I haven't told my husband....

[catlady2025]

I have been on the weight loss injections since April, and so far have lost 50 lbs which is amazing. I've struggled to loose weight after a large weight loss a few years ago and the injections have helped immensely.
The thing is I haven't told my husband, he is very opinionated on the subject and it took me about 6 months to get the courage to sign up for them as I finally decided I wanted to do something for me and sod everyone else.
I use my personal money from my side business so he doesn't see the cost.
I just told him I am being sensible with my choices and portion control, he works away Mon-Friday do didn't probably see how little I was actually eating in the first few months.
I just don't know if I should tell him? Would it make a difference or AIBU by hiding this from him? I've still got about 30-40 lbs more to loose before I'll be at a weigh which is classed as healthy for my height, but I'm still on the fence about going that low. Husband is happy with me any any weight, though has noticed the weight loss and loves me just as much. We've been together since I was 16 and we have a 12 year old together, we are both 40.
I guess I just feel a bit ashamed at times, I haven't told anyone other than my best friend and my mam because everyone has very strong opinions (usually bad about it), I just can't get the words out. I don't keep secrets in our marriage which is why I guess this is eating at me a bit.
Sorry for the rant, this is my first time posting.

He's away every week for 5 days? None of his business.

Don't feel ashamed about it at all. I guess whether or not I would tell him would possibly depend on what his "very opinionated" thoughts are on WLI and what he has said about them. If it's concern about the risks of possible side effects or something reasonable, then maybe I'd tell him. If it's rants about them being "cheating" or similar, then maybe not!

You should be able to talk to your husband about anything. The fact that you feel the need to hide it suggests that feel bullied by him and his opinions.

I didnt tell my husband too when I started mainly because he works in healthcare and he is concerned about the side effects surrounding MJ but he later found it in the fridge and we had the discussion and he was ok with it as long as I'm being careful.

There is nothing to feel ashamed about, it is choice at the end of the day. He can be opinionated all he wants, stand your ground. You are doing this for YOU not him or anyone else.

I can’t imagine not telling my husband about something so huge and significant in my life.

I've been on it months haven't told anyone including my husband, I wouldn't tell him, just because I couldn't be arsed with the conversation if he's already made his mind up, however you've told some people, and there's always a chance that it'll leak out that way, even if unintentionally, so you have to be prepared for that scenario.

There is absolutely no reason for you to feel shame. You are taking medication to treat a clinical condition. It is working and you are already healthier as a result.

What's very unhealthy and honestly quite worrying is the fact that you can't tell the person who is supposed to be your partner in all parts of your life. I think you need to talk to a professional to get some support with this. Has he always been domineering?

No you're not being unreasonable and you absolutely shouldn't feel ashamed. You haven't told your husband because his attitude and comments have created the difficult scenario you now find yourself in.
You've lost 50lbs so far - congratulations and well done, it doesn't happen by itself, even with the help of WLIs.
It doesn't matter that he doesn't care what you weigh, it matters to you which is why you've done something about it, and continue to do so. Don't think you can't go to a healthy BMI, you can if you want to, and there's nothing wrong with using WLIs to get there. It just seems like a big deal from where you started at.
There are huge threads on here about whether or not you should tell other people, including spouses, and you'll get as many opinions as there are forum users.
If he mentions it again, after maybe an article on the news, maybe ask him what he has against WLIs, and maybe suggest that it might be really helpful for some people, without indicating you might be using them.
A bit out there, but could he be saying he's against them to be supportive of you, because he thinks you have done it without?
But my main point is don't feel bad about not telling him if he is dead set against, because you need to do what you want with your body.

I suspect he probably knows and knows what he is doing when he talks about it.

I mean, it’s not exactly an interesting topic of conversation is it? I don’t think this is a usual topic of discussion for most couples.

Who cares what he thinks. If he continues to make you feel bad for losing the weight and the method in which you have lost it…well he's just more weight for you a lose and feel lighter!

I didn't tell my husband to start with. Same reasons..
I have a very similar story to you. I have known him since I was 18, got married at 21; 3 children and now 37 years married. He has always loved me whatever size I am.

After I had lost about 3 stone I just said that I wanted him to know that I was on this medication incase I got taken to hospital for any reason.
He asked about it and I was able to tell him the facts and also explain how unhappy I had been, 5 stone over weight.

He has been incredibly encouraging and I am so glad I told him.
Would do it the same way again though. Not telling anyone gave me the freedom to just get on with it, no excuses or explanations needed as to why this was a good idea. I made the decision for myself, paid for it with my own money.
I love my DH very much indeed, but that doesn't mean I need him to help make all my personal decisions with me.

AYBU for not telling a man you cannot trust to support you through personal / significant medical issues - No you are not

AYBU to be married to a man you cannot trust to support you through personal / significant medical issues so much that you need to also bear the burden of lying to him instead, possibly impacting your health further, or success of treatment - that is a whole other thread beyond the sphere of WLI support board! Perhaps try the relationships board.

This is a hard one but don’t feel ashamed, it’s hard when people are so opinionated on weight loss medication. If it’s eating away at you I’d say maybe bring it up when you feel comfortable, he can see how well you’ve done already so it’s obviously working, he’ll no doubt be worried as your his wife but if you tell him all the good health benefits I’m sure he’ll feel more assured. It’s the unknown for some people who have not looked into the meds and just hear the bad stories so jump to conclusions. Good luck xx

I'm a husband and I feel sad that he is so unsupportive - he may love you whatever, but love needs the ability to listen to understand and then want the person you love to be happy on their terms. You can disagree but still support.

Keep on keeping on, go be the best you.

I have been on MJ for over a year and my husband doesn’t know. I think he would be negative about it and I just cannot be arsed to have that conversation. It’s my body, my money, nothing to do with him.

This isn’t uncommon and is very sad. Howver if the outcome is going to be poor if you tell him, strife, belittling, bullying, negativity, which I assume it is otherwise you’d just say, then don’t tell him.

but do consider why you stay married to such a person, the only opinion you can have on these drugs is the scientific one, everything else is an arsehole in motion,

What do you mean no doubt he’d feel assured. Some people. Men and women alike are abusive arseholes. If she thought he’d be supportive she’d tell him. She doesn’t even want him to know what she eats, clearly she’s married to a big problem. So no he wouldn’t be assured.

I just meant clearly he can see her doing well and I meant he may be more assured now she’s been on it a while and can see she hasn’t had any really horrible side effects that make her ill Incase he was worried about that. At the end of the day it’s up to her whether she wants to tell him or not but obviously the lies are eating away at her.

At the end of the day she knows him. You don’t.

I didn’t say I knew him just offering some advice.

Makes me feel weirdly sad that women are married to people they don't trust not to be mean, or feel able to share 100% of their lives with.

I guess some relationships are different from other relationships 🤷‍♀️

@catlady2025 I have been taking MJ for 18 months and my partner does not know.
We don’t live together most of the time so it was easy at first but I do feel a bit bad now I have not told him.
When I started it was kind of at the beginning of the common use of the jabs and it also was supposed to help with and other medical condition I have,
I think about how I would feel if he was taking it and didn’t tell me - I would be happy he has made a good decision about his health and his medication is not something I ask about so I would not mind.

Yes. A few of my friends have collapsed with kidney issues due to taking it, one fully passed out so at least her husband could tell the paramedic

It's no one's business but yours. It's your body and your choice.
If you want to tell him do, but don't feel guilty if you decide not to.

Gosh how many is a few? That’s very unlucky given that kidney issues are incredibly rare as long as you stay hydrated, and GLP1s can actually protect against renal failure for patients with CKD.