weeks I've still had my extra treats but I've managed to make them more reasonable in calories eg I swopped a pork pie (550cals) for a scotch egg(275), I traded a cheese and onion pasty (about 750!!! ) for a tube of fruit pastilles (about 220ish). I also discovered KitKat chinky whcih are also about 275 cals so if I'm having a real chocolate craving I have one of those - they feel "naughty" but are half the calories of most other big choclate bars.

Well done everyone!
I have to say though I don't thin I sent my weight in last week so mine is over 2 weeks

I was actually surprised that I lost as I have hardly been to the gym and not thinking about what I have been eating especially this week while I have been at home it is too dangerous as the tea & bisuits come out!

I'm a WW fan and feel the need to defend! With the no count plan you can have as much fruit as you like - I'm getting through 2 - 3 bags of grapes a day, plus melon, and maybe a box of strawberries!! I'm rubbish with counting points, so the no count plan is brilliant - you can have as much rice and pasta etc. as you like, no weighing and no counting.

OK, advert for WW over!! I'm hoping that if I keep going, my eating habits will change - and I think are starting to, although I still find the evenings very hard to get through without gravitating to the kids' sweet drawer...

Sorry Dottydot - didn't mean to put WW down. My first leader (about 19 years ago!) was fabulous, and it really worked for me then.

Sue, by low fat, I meant some of the products which have the fat replaced with something else - e.g. fat free spreads etc.

I think a lot's down to the leader at WW. Ours is great - doesn't bother too much with the WW products, but talks more about cravings, snacking, etc.etc. - more general topics. She's on holiday for 2 weeks so it'll be interesting to see what her replacement is like tonight!

And is it really sad that one of the best things about it for me is that I get to go out for an hour once a week?!

Definitely not sad, dottydot - an hour to concentrate on you and your wellbeing once a week is definitely A Good Thing.

Littlefish - i understood what you meant I was really referring to your leaders comment about if you weren't going to eat low fat then you would have to eat tiny portions. Her idea of low fat is processed low fat stuff whereas there's plenty of healthy low fat.

I agree that how good WW is depends on the leader and I had a good one so I'm not bashing it. What it didn;t do for me even in a teeny weeny way was look at why I eat. I really wish I had discovered BigMoFo's/Mumsnet at the same time I might have been much more sucessful at keeping off all that weight I worked so hard to lose.

Agree sue - it tends to tackle the symptoms, not the cause.

No Dottydot - it's definitely a good thing to spend time on yourself. I am so pleased yours is a good class.

JackieNo is right as far as my eating is concerned however - my problems with eating are so complex, emotional, and deep rooted that WW on its own would never be enough to help me deal with it. Now I'm back in counselling, I may consider going back to WW to help me learn/re-learn all the portion control and meal balancing bits that I'm conveniently ignoring. (as long as it's a different leader!)