When shall we three meet again? The not quite NT, not quite weightloss thread ......

[moosemama]

We were full up ladies, so we finally have our very own weightloss-ish thread!

Well that's a relief then - at least she wasn't coming down with some horrible virus just in time for spring break and she will be in school for her appointment.

Well done on another half pound lost. Its all going in the right direction for you and Lamb and the opposite direction for me. Not sure I'm going to weigh in tomorrow either after all my sins today.

Sorry to hear about the car - what a pita, but at least dh was ok and it was only a minor bump. Our camper needs about £1500 spent on it before our summer holiday. I have absolutely no idea how we are going to fund that, but it won't pass its MOT without it.

I'm sitting here watching lowest common denominator tv while I wait for dh to come home. 'Don't Tell the Bride" - its oddly addictive. If he's not back in half an hour I'm giving up and going to bed.

Moose, don't get too down about caving and having a binge. I had a Chinese last night and a whole bottle of wine. Parents' Evening was as we expected but was still bloody depressing and when we got back ds2 was bouncing off the walls and beating his grandad up! We do need to come up with a different release valve I agree, but don't think that you are the only one. It's just a minor glitch in a much bigger picture.

Well done on the 1/2 pound madwoman! Glad your dd is ok. @ her playing squeaky chicken, I have no idea what that is but it sounds fun. Does it involve an actual squeaky chicken?

How old is your ds TLP? Fingers crossed everything remains settled for him .

Lamb - he's just turned 8. Am already panicking about high school , especially without any real DX. The high school he is most likely to go to does seem to have a good rep for SN, and had SALT going in regularly so hopefully that bodes well.

Moose - hope you both got some sleep. Get back on the diet wagon today, we all have our moments, tis a marathon not a sprint after all.

Madwoman - OH NO re:crash. Glad dh is ok. And ain't it typical, calling it wrong and her being absolutely fine. DS used to posset until well into reception year for no apparent reason (v pukey/silent reflux as a baby), so once or twice he was kept off for similar reasons!

Thanks Lamb. Sorry parents' evening was depressing. I know exactly what you mean though, even when you already know the score, its so hard to sit there and be told all your dc's shortcomings, while everyone else is discussing progress and strengths etc. PEs for ds1 and ds2 couldn't be more different - such a contrast between the two it breaks my heart.

I think working out was my release valve while I was forging ahead last year - but I simply don't have the energy at the moment and haven't worked out since the party now. Dh keeps telling me to just get stuck back into it, so we've had a few rows this week because he just doesn't get that its not a choice not to exercise, I'd much rather be working out and gaining strength than feeling like this.

Ds1 has gone off to school this morning after many, many tears and much wailing. Not helped by the fact that I've put the blank cards somewhere and forgotten where, so he couldn't write one for the teacher that's leaving. Dh went and spoke to the teacher he has today and said if he works himself up into a state, she shouldn't try and struggle through the day with him, just call and I'll go straight down and pick him up. I know he's going to spend the entire day in tears. Unfortunately the teacher he has on Fridays is lovely (she has a child with very mild AS herself) but she's too soft/sympathetic with him and kind of feeds his upset, iykwim.

I did brave a weigh-in this morning, as I thought it might shock me out of my bingeing, but am not going to log it because its so dire! 156lbs, so I am over 11 stone again. Only to be expected, but it didn't do much for my mood.

well my weight in is 13 stone 0, if that's any consolation! seriously, it must suck to have physical limitations stopping you exercising, rather than simpler motivation issues, I'm not sure of your medical ins and outs but get the gist that since you had medical tests earlier in the year, you've felt a lot worse. Try and remember the yucky snowy thing eating feeling, as I know this sounds mad, but it can help as a deterrent to future overeating.

I hope that DS makes it through the day reasonably OK. I take it nice teacher veers too far the other side of jollying/distracting?

You've lost a pound, tlp! Well done!

