Feel like I wrote down half an opinion and bolted yesterday, so I'm back again with another half whilst my partner makes lunch singing a very spirited version of Toto's Africa.
The 'crushing inevitability' of weight regain that I was gibbering about yesterday is a curiously singular example of a rotten package deal that we're sold by a profitable industry.
As we progress through further education, for example, when studying to be a doctor or a teacher, we are not told at the beginning (or the end) with a certain amount of spite and glee by the media, coworkers or online blogs that we'll probably end up working at Matalan.
Our success is by no means guaranteed, but neither is our failure. It is hoped that we succeed.
I started taking Mounjaro with lofty aspirations of losing 100lbs. I was morbidly obese when I started and at risk of developing type 2 diabetes, at risk of stroke, some cancers, osteoarthritis, depression, sleep apnoea and heart attack. From the word go, there has been a background buzz of, 'you'll gain it all back and more', 'what if you can't lose the weight?' and more recently from several thirsty media outlets, 'pancreatitis! Ha, we've got you now!'
There are a couple of layers to this: firstly, that we measure a diet or, in my case, an attempt at a significant marathon of weight loss, in terms of success or failure. Of loss and regain. That the only acceptable outcome is total success and to remain permanently at that lower weight forever. Another layer to this is any subsequent gain means we've regained the weight. We've failed. We're never off the clock.
Whilst we exist, however temporarily, at a socially approved weight, we're simply putting off the inevitable: failure.
In 2017, after a life of being thin, I went through a life-changing incident and gained 3 stone over the following 2 years. I only left the house for work. I didn't go out at night. My doctor put me on some strong medication.
In 2019, I began to go out for walks again. I lost all the weight I'd gained by 2020. My life changed beyond recognition.
In 2022, it changed so significantly that I can't even connect the versions of myself I've had to evolve into being to get to this point. I gained 7 stone over 3 years.
Now, I'm losing weight. Do I connect the past 8 years together as one pot of data and conclude that I regained all the weight from 2017-2019 and I have failed? See myself as a 'yoyo dieter'? The data I've described could not be less linked.
I don't know if this comes across as pithy or facile, I'm sorry if it does. I clearly take umbrage with the idea that we are battling with ourselves and regaining the same weight over and over. We are complex, interesting, flawed living things going through all kinds of experiences. We can't fail. The statistics may say that weight gain happens to some that lose weight, but it is the 'you lost it, so it'll come back with friends' perspective that really grinds my gears. It doesn't allow for any life events, personal changes, bereavements or anything other than a precise, narrow definition of success.
And of course, if we lost weight and became underweight, would we be seen as failures? We know the answer to that one.