Boyfriend thinks WLI are cheating

[Sogfree]

Posting here for traffic, as I think it's been lost in my monthly chat feed:

I've not told my boyfriend of 8 months that I'm on MJ. He's not noticed my weight loss really, as it's gradual. He goes to the gym 5/7 days. I've been running 5k+ 3/7 days for the last 10 years.

WLI were mentioned yesterday in conversation. He said "well those injections are just cheating, aren't they?"

I responded with something like "if it helps people become healthier long term, then surely that's a good thing"

Then moved the conversation on.

Where do I go with this?!

And in one fell swoop you’ve solved the obesity crisis and rendered the dieting industry redundant. If only we’d known!!

You only read my first few words, not the whole comment. Before being sarky read it all.

I think cheating is the wrong word because you do still need to make the right choices if your goal is health as well as weight loss. It is a lot bloody easier though and I don’t make any apology about that. I have lost over 5 stone on it since November and am now a healthy weight. I can’t praise it enough I think it’s marvellous and has made what has been a life long struggle sooo much easier and I am healthier for it. I have since come off it as I thought after months of using it as a tool to change habits and lifestyle I could manage on my own. I can manage and am making good choices but the struggle is back. Turns out a leopard doesn’t change its spots and the food noise comes back. I’m now back on a maintenance dose of 5mg which takes the edge off but we’ll see if I can stay on that when the price hike comes in. Hopefully as I bloody love it.

Ah ok if you have only been on since June and lost a stone it’s quite understandable no one has noticed yet, as assuming you are/were obese to be eligible, then the first stone isn’t really noticeable to most people. We all thought you’d been on the meds 8 months,

Diets are only ever successful in the long term when people change their eating habits and lifestyle. There's a huge amount of research data available that shows when people lose weight "conventionally", they invariably put all that weight back on in the long term, that's a fact. It's no different with WLIs, except that they can make it easier for people to make those lifestyle changes.

This is, frankly, laughable. I started MJ May 2024. I didn’t fully discuss it with my dh of 25 years. When we did discuss it he was so impressed by the results he started using it himself!

I wasn’t “hiding” anything I just wanted a bit of privacy in case it was yet another failed attempt to lose weight!

I am on WLI. Your BF is right. But so what and why not? What offends you about his opinion?

I mean - it is cheating in the sense that it makes losing weight much easier.

But why does that matter? Much better to “cheat” and be healthy than struggle on when you don’t have to 🤷‍♀️

I was a slim child and a slim teenager. When I felt my skirts get tight I just gave up the cakes and fizzy drinks until the felt loose again (3-4 days). I didn’t drive so I was reliant on public transport. Couldn’t be bothered to wait ages for a bus so would walk to the next bus stop.

Then, in my early 20’s I decided that I wanted to be 9 stone rather than 9 1/2 so I went on a diet. 40 years later I’m still battling my weight (although even 10 stone seems unattainable right now)

Diets don’t work, they just constantly distort our relationship with food.

I like exercise, not quite as much as an almond magnum but I really do get excited by a half marathon or an open water swim. I’d absolutely love the time to train for a triathlon! But you cannot out exercise a poor diet and for many, many of us the compulsion to eat is far stronger than anything else. The food noise creates an anxiety that is hell to live with and if wli help that then idc what others think, I’ll do me.

The only cheating I’m doing is cheating an early death.

Yep. I've been a bit chunky since about 25 and gone up or down over the years but always a bit more up than down. I do keep considering wli but really hate anything with a needle attached. So keep cutting out for now.

@Shellyash the needle is tiny - it just goes in your skin. I can barely feel it!

I’d just make sure I said isn’t it just cheating though? About every medical invention that came into the conversation. I’m subtle, me. So if you have a headache, you say I know it’s cheating but I’m taking some painkillers. Ankle sore? I know it’s cheating but I think I might see the physio. Surgery comes up - ‘medical science is really just cheating nature isn’t it. Maybe some genes were supposed to die out for the future survival of the race, and we’re hothousing ourselves into extinction instead.
go on 😁😁😁😁

How is that not a diet though? You ate in a deficit, presumably less that you’d been eating before, and you managed to lose weight.

What gave you that idea? I read it all and I disagree with it all.

Yup. It’s all cheating.

Hair conditioner - cheating hair to make it soft
Paracetomol - cheating the headache
Mirena - cheating reproduction to not get pregnant
HRT - cheating menopause no hot flushes
Hair laser - cheating having hairy legs

etc

Yep.

It's an extremely annoying truth that formerly obese bodies like becoming obese again. They don't behave in the same way as the bodies of those who've never been obese.

But WLI can buy you the time to overhaul your eating habits and break cravings while the food noise is suppressed or damped down. At least that’s the approach that seems to be working for me so far post-WLI, I’ve lost 3st and it’s staying off.

That's great, hope it continues to work for you.

They are.

Does it matter what he thinks?

You are hiding something fairly significant from him, presumably because you knew you wouldn’t like his opinion, so the relationship is already doomed. You shouldn’t be feeling the need to hide things about yourself right at the start of a new relationship.
Nonsense, you dont have to disclose jabs to a new boyfriend if you don't want to. Its your pri ate buisness.

Interesting. What does cheating mean to you in this scenario? Do you mean that obese people that are finally able to lose weight therefore positively impacting their life don’t deserve it if it’s via this method? Or something else? Genuinely interested.

@SoManyIdiotsSoLittleWine I didn’t say anything about obese people not deserving anything, which makes me wonder why you’d infer that? I think jabs are not a replacement for healthy eating exercise and willpower. Nothing sinister

So do you think that obese people who have failed to lose weight in the past just didn’t do it properly? I’m not suggesting it’s anything sinister, I’m genuinely interested in your thoughts. I am assuming that overweight people wish that they could have done it without the jabs, I doubt it’s fun for them to take them. Do you not believe for instance, that there may be physiological reasons why they struggle more than slim people to maintain their weight?

No, I think jabs are not a replacement for diet exercise and willpower. An easy option, something that should be a last resort.