Fingers crossed for Ds today, moose. X I know what you mean about too soft. We had to ask nursery to vary the 1-1 for dd2 as she just did everything for her, and I was forced to point out that the point of a 1-1 was to support where necessary and encourage independence where it was possible... Sometimes people are so lovely, but they don't see the bigger picture. Dd2 always takes it v badly when support staff leave. I've lost count of the number of times I've had to peel her away sobbing uncontrollably, and leave the poor staff member weeping as well... The first few times it was pretty horrific. These days I just go for the dive and peel and have to be very matter of fact. She cries herself out and then it's just bouts for a while. No easy way to do it, but prolonging the agony just makes it worse. Hope you don't have to collect him, but if you do, at least you know it's for the best. X

Well done on the pound loss TLP.

Tests were for MS. Currently have a working dx of 'probably MS' and will earn my stripes for a full MS dx, only if/when I am good enough to have another 'serious neurological relapse'. Yes, the tests knocked me about a lot. I was doing so well, having worked steadily on improving my health and fitness since May last year, so am slightly p'd off to have been set back by a load of medical tests that didn't prove or disprove anything anyway.

Ds1's nice teacher just tends to let him do whatever he wants all day on a Friday and if he gets upset tends to be a bit too sympathetic, which just winds him up even more. She means well.

He was in bits when I went to fetch him and the trainee teacher came out with him, but looked so out of her depth and frankly a bit terrified. I gave him a bid old hug and thanked her for looking after him etc, then scooped everyone up and got home asap. They'd managed to make everything worse by changing the timetable, again, to fit in a blooming leaving party for her - complete with sweets and party games. She was only there for a few weeks - four I think - six max.

All 3 ds are under a big black cloud this afternoon - along with their mum! Even ds2 is rock-bottom and he's usually my cheerful chap. I walked home with ds1 sobbing on one side, ds2 complaining loudly on the other and a poorly dd wailing and whining in the pushchair. Since then its been a constant stream of squabbles and telling tales etc.

Fortunately the boys have gone upstairs for their Nintendo DS time now, so things are a bit calmer.

I had a huge row with dh at lunchtime on top of everything else. Stoooopid male had the audacity to suggest that what is wrong with me is simply hormonal. Yes, there is a degree of PMT involved, but there's also a completely shitty week, a sick 3 year old, distressed 9 year old and no escape route to add into the mix.

Hope you are all having a better day than I am.

thanks for the admiration for my solitary pound . Bit of a surreal day. Having my blood pressure taken evolved into a full check up and smear test (grim). BP is 136/86. So about 5 lower than when I started taking the meds. So you can see Madwoman why I wonder if it was worth it! Then DS (who was meant to be helping with a stall for Sports Relief event) was wandering aimlessly on the playing field at school chatting to his friend, so I had to sort him out and keep an eye on him and drum up trade for "Drench the Teacher". I kid you not.

Moose - sorry you had a to do with you H on top of the grim day and yesterday with your DH. And sorry that going through the tests didn't get you very much further, must be v disconcerting to feel you have to wait for a relapse to get an official diagnosis,

Just seen your post about the lack of guidance re:SN and ms schools. God that takes me back a few years, the only time I called the inclusion services for help (he was supposedly on their caseload) I got told - all schools take kids with all types of SN, so we can't recommend anything. And we can't help you until your child has seen the paed and been referred to pre-school panel. Which given school applications deadline was in Nov, and paed appointment was the following May was ahem somewhat unhelpful.

I would love to have lost a pound TLP - although I absolutely don't deserve it.

I can think of a few teachers I'd love to nominate for "Drench the Teacher"!

I kind of relate the wait until you have a serious relapse and then we'll dx you with them waiting until our dcs fail before even considering starting to give them the right support - its all too little too late really isn't it.

After ds was really unable to cope with something as simple as a short-term trainee teacher leaving yesterday I found myself looking again at one of the local Special Schools and wondering if I should be considering it. If he can't handle this, how the hell is he ever going to manage at MS secondary. This SS does follow curriculum and they do do some GCSEs, plus have a 6th Form, but there is still a main emphasis on life-skills. I found myself wondering whether I am kidding myself and he actually does need the type of life-skill training etc that they do. They have about 30% ASD pupils, including some with Asperger's and he would get transport - but their intake is moderate learning difficulties and ds is 'I think' classed as ASD with no LDs, so I don't even think he'd get a place without a huge fight.

