Comments on your weight loss - nice and not so night things people have said?

[threeeggsontoast]

I’ve lost 2 stone and 2lbs and people are starting to notice. So far, the handful of people who’ve said anything have been nice and today, a colleague walked up to me and said, ‘gosh, you look lovely. You can really tell’. I was quite touched by that.

At some point I imagine there’ll be some catty/snippy comments but just wondering if anyone else has had some nice (or perhaps not so nice) comments about their weight loss?

Me too! My friends say things like "I just can't see it", "you always look the same" and "you can't possibly have been that big". It's really consistent.

Like, I don't want to go on about it but also I'm not lying! I have lost 50 pounds and gone from obese to BMI 21. I didn't do it to look better, just to feel better, so I'm not upset but I am surprised. I didn't realise how bad we are at judging the weight of others. I include myself in this.

That’s so odd. I lost 13kg (2 stone) from a 12 (only just, ie closer to 14) to an 8 and had had so many comments. Very visible in the gym when I’m wearing leggings and a vest top so had most comments there.

Oh well I'd never be a size 8 in a million billion years. My skeleton wouldn't be a size 8! 😂50 pounds took me down one size, from a 14/16 to a 12/14.

So our frames are very different.

You’re probably like me and you carry weight well so less noticeable, my skeleton could never be a size 8 either as I have wide shoulders and hips.

Well I’ve had a bit of a wild weekend with ‘comments’. I went to a family reunion and saw people I’d not seen since last year and from the moment I walked in, everyone was commenting. I’ve lost 2.5 stone and I didn’t think it was that noticeable but apparently everyone thought so. Comments included (from my notoriously blunt family);

’You’re like a normal person now’
’You’re quite pretty under all that’
’It’s nice to see you not dressing in fat person black’.

I’m not too bothered as I love these people but my word, it was weird! In the end I asked them to stop talking about it mostly as it just made me think how hideous they must have thought I looked before. 😭

@narkyspiritI thought ‘you look well’ was a code for ‘you’ve put on weight’!
I don’t really like people commenting. ‘You’re looking good’ I can just about take. But any reference to the weight I was and really I want them to shut up. So ‘you’ve lost weight’ might be ok if followed by you look great, but not ‘you’ve lost SO MUCH weight’, inevitably followed by ‘what did you do/ what’s your secret’? Good old calorie counting in my case (I’d try MJ but I’m a type 1 diabetic so can’t). But no one wants to hear about that.

I lost a lot of weight, 5 plus st. The best comments were along the lines of "you look well". A lot of people asked how I did it (I ate properly and consistently) didn't seem to believe me and talked about WL jabs. It made a few too many female 'friends' uncomfortable, people who would try repeatedly to force food, or a piece of cake on me when I'd said no thanks I'm not hungry. It had a strange effect I didn't forsee. Some people have you as "the fat friend" and get unsettled when you change that dynamic. Of course they aren't really your friend deep down. Personal change can unsettle those around you, be it weight loss, separation, returning to education or whatever, don't be surprised if one or two old "friends" drop away.

What's funny though is I am the same as you and think this whilst simultaneously thinking I look better slimmer.
I also want people to say nothing about my weight loss but feel put out when they dont mention it (especially as I have making it to the gym 3 times a week for months!).
Schrodinger's (fat) cat 😬

I don’t think any one really thinks like that, well not unless they have real issues, I certainly have never looked at a fat person and thought god they look hideous, I’ve also never paid someone a compliment and meant it in a horrible bitchy way where I was really saying you looked hideous before.

the truth for me, is I didn’t like the way I looked fat, I do look better now. I never thought I looked hideous though. So I don’t feel I can take issue with the fact anyone else thinks I look better now.

however on saying that I did have one female who kept going on about it. And in my head I was like alright shut up now,you’ve made your point.

ive been maintaining for 6 months, weight stable and they say it takes people 3 times to see you to adjust to your new appearance, I’ve lost over 6 stone. I mean my appearance still surprises me, and I see myself every day, so why would anyone else react differently.

but the comments are now stopped as everyone has got used to it. I’m seeing a few people in a couple of weeks I’ve not seen for a year, so I would assume I will get some then, or a few double takes, and that’s fine.

I was a size 16 (if I’m honest my 16’s were far too tight for half a year but I kept squeezing it I them) and obese.. and have lost 3stone, am now in 12’s and some bigger 10’s. I’m ‘just’ in a healthy BMI now (I’m very short) and could do with losing a bit more to give me a buffer for fluctuations.

people have generally been lovely, telling me I look great etc, but in recent weeks I’ve had some people saying ‘don’t lose any more’ and ‘are you going to stop losing now though?’ etc asking me if I’m eating enough (I am) and telling me I’m disappearing… I’m clearly not disappearing !

weirdly it’s very slim people that say this , people I guess are size 8.

I’ve had a lot of this too. When I’ve told people at work (trusted colleagues, not just anyone that will listen) that i was obese (BMI wise) and struggling to fit into size 16’s they just won’t believe me. some people are almost affronted that I saw I was obese and it was bad for my health , hence the intentional weight loss …

It’s weird as I gained this weight over the last few years so lots of these people met me as a size 12 and then I grew bigger… maybe they just normalised how I looked when bigger and as it’s been a quick ish weight loss (3 stone/6 months) they have noticed it more?

How much have you lost?
Don't lose any more (from people lighter than you)
There's less of you to hug
You're not ill are you?
Be careful, you don't want to look gaunt
You're becoming obsessed with clothes sizes

I don't mind any of the above really, was just happy to have lost weight.

I lost 5 stone by hard work and bloody minded ness. MIL, not the nicest person, told me my haircut (sane as ever) was ‘very slimming’!

