Do you prefer the word fat or obese?

[Sweetiedarling7]

Just that really.
I really hate the word obese. Just because of the sound much like some other words which I find repulsive (smear being one) rather than as a term.
I always use fat.
Recently somebody reproved me for saying fat and tried to argue that is a negative word. I disagree.
Does anyone else have an opinion or are you not bothered either way?

I am fat and I prefer to say fat. Or call myself a heifer and make jokes about things orbiting around me.

i am fat (technically in obese category according to bmi) uk size 18, i use both and dont care what people use for me as a neutral descriptor - though if they’re obviously trying to be insulting it doesn’t matter what word they use, it’s still rude. i prefer them both hugely to things like chubby etc which i find childish and silly

Well, I am fat but I am not obsese. I don't see them as interchangeable words.

I have been obese. The word didn't bother me, the weight/ BMI did.

You can be fat but not obese. Obese is a medical term, indicated by having a BMI over 30 (or 27 for some ethnicities). "Fat" could be someone who is overweight (BMI greater than 25 but less than 30) but not medically obese.

I was obese, morbidly so, and also very very fat. I got less fat, and eventually not obese, and now I am not fat either. I don't really mind either term, if used accurately and not in a derogatory or insulting manner.

I use obese when talking factually/medically and fat when talking casually/colloquially

I think they mean different things, fat is visibly overweight, obese is a more of a medical term meaning someone's weight is over the safe level. An obese person is fat, but a fat person isn't necessarily obese.

I dont ever use the word obese but to me obese and fat are the same thing. Its just a word to describe someone who is overweight. Obese is bigger then fat.

I would probably say fat and massive instead of obese if it was descriptive of someone

I prefer overweight, if referring to another person. (And obvs i dont refer to anyone else's weight without being invited to.)

As PPs have said fat isn't the same as obese so cant be used interchangeably. And generally you're not privy to someone else's BMI and anyway you dont need to know if they are obese or not.

I wouldn’t say obese as it sounds clinical, I wouldn’t say fat either though I may say big but then to others that might not sound right.
I wouldn’t say thin either I’d say slim or slender but I think thin sounds unwell.

If you are referring to yourself you can use whatever the fuck you want. Context is key though. If I’m talking to a friend I might say I’m a ‘fat bitch’. If I’m talking to a doctor I’m probably going to say ‘obese’. If I’m talking to an acquaintance it’s more likely to be ‘overweight’.

This person who suggested fat is a negative word, are they seriously suggesting obese isn’t?

The person who tried to correct me is a thin person and I wasn’t talking about any specific person at the time just in general terms about my experience of being fat and losing weight.

Obese is a medical term and has a specific meaning. I don't think anyone can use the term unless they know the individuals BMI, weight and height.
I wouldn't use either term when speaking about someone else. I don't see when I would need to.

@Sweetiedarling7 did she say what word she thought you should have used instead, if not the word fat to describe being fat?

I prefer plumptious, don't know if Nigella invented it, but it suits her perfectly. Unless she too has lost all her extra padding courtesy of GLP-1 injections? Haven't seen a photo of her for a while and all the previously well padded celebrities seem to have shrunk recently.

The word obese is not purely medical and existed well before any BMI index was created - basically meaning very overweight.

Personally, I don’t like using the word fat as an adjective. It doesn’t come naturally to me and feels harsh or unkind. Possibly stems from childhood, hearing adults or peers use it negatively. It wasn’t directed at me, I was slim until my late teens, but I absorbed the tone, judgements and hurt around the word.

I am fine with fat as a noun e.g. "I have less fat around my waist"

Overweight feels less harsh than "fat" and I would probably use overweight in conversation, or perhaps use phrases such as "carrying too much weight", "lost the weight". Obese is more descriptive but wouldn't use in casual real life conversation unless specifically talking about BMIs........... which is never.

Just to add to what I said earlier, I would only use fat when referring to myself, when referring to other people I would either not comment at all on their size or use something like 'larger' or maybe overweight if I needed to be more factual

I despise the word “fat” because it reminds me of the childhood insults that led to my disordered eating. I seldom use it even in jest.

But I’d defend anyone else’s right to use it about themselves if they want, of course.

“Obese” has never been levelled at me as an insult. I was medically obese at my heaviest, but no one ever used that word to demoralise or hurt me, so it’s not a loaded word for me.

For context, with WLI I moved from BMI 36 to BMI 25.

Overweight. I don’t like any other description.

I use fat to refer to myself. It feels like reclaiming the word from arseholes who called me that when I was younger and it was very hurtful. Now it’s just neutral to me and that feels good.

As others said you can be fat but not clinically obese. No one likes any of the words, be it fat, overweight, obese, people know it’s visible that they are this way, they don’t like it mentioned. Even by a doctor.

i don’t know how obese sounds like smear though.

I was overweight but have never been obese. Does that mean I have been fat or not? Fat isn’t exact - obese class I, II or III are medical definitions.

But not all overweight people are obese so they're not interchangeable.

I don’t think anyone has the right to describe someone unless they have been invited to do so, if it’s in a medical context then the clinician involved can discuss weight/bmi if it appropriate related to the health enquiry. How we describe ourselves is by personal preference, I had a colleague recently tell me I was chubby 👀 (her opinion had not been sought by me) For context I have lost 43 kg in the last year, I’m 5.5” and a size 12 - 14 - In my head I was feeling lots of things but chubby wasn’t one of them 😅 I suppose it’s all relative though 🤷🏼‍♀️

I regularly read people on MN describing a size 16 as enormous which I find ridiculous but as you say, it’s all relative.

Im not fat anymore but when I was a size 20 I preferred fat. Obese sounds like a disease. I guess iit can be a disease but I didnt like it.