Other than that, there are only two school in the running - the local academy, which is very pushy academically and was the school to get your dc into prior to becoming an academy last year. He wants to go there if his best friend ends up going and also wants to go there because most of his peers from primary will automatically go there. Several 'professionals' have made comments like 'that school is very pushy academically you know' and 'there will be a lot of pressure on him if he goes there' etc but refused to discuss it any further than that, which kind of implies they don't think it would be right for him.

The other is a Drama/Arts College with a Language and Communication Skills ARC that he wouldn't get into, as his language skills are too good. Apparently the ARC mainly takes children with severe dyslexia. They do have a rep for being very good with SEN pupils in the main school though and I now know of three boys with ASD who have gone there and loved it. Downsides are, its 0.1 of a mile off him getting transport and although I plan to learn to drive my neuro stuff might mess up my chances of being able to drive him there and back every day. None of his friends will be going there, so its an even scarier prospect for him and not an option he's keen on.

Fundamentally, ds sees himself as nt and just wants to do the same as all the other children in his year and go onto the local catchment secondary/academy.

I really don't have a clue what to do and there's no-one to ask for advice.

sounds like the profs know more than they are letting on about the academy if they are even willing to drop hints against it . agree with your reasoning about the arts/drama college. take it the journey wouldn't be feasible on bus/train. I think it would be useful for you to go and see the SS, even if it's just to confirm it wouldn't be right for him. Is there any NAS branch locally you could try and get a bit of the gossip from?

Have you been to visit the ss moose? It might be worth doing that, so you can at least formulate an opinion on whether you can see him there...

I wonder if the arts college would work? Don't forget if he gets a statement then that might make him eligible for transport anyway?

To get him to the Arts/Drama College would be a bus into town and another one out or a three mile walk!

Not had any involvement with the NAS locally. There is a local ASD support group that is supposed to be very good and we might get some goss from, but for some reason every time they have a meeting we have something else on - despite the fact we never seem to do anything. There were a few members of the group at the transition meeting earlier this week though and they were decidedly cliquey, which has made me somewhat nervous about going along.

The problem with the academy thing is that ds's inclusion teacher and our SENCO have both said they know of and have helped a couple of boys who are similar to ds in need with transition to the academy and they are doing very well. I actually know one of the boys by sight, as he was at our school until the year before last and has a younger brother currently in year 6, but I don't know his mum to speak to.

Its all so blooming confusing.

So, physio and ot in school today. Both asked if I had been a therapist in a former life as I knew so much about their jobs . Er, no, I just have an 8 yo with cp. none of this stuff is exactly new to me... It's just no-one pays me to know about it.

Anyway, think they've solved the desk/chair thing forthe rest of this year anyway, although I suspect dd2 is going to freak when they put it in the classroom and she sees how much smaller it is than everyone else's dangly leg chairs etc. hey ho.

And science fair today, thank feck, because it's been doing my head in. O. Ver. Over. Over.

Physio for me this afternoon though, and then I can come home, put the kettle on, and within an hour they'll all come on from thus and it will be Two Weeks Off. And boy, do I need it. . Moose, I think you should do the same.

Am lol-ing at drench the teacher. It must be a lot warmer where you are!!! They would end up as icicles here at the mo! hmm at the bp.makes a bit of a mockery of the 'cure'...

I haven't visited anywhere yet. I was waiting so I could have a discussion based on him having a statement - rather than 'we're hoping he will have a statement'. I think I will ring them and ask if its worth us visiting - if they definitively won't take kids that don't have any specified LDs then there would be no point anyway. I'm also a bit concerned about how ds would handle the idea of going there - he identifies so strongly with his nt peers and doesn't think of himself as different or disabled, which is a bit of a double edged sword really. He really just wants to be just like all the other lads in his year.

According to the transport bod at the transition meeting - he wouldn't qualify if it was under 3 miles walking distance according to their online calculator - and whaddyaknow - its 2.9 miles. We could appeal and then go to panel if the appeal fails, but by then of course if we lose we'll have to find a way to get him there ourselves regardless as that's where he'll have a place.

The academy is just under a mile's walk, actually on my old weightloss walking route. In fact I broke my foot right outside there the year before last while trying to get fit. I ended up stuck on the wall outside the school at 7.00 am on a Sunday morning while I desperately tried to wake either dh or my Mum to come and take me to A&E. Its also on dh's way to work, so he could easily do drop off in the mornings, which he couldn't at the other school, as the roads around there get badly gridlocked (3 secondaries crammed into one small area).

