Now a healthy bmi but still look awful:(

[mounjarowoes]

My bmi is now normal. I still look dreadful and fat
Was trying on some new clothes in store today and when I handed back the clothes that were too big the young man looked like he was about to laugh.I ended not buying anything as I felt so stupid buying a dress etc cos of it.
I went out yesterday for the first time with my legs partly uncovered and I'm sure people were staring at how stupid I looked.
I'm only 33 all I want is to feel and look sexy and be desired but even with the weightloss I've realised that's never going to be the case
Has anyone else near the end of mounjaro realising the same ?

I'd put money on this being your perception of the situation. The changing room guy wouldn't have even looked at you or what you were handing back - it's a dull job and he just wouldn't care enough. Other people out and about will also be getting on with their lives. It sounds like you've done great, are now a healthy weight and can now start working on toning up if you want to. Or you can enjoy the health benefits of being thinner as you are. It's hard to change your mindset after large weightlosses, the mind doesn't lose the weight as fast as the body. Hopefully it catches up soon and you get to enjoy the new you!

This does sound like your perception of what you look like and what other people are thinking is off rather than you really look awful and everyone is thinking it!

I can really relate, it is hard for your brain to catch up when we lose weight and I certainly still don’t like what I see in the mirror after losing 3 stone even though objectively I can see I look so much better.

I have loose skin which is never attractive but I am working out at the gym and trying to tone up.

Be proud of yourself. Compare before and after photos to remind yourself of how far you have come. Wear the nice clothes, treat yourself to some new things in exciting smaller sizes and work on toning if that’s what you wish. Hope your mindset shifts soon, you sound like you’ve done really well.

It takes ages for your brain to catch up with your body and to actually recognise what’s in the mirror. I am sure you don’t look awful at all. No one would have thought anything about your legs, and I’m certain that you didn’t look stupid at all. Of course that doesn’t stop you feeling vulnerable and anxious about what you look like. I think we all have moments where we can feel like that.

I hate trying clothes on in shops, at any size, and having to interact with the sales assistants. If he was going to laugh at you then he’s lost a sale, and he’s the idiot, as well as being unpleasant. Or he could have been thinking of all sorts of other things and not really paying you much attention. Either way, it’s his issue not yours. You have every right to try on clothes in different sizes and return the ones that don’t fit, for whatever reason. Maybe go back to the shop on another day and get the dress, if you still want it?

It does read like you're projecting a huge amount, OP.

If you have a normal BMI then no one is staring or laughing at you. The majority of adults are overweight, that is the norm.

I'm sure you look fine, but you might find lifting some weights is helpful if you feel like things are all a bit wobbly. Do you go to the gym already OP? If not, it can be easy to lose muscle while you lose weight and heavy-ish weights are a good way to mitigate. I use it as an opportunity to catch up with a friend if I can do a routine with someone, or to listen to a podcast if not.

I would love to go to the gym but definitely feel so self conscious. So have weights etc at home

Firstly - yes, undoubtedly this is more about your perception than how you actually look

Secondly - I have found when I'm overweight I've got a tendency to just wish I was slimmer then everything would be ok. To think that there are two groups of people - slim and therefore attractive and can look good in everything, and fat and don't,

Once I've lost weight I've realised it's a lot more complex and there are different types of slim bodies that look good in different things and it's rare to have a body that looks good in "everything". You still need to dress for your shape and it's normal to have parts of your body you like more than others.

I understand how you feel OP. I naively thought that once I'd reached a healthy BMI I'd have a great body 😂 and actually I still have a mum tum, bingo wings and wobbly thighs. I am working with a PT to tone up. Plus eating less has meant I'm also eating not enough protein, so I'm trying to up my protein intake.

As pps have said much of this is your internal voice being unkind.
That said I think it is easy to drop some muscle on the jabs. I think now you should try to be healthier and exercise would help. Both in terms of feeling more positive and improving your physique. You don’t have to go to the gym ( though there are all sorts there) I recommend getting out walking. Start small and build up.

They should tell you this but they don’t. Get weight training or you’ll look ‘skinny fat’ it will help you look more lean. It will also protect your bones as you age. I bet you look good though and it’s just mentally hard to comprehend.

Oh OP. I bet you look lovely.

I remember being 22 with no kids and crying over my body when I weighed 7st 7oz (I'm only 5ft 2). All I could see was my huge (E cup) boobs, a flabby tummy and wobbly arse. Of course it was all in my head. I looked very slim. I look at photos from back then and I feel sad st how unkind I was to my 22 year old self (and how I long for that wobbly arse again).