Nasty old bat!

My teenagers haven’t noticed or commented which I find hilarious. I’ve lost 3 stone and 3 dress sizes.

Some people have commented, not many. Usually if they say “you’ve lost weight@, I just say “yes, I have” and then change the subject.

I think that’s quite nice that they don’t see your weight and just see their mum!

We’re all hypocrites 😂
best thing is 6 months after hitting target and it’s just accepted that this is your weight now and no-one comments at all.

I've lost 7 stone in the last 3 years. A few people have made really nice comments,a few have not said anything at all. I have had one not so nice comment,the one that sticks in my mind,from a friend of a friend,who never saw me at my heaviest. She asked how much weight I'd lost,and when I said 7 stone,she said 'Oh my god,you must have been HUGE!'. I was lost for words. OK so its true,but I think there was no need for this remark!

Sometimes the no comments are worse.

We were out with some friends at the weekend, 8 of us, 4 men, 4 women, one of the women , is morbidly obese, wants the drugs, but wants them on the nhs, even though she can easily afford. BMI probably in the mid 40s. So she’s slowly losing weight without help.

I told her she looked great and loved her outfit, when I saw her, which she did and I did think that, and it’s something she always wants to hear , and she said not one word in return, not even you look well too. But I saw her side eying me up and down when she thought I wasn’t looking. Four of us in the group of eight on the drugs, any comment on you look great to any one of us , whatever, was met with the same cats arse mouth and flared nostrils before she quickly looks away. The other three are men. There is no conversation past something very brief as we all see her gritted teeth, so even though we would love to discuss, we don’t.

jealousy is such an ugly emotion and when it consumes you so much you can’t react positively to friends you’ve known over 3o years, you can’t even pretend to be positive , it’s even uglier.

There are many emotions wrapped up in this as she sees us all look healthier, become slim, but jealousy is clearly one at its core. Even though the answer to this is in her own hands, and she herself is putting herself in this situation.

She appears to genuinely beleive she will get them on the nhs and for ever more, saving her a small fortune. So she will be the “winner” And on the nhs she will be correct, but she needs to own her decision and accept it will be years before she gets them, and we are entitled to make different decisions as well as it’s not a competition, we would be delighted for her if she gets them on the nhs.

so sometimes, the no comment is infinitely worse than the comment.

Agreed - I think they think like that (if you see what I mean) because of body issues which I’m really trying to smack on the head.

I too have never complimented someone on weight loss or how they look unless I really mean it. Having said that, at the weekend, two of my uncles are also on MJ and say they’ve lost the same amount of weight - it was obvious one had but the other didn’t - I did hear myself saying to them both ‘you look great - you can tell!’ I didn’t want one of the uncles to feel like I wasn’t complimenting him too.

The whole thing is fraught with danger. 😂

I had the strangest comment this week at the gym. Someone said “it must be so nice to be so fit and active, I bet you can’t imagine what I feel like”. My face was like 😮but we only met in June, when I was around a 16, and I’m a 12 now.

I ended up showing her photos of me in Jan when I was a size 22 because she didn’t believe I was ever that size! We had a great conversation in the end as I explained my journey.

My 18 year old DS hadn’t said anything until he gave me a hug and said ‘you feel smaller mum’. !

"So she will be the “winner” And on the nhs she will be correct, but she needs to own her decision and accept it will be years before she gets them"
@Wildgoat That's a strange one. If there's a treatment available for obesity, albeit privately, why would you not go for it, when we know all the health benefits that come with getting out of that zone? (Contraindications excepted of course). Let's hope she doesn't suffer from one of the many complications that can come with obesity in the meantime.

My sister is the only person I have told except my dh and best mate. She hasn't noticed I have lost over 2 stone. But I can guess she disapproves of the injections. I'm leaning towards saying I only did it for a few months if she does ever mention it. Because of that I'm still saying "oh do you think so? I will have to weigh myself" to other friends and telling them it must be stress ( I do have a very stressful life).

I'm trying to do a good thing for the right reasons and have changed my diet beyound recognition and still feel judged its not botcamp and calorie counting every thing that passes my lips.

Honestly, part of me wonders if she enjoys food so much, and she does, she tells us regularly , it’s a huge part of her life, and isn’t mentally ready, so that by waiting for the nhs, it’s a way to delay doing it for years, as she is worried she would be giving that enjoyment and pleasure up. Weight loss is very complex for some I think, you need to be ready.

so she feels watching us all do it, and successfully so, does call into question why she doesn’t, so is using the nhs wait as an excuse to delay it.

so maybe it feels like pressure on her, to her, to do the same. And that’s why it pisses her off when she sees us all being successful. Like if you’ve no issue taking meds, and can easily access, why would you not.

None of us have ever ever suggested she should go on them, not even hinted at it, it’s her who said she wanted them, her who requested she get referred to tier 3, her who asked her gp to refer her, her who knows it will be years before she is eligible, but she did all that, before we all went on them. She did it and told everyone she was being proactive to lose weight. She had sought help. Without actually really losing weight.

i was first on them, and was very honest about it when she asked, she literally gritted her teeth and jaw line, when I said I had started them, I was quite taken aback by her expression , then the other three followed suit when they saw how successful I was and how much healthier. And with each one of us going on them, she’s got worse and worse about it.

so I think she feels pressure, and isn’t ready, and she’s running into issues due to her weight, her joints and bones are now struggling, causing pain and mobility issues. But she doesn’t have even 1 of the 5 health conditions to make her eligible, so it really will be years.

This! If they offer it as a point of conversation and you feel you want to say you look great then fine, but otherwise it isn’t necessary to comment either way. Or instead make more general comments - you look great / I love your dress or whatever. Just quit commenting on other people’s body.