Bloody f**king nora. Just weighed myself and I want to die.

[BaublesAndCuntingCarolSingers]

I can't even bring myself to type in my weight because I am so ashamed :(

I need to lose 3.5 stone before the end of May (going on holiday with a thin friend) I am doing My Fitness Pal (calorie counting) and I am going to do 1200 calories a day. It's brutal I know but then so was the reading on my scales this morning.

Effing Nora :(

[BaublesAndCuntingCarolSingers]

Honestly, I do look like a slug (thanks for being nice about my face though, you're luffly)

But I do look like a slug. I have no jawline and my face is collapsing into my neck. Like Jabba the Hut.

That is who I look like! Jabba. The Hut.

[BaublesAndCuntingCarolSingers]

Ooh I love a sweet potato. PEAS ARE CARBS?????? But they're not even fun!

[GetorfsaMotherfuckingMorrisMan]

No swimming is easy compared to that other bollocks they make you do like RUNNING or CYCLING. Even those cross trainer things are exhausting.

Swimming and lifting great big heavy weights like Geoff Capes - that's my exercise plan.

[GetorfsaMotherfuckingMorrisMan]

Peas are like 100% sugar

You are not supposed to eat them on low carby things as they are very starchy, but I used them in place of potato/pasta (as well as cabbage and cauli) - so could make a chilli or spag bol or something and just have some greens alongside.

I really, really like greens though. If you don't then this advice is probably fucking useless.

[BaublesAndCuntingCarolSingers]

I can do swimming for hours and be fine. If I had a swimming pool in my house, I'd be waif-like. I love swimming.

[AnyFucker]

I put on half a stone on the run up to and over xmas/NY

bastard mince pies

it's only a few pounds but my clothes look like shit

[SPBInDisguise]

I will forever imagine you as Geoff Capes - that will be the mental image when I read your posts.

Bupcakes, I'm not just saying this, you look lovely (unless your MFP picture isn't you?).

[SPBInDisguise]

Mince pies do nothing for me. I had the odd one and enjoyed it but no big deal. OTOH I had a Tesco finest yule log to myself in the run up to Christmas

[ThreeBeeOneGee]

I can sympathise. I weighed myself on New Year's Day, only to find that I'd gained a stone since last weigh-in. And previous weight was already on the cusp of obese. I've been using myfitnesspal since the 1st Jan and lost 4lb so far. I like scanning bar codes and the bit where it tells you how much you'll end up weighing if every day were like today is good too.

[BaublesAndCuntingCarolSingers]

I love greens. I love spinach and cabbage and broccoli and all of that. I just don't think that peas can be allowed to be carbs, surely? That's sneaky that is.

[SPBInDisguise]

(the full sized one)
(not the little mini rolls, you don't get the thick fudgey stuff on them)
(which by the way is revolting, don't ever try it)

[SPBInDisguise]

scanning bar codes
say more! Did everyone else know about this but me?

[GetorfsaMotherfuckingMorrisMan]

You do not look like Jabba the Hut. Don't be silly.

BUT I think being completely and utterly pissed off with yoruself is a good motivator - I was so bloody hacked off last year that it made me very determined.

I also found out that houmouss is full of calories. The bloody bastards. CHICKPEAS and it is something like 700 cals a pot (easily demolished in one go AFTER dinner as an 8 oclock snack. NIGHTLY).

Another bit of advice (which is probably against all dietetic advice but still) is to rule out snacking. It made me hungrier to snack. It just revved up my tastebuds. So - I just eat lunch and dinner every day (hate breakfast) and nowt else. It makes it easier (imo, anyway).

[BaublesAndCuntingCarolSingers]

It is me, but me when I was thinner, not like J.T.H.

[merlottits]

I'm also fat. So blimin' fat. I used to be slim. I used to run 10k. Then I had my 3rd baby and it all went tits up and now I'm a blimp.
Sadly I do not carry weight well. I look butch and hard. Strange men used to call me sexy, they now call me.....'Chief'.

[merlottits]

I can't cross my legs without using my hands as TOOLS to assist in the matter. I'm ashamed.

[Climbingpenguin]

I just ate 10 biscuits

not even for a reason, the DCs are ill and sleeping so felt like I deserved them.

[BaublesAndCuntingCarolSingers]

"Strange men used to call me sexy, they now call me.....'Chief'"

Actually LOLing

I feel your pain. I don't carry my weight well either. Not like Nigella or Allsopp.

[TheOneWithTheHair]

Merlottits I'm so sorry but that made me laugh.

My weakness is needing a mouth sweetener after a meal. It used to be chocolate, now it's coffee.

I'm ok at tracking calories and it's the thing that's helped the most. At the end of the day if you eat less calories and move more you will lose weight. The trick is finding the way that works for you v

[merlottits]

Sorry to hijack the thread - I was lost in my own world of fat pain then!

[SPBInDisguise]

erm no I can't believe that a few stone on will turn you into a monstrosity. You'll just look like that, only slightly larger :)
However agree anger and a determination not to be a slave to eating is a good motivator. I've always been a binge eater. It used to be how I was all the time (I ahve a fast metabolism - I do not know how I was only 16s6!). I fairly regularly have a day off, fine. But if I binge on my day off I wake up the next morning feeling bloated and full of shame - a bit like I do when I have too much to drink. It's good.

getOrf, I buy the reduced fat houmus, can't tell difference. Co-ops is nice. Someone on the Motivational Monday thread (was it you Hair?) recommended Ryvita, spread with houmous and then thinly sliced cucumeber and black pepper on top. I ahve the ryvita crispbreads and actually really enjoy it. It's now my default lunch at home.

[GetorfsaMotherfuckingMorrisMan]

Allsopp doesn't carry it well either

I am never buying stollen again. I swear it was never ending. 2 weeks of having stollen everyday. It can't be good.

And all the sausages ffs. what was I thinking? I bought 124 sausage for christmas. For 2!

[SPBInDisguise]

and is about 150 cals for 3

[TheOneWithTheHair]

Wasn't me SPB but it is tasty. [Grin] Think it might have been Kato.

[nilbyname]

I have switched to porridge with half a banana in it for my brekker (rthare than toast and butter and peanut butter!!), keeps me going to lunch, which is half of what i had before. Literally half a sandwich and some fruit. Then dinner is what we usually have but on a small plate. No alcohol, no snacks, no juices. Just water. Walk EVERYWHERE and play footy with DS. Have lost 3lbs since NYday.

I have a fat flabby face. Tis horrid. I feel your pain Buppers.

Also I have a bad leg so I can only walk/hobble ATM. Soon to start zumba and shred in 2 weeks time though. I will be SLIM!!