Glad the ot and physio thing went well madwoman. Hope dd doesn't take her seating arrangements too badly.

Funny how these professionals are always so shocked at how much we know about our only children and what they need.

I would love to put the kettle on and have an hour's peace. Unfortunately dd seems to be dropping her nap and a couple of days in a row I've barely had time for my bum to hit a chair before she's calling to get up again. I neeeed that hour every afternoon for my own sanity.

That's kind of what I mean, though - I'm pretty sure that if you visit the ss you'll conclude that it sin't the right place - but it might stop you fretting about the possibility? At least one ruled out?

Good point. Thank you.

I'm so stressed about it all, I don't think I'm thinking all that rationally about it.

I panic a bit at the - um are you a doctor/health professional comments - as I then start thinking OMG are they going to think I am Munchausens Mama. I agree with madwoman btw - I would be very surprised if you thought SS was the way forward, but it's worth clarifying that in your mind. If he went to the academy and things went tits up, would he be able to transfer to the arts college a year or so down the line, do you think? It's a difficult one to call, as sometimes a more old-fashioned, structured approach might benefit kids on the spectrum more than modern group work/course work type approaches.

Actually TLP I was wondering about that. The academy is strict, very rules led and doesn't stand for any messing about. I actually think that would suit ds better than somewhere too touchy feely. He needs strong boundaries and feels most comfortable knowing what the rules are.

I also wonder how well suited a boy who is totally into computers and science etc would be to an Arts and Drama College.

I just wish he didn't have to go at all. None of them is a good fit. All we can hope for really is the best fit out of our options.

Your ds wants to go to the Academy moose, it's got the boundaries he needs and likes, his friends are going there .... I know it's scary thinking of all the things that could go wrong but there seem to be more negatives attached to the other two options. Wherever he goes there will be times when he can't cope for one reason or another, but he is bright and associates with being nt, he might start to feel more negatively about what his capabilities and future are if he is associating with less able children than himself.

Maybe a trip with him to all of these schools to have a look so that he feels involved in the choice and so he can picture all possible and available futures open to him would allay his anxieties at the moment. Could you contact the SENCo for the Academy?

I don't think I've explained myself very well, sorry! Been up twice in the night with one thing and another so I'm a bit fuzzy.

No Lamb, I think you put that v well, that it's important to take into account what Moose's DS wants, and that it may ease the transition to be at the school he prefers, with some familiar friendly faces.

Thanks everyone.

Lamb, not fuzzy at all - you've pretty much described my gut feelings there.

Realised this morning that if he doesn't go to the academy I will have 3 children in 3 different schools in a couple of years time, which has to be a logistical nightmare.

I am going to arrange to visit all three schools without him first, as he can't even bear to think about it all yet and gets very distressed when he does. Once I've scoped them out a bit I'll take him to visit the front runners. No point in taking him to the SS if there is zero chance of him going there.

Well, I have very odd thing going on here. My little toe started to really hurt yesterday afternoon and gradually got worse and worse until I couldn't walk on that foot or bear for it to be touched. Checked it at bedtime and it was bright red with a swollen joint. I can't remember for the life of me stubbing or knocking it at all, but going on past experience of the pain of broken toes - I think it may be broken. Hardly slept last night because I couldn't bear the duvet to touch it.

Not going to bother going to A&E though, don't think they do much for cracked little toes anyway and I'd rather they didn't poke it, wiggle it and then send me home with a packet of paracetamol.

am entirely familiar with the three children in different settings scenario...

dd1 was actually in a different county lol...

can def recommend taking this into account!!!

it's not gout is it? (can't remember for the life of me ever hearing of a vegetarian with gout, but do have a couple friends that suffer in random circs - ie no particular lifestyle rationale...)

agree that doing it solo (and if poss without telling him) would be sensible. but then involve him thoroughly.

poor wee chap, what a time he's having.

can definitely see that you wouldn't want to brave A & E of a sunny weekend, but maybe see the GP if it continues on Monday, in case it is gout or something of a rheumatological persuasion, as you dont remember injuring it?