I was overweight all my life. Grew up with a parent with an eating disorder (my father, which I think is probably rare) and food was always a topic in my house. Comments on how much everyone was eating, who “owned” what food, how awfully fat someone was getting, or how beautifully thin. My mother was typical of the time too- always going to Weight Watchers or do a Rosemary Connolly workout.
My parents were lovely, but very busy with two demanding jobs so food was used as a distraction and a babysitter. When I was old enough to drive, I’d sneak through drive throughs on my way home from work, and then just eat a small dinner with the family to keep my father off my back.
I’d start Weight Watchers or Slimming World but would only do it until my father backed off. Then the weight would go back on, plus another stone.
I moved away for uni and was surrounded by the London food scene which was amazing so I very quickly gained more but also developed more sophisticated taste. Would kid myself that I was eating healthily because it wasn’t McDonald’s. Would also convince myself that I wasn’t as big as I was- avoiding photos, never had a scales etc. Also avoiding seeing a GP.
Got bigger over Covid and moved to WFH which meant I was basically only leaving my desk to grab snacks. Married by this stage and with a husband who loved my cooking and baking.
By late 2022 I was so sick of myself. I had a chest infection and a it off going to the doctor because I was afraid I’d get a lecture about my weight. I ended up getting antibiotics via an online doctor and realised just how ridiculous I was being.
I don’t have health anxiety but I was so unfit and knew my heart was under pressure that I was becoming quite anxious about it- I’d wake during the night convinced that I’d have a heart attack. I was avoiding doing things with friends- especially if it involved walking as I knew I’d be sweating and breathless and embarrassed. If meeting friends for a meal, I’d scour the restaurant’s website and Instagram for photos of the interior to make sure I wouldn’t end up somewhere with a booth as I’d likely not fit.
July 2023 and I was fed up because everyone around me was going on lovely holiday and I wasn’t because I was afraid I wouldn’t fit on the plane, and knew I was too unfit to be able to do anything interesting. I knew it was frustrating for my husband and family.
I started researching WLI and decided (I laugh when I think back on this!) that if I just lost 5st, I’d no longer have a weight problem. I calculated it’s take a year to lose and loved the idea of no longer being fat by August 2024. A year seemed like a long way away so I took out my phone, looked at photos and calendars from July and August 2022 and realized that that year had felt like nothing, and so would the next one.
I went to my (lovely!!) GP, looked him straight in the eye and said “I’m here to chat about weightloss injections”.
His response was- “have you researched which one you think would suit you best?” 😍
And so I started Ozempic. Felt sick for the first week but got into my stride. Appetite and food noise subsided. I took a very mathematical approach- calculated my BMR and TDEE, tracked all food on My Fitness Pal. I told most people around me what I was doing and that meant they knew not to offer me cake, or didn’t get offended when I declined. I kept it from some people who I knew wouldn’t be supportive (my parents).
And basically I just kept on. It took about 4st before people started to notice. Once I hit 5st, I started walking a lot. I was away for work at a conference walk and, when I got back to my hotel, realized something felt strange. Then it hit me- I’d walked the two miles from the conference venue to my hotel without even thinking about it. I’d have previously taken a cab. Walking was just second nature now.
My 5st treat was a bucket list holiday. It was incredible. And then for every stone after that, I booked another holiday. I’ve been to some incredible places over the past year and done things I’ve never dreamt of.
I’ve cleared out every single item of clothing I had at bigger sizes. Got to the stage where I knew that if I put on weight, I wouldn’t even had knickers that fit.
And the clothes- good lord, the clothes! At the start I was just buying cheap basics as I sized down. That’s changed now as I’m closer to my target and I’ve bought some gorgeous things that will still be gorgeous if I go down one more size.
There’s been hard times. The Ozempic isn’t as effective for me now as I’d like so I’m having to rely more on self-control rather than suppression, but that’s not a bad thing. I’ve felt left out at times when all my friends are excited for a big meal and I’m sitting there with a chicken salad and skipping dessert, but it’s worth it.
For anyone considering injections, do it. It’s not a magic fix, but they definitely help make it easier if you’re at the stage where you’re willing to put the hard work in.