This

Sadly none of us appreciate ourselves at the time, but yours seems extremist.

I don't take any notice of anyone generally, everyone blurs into a mass, unless they look particularly glam, or wearing something staggering, or very large.

That's great that you have weights at home. I'm not an expert on that because I tend to lift fairly heavy weights but there will be lots of options for bodyweight exercises as well I expect.

I think the other points about still hanging to dress for your body are also good. I had a point when I'd been pretty ill when I weighed 8 stone, Vs a usual adult weight of 10.5-11 stone. I still didn't just look good in everything, and I still had a bit of a tummy etc. Nothing makes my tummy be washboard flat and there's no point bearing myself up over it.

On top of that, I have to remind myself that shop changing rooms are often terribly unflattering because they're often lit from above and only above, so looking terrible there isn't very representative of how I actually look!

Yes I’m normal bmi but have parts of my body that look weird as fuck after weight loss, a melted candle or like the fat person inside left just leaving the skin behind 😂

however even 3 months later it’s starting to look better. My arms have ‘gone back’ - instead of massive bingo wings it’s all starting to ‘knit together’

my legs have yet to catch up. Weight training will really help you adjust, I’m going to join a gym in September when the schools go back.

try to be kind to yourself

On the clothes side, treat yourself to an outing with a personal shopper. Choose a big store like John Lewis, explain to her what you want the clothes for, and let her suggest items for you to try..

It could be that you aren't used to choosing clothes that suit your new slim shape, so let her help you and give you a bit of confidence.

Like PPs I suspect your stress over weight loss has left your perception a little off centre. It will take time to get used to.

Well done on the weight loss 👏

Unless you are a six foot model, some clothes will still look terrible on you. When I was in my teens, my friends and I would sometimes try on the most unflattering garments we could find. I remember us doubling over with laughter at how bad we looked. None of us were overweight but not every style suits everyone.

Well done on the weight loss and try different clothes.

I'm 5'7 and 9 st so BMI 19,5. I HATE trying clothes on because I feel that nothing fits. I loathe changing rooms and order clothes online; fluid dresses etc. The only thing I have to try on is trousers/jeans.

I have got an overweight friend who loves shopping and trying on clothes. So it's not about weight. It's about how you feel about yourself.

Honestly people are much less interested in you than you think. The man in the changing rooms will have been thinking about something else.
Go for a good bra fitting as that’s key and focus on buying clothes that you feel comfortable in and enjoy wearing rather than trying to look sexy at this stage.
Its normal when you lose weight to focus on something else that makes you feel self conscious. I remember I once lost weight in my 20s and then became obsessed by a bad haircut. I look back at the photos and I looked good.

Come on OP have you ever spent time thinking about a strangers legs when you’ve been out and about?

most people are just going about living life not focusing on the minutiae of other people’s body/outfits

sometimes body confidence is fake it till you make it. If you feel unconfident at the gym wear a baggy T-shirt and joggers. But keep trying, get some shape wear if you want a certain silhouette. Watch some videos on how to style for your body shape.

id go to some classes I always find those a bit less daunting and lots of spin classes are in the dark! So you can ride along at the back unnoticed until you feel a bit better and the slowly work your way to the front

This is part of the issue with unsupported weight loss.
A good weight management programme, which can include WLI would help you tackle the reasons you were obese in the first plac, and give you psychological support with your weight loss. Bariatric services do the same.
No one gains a lot of weight JUST because they eat too much, they is almost always a reason for the overeating and that needs to be dealt with as part of your WL journey.

I'm having a slow weight loss journey with mounjaro but it's been quite fascinating too.
I've been around the same weight now for about 6 weeks but I look vastly different now than 6 weeks ago! I'm a lot smaller in size and it's very noticeable in my face than 6 weeks ago but the scales haven't moved.

Whether this is just my body acclimatising or the gym work is having such a big impact I'm not sure or my brain is seeing me differently I just don't know.

So maybe just sit with it give yourself time and see where you are in a month.

I've lost 5st 7 and I'm now 8st. I still hate the way I look, I still see all the fat, and I can't for the life of me work out what size clothes I should be trying on. But I also know that people don't give a shit and no-one is thinking anything because everyone is generally just thinking about themselves (and they also tell me I look good, I just don't see it).

This is normal if you are working out, you are growing muscle and retaining water from sore muscles but you are losing fat, keep going!
Diet dropped my fat but working out gave me defined shape and a smaller size once diet wasn’t enough